Japes | Quips | Roasts

By Eldest One, Middle One & Youngest One

[eomoyo-life]

M.O. , noticing the freshly brewed tea: Oh, look at that batch! That’s such a clear tea!

M.O. , not even 5 seconds later: CLARI-TEA! HA H A!

[eomoyo-life]

M.O. , peering at sign: . . . why does it read as Hikers Have? Hikers have what?? What??? Finish your statement please!

E.O. , looking it over: . . . Oh, I thought the sign says Hikers Grave. My bad.

[eomoyo-life]

M.O. : So, if you were to take a guess, where is their [speaker’s] accent come from?

E.O. , still staring at phone : Hmm, I can’t tell. Pretty sure they’re not from down south, because they're not posh, but they’re also not of the hoi polloi regions . . .

M.O. :  . . . J e s u s

[eomoyo-life]

Y.O. : She didn’t say it, I don't think . . .

M.O. : Nah, I’m pretty sure she did. 

E.O. : Great, now you [two] are making me doubt myself.

Y.O. , affronted: I always doubt you!

[eomoyo-life]

If he forgives you, then he forgives all. Therefore, it’s better he not forgive anyone at all.

E.O. argument as to for Goody, Two-Shoes character to go Apeshit

[eomoyo-life]

I’m ready to be Isekai-ed!

E.O. describing her drip for Y.O.’s graduation ceremony

[eomoyo-life]

M.O. : Are they [the cats] still outside?

E.O. : Yep. Still staring at each other. The White Bread and The Multigrain.

M.O. , looking at Apollo : I don’t think that works...

E.O. : No, sorry. Not Multigrain. The Marble. The White Bread and The Marble.

[eomoyo-life]

Now get out of my sight before you incur my wrath

E.O. ‘s prepared one liner for their Villain Arc, part 2

[eomoyo-life]

You had my curiosity, but now it’s my ire

E.O. ‘s prepared one liner for their Villain Arc, part 1

[eomoyo-life]

Of course everything is chess; the moment cameras are involved, it’s already [turned to] chess.

E.O.’s comment on being in front of the camera for the world to see

[eomoyo-life]

Y.O. : There’s a cardinal by the bird feeder!

M.O. : Huh . . . *snaps a photo*

E.O. , also snapping photo : So, when’s the pope going to get here?

M.O. : . . . I hate you. Truly.

[eomoyo-life]

E.O. : Could you imagine your life if a Fairy cursed you because they've got menopause?

M.O. , deadpan : Let’s be real [if you were the Fairy] you'd curse someone for even less

[eomoyo-life]

M.O. , looking at bonsai trees : Oh, these are so cute!! So tiny!!! You could fit one in your hands!!!

E.O. , grinning : You, uh . . . you could say it’s,uh. . . a . . . palm tree then ?

[eomoyo-life]

I used my sternum as an anchor point, and now it hurts.

M.O. trying to open a jar of honey for E.O.

[eomoyo-life]

Help; I am child of child-proof lock.

E.O. after giving M.O. the closed bottle of Tylenol

[eomoyo-life]

Code Rags! Wait, no . . . Clothe rags? No, that’s not it either. . . Coat racks? . . . COAT RACKS!!!

M.O. ‘s less than stellar thought process in the store, as witnessed by E.O.

[eomoyo-life]

The longer I stare at the eyeballs, the more they look like dumplings...

E.O. to M.O. , who was prepping fish for supper