no one looks dumber than a guy who calls a girl ugly after he was just hitting on her

titsay
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER

@theartofmadeline
noise dept.
cherry valley forever
NASA

tannertan36
occasionally subtle
taylor price

blake kathryn
One Nice Bug Per Day
đȘŒ

â
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Today's Document

#extradirty

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Mike Driver
todays bird
seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States

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seen from T1

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@epicdemik
no one looks dumber than a guy who calls a girl ugly after he was just hitting on her
Glad to know that Alexaâs so forgivingÂ
I hate the word âdiscourseâ it just sounds like Goofy saying âdiscussâ
this post literally ruined my life
*opens a new incognito tab to ask a really dumb question that i donât want in my search history*
âis stuart little a real personâÂ
America's Next Top Model Logic
Tyra: âThe judges see this beautiful girl..but she canât translate that in her photos.â
Model: âI know but I broke my leg and fractured my skuââ
Tyra: *shakes head* remember that photo shoot I did? I was chased by a fire breathing dragon the day before and got hit by an eighteen wheeler and I STILL looked fierce.â đ
My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me âdonât worry, itâs getting betterâ in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.
âWhy are you American?â I asked, to which I got:
âSorry, itâs getting betterâ in a stereotypical posh English accent.
âWhy are you English?â I asked, amused.
âWhat is he normally?â He managed to ask.
âHe? Youâre not anyone else, youâre you.â
âUgh, meâ was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.
Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents
:)
I should've chosen track & field as my career goal based on how fast I run away from my feelings.
sorry iâm late, professor. iâm disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
sorry iâm late, class. iâm disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis. no I havenât graded the midterms
me: *reads wrong zodiac* me as- oh fuck
me: *reads correct zodiac* me as hell
ok but hear me out, quidditch games in the middle of the night
all students praying mcgonagall wont find them out
begging hermione to be the judge of the game
the students playing IN THEIR PJâS
all houses playing together itâs a mess
draco complaining about everything but begrudgingly having the time of his lifeÂ
âmalfoy honestly you are gonna slip off that broom in those silk pjâsâ
slytherins and hufflepuffs vs gryffindors and ravenclaws
they do it almost every friday night
hagrid watches every single game and cheers for everyone equally
the house elves all know and prepare them a feast of junk food after every game
they have sleepovers at each otherâs common rooms after the game because they are too exhausted to go to their own
âcan we crash in the slytherin dorm todayâ
house unity AT ITS FINEST no one gives a fuck
they are all tired af but no one wants to go to sleep so SLEEPOVERS
everyone having extra mattresses under their beds for these occasions
the paintings helping them sneak out by warning them if thereâs a teacher coming or not
THE TEACHERS NEVER FINDING OUT (actually they all know they just pretend they donât)
FINALLY! A Harry Potter universe headcanon that isnât sad
am i having a stroke
I thought this was funnier than I should have