her head ducks down, giggling softly at lorenzo’s words despite the H E A V Y topic the weighs down her thoughts. “ i mean it was funny, i think ? i just – ‘m havin’ a hard time payin’ attention. ” maritza replies, gaze rising to meet the other’s even though all she wants to do is stare anywhere else. his question reverberates through her mind until it can form an answer. maritza usually throws caution to the wind, acting before thinking to give her life the spontaneity she craves. opening up the subject of their relationship required thought – maritza unwilling to let the consequences R U I N whatever the two are rekindling. the odds are fifty / fifty in her mind – either lorenzo feels the remnants of a S P A R K or he doesn’t. all maritza knows is she still wants him in her life no matter what, a kindred spirit that understands her past better than anyone else. “ um – ‘m feelin’ like we should talk ‘bout somethin’ ‘cause i dunno how much longer i can keep it from ya’. ” maritza murmurs meekly, picking at the loose threads of the rip in her jeans as she speaks. her confidence wavers, hiding away like a C O W A R D in a moment when she needs it the most. “ lately, ‘ve kinda’ felt like – shit, i dunno how to fuckin’ say this. ” she shakes her head, gaze slowly rising to meet lorenzo’s – the moment too important to stare at her clothing. “ have ya’ ever thought ‘bout us ? like, us us. ”
it was a question. definitely a question ... one that lorenzo had fought from asking himself, and maybe for good reason considering he didn’t have much of a clue as to how to answer it. he’d imagine the same could be said for maritza, considering how she stumbled over her words and her nerves were visible to the eye. their relationship meant a lot to him when they dated, and their friendship meant a lot to him now that they had reconnected; maybe even more, this time around. they both have an almost shared past, and that sort of companionship is something he’s been missing since moving to the west coast. but just because there is this sense of precedent and that feeling of ‘i know what you’re going through’, it doesn’t always mean that there are true feelings there. it may all be a facade; a matter of convenience and the mind tends to trick itself into thinking real feelings are there when they aren’t. lorenzo couldn’t tell where his heart and head lay, but he knew he felt something deeper than something on the surface for maritz, and it went well beyond just knowing that she understood his struggles. ❝ yeah, i guess i have, ❞ he said, cautious as his eyes moved her fingers playing with her jeans to her eyes, ❝ i mean, i have, yeah. there’s a lot to think about when it comes to us, like us, us, ❞ he teased for a brief moment, a smirk directed towards her, ❝ i’d be lying if i said i haven’t thought about you every week i’ve been here. you’re this same sweet, spontaneous girl i’ve always known, but there’s something more too. something i’m less familiar with, something i also can’t stop thinking about. ❞ he confessed, his eyes steady on hers as he exhaled slowly, leaving it up to hear to respond however she wanted to. or if she wanted to respond. lorenzo wasn’t a beat around the bush type of guy, so he was going to be honest and upfront with her, but he was also being careful of what he said. on the off chance she’d be entirely opposed to his sentiment, he wanted to make sure he didn’t say anything that he couldn’t take back, either.
