here she lies where she longed to be ;
LINKS: self • stat • bond • uniform • mun + guidelines • thread tracker
Keni
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
noise dept.

#extradirty

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@ephemeralove
here she lies where she longed to be ;
LINKS: self • stat • bond • uniform • mun + guidelines • thread tracker
a blanket of white, unbroken
The long, dark nights often lead to despair, but this year seems to have led to a more extreme crisis. Some members of the Knights of Seiros defy their orders and steal away with some crest stones in the dark of night. The promise of power and, most importantly, eternal warmth in a cold winter drives their actions, but they are powerless against the curse. These monsters roaming the hills may have been your allies once, but there is no trace of them here.
The last of the beast’s resistance comes in the form of an agonizing howl, and Valter’s response to this is a simple one: to stab the point of his blade right beneath its crest stone; to weigh down against the beam with the stone as the fulcrum; and, with the monster greatly weakened, to simply wedge the rock from its forehead.
—resulting in the dissolution of its form, the mess of sludge and muck sloughing onto the forest floor as the Moonstone catches the object of interest and then lands, on his feet, in the midst of the mess. The rock burns red-hot as though it is from the stove of a stirring mind, and behind it—behind the cold, calloused grip that runs its edges, mapping its grooves—there is the corpse of a man whose freeze had driven him here to begin with.
And Valter’s eyes glimmer, a newfound understanding sparking in his mind. (The flame must come from somewhere. The desperate were merely logs in the fireplace.)
“ Hm? ”
Because of course, she would have something to say—why wouldn’t she? The alternative was to be in such awe that she was stunned speechless, but for as tireless as the ordeal was (for as quickly as he had worked had to tear the thing down to its heels), the knight doesn’t find it to have been all that impressive. (It was a baby of a beast; still fresh from the oven, its heart burning to be known.) Perhaps if he had defeated a more seasoned monster that could be plausible; she speaks, and Valter listens, and he lets her words rattle around in his skull.
“ Perhaps, ” he replies, rolling this second crest stone between his fingers; around his palm. “ Well, no, actually, I would be the strongest of the lot. There would be no question. ” (Pocketed: the two stones clatter like marbles far larger than analogized—but nothing, as far as he can tell, occurs as a consequence. He had read they could be stored in proximity; the threat was combat about them.) “ But why stoop so low to begin? ”
It had burned a bit, he recalls, to have done battle with the first on his person. Even if he was not using the thing as a weapon, it seemed to hunger just as he did, seeking a bloodshed just as he sought. The question then emerges: what had his once-fellow knights done to trigger the transformation? (Was it proximity? Had the thing beat too closely to their own hearts, and then chosen to take its place?) Marbles clattering, the information rolls around in his brain; how did it work? What made these things tick?
And then: a click in his mind, punctuated with his head snapping upwards straight ahead, a physical acknowledgement of his epiphany. He turns to actually face the girl then, and then he reaches for the second crest stone and pulls it out of his pocket.
(Would the fact that it had just been used have an impact on the reality of things? There had only been so much time to research before he’d staked out—the winter was only so long—but he doesn’t imagine it should be the case.) “ You would want this, wouldn’t you? ” he asks, and the question comes with a rumbling of laughter at the end. With no further explanation, he winds up, and then he throws it—
And whether or not it is caught isn’t really something Valter is concerned with; it hardly even mattered if it hit her, or if she chose to sidestep the thing completely. (What mattered was the burn, agitated by some faux sense of violence, catching in the air instead of igniting something of his essence.) The first of the stones seems to react to it as well, but it’s duller; dimmer. (It hasn’t been primed in the same way as the second.)
All discoveries; all things learned; and one by one, Valter’s questions find themselves answers. (New ones, of course, crop up in their place, but he’d long since understood that that was simply how knowledge worked.) Learning unveiled more of that which could not have been asked; and the Moonstone starts to gain a better understanding of that which has been relegated to midnight.
“ What do you think of it all? ” he asks then, suddenly, tone dry and opaque. (It is probably the most sensitive thing he has said all night.) “ About how these things work. Surely, there’s a method to the madness. ”
The goal was to piece it together; little by little; bit by bit. If one did not know now, well, that was the point of research: to get your hands on something and break things. (Hearts, spirits, minds, if one would—he’d seen it all crumble before, and he learned from it all; of curses and the undead.) One would piece together the fragments of the truth and then, once all was understood, they could come to a conclusion.
“ I’m certain you’ve been paying attention, so don’t pretend you have nothing to comment. ”
He must have relegated her to the back of his mind, Katarina surmises from the oddly weightless acknowledgement of her existence. Surely he would not have forgotten the student who trespassed upon his journey, unless the bloodlust had consumed him so entirely... there is a spark lit behind her eyes as the thought passes, sheltered from the breath of Winter with a subtle hand.
Later, she might indulge it, in an attempt to understand one of countless many of Fódlan's mysteries; for now, she watches a folly undone, beast made once more a man, and man made once more a squandered potential. What remains of him falls apart -- flesh sloughs away and liquefies, the scent scratching against her throat like smoke and acrid rot. Bone splinters, shatters, and rises into the sky like ash, scattered and forgotten just the same.
She might have laughed at his certainty, were she someone who hoped more and believed less. It is only natural he would be the strongest of the beasts; those of greater strength than him would always have remained among men.
Gray eyes flicker when he continues, reaching into his pocket, and in this he does surprise her, for she sorely doubts her words had anything to do with it: he throws the crest stone to her. One of them, at least, though the fact he would relinquish any at all defies her expectations. Still she cools her expression to something impassive and immovable, lest she give him the satisfaction, a hand darting out to catch it.
Heat coils in the stone, stinging against a palm irrevocably marked by fire once before. Steam whispers against scarred flesh, but though it stings in its warmth, Katarina finds that it cools just as quickly. Turning it between her fingertips, she ignores the sound of his laughter, for the first time slightly furrowing her brow. Honestly, the most surprising thing this night was that he cared what she thought at all.
"...Blood," comes the softly-spoken answer after a protracted silence, the hand finally lifted from the spark that lit the wick. Still nursing the idea, she lapses quiet once more, though the way her gaze shifts from the crest to the man who gave it to her betrays the motion of thought.
Just how much control does she estimate this man to have? ...More than she'd initially given him credit for, she thinks.
"Fódlan's relics react to blood," she continues abruptly, fingers curling and unfurling over the stone; despite its initial heat, it feels quite normal now. "Relics from other lands do too, but Fódlan's are especially sensitive. They... reject more violently." Raising the crest stone to eye level, she closes her hand around it again, this time turning her hand and watching the glimpses of it between her fingers.
"Or... not reject," she murmurs, nearly to herself. "Claim... Consume... Integrate?" A shake of the head. "I think... it reacts to you when your blood is pumping, when your heart is beating fast... when you feel alive." Not to yourself, but to whatever force within the crest stone tries to change you. And in the back of her mind, Katarina wonders how similar each of these transformed individuals would appear. Just whose body is it, in the end...?
a handful of flowers
mission board: herald - +1 any skill (a strange orb)
A strange orb has been seen around the monastery, said to be from the world of Zenith. Rumors say that it can show another facet of yourself in another outfit, from another timeline, or even another world. Of course, not every rumor is to be believed, but you suddenly find the possibility very real when you happen across this orb for yourself— and find yourself living that very facet out. [Grants Any Skill +1]
She feels the absence of things like classes and homework much more keenly on days like today. Absent any clear purpose for her afternoon, Katarina's mind turns toward the many books she'd received for her birthday and which one of them to start next; then, when those thoughts pass as well, her mind drifts toward the latest odd rumor she'd caught wind of at the monastery. A 'strange orb', is it? That doesn't sound so bad; she doubts there's any version of herself to be afraid of.
All of that goes forgotten when she spies a familiar head of hair in the distance. Eyes brighten, steps quicken, lips parted in what hasn't decided whether it will be a greeting or a smile yet --
"Soren?" She calls his name tentatively, settling on both as the corners of her mouth push upwards. He's dressed... much more brightly than she's used to seeing him, garbed in a large swath of white and more still of greens like meadows, rather than the forests she knows him for. Not to mention there's a flower on his wrist, and a great many more in the basket nestled in his arm. Her hand curls closer to her chest.
"Good afternoon," comes the soft greeting. Then: "Is... something happening today?"
@senerist
shades we're painted in
⤷ ethereal ball 2025: first half.
“I don't think you need to 'deserve' that,” Leif's answer comes swiftly but not with the strength of a lion's roar. It is quiet, it is contemplative— equal to the effort that Katarina clearly puts into trying to grasp this answer.
Leif will never have all the answers, and he certainly does not whilst he is still so young and green around the gills. But for what answers he lacks now, he still holds beliefs and convictions.
“If you had to earn that, then nobody would listen to each other and learn. The world would never improve that way.” He holds the belief that these are the steps he must take, and if he were to doubt his ability to take them, he knows he would never move at all.
“Do you want people to be happy, Katarina?” Leif asks, taking the position again. “If you never talk to understand them, you'll never know how to prevent them from being sad.”
"...Always?" It isn't a challenge, but something soft, searching for certainty. And, truth be told, there is plenty of it to be found in the swiftness of his answer, the surety it implies.
He reminds her a bit of Marth in this moment. The impression of him is different -- there are hard lines to him where her liege lord is more graceful, and in an inexplicable sense much steadier, to her eyes -- but it is there in the thought that pads the edges of Leif's words. Contemplation. Sincerity.
The old fire on her palm feels warm again. He raises points that are hard to argue against, though argument had never been her motive; perhaps that is why part of her feels mired, still, in her doubt: it is much easier to 'lose' than to believe.
"I do," she answers softly. "I-- I do, but--" Can I even make someone happy in the first place? Her lips press together, conscious of how the words would veer from wonder into burden. "If..." Her tone takes on an apologetic note, not wanting to diminish the question he'd posed her but unable to stifle her own. "Even if... you don't need to earn it, at first... do you think you can lose it?"
✦ —𝐠𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭; 𝐠𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐨 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.
↳ mission: anniversary 2024 ( +1 any skill — oct. edition )
In hindsight, raising his voice as he just did could attract more danger instead. The amount of noise he’s made in general over the past few minutes has probably given away his position to anything or anyone nearby that could be a threat, and all he has to defend himself with are a tree branch and his wits. He has so much to learn from his grandfather still if he’s to become a knight of Altea someday—swordsmanship to refine, tactics to study…
He needs to find his way back. MacLear is a stern man, rarely affectionate and sparing with his praise, but even he will surely worry if Kris is gone for too long. They’re each other’s only family; that’s how it’s always been throughout Kris’s admittedly not-very-long life, just the two of them in their little house in the village. Being scolded for disappearing without warning is wholly preferable to never seeing his grandfather again.
But all that peeks up from behind the bushes is a girl’s head. Or at least he thinks she’s a girl, going off the sound of her voice when she answers him.
“…Just a few scrapes,” he mutters, lowering his improvised weapon ever so slightly. Said scrapes still sting a bit (more than just a bit, really, but he’s getting better at toughing out his hurts the more of them he accumulates), but he puts on a brave face to mask the fact as he stares back, drawn first to the vibrant violet of the other kid’s hair and then to gray eyes timidly peering up at him from below. Definitely not features he’s seen before, even in passing, so she isn’t from Sera. One of the neighboring villages, maybe?
(If they’re still in Altea at all. It’s difficult to have a concept of Anywhere Else when you’ve never so much as left the countryside.)
“You said you were lost, right? Where are you from?” The tree branch in his grip dips another inch; he’s been warned against judging people by appearances alone, but the longer he looks at her the harder it is to believe she could mean any harm. He’s as lost as she is, even if he won’t admit it as readily.
Either they can find their respective ways back alone, or they can do it together.
The 'sword' he brandishes doesn't scare her-- and she would be a disappointment if it did-- but it does direct her actions, in a manner of speaking. For as long as he leaves it raised, she stays on the other side of it, but it does little to hide the passage of worry across her features. It had seemed something of a long fall, but then again, it's not as if there's anything she can do for him.
"Um..." Rubbing the fabric of her tunic between thumb and finger, she considers it for a moment, her gaze dipping toward the ground. That's not a question she's supposed to answer -- not truthfully, not ever. When she thinks of some half-truth to take its place, however, a bit of the light leaves her eyes.
"...Knorda." She croaks the answer quietly, lips pressing together just slightly. Just recalling it is unpleasant, but if she can at least find her way there, she can orient herself well enough to leave it again. Back to Clarisse and Roro, and-- Lady Eremiyah. "...oh." She'll be in trouble, won't she? That is, unless they haven't noticed yet, but that thought doesn't give her much comfort either. Pulling at her shirt just a bit, she hides a faintly troubled frown behind it.
"Wh-what about you?" Reese peeks at him again. He's alone, just like her, but he doesn't look nearly as worried about it. Either he's confident or just composed, but either way... she wants to be a little bit more like him. Relinquishing her grip on her shirt, she tries to shrink into herself a little less.
"...A-also!" It's a bit of an overcorrection, and she flinches at the sound of her own voice, not quite loud by any measure of the word except her own. "...Also, um," she overcorrects a second time, her voice even softer than before, "...my name is Reese. It's... nice to meet you."
something in the mirror
mission board: herald (troublemakers & handholding)
As the academic year comes to a close, one too many people have been caught participating in what the Church has been calling ‘unscrupulous’ behavior. An initiative to reform detention into “something that actually works” is underway: a model faculty member or student is paired with a 'problem person’ in the monastery, and the two are magically bound, forced to hold hands for a whole week straight. The close proximity to a good example and threat of being caught in a loop of new handlers every week are theorized to be just what is needed to “fix” these troublemakers. Hope for your own sake that the bound hand isn’t your dominant one…
Fingers curl over the subtly warped skin of her dominant hand, nails poking lightly at Katarina's palm as she wrestles against guilt and relief. The professor she's been paired with is not an unfamiliar face, and he'd been kind enough to cede the privilege of keeping a free dominant hand to her, besides. It wouldn't have been a terrible trouble either way, but... she's grateful for the concession.
That only adds to the touch of confusion in her eyes as the cleric who had bound them takes their leave. He'd seemed a pleasant enough man from their brief encounter at the Ethereal Ball, and by all (admittedly brief) accounts now, the impression holds true.
"Excuse me," she begins softly, breaking the newly-fallen silence, "Is... it okay if I ask what got you in trouble? I didn't think they'd punish a professor like this... um, not that I..." Another pause, searching for the right word and settling on good enough. "...mind?" She supposed the same logistical issues applied to the students, but it seemed a bit different when the one branded as being 'in trouble' was the one teaching the class.
@crested-flames
the world is more water than love
->LANCE+1
"There's that smile." From what Niles could tell, it didn't seem like she smiled very often, and he's noticed the way she speaks so quietly. It's not his place to ask her if something happened in her past to make her that way. As curious as he is, this doesn't seem like the time to ask. Not after what they went through in the mirror. One of his hands extends out to take his oar back and it's dipped into the water to begin paddling away from the old man's dock. "I don't know how big this pond is but if we want to talk for a bit, we should head further out, don't you think?"
A small smile forms at the suggestion and the outlaw nods in response. Instantly, he's reminded of Camilla, who had been making him different types of teas to help with his sleep from the moment she'd learned why he tried to stay awake. They helped, but he always thought she helped more. She was patient, calm, and he found her presence far more comforting than anything else he'd tried. "My wife makes a lot of lavender and chamomile teas for me. It helps. I'm still not sure how much, but the routine of it is nice."
At her question, Niles averts his gaze averts down to the water, watching it ripple as his oar cuts through the surface. There are a few beats of silence at her question, and he doesn't know what to say. It's hard for him to tell what she needs him to say. "I only really met Yucie... She seemed real, but I don't know if there was a way to know for sure. I ran into her in the forest and she had that demon following her and sword she'd told me about." The way his energy was sapped from him and he'd been brought to his knees (not in the fun way) felt real too.
Another pause though this one is shorter than the last. "Do want to talk about the rest of them? That might help."
It's a movement of instinct, the way her knuckles dart up to touch and obscure her lips, her smile -- not for any unkindness on Niles' part, but for a girl she used to be, who she will always somewhat be, who had learned to think better of it. Then again, it passes just as quickly, a startlement that had never quite touched her eyes, for the girl she is now has learned to believe a little more than that.
"Yes," she agrees, softly spoken, her gaze turned toward the dock and the other canoe-goers on the water. Something in her demeanor softens there. "And... I wonder what the shore looks like from the middle of the lake, too."
Joining his efforts, they row a bit further out. Too far out, perhaps, but that's alright; competition can come later. For now the water stretches out around them, and as they stop a large swath of it surrounding them slowly settles, appearing utterly undisturbed. In this moment, it looks almost like a mirror.
But she looks away from it, watching instead how memory and word change the feeling of Niles' face. It suits him, she thinks.
"Your wife?" The echo is not one of surprise, really, but something more like curiosity, vague and far from insistent. It only offers the opportunity to speak more, if he should want it, and moves on in its quiet way. "...Routine is nice," she agrees softly. "A little bit of it has already... made my life a bit better, I think." Perhaps she could stand to add more.
"She had... a demon and sword?" She hadn't thought Fortuna had those things -- at least, not on its idyllic surface. Yet when the question turns to her, she lets a hand hang from the canoe, a fingertip lingering over water's surface without daring to touch. "I... spoke with all of them, a little bit," Katarina admits, a hush to her voice. "...But most of them, not very much. Aside from Eriella, they seemed... normal.
"But Alistair seemed normal, too." There is a softness that touches her eyes there, unabashed for him where it had not been for Eriella. "I spent the most time with him, and with..." Her eyes narrow, hold, then slack, as if forfeiting the memory. "...I don't remember anymore. But... hehe. We were looking forward to drinking colorful drinks together."
Suddenly, impulsively, a finger brushes against the clear glass surface, and the mirror shatters -- becomes a lake again.
"Alistair knew, though." Her heart squeezes slightly. "Only a little bit. Enough to know... that people would leave and forget. That he'd be alone again." Another pause, longer this time, gray eyes tracing the ripples racing outward. "He was-- is-- my friend... not because of a contest, but because... he is. I... didn't want him to be lonely."
Pulling her hand back from the water, she places it on the side of the canoe.
"...I didn't want Eriella to be lonely either, though. It wasn't the same, but..." ...but how could she confidently say she deserved the chance for atonement she pursues now, yet deny Eriella that same opportunity? They were so alike -- in some ways, she would even call Eriella her better -- and... her teammates had heard everything they said in that forest, hadn't they? Soren had revealed to her as much.
"...I don't know," she finishes weakly.
gotta rhyme something with orange
azama &forsyth &katarina | herald [@ statues]
Cart bearing statues rumbles forth, quietly, gently into the dark of the ever ongoing tunnels. Some folks use torches to see, others use magic - to each their own. For his part, Azama employs a small star that hovers about him, its soft glow lighting path enough.
It allows him not to trip over his feet ahead of himself.
It also - fortunately and unfortunately - allows him to see the faces of his nearest travel companions.
“You two have met?” he inquires after both Katarina and Forsyth. My, my… Hopefully Forsyth hasn’t been a bad influence on her. That purple head of hair there is one of his favourite ex-students, you know.
And as for that green head of hair right there... that one has yapping about the job for a solid while now, on and on about how they need to be cautious, and in case anyone forgot or got hit in the head with a rock or whatever, this job is suuuuper important, and they can’t afford to muck it up and— okay, Azama’s paraphrasing at this point. And maybe mildly exaggerating but shhhh no he's not.
Anyway, moving on:
“You do realize you are traveling mostly amongst peers here, right? Do you not think it insulting to their work that you deign play mother hen at every other bend in the road?”
Azama yawns and stretches, here, and doesn’t particularly bother hiding it. Then he smiles, catlike, head tilted askew in teasing. Or… maybe-teasing.
“Do settle down, dear.”
@viridescent-lance @ephemeralove
It's a fairly routine mission, all things considered. Forsyth and a small retinue of knights accompany a caravan as it ferries statues to the monastery, their journey through Faerghus a long and tiring affair. He can hardly fault the laypersons for wanting to take a shortcut, but surely his fellow knights would understand the dangers of taking such unwieldy cargo through unproven tunnels...!
Alas, Forsyth's advice goes unheeded. Worse than that, one of his most vocal detractors is none other than the detestable monk Azama.
"I consider Katarina to be a dear friend of mine." The gall! Is it not obvious? Forsyth should be asking the same thing, but he doesn't want to put Katarina on the spot. At least the monk has been civil thus far in his interactions with her; perhaps the most he's ever seen him, honestly. "I wasn't aware you two were so well acquainted, myself."
These tunnels have seen human use, at least, and even have rudimentary markings and torches. Forsyth just can't shake this foreboding feeling, especially not with the area's history of seismic instability.
"Do you think peers incapable of processing new and important information?" Forsyth has endeavored not to rise to Azama's provocations, especially in the presence of a mutual friend. He really has. "I simply did not--and do not--think that risking death is worth saving a day or two of travel!"
May Katarina forgive him, but his patience only stretches so far.
"A mother hen, you say? I'd rather be marked as such than behave like a father who eschews his children for his own convenience!"
@ephemeralove
She hadn't expected two people she holds so fondly to know each other, but certainly, they seem to know each other. And, well... it hardly taxes one's imagination to consider why they might disdain each other; those qualities which she shares with Forsyth are, as she has well learned, what makes them easy prey.
(--oh. Her shoulders shrink slightly, guiltily, as she slinks behind the quibbling men. She'd gotten him a gift for his mischief some time back, but surely he hadn't put it to work against her own friend...?)
"Yes!? Oh, um... y, yes..." As if on cue, her name enters the verbal battlefield between them, utterly unprepared for the stage that has been set. Part of her worries they'll ask her to pick a side -- something she has long grown a distaste for, after a litany of her own poor choices -- but they continue on without her, smiles curling with cold edges and voices rising in pitch.
The others in their party seem to pick up the pace as their rearguard turns on each other, though Katarina can hardly blame them. Though the tunnels are hardly narrow, they are by no means spacious enough to gracefully contain all the barbs being slung. Why, Forsyth's voice even seems almost to echo down the darkness.
It almost seems to...
"...huh?" There's a spike of tension down her back, anxiety wedged between the frayed nerves of a girl caught in the middle. Something isn't right; Forsyth's voice carries differently than it had just moments ago, not only because of the volume, but something else. The words feel almost as if they linger too long...
"...Ser Forsyth," Katarina murmurs, a hand placed gingerly upon his arm. It isn't her place to intervene, and the awkward pitch of her voice all but admits that, but her brows knit in worry and silent plea. "P-please hold on a moment. I think... I heard--"
It was not the words that lingered overlong, she realizes with a start, her own soft voice remaining in the tunnel. No, it was the earth, laying its protest against their angered words. Now it shudders; now it shakes the dust from itself, small chunks of dirt falling from the ceiling, right next to--
"--Professor!" Katarina shouts, but their fellows make the chorus, scrambling away from the tremors. The mage, too, lunges forward, grabbing Azama by the sleeve and yanking him back, away from the rock now spilling into the tunnel, and away from everyone else now left on the other side of it.
NEXT: @carefreemonk or @viridescent-lance
beyond memory and dream
Stowed away? His steps may not falter with the conversation, but hers do, blinking at him wide-eyed and mouth half agape like a fawn caught in lantern light.
"N-no, I..." Should she really be correcting his misunderstandings, though? The further he treads on a trail of incorrect assumption, the further he wanders from her and everyone in her shadow.
But then there's the rest of what he says -- work in the castle town. Danger on the mountain roads. If she stops and thinks, it almost sounds like he cares. Her chest and throat tighten, too-round eyes turned toward the earth with a dewy glint. It would be nice to think that he does. She wants to think so.
"...I understand," comes the weak reply, toeing the cusp of a lie. Watching him walk ahead of her, she crouches low to the ground, a finger scoring it lightly and catching dirt beneath her nail. Can she believe? Lady Eremiyah hasn't taught them much yet, but Reese is the best at letters of the few of them. Maybe... maybe if he comes back before she finishes writing, she'll try.
Slowly, she draws the letter 's'. Her heart pounds in the constricted cavern of her chest, concentration scattered with every peek at the path ahead. Next, the letter 'o'. What if he actually comes back? Does she want him to? Unsteadily, she tries to write the letter 'r', tries to believe in kindness and castle towns and a world that can forgive--
-- she can't, though. No matter how her heart squeezes, Reese doesn't believe that a castle town would be so different from a market. She doesn't believe -- not in a man who would help a filthy rat find a silver's worth of medicine, and not in a world where someone would suffer the heat of fire and and still forgive her.
A palm crashes against a half-written apology, and Reese pushes herself to her feet, running back to the familiarity of dangerous paths as fast as her feet can carry her.
WITHOUT THINKING, HE SEARCHES THE NEARBY WOODS ,⠀🗲⠀recalling how just before he'd found the men at the base of the outcrop, he'd somehow lost his way. it didn't make sense——he'd traveled this area more than dozens of times on foot, had subtle landmarks most travelers would miss committed to memory. relief buoys in his gut, lifting the heaviness he hadn't realized was there, when he finds one of them within a minute: a bent tree with a distinctive shape, short in its trunk and discernible from the others around it.
good.
that meant that as soon as he stepped a little further up the path and looked to the right at the top of the pass:
there. like a beacon, the tallest spire of the cathedral jutted out from between the canopy. a faint smile touches his expression, and he turns to hasten his way back to where he'd left the girl.
he'd searched the nearby woods without thinking, but perhaps he should have thought. arriving at the small fork in the road, he finds it empty. bewildered, wary, his first steps forward are slow and calculated. no. he swivels, heels scratching at the gravel as he checks ferns, trees, divots in the hillside. "hello??" nowhere does he find the scrap of a girl, neither waiting in hiding or in ambush. she'd gone. "damn it." steps bring him to the exact spot where he'd left her standing, and keen eyes fall to a clue: the dirt here scraped up and disturbed, scratched in shallow gullies like something had passed by, a small animal or. . . kneeling down, he brushes a hand over the markings. they're stiff and old, nothing more than little gouges hardened into the earth over time.
not her.
. . . of course, he should've expected that she'd run as soon as he turned his back. even though he'd been meaning to help, they were still strangers. bitterly, he supposed he couldn't blame her.
then none of that had been a trap. if anything, he realizes that perhaps she had had the very same thought about him, and had taken the first chance she saw as preserving her life.
so out there, the banditry would continue. and no doubt he'd hear about it again in the area: someone killed or stolen from, the culprits coming to light as a coterie of children.
if they were resourceful, he hoped he wouldn't.
┃┃┃ end
✦ —𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤.
Had he the capacity for it, Kris might have shivered in response; the point of contact between thumb and palm as gentle as it is thoughtful and more than he deserves in the moment. Everything about this is, really, and yet he cannot find it in him to hesitate after enduring so much just to return to Katarina’s side in the first place. (He’s exhausted, loath as he is to admit it to even himself, and for once he feels no great urge to move when the only thing he wants is right beside him.)
So he listens to her speak without pause on his end. He tries to picture in his mind what this other version of him must have been like, which aspects remain the same and which differ to create the distinction of ‘the Kris that Katarina knows’ and ‘the Kris that isn’t’. Was he still a knight, a swordsman? Did he seem happier, or did he keep his feelings closer to his chest?
How did he die?
It ends up a futile exercise when he’s never really been able to imagine any life for himself that isn’t the one he’s living here and now.
Instead he forgets to breathe when he feels Katarina’s hand close around his, briefly thrown back in time to that awful moment where it had been the other way around—his hands around hers for what had seemed like the first and last time, faced with the bitter reality he’d fought so hard to prevent or at least mitigate in some way. He’s never forgotten it since, or rather he refuses to; the wound allowed to fester on bad days when no amount of training feels satisfactory, when he finds himself unwilling to let Katarina out of his sight for any reason. Those times had been growing fewer and farther between though, something like healing taking place in their stead…
So much for that, huh.
“Because you’re my friend,” Kris answers quietly, speaking around the lump in his throat and the ache in his bleeding heart as though they don’t pain him at all. “The first friend I’d made as a new recruit who’d only just gotten his feet through the gates of Altea Castle. You always stood up for me when we were part of the Seventh Platoon, like when we had to decide who would be its captain.
“I think that’s why he protected you, Katarina. The other me probably felt the same way, and that feeling lingered even after he was gone.” He did what I wasn’t there to do myself.
There are very few secrets Katarina keeps from Kris; in truth, though perhaps she cannot recall any others in current circumstances, she can think of only two. The first? --well, there's no need to think on it. She will close a flame-warped palm around it until nothing remains might ever trouble him. And the second? Oh, it is a terrible thing indeed, that the thing she takes the most pride in is not being a worthy lord's knight.
"...You're my friend, too."
She might have laughed, had she the strength for it, a soft and tickled thing that dances on the amusement of stating something so obvious, the most important and least sufficient truth. Instead she watches his eyes in between beats of fretting, silently, over wounds she's already tended to.
"The first friend I made as..." She stumbles through her words in a want to reach him through them, audacious enough to attempt to mirror his own. "As..." As Katarina, she almost says, but somehow, it doesn't feel enough -- not enough to earn the forgiveness he had always afforded her, and not enough to put light back in his eyes. She was a child raised in the dark, and that was how she hurt him.
At the other end of the labyrinth. In that wild, burning forest. And... when she had placed her throat at the point of a sheathed sword and begged for death. Don't say you couldn't protect me. Aren't I the one who did this to you...?
"...as... the person I wanted to be." There is no thought of fluster or misunderstanding; she reaches for his hair and brushes it aside, a gentle touch that tries, desperately, to ease the tension in the brow beneath.
"So... don't be sorry." She begs him again, asks cruel things of him again, knowing he will bear the burden anyway; it's what he's always done. "...Don't be sorry. I can be Katarina... I, I can be me... because of you. No one..." She holds down the tears in her eyes, swallows the quiet crack in her voice; later, she can mourn the brother and sister who deserved to be protected, too. But right now, her first friend, her best friend...
"...no one has ever protected me as much as you."
So, don't be sorry.
Truth & Lies
[July mission: Secret Shop]
A shop with amazing deals, a place where the rare and unusual can be found on the shelves. It's no wonder that it's the talk of the town, perhaps only being surpassed by the upcoming festival.
So, when the rumor reaches Hugh's ears, he's off and ready to make some much needed purchases. Most comes from his desire to collect a few more tomes for his own personal use. There's also never a bad time to take note of their boots and sachels, both so easy to wear down through constant use. And above all, for a store this exclusive, Hugh will have no trouble proving that he's meant to shop here.
Or, so he thinks.
Five minutes later, and Hugh is still taking with the shopkeeper by the entrance, nervous laughter in his voice. "Come on, you really can't be serious, right? Can't you just renew it?"
The item in question is a card he's carried around for some time. Too much time, as the card has well expired past it's renewal date.
A date that voids this card, and no longer has him eligible for entry. He can't look at the books. He can't buy new boots!!
As he's pulling at straws, he spots a few folks behind him in line, and decides for now not to waste their time any longer than he has. He slinks off to the side, grumbling a few words as he considers his options - if any, that is.
Ah. He looks to the side, and spots another person there. He gives the other a sheepsih smile. "Oh sorry, are you in line? I can get out of your way."
@ephemeralove
Truth be told, she'd heard about the appearance of a secret shop much earlier than this -- it's just that she hadn't particularly felt the need to go. Something had ultimately changed her mind, however, drawing her in as one moth among many. But...
...she'd thought it was too easy to track down, and as she listens and surveys the line sprawled ahead of her, it's easy to figure out why: they're trying to draw in a bigger crowd by offering a deal for couples.
"Oh...!" Holding up a hand to the man who'd appeared beside her, Katarina shakes her head, her smile a much smaller mirror of his. "No, that's okay... Apparently the new membership deal is only for c, couples. I wouldn't be able to get in, anyway..."
Perhaps she'd been too eager to act on new inspiration if she'd missed as crucial a detail as that. Actually looking at the people around them would prove that yes, there was an unusually high concentration of duos and trios. But... gray eyes grow wider, flicking toward him with a sudden thought. He's not with anyone either, is he? And he'd just come from the front.
"E-excuse me..." She can feel the color dancing across her cheeks just thinking the words. "If you're trying to get in, too... Then, do you want to try pretending to be a, um... couple?" A fingertip presses against the side of her nose, fidgeting in a fluster. "W-we could just say that I came to meet you here, and found out you couldn't get in..."
A pause.
"...er, that was too much, wasn't it? S, sorry..."
many spoonfulls of sugar
mission board: epidemic - +1 gauntlet (making chocolate)
Men, women, children, elders, cute animals, why, the amount of people who would miss L’Arachel are quite plentiful!
Still, it makes her heart swell and her face brighten as Katarina shares how glad she is to be in L’Arachel’s company once again. Her friend is not just an ordinary person, after all!
“I feel quite the same, my dear friend.” She offers up with a smile as they move to one of the stations.
Whilst Katarina is focused on setting up the proper supplies, L’Arachel takes stock of the various spoons, taking each of them and testing how they feel as she mixes the inside of an empty bowl.
“I similarly am not as familiar with the culinary arts as I could be, but that simply means that whatever masterpieces we create, they shall be even more impressive!” She lets out a boisterous laugh.
“As for my plan, it is quite simple indeed! The master of chocolate has said that whoever receives a chocolate shall have to attend a seminar next month to make a gift in return. I shall make more chocolate than anyone has ever seen and give it out to every single person that I know! That way this month I shall have the joy of bestowing my friends with gifts, and next month I shall enjoy the gift of unlimited chocolate treats!” She looks quite pleased with herself at this plan, so much so that she misses Stefanelli clearing his throat in order to get everyone’s attention.
"...Hehe. That's right." Taking a page from L'Arachel's book, Katarina picks up one of the bowls at their disposal, the echo of a smile lingering on her face as she examines it. "All of our hard work... will shine through."
A knuckle pressed to her lips, she stifles a good-natured laugh, her head turned at an angle as she watches judgement get passed down to their utensils. One ear bends toward Stefanelli, and the other toward her friend; she had always been too indulgent, after all. Besides, she wants to hear the plan she's so proud of.
It turns out to be a good one -- one very much like L'Arachel, as Katarina knows her. It is no small effort she's handed herself, but it's still a worthy one. All the joy she is set to reap is simply the yield of every field she herself has planted.
"You will see a written list of instructions to follow along to," Stefanelli continues elsewhere, "Should you need to review them. I shall be making chocolates alongside you all as demonstration, so if you require any help, call upon one of the aides to the right or left. Keep in mind this is a simplified version of the process..."
As the chocolatier himself rattles off directions, the mage from Altea follows suit, doing her best to set up what he calls a 'double boiler' over the stovetop. Already, it's something more complex than anything she's tried before, but at least it's a bit easier to simply set up the equipment... More importantly, she turns that small smile of hers upon L'Arachel, whispering now.
"That's a good plan. ...Should I give you yours in advance, then?" She teases, but it's still an earnest question. "I know you're already here... so you won't have to wait a month for mine." Her eyes soften. "...I'd hate for you to have to wait so long to try any."
{ ooc: wanted plots
hello hello!! this month i'm not looking for a whole lot, but i had a few ideas!
MARIA
handholding: she's a model student! my thought is that she'll be surprisingly down for whatever adventures her handholding partner gets into, although generally speaking, she still won't do anything morally objectionable / at the expense of another. maybe you're surprised by her willingness to get into mischief?
KATARINA ...is unaffiliated and open to new threads!
handholding: she's a rule-abiding student who graduated into a rule-abiding knight! on paper she's a pretty good pick, but maybe your muse thinks they lucked out since she kind of looks like a pushover HAHA but she'll dig her heels in if she has to!
authority +1: katarina winds up being one of the ones to get an invite, and while she doesn't want to go, she's also not going to just let someone take it! my thought is that maybe your muse tries to steal the invitation from her, but it turns out to be a lot harder than they thought. i'd also like it if the ticket went to someone who patiently asked for it in the end! whether this winds up being your muse or a third person who shows up at the end (this would be really funny to me HAHHDSHFSD), whatever works for me!
WOLF
handholding: a bit different this time! i'm thinking that somehow, the one issuing the punishment mistook him for the person to be paired with the model student/faculty. they didn't believe him when he said he wasn't (nice try buddy) and now he's stuck like this. he kind of doesn't even work here officially and he's pissed about it HAHA i'm thinking this could possibly be a three person thread, where he hunts down the schmuck who weaseled out of this (the third person being the schmuck of course HAHA (afectionate!!!)). if we want to get silly with it, we can have the third person start in an undisclosed location in the monastery and play hide and seek hunt them for sport!
please feel free to message me if you'd like to thread together! IMs here (tumblr, @princessmacedon is fasted) or DMs on discord preferred!
It’s early enough that the sun hasn’t crept over the horizon yet when Kris exits his quarters, a box tucked under one arm and something like nerves simmering beneath his skin at the prospect of finally, finally delivering it to its intended recipient instead of having it continue to burn a hole amidst his belongings. He knows it hardly even begins to repay her for everything she’s done for him, everything she’s given him; the small collection of trinkets quietly gathered over the span of months could never compare to years of being so clearly cherished it almost hurts.
But just as she never seemed to settle for just one gift each time she came to wish him a happy birthday, neither could he for hers as the date drew nearer. Better to just bundle them all together and hope she likes them, he’d thought, and yet—
Kris squares his shoulders and gusts an exhale through his nose. No turning back now when he’s already standing in front of Katarina’s door, shifting his hold on the box so it rests snugly in both hands as he waits. He’ll give it to her when she emerges, wish her well, and then leave for the training grounds. Simple and straightforward.
“Good morning,” he starts easily enough, mouth curving upward at the corners. “This is for you. Happy birthday, Katarina.”
Inside are, perhaps startlingly so, items whose value appears to be almost strictly sentimental. Most prominent is a stuffed animal in the shape of a fox, easily taking up close to half of the box’s interior alone; soft to the touch and adorned with a scarf tied around its neck to match its new owner. A pair of drawstring pouches follow suit, the larger one filled with…board game pieces? Three horsemen and two infantry, to be precise, carved from wood and painted in familiar hues of blue, green, and red. He’d thought about making more, truth be told, before thinking better of it; certain in his belief that she would recognize the significance of just those five as though it was their little secret.
The smaller pouch is where the pattern seems to deviate. Hanging from the thin silver chain inside it is a pendant inlaid with a purple gemstone, clearly meant to be worn around the neck. That was the one he’d been most unsure about, having never really seen her wear jewelry before, but to withhold it any longer than he already has is surely a disservice to the knight who’d taken the time to craft it for his sake.
(And at the very bottom of the box, even smaller than the rest as to nearly be missed altogether? A single satchel of spirit dust.)
“…I figured I’d come by first thing, before we have to go about the day like usual. There’s a pastry shop in the monastery town we can visit later too—if you want to go, I mean. It’ll be my treat.”
The sky has only just begun to run its fingers through the sun's many paints when Katarina peeks her head through the door. There's only one person who would visit her this early in the morning, and the dawn frames him quite nicely. It's still a darkness more his fashion and many cool tones more his wont, but all of this much gentler and less impermeable than the worries nursed inside her heart. When had she started paying so much attention to color?
"Kris," she answers with a smile, small in form yet far in reach, gray eyes lit up like sunrise; his name always comes first. "Good morning."
Surprise arrives in the form of a box, pulled from its place beneath his arm and handed to her. Both hands reach out to take it, the scarred palm gliding over top of it, almost reverent in how it smooths the cover; she blinks many times in quiet awe before he calls her, as ever, back to her senses.
--later she will open the box with utmost care and marvel at its well of sentiment. And her first thought will be to wonder: has she read him wrong all these years? Every birthday she had striven to give him things most practical -- things that would warrant the space they occupied. What sentiment she herself slipped in was tiny, placed precisely, like a wedge beneath a door to stop it from shutting forever. Remember Altea, the liege that we love -- remember the places and people that love you back.
Perhaps this year she ought to take a different approach... the thought escapes her as she lifts the fox from its burrow, its scarf tied into a familiar bow. Is this... her? And it's so soft, too... The questions, the things it is that she isn't -- she holds it close and presses them into its fur, one arm devoted to hugging it to her chest even as she moves on to opening the rest.
Later, small wood carvings tumble out: horsemen and infantry, blue, green, and red. Of course she recognizes them -- how could she not? She loves them, worries about them, thinks about them more than they could ever know. Thus it is with gentle-hearted purpose that she lays them out upon her desk, two of the cavaliers placed in the back together (always together, despite clamor and chagrin); she is not certain of forgiveness nor does she dare to ask of it, so she leaves them at the least repulsive distance she can afford them.
Slightly closer (or caught in the middle, some might say), the green infantry sits as if always moving between them, less sure, but more hopeful. Closest of all are the red horseman and of course -- of course -- the blue infantry, too lenient with her by far. Yet for their generosity she knows better than to doubt them -- knows well enough to hold them close and cherish them, with everything she has.
All of them, of course, on the side of her non-dominant hand; she would be loath to knock them over, though the fox finds its new home on the opposite end.
Later she will open the satchel and gasp, cinching it shut again straight away, as if caution and startlement might somehow change its contents. A second, slower peek will prove to her that no, they do not. This single gift is more expensive (in gold, in effort paid for equivalent reward) than anything she owns. And she cinches it shut again, this time as if doing so might un-spend them. (It doesn't.) (But who else would it be for? Certainly not Kris -- a finer sword you'd never see, but she'd never seen so much as a snowflake or flame.)
It feels tremendous somehow. Not in its cost, but in the worth it attests to -- the coin, the effort, the blood and burns and scars, the heat of an old spell prickling under flame-warped skin -- and still, she is not broken junk to him. Not to Kris. Not ever.
Later, she will pour a beautiful necklace into her palm, unsure of when the tears threatening her eyes had finally spilled over, and blink more down her cheeks in wonder. Yet it is not their warmth that turns her face red; maybe it is the light that plays off of the gemstone, or that awkward sincerity she sees tucked away within.
Later she will wear it on her neck instead of a scarf too warm for summer, and silently blame the heat for the color of her cheeks. And her hand will return to it, again and again, fingertips pressed sidewise against her collar to spare it even the tenderest, most precious touch. (It would be a shame to get pastry crumbs on it, after all.)
Later, later, later, but for now, she hugs his gift close, her eyes already turned back toward Kris and the day beginning behind him.
"--yes? --yes!" She tucks her chin a bit at that, made shy of her own enthusiasm. "I mean... I'd like that. I want to go." I'd go anywhere with you.
"...But don't let me keep you." A laugh pressed against her knuckles, wrapped within a knowing smile. "Today's training is about to begin."
The candles had surrendered their colors. The darkness softened the ballroom into something gentler than it had any right to be. The glittering gowns and polished jewels had become little more than silhouettes moving through silver-gray shadow. Yet Nanna found she minded it less than she thought she would. Some things became easier when stripped of spectacle. The warmth of Katarina's hand. The quiet squeeze of her fingers. The sound of her laughter. Those remained, untouched by the dark.
And oh, how precious that laughter was.
"...I suppose they do sound different," Nanna answered softly, their joined hands lifting as she guided them through another turn. "…especially because it is you."
The words lingered with her. Bravery. Fear. She remembered the girl she had first met on a mission for Garreg Mach, and a dozen small moments (tinged with ginger rinds and melted sugar) between then and now unfolded in her memory. Katarina standing at the edge of a crowd calling for a false king to stand down. Katarina doused in rich silks, like a home with curtains pulled to rest. There had always been courage there, Nanna thought— the kind that bit down with jagged teeth and a flames blooming from her fingers. The kind that lifted hands to help the hopeless and the ones who prayed into the dark. The kind that chose, over and over, to keep opening a wounded heart to the world.
A swell rose unexpectedly in her throat.
"Hehe..." The laugh escaped her before she could stop it. "Can I be honest, Katarina? When the petals off my veil came apart during the masquerade last ball," (like tears splitting between glass— he loves me, he loves me not) "—my heart had already dropped enough. I did not even mind that someone had discovered me in my…"
"…lonesome."
It sounded strange once spoken aloud, but Nanna could find no better way to explain it. Does heartbreak mean more when you come apart in the arms of someone you trust? "But I had already decided," (with the spell unbound, green glowed through the veil—bitter! bitter! that she was to change, with or without h—) "…there was nothing left to lose." The music carried them onward, skirts brushing the floor in wide circles as they moved through the sea of shadows. Somewhere nearby, another couple missed a step and dissolved into laughter. Here, Nanna's gaze remained fixed upon the orchid tucked behind Katarina's ear.
Their hands drifted downward again, fingers still entwined.
"You had seen me," at my worst, she meant to add. "—and roses over my eyes meant nothing anymore."
The next turn drew them briefly closer together. Close enough for Nanna to see the shine in Katarina's eyes even beneath the dim light. "You have done well for yourself. What is there to be afraid of?"
"I think your heart has simply found too many beautiful things to abandon." Her thumb brushed gently across Katarina's hand. "People you love. People who love you. A light at the end of the tunnel worth walking toward."
For a moment, Nanna could only smile.
Then, with all the tenderness of a secret offered freely, she laughed again and tipped her forehead lightly against Katarina's.
"For what it is worth..." The words came warm, the colorless shroud hanging over them. "The girl who can dance in the dark seems terribly difficult to worry about these days. She even has a friend with blue hair and too many scars." My friend, Katarina had stated— belonging to her. And Nanna repeated quietly, since not even the dark could stop them: "What is there to be afraid of?"
"Of course," the girl dancing in the dark answers, simply, softly, sincerely. She herself had been something worse than a liar once; she herself had been a lie, and though in her undeservedly great fortune she had seen Reese become Katarina, she would not wish for others to hide themselves away like that. "Always."
Lonesome. The word rings louder than any note, any measure in a song. Part of her wonders: had she seen well enough? You are so much more than any garden, her heart murmurs, as ardent in its love as it is uncertain of itself. More than roses, more than thorns. But she has not the words. What she has instead are eyes to see the petals fall, and ears to hear their song. What she has is a warmth that alights gently upon her forehead, and a hand in hers more precious than she could ever say.
Deep inside her chest, a little bit more of that nameless something cracks and falls away, and it leaves more room in her lungs for air. The part of her that remembers what it was lets slip a few scattered tears -- tiny things that cling to her lashes with a tremor, but without pain.
"So many things," she answers breathlessly, but the tears roll down her cheeks, pushed forward by the creases of eyes caught in a smile. And she laughs! She laughs alongside her, squeezing Nanna's fingertips once more. "I'm afraid that he'll wrap his wounds carelessly. I'm afraid that she'll be lonely. I'm afraid that you'll miss breakfast one day and go hungry." I'm afraid that he no longer sees the value in himself. I'm afraid that their graves will be lost or destroyed. And I'm afraid that you...
"I'm afraid of so many things. But... now, I'm not afraid of the fear."
Gray eyes open again, their tears left unhidden. What is there to be ashamed of? What is there to be afraid of? Many things, and yet nothing at all. Perhaps it was not fulfillment in the way it was intended, but couldn't it be enough, like this? To fear was to worry, and yet -- to love was to worry, too. The difference is in the size of it, the shape of it, the warmth so precious to her heart.
"I admire you, Nanna. You're so brave it takes my breath away." They rise with the music, skirts brushing wind trails across the floor. This time it is Katarina who returns to Nanna, who presses a forehead to hers and holds her hand tight. "And... I can lead, too, if you need me to. If you get tired." There is no need to bear the burden of leading all the time, is there? Was it ever too much, giving new words to the weary? Striding toward a necessary change, unsure if she was going alone?
"Can I ask you a question, Nanna?" Softly spoken, steps woven in circular rhythms. It's isn't what I am not, but what I can do for you. "Last year, you took my pledge. You said you would lead us both through. But..." Gray greets blue, and that meeting is gentle; there is nothing to be afraid of. "...was there enough room in that pledge for you, too?
"...I can lead if you need me to," she reminds her, gently. "If you want, we can... revise it." A quiet laugh, one piece of a chord. "A pledge, a promise... living. Anything." You've done so much for me. I'd do anything for you.
"Happy birthday, Miss Katarina!"
The tight bouquet of flowers is a token gesture - when in Fodlan, and all. They are a medley of blooms in bright yellows, perhaps intended as a contrast to her hair, but it'd be a mistake to ask if the monk had any sense about contrasts in colours or art. To him, it had simply felt... right.
He isn't much of a material man. He's kept gifts, but otherwise, Azama keeps his own environs sparse, easy to pack up and take off if the need for a pilgrimmage should strike him.
Birthdays always seemed a fickle thing. Here one day, gone the next, same as any old number on the calendar. Congratulations on surviving another year! Congratulations on creeping ever closer to your inevitable end as a powerless mortal human on this ill-fated plane of existence.
He struggles to see the meaning in it.
But there must be something to it, he is beginning to suspect.
"Ahem. A little birdie told me."
After all, it can't have been on a mere whim that one of his favourite students had bothered to remember and celebrate him any, and more than once, at that. (Or can it?)
The parcel that follows is wrapped and folded in plain burlap. Within, a pouch on a cord, an amulet of protection blessed by yours truly. It isn't much of anything fashionable, alas, but there should be no doubting its intended purpose.
"For your new post as a knight..." Lips press into a thin smile. "Stay safe."
She would not have thought the bouquet was for her, had he not greeted her by name. Even on their own, flowers are such beautiful things -- the life that seeps through the cracks, that brings color to wastelands and hope to the world-worn. No matter what their color, they will never suit her; it is just that yellow in particular feels far brighter than her.
"Oh... th, thank you..." Still, Katarina accepts them despite feeling dwarfed by their light. After all, though she would never claim to be worthy of them, that does not mean she holds no affection for them, either. Once, she was a child who looked for the greenery peeking between stones; once, she was the world-worn traitor who saw gentle blooms in an ugly world and thought that maybe it could be more.
As for the professor--
--not a professor to her anymore, and yet always her professor --
--she suspects that maybe he'd picked the color on a whim. It would be very like him, she thinks, and yet if someone were to tell her it was not like him at all, she would not be so surprised either. Like the bleached hue of something always turned toward the sun, or the bright side of the moon, she suspects at times that his blasé demeanor is only the side of him turned toward others the most often.
Her eyes soften, the corners of her mouth pulled into a faint smile.
"...thank you, Professor." Take his gift, for example -- wrapped plainly, but securely. Once she might have expected him to prepare something much more outlandish, yet now she thinks it suits him unexpectedly well.
If something is to take her by surprise, it is the wish. Gray eyes blink owlishly at him before creasing into a silent laugh. That's right, she'd never really talked about it before, had she?
"I will," she promises, arms crossing low to hold the gifts close to her. "...It's not my first post as a knight. There's somewhere I have to return to, once I'm done here..." And beneath her quiet smile, a conviction -- a promise to herself, to her liege, and now to the small wish Azama makes to her: "So... no matter what, I'll make it back one day."
beyond memory and dream
STEPS ALMOST STOP SHORT WHEN SHE WHISPERS THE NAME.⠀🗲⠀knorda? where was that? it doesn't sound even sound like a place on the continent, and coupled with the observations about her appearance and accents, confirms that she has to be from overseas. "so you stowed away," he concludes, turning to glance at her again as they walk. a huff, almost impressed. it wouldn't be the first time, but he wonders what it is about fódlan that brings others in these numbers.
"and you're alone. or perhaps your siblings came with you." how else did she plan to send the medicine back to her brother? urchins like them deserved to do better than pawning in the dust for scraps, taking requests to murder travelers for money. not that they couldn't be dangerous——he'd been taught to hold a blade before he could walk——but no kid that young knew the weight of taking a life. they hardly even knew what they were doing. "there's work to be found in the castle town, if you look. you won't need to wander the roads on the mountain. it's too dangerous."
and it'd save people like him the trouble too, of needing to clean up after would-be assassins who turned out to just be some kid.
speaking of the castle town, he still can't see the cathedral spires. bewildered, he pauses finally, crunching underfoot coming to a standstill. "wait. stay here and don't move. i'm going to search the area and make sure we're going the right way." it'd only be a quick look, and he wouldn't go far.
Stowed away? His steps may not falter with the conversation, but hers do, blinking at him wide-eyed and mouth half agape like a fawn caught in lantern light.
"N-no, I..." Should she really be correcting his misunderstandings, though? The further he treads on a trail of incorrect assumption, the further he wanders from her and everyone in her shadow.
But then there's the rest of what he says -- work in the castle town. Danger on the mountain roads. If she stops and thinks, it almost sounds like he cares. Her chest and throat tighten, too-round eyes turned toward the earth with a dewy glint. It would be nice to think that he does. She wants to think so.
"...I understand," comes the weak reply, toeing the cusp of a lie. Watching him walk ahead of her, she crouches low to the ground, a finger scoring it lightly and catching dirt beneath her nail. Can she believe? Lady Eremiyah hasn't taught them much yet, but Reese is the best at letters of the few of them. Maybe... maybe if he comes back before she finishes writing, she'll try.
Slowly, she draws the letter 's'. Her heart pounds in the constricted cavern of her chest, concentration scattered with every peek at the path ahead. Next, the letter 'o'. What if he actually comes back? Does she want him to? Unsteadily, she tries to write the letter 'r', tries to believe in kindness and castle towns and a world that can forgive--
-- she can't, though. No matter how her heart squeezes, Reese doesn't believe that a castle town would be so different from a market. She doesn't believe -- not in a man who would help a filthy rat find a silver's worth of medicine, and not in a world where someone would suffer the heat of fire and and still forgive her.
A palm crashes against a half-written apology, and Reese pushes herself to her feet, running back to the familiarity of dangerous paths as fast as her feet can carry her.