GENERAL NOTES: "Reflect, reflect, reflect, reflect -- forget."
SIDE NOTES: a bunch of drabbles about Berlice based on Fall Out Boy's Save Rock And Roll album in track list order.
this is so stupid
FIRST INTERLUDE ; THE PHOENIX
doesn't it feel like our time is running out?
Maybe it’s because when they first started um…you know, dating -- Berlioz desperately wanted no one to know (ever) at that point in time. Now that he thinks about it, that must have been really unfair.
It might’ve even hurt her feelings a little. Now that he thinks about it. She probably misunderstood his reasons for being so discreet about -- about them. (Why is it still so hard to say?) She could’ve interpreted that he was ashamed of her or embarrassed by her or even that he couldn’t be seen with someone like her.
Berlioz severely hopes she knew him better than that. Now that he thinks about it though, she might not have.
Now that he thinks about it.
He should really stop thinking about it. He wants to even, but all he can seem to do is reflect.
He turns over onto his back and stares up at the bare ceiling of his bedroom in the dark.
Reflect, reflect, reflect, reflect -- forget.
That’s what he needs to do. Forget. If he does that everything will be fine. They might even go back to normal.
i’m gonna change you like a remix / then i’ll raise you like a phoenix
He narrows his eyes at his last passing thought. Normal sounds pretty lonely. Maybe he should just go visit. But that would make everything so messy and he can’t. He can’t can’t can’t can’t. What would people think if he just ran into the hospital and said “Alice, are you okay? can I help? I really missed you, you know. I didn’t mean to take so long I just couldn’t make it out. I’m really sorry, Alice. Mon dieu, I’ll do anything to help you now I promise. What can I do? Can you play games? I’ve never been any good at chess because I thought it was boring but I’ll play with you if that’s all they have. I’m sorry I took so long. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know what to do but I had to come and say I think I might be --”
He bolts up so fast in bed he gets a little dizzy. He swallows hard and blinks rapidly for a few moments just trying to sort things out. It’s eerily quiet tonight, probably in the early hours of the morning by now and he’s just been up thinking about things he really needs to forget.
Berlioz shakes his head and slumps back onto the pillows. He’s going to sleep now. In the morning, he’s going to forget. For real this time.
“-- in love with you, Alice. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. “
put on your war paint
In the morning, he takes a quick moment to decide what he’s going to do if anyone asks about her.
Alice? Which one is that again? Oh right, of course. The poor girl that got hauled off to the hospital. Mon dieu, that’s too bad.
Yeah. That will work fine.
The following afternoon he has to do just that with Marie. It’s almost hard, actually. He’s usually pretty good at pretending not to care. Mostly because he’s not usually pretending.
Fuck, this is so difficult.
He realizes in the midst of the day that this could be considered really, excruciatingly selfish. It’s too bad he’s decided not to care anymore, he can be as selfish as he wants.
Word must have gotten back to his mother, and merde, he can only think of this going in one spiraling direction when she says “Berlioz…? I heard about your friend Mademoiselle Alice. I’m so sorry, Berlioz. Have you been doing alright?”
Berlioz, honestly, kind of wants to die a little when he replies, “Alice? Alice who?”
the war is won / before it’s begun / release the doves / surrender love
The main thing that bothers Berlioz is that he can’t figure out why he cares so much about one stupid girl. And what she thinks and where she is and who’s she’s with and what she’s doing and why she isn’t here with him.
This sucks.
His follow up question; why does it hurt? And why is it so unfamiliar the way it does? Not like a smack or a hit or a scratch from one of his sibling feuds. But like, in his chest? It feels really condensed, kind of heavy. Actually, it’s really heavy. This sucks.
He keeps thinking just that -- this sucks. This sucks. T h i s s u c k s. But what can he do? Berlioz already told everyone he can’t remember who she is.
She… He freezes. Merde, what’s her name?
She she she she, she she, she she… He starts panicking -- like, really really on the verge of freaking out. What’s her name? Her name? Berlioz knows it too, he swears he just knew it. Where did it go? Her name, her name, she she she is --!!
“Mon frere?”
His gaze snaps upwards to see Marie across the room, looking at him with a concerned expression. It makes sense, on the outside his actions probably looked questionable. Worrying, even. He stands up straight, swallows once, his eyes dart to the corner. “I’m fine.” He says quickly, he feels like he has to say that for some reason.
Out of the corner of his eye he sees her nod slowly, then she crosses her arms and shifts her weight to one side. “Have you gone to see her yet?” She asks, clear irritation cuts through her words.
“Who?” He asks desperately. It’s not like he’s actually pretending this time but he really, really doesn’t know. What’s her name? Say it, say it! Say it so he can just remember already and stop freaking out over nothing.
“You know who. Alice.” She practically spits at him, but he’s too relieved to care.
Alice.
He could almost hug his sister right now. He lets out a sigh and shuts his eyes tight. Alice. Berlioz pictures her on the beach and then in his living room and then at her holiday party. “Mon dieu.” He breathes out. It’s okay, he remembers.
“Um, hello? I am still here you know.” His sister whines her way into his mind.
“Go away.” Berlioz snaps at her. He still hasn’t opened his eyes.
“Ugh!” He hears her stomp away.
surrender love!
In the end it’s just hopeless.
He can’t even manage to forget her for a short period of time how is he going to do it forever? Attempting it would be stupid, so Berlioz decides to give up. He actually just can’t forget.
Or, more accurately, it appears he doesn’t want to.
AU SITUATIONS THAT WOULD BE P DAMN BAD ASS AMIRIGHT
under read more cause there's a lOOOOT
super bad ass ninja assassins au
super FREAKING bad ass ninja assassins au when they're on opposing sides
or spies either one super kick ass
that reminds me sUPER HEROES AU
and super hero/super villain au o0o00o0o
fairies
i don't know if u knew but i rly rly rly l o v e fairies
and witches
this reminds me of that one britkids au i never wrote but kinda loved
aNYWAY AHEM AHEM ghosts
ghosts ghosts ghosts ghosts ghosts ghosts g h o s t s
greek mythology au
i rly like the idea of thomas and alice being artemis and apollo even though it kinda doesn't make sense
but u kno
artemis swore off men u kno
and in this au wendy could be like a hunter of artemis u kno
so liek wendalice y/y/hy
i'm getting off topic but u knO
but thomas could be apollo cause tHE SUUUNNNNN and medicine and poetry and all that other crap but i really
like that
idea
for some reason
and jane would be athena like u kno it
aNYWAY
let's get down to business aka the good stuff aka u guessed it
serial killer au aYYYY
my fave my fave my f a v e mostly bc i really like the idea of said character's MO being related to their erm um """self"""??????
do u feel
like for hmm let's pick a random character vAL IDK it would be like
"victim has head severed from body, half naked idk oh and has a red heart painted on their chest in their bLUUUUD" or something cool and fuckin creepy af
that reminds me serial killer/detective au
this is becoming more and more about castle tbh i don't regret it
oh yeah writer's au
i guess in my head it's kinda like a coffee shop au but but but b u t
maybe like hrm hrm hum for example jimlet cause she's quiet and can't write at home bc she lives with dash for some reason and hE'S TOO ANNOYING UGH so goes to the coffee shop next to their apartment building to write
or below it
in it
whatever and jim is like "i h8 LYF UGHDGJFSD UGHGUHUISHJFGKJ" and he writes about aliens and treasure and stuff he wANTS TO BE REAL WHOAAOOAAOPAIUALJH his mom owns the apartment building dash and violet live in i made that up jUST NOW HOW AM I DOIN WADDUP
he likes to travel so he traveled a lot and looked for treasure "and also a job tbh" that was supposed to be in parenthesis what am i doing with my life
anyway he ran out of money and even though he graduated he didn't do /that well/ if u feel me and he skipped out on college lyf bc he has nOTHIN 2 PROVE 2 U OK and no future aw jim wey :c
so he goes back to the city i guess to help out his mom and she's like "well i need help running the coffee shop u kno" and he's like "oh fine whatever 4ever" but actually kind of likes being back
so on his breaks he writes and there's a rly cute girl that writes there too sometimes except she has a laptop he kind of just writes on napkins
idk this kind of spiraled out of control what
uM jungle au what what what what
celebrity au i rly like dis 1
dream walkers au!!!!!!!!
i REALLY LOVE DREAM WALKERS HO O L Y CRAP HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS BEFORE
FORURCJSLDK;F CUFKC FUCK
oh and bY THE WAY SOME OF THESE AREN'T ROMANCE SHIPS JUST IN CASE YOU THOUGHT I WOULD SHIP SERIAL KILLERS AND DETECTIVES well hold on
nO BUT ACTUALLY NOT EVERYTHING IS ROMANCE I RLY RLYKHJGASFKDHSGJKHA RLY LIKE AUS AND BROTPS AND HATESHIPS I LOVE THOSE SO MUCH WOW
what the hell is this it's supposed to be an organized list of possible aus
all it turned out to be was
idek tbh
oh what about resistance au i really love that one too
mERMAIDS AU OFC
everything i type reminds me of wendalice help
u kno now that i think about it that writer's one could also work for jane smith
fuck
fu u ck cjkjshdgkafg fuKC
pirates pirates pirates p I R A TE ES AU
cowboys
i love cowboys
cowboys johnmas au
i need to stop assigning characters to aus before i get attached to them
ok but my new obsession is future aus
like aRE THEY FROM THE FUTURE AND GET STUCK IN THE PAST?????? they're phil of da future u kno
oR ARE THEY FROM THE PAST AND GET STUCK IN THE FUTURE LIKE???? THIS IS MORE MICHAEL J FOX U GET ME
i also got rEALLY INVOLVED WITH THIS STUPID IDEA LIKE SOMEONE GOES TO THE FUTURE AND MEETS THEIR DESCENDANTS AND AND THEY BECOME BFFS AWH BUT THEY MEET A BOY/GIRL/SEA MAMMAL/ETC AND LOVE THEM AND whatnot lol sO THEY WANT TO STAYYYY IN THE FUTURE WITH THEM but they can't because then their bff descendant friend won't exist DDD: and this girl/boy/sea mammal/etc needs 2 stay in the future for whatever reason so in the end they're in lvoe or wh a t e v e r but the person has to return to the past sad awh2sad2cope
what am i doing
amnesia aus
not the anime though that would be p damn cool too
school teacher aus omfg
i tHINK LARII SAID SOMETHING ABOUT JANE SMITH CHEM/PE TEACHERS BEFORE THOUGH
alice teaches psych l o l wendy teaches english she's too cute omfg
thomas idk maybe he's the janitor
i'm kidding he can't even hold a mop
how did this become about britkids help
kINGDOMS AUUUUUUU
seriously though rock band au fuuUUUkc yeah
this is a wip btw
okay i'll be honest i'm thinking all these up on the spot that's why they suck
wAIT THERE WAS THIS ONE IDEA FUCK WHAT WAS IT
eh i'll remember it later in the meantime dRAGON SLAYERSSSS
oHOhohOHSCJGYALKSDJFH i remembeR
it was ok okokok 1960s au but not the cute normal kind
the kind where someone is a hippie and the other believes in fighting for their coUNTYYYY and so arguments ensue how dope
that word did not fit at all
how psychedelic
once again wendalice comes to mind with their stupid cute faces when i say 1960s floWER CHILDREN AU
where has this gone what
i know i've said that several times but wow this
wow
okAY I'LL ADD MORE TO THIS LATER WIP WIPWPIWPWIP #WIP BYE
titsay
gummygunk
janainaart
snowghoul
ellievsbear
annaxmalina
romaincrisis
kaledo-art
