No title available
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
todays bird
trying on a metaphor
Not today Justin
Xuebing Du
d e v o n
Keni
Andulka
Sweet Seals For You, Always
No title available
One Nice Bug Per Day
Product Placement
pixel skylines
blake kathryn
ellievsbear
No title available
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Kaledo Art
Discoholic 🪩
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@envisionofyou
I don’t know which universe I’d rather be in but I know it’s not this one.
We are sitting on the curb a few blocks away from my house, and you are crying. I have never seen a man other than my father cry. You’re holding your head in your hands, trying to explain what’s going on inside of your brain, and you keep repeating the same things until you tell me to forget that this ever happened. I didn’t forget though. Two months later, we have fifth period together. We haven’t spoken since you told me to forget and I don’t know if that’s for better or for worse but I do know that you got a new watch and still wear the pair of sneakers I bought for you. The teacher assigns us to do a project together and somehow the only words you say to me are “You’re doing slides nine and ten”, and all I say is “Ok”. I haven’t forgotten. I am sitting on the floor in the girls bathroom closest to our classroom. A few weeks have gone by, and we are studying eating disorders in fifth period. I’m holding my head in my hands, trying to think about anything other than whether or not you can tell that I’ve lost weight since you told me to forget. I’m torn between wanting you to remember and give a shit, and wanting you to forget what I️ even look like. Another month goes by and now we are nothing but two people who know too much about each other. You take the long way to class to avoid me, and I️ pretend to be on my phone every time I️ see you. But I️ wanted to let you know I’ve started to forget the things we did together, the sound of your laugh, and what your favorite movie is. And I️ can’t wait till the day I️ can’t remember anything about you.
Still trying to figure out how to forget how to write about him
1. you looked at me right before you kissed me like i meant something. 2. how your hair looked right when you woke up, how i liked that version of you better than the charade you put on in front of others. 
3. my head laying on your chest, and your tired voice telling me how beautiful I looked in the moonlight. 
4. your lips on my neck with your hands tangled in my hair. 
5. my arms around you the night you had your first panic attack. 
6. the tears in your eyes when you told me that you were scared to mess this up. 
7. i trusted you more than anyone in the world and you knew that. 
8. your arms tightened around me when I told you about my past, as if you were trying to protect me. 
9. my bare chest pressed against yours on nights where i gave you so much of me. 
10. i was naive and thought that you really changed, maybe you’re just a good actor. 
11. you were my best friend. 
12. you ripped my fucking heart out of my chest. 
13. you gave it back with pieces missing. 
14. my best friend had to watch me lay in my bed, drowning in my own tears when i came home that day. 
15. i don’t know what you’ve told other people about me. 
16. my body ached the first day without you. 
17. i almost called you because i had a panic attack the first night my friends stopped sleeping over. 
18. i have to pretend you didn’t hurt me as much as you did. 19. i have to pretend like seeing you every day doesn’t make my heart drop and my knees shake. 
20. i threw up last weekend when a boy who wasn’t you tried to touch me. 
21. i wanted you to come after me, but you didn’t. 22. i always say that what happened doesn’t bother me, but really i’ve never felt more worthless than in that moment i walked away from you.
things i’m too scared to write about you
It's about pride. It's mentioning how little you've eaten that day. It's being able to wear your jeans from middle school. It's tossing in turning in bed at 3AM because of the pain in your stomach from how hungry you are.It's making sure that no one eats less than you, and making sure that no one ever watches you eat. It's memorizing how many calories are in a piece of toast. It's the smile on your face when your friends comment on how thin you've gotten. It's not being able to wear your favorite bracelets because they slide right off your wrist. It's counting how many times you chew, and mastering the art of distracting your family from the fact that all you've had today was a cup of coffee in the morning. It's not being able to fit into the bras you could wear a month ago because you're running out of body parts to become thinner. It's blurry vision and weak arms. It's losing parts of your personality because there's no other weight to lose. It's not going to nice restaurants with your friends and not being able to have anything but a glass of water. It's you, fading away, piece by piece until there's nothing left but the skeleton of someone you never wanted to be. It's the only thing on your mind, and though it's killing you it's the only thing you really know how to do well.
My Eating Disorder.
12/3/17 We don't even know each other that well but I feel like I can trust you with everything. 20/3/17 When you kissed me I felt like I could taste every color of the rainbow, I can't even decide what my favorite color is anymore. 28/3/17 You came out of nowhere and I'm usually not one for surprises but this is one I'm okay with. 7/4/17 I fell asleep in your sweatshirt last night and with a smile on my face. I woke up dizzy and I'm not sure if was from your cologne or just the thought of you. 16/4/17 You told me that you were going to stick around and God I've never wanted anything as much as I want that. 30/4/17 I almost had a panic attack at prom last night but the second you pulled me to you to dance I forgot all about how anxious I was. I don't even like dancing. 8/5/17 I know you don't believe me but you are perfect in every aspect of the word, especially to me. 20/5/17 It's our anniversary, I can't wait for so many more to come. Here's hoping for many more. 1/6/17 I get this feeling in my chest every time you hug me that you're going to leave me, that's why I hug you so tight. 14/6/17 When you cried the night I told you everything I realized no one has ever cared about me like you do. It made me want to get better. 26/6/17 I should have told you this before I left last night but I'm falling in love with you. I'm counting down the days until I see you again. 1/7/17 Was that really it? Do I not even matter enough to you for a reason as to why you're doing this? 2/7/17 This is messy it's so fucking messy why did you do this? I deserve more than this you didn't even tell me why. 4/7/17 We made plans to be together today but now you're getting drunk with her and I'm on my fifth cigarette. 6/7/17 You promised that you would always be there for me, you fucking promised. Did you change your mind or were you just lying to me? Why doesn't anyone stay like they say they will? 9/7/16 I never got to tell you I was falling in love but it looks like that was for the better, wasn't it? 12/7/17 I'm getting bad again oh fuck I'm getting bad, I don't know what to do and all I want is to be able to talk to you again but you don't give a damn about me and I have to pretend to not care about you. 15/7/17 You said you wanted to change but you're a goddamn liar. You never changed. You were just pretending to be different while your hand was under my shirt. 21/7/17 I hope one day you'll become the man you were pretending to be. Not the goddamn liar you turned out to be. 1/8/17 I wish you would have told me sooner that you didn't see a future with me. Now you're just a stranger walking around with parts of me that I'll never get back.
Text messages I never sent
A few weeks difference // Things My Exes Said #1
Some days are better than others. I dance around my room while I’m getting ready in the morning, when the music is loud enough I love the way my naked body moves, and I’m not ashamed of the way my stomach rolls when I bend over. I eat three meals a day and don’t count each calorie, and I ignore the way my stomach looks before I go to sleep at night. Some days I don’t think about him all, and he becomes just a boy who didn’t deserve me. I bat my eyelashes at new boys with a smile across my lips, basking in their attention. I laugh with my friends, and get along with my family. I drive with my windows down, the wind whipping through my hair, I feel free. But some days are worse than others. I struggle to get out of bed, each of my limbs weighing me down. I stare at my body in the mirror, picking out every flaw and how I can fix it. I live off of coffee, crackers and cigarettes, and I add up the calories in each cracker to make sure I don’t go over my limit. My weight becomes the only thing on my mind, and simple conversations become too much for me to handle because all I can think about is how many sit-ups I need to do to burn off the chip I ate at lunch. Some days I feel his absence in my chest, and all I want to do is run into his arms when things go wrong. I take the long way home just to drive past his house, and I regret trusting him with so much of me because God knows if I'll ever trust anyone the way I trusted him. I plaster a smile on my face so my friends don't ask any questions, they avoid my sadness at all costs the same way I avoid my family. Some days are better than others, and some days I want to get better. But other days I'm happy with slowly destroying myself, and I push getting better to the furthest corner of my mind.
Recovery is tough.
February- They warned me about you. Every single fucking person warned me that you were no good for me. I ignored them and gave you a chance anyways. We would stay up talking until dawn about anything and everything, I’ve never trusted someone more than I trusted you. You made me feel significant, like for once someone wanted to know everything about me. If I could I would have spent every moment with you, because between all the chaos in my life I’ve never felt like I had a home. But with you, I finally had one. March- We kissed for the first time and I swear my heart fell into your hands the second our lips touched, but you kept it safe. You kept a polaroid picture of me in your wallet and another in your phone case. I told you once that the way you treated me was the way my father told me a man should treat a woman, and you grinned and kissed me on the forehead. I met your parents and you met mine, and we were so incredibly happy to be together. Your arms became a safe place for me to run to, and your smile became the biggest reason for mine. April- My knees still got weak every time I was about to see you. Each kiss was sweeter than the one before, and I never got tired of kissing you. One night you came to my house in a panic and you said you were terrified of messing things up between us, and I told you that I wasn’t going to leave that easily. You took me to prom, and I’m not much for dancing, or for big crowds, but I tried for you. I’ve never felt more beautiful than I did that night, not just because of your compliments, but because I hadn’t been as happy as I was then, slow dancing with you while you tried to sing along, in a while. May- As each day went by we grew closer and closer together. And we became more and more serious. I realized how much it was going to hurt if we said goodbye, so I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and forgot it ever came up. Those nights where we would lay on the couch in your basement pretending to watch a movie are some of my favorite memories of you. How you fell asleep while I played with your hair, the way you looked at me before our lips met, how much you loved building forts. I learned so much about you from the hours we would spend together. And we made plans, for days, weeks and months down the line, hoping and praying we would make it that far. June- Everything changed for me, when I realized I loved you, and that I was beginning to fall in love with you. I knew that I trusted you more than anyone, so I told you everything. From the anxiety, to the depression, to the eating disorder. That night was the first time I saw you cry, when I asked why you were crying, and you said “Because I’m so fucking worried about you”. I had never had anyone care that much about me, and I was so scared to lose that. But then you held me and my fears went away, you said that you would always be there for me, that you would never be scared away from me, and that you weren’t going anywhere. It was after that night that when I pictured my future, the only thing I really saw was you. July- It’s funny how people can surprise you. We didn’t even make it a day. I came home from being away for a week, and you came over full of bullshit excuses and blatant lies. You said that we should just be friends as if you hadn’t told me how much you missed me the night before. As if you hadn’t kissed me the night before I left with the same mouth petty lies were spewing out of, as if the past 4 months never even happened, and as if I was nothing but another notch on your belt. You turned back into everything you said you didn’t want to be, and I can’t help but wonder if you really changed, or if you were just keeping that hidden while we were together. And maybe it’s my fault for believing in you when no one else did, and for trusting you with things I had never told anyone, but I thought you were different, and I guess that’s where I was wrong about you. So color me bitter, and paint me as a psycho, but you are exactly who you said you didn’t want to be. And the funny thing is that I don’t think you even realize it.
I should have known better
i'm falling in love with him but god i'm fucking terrified how do people do this i'm so scared
It starts like this: Your eyes meet across the room and you feel your heart drop and stomach twist. He smiles your way, with flushed cheeks and bright eyes and you wonder how a human being can look so wild but beautiful at the same time. Before you know it you're kissing him on the couch in his basement. He has one hand wrapped around your waist and the other tangled in your hair and you can feel every color of the rainbow through his lips. Then all of a sudden the days seem brighter and songs sound happier, and the constant blush present on your cheeks is enough for everyone to know you're falling hard. Now he's calling you his baby girl and you're shouting that you love him with your head out the window of his car. And strangers watch you holding hands and smile because they know all too well what young love is like. You tell him secrets you've never told anyone before, because his arms feel like the home you've never had and the way he holds you makes you feel untouchable. And you're scared of a future without him, and scared of pushing him away. But the way he looks at you makes you forget, and you hang on to every word he says, praying to be able to love him forever.
4/6/17
i'm so lucky holy shit
someone give me boy advice ASAP!!! please!!!!
just wanna hold ur hand for 10000 years... that cool?
Somehow, going through all the posts made me feel like I'm reading a biography of my life, written by someone else.
that's so crazy, it's always such a weird feeling when someone says they relate to the things I write. but its so cool that you can relate even to the things that are sucky that I write about, just goes to show that there are people out there who understand what we feel like even when we feel like no one would ever understand.
Wanna take you like a drug, breath you in and let you fill my lungs. Because I haven't even had a taste of you, and yet I'm already addicted. Wanna feel your skin against mine, whether it's your fingertips or your lips. Because I feel dizzy even when you just look at me, and God, I can't even imagine what kissing you would be like. Wanna know what your arms around me would feel like, wanna feel like I have a place to go. Because I have a habit of making homes out of people, and I can't help but hope that you could be that home. Wanna learn everything about you, stories from when you were little and the things that happened yesterday. Because every time you open your mouth I'm hypnotized, and I could do with some time away from my own mind. Wanna know every thought that runs through your head, the good, the bad, and the questionable. Because lately all I can seem to think about is whether or not you’re thinking about me, and it's killing me to wonder whether or not you feel the same.
wanna love every inch of you, and fuck, I hope this feeling never fades
29/4/16 I’m in love with everything about him from his fingers to his smile to the freckle on the side of his neck. I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love. 7/5/16 I’ve never been religious but his lips feel like heaven and that’s enough to make me question my beliefs. I can’t get enough. 15/5/16 He’s consuming my heart more and more each day I didn’t think it was even possible to be this full of love, and the best part is he loves me too. 21/5/16 He’s moving but God I don’t care I just want to be with him no matter the consequences. 28/5/16 Keeping a secret has never been so hard, especially when I’m the secret. I’m running out of excuses to tell people. 4/6/16 Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, I can’t bear to think about life without him, I miss him already. 8/6/16 I think I love him more than he loves me. 13/6/16 He doesn’t hold me like he used to. I’m not sure if it’s me or the stress. 21/6/16 I love him more than he loves me. I can see it on his face. 27/6/16 Make it stop please it hurts too much to know he was with her, make it stop, make it stop. It’s taking over my head and my thoughts, the images of them together. 3/7/16 I want him gone, I want him as far from me as possible. The sound of his name makes my blood boil and his voice makes my fists clench. I’m tired of all the fucking excuses. 12/7/16 I hate everything about him from his arms to his laugh to his stupid dark brown eyes. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.
Funny how fast things change