You're cute

Garlic bread, amiright???

[bewiubciueniocneoiheroihreoerfn]

no one looks dumber than a guy who calls a girl ugly after he was just hitting on her

[thewaltdisneygifs]

[arandomthot]

Glad to know that Alexa’s so forgiving 

[girlidiotdotcom-deactivated2023]

I hate the word “discourse” it just sounds like Goofy saying “discuss”

[yyyyyyyyyyyyy6-deactivated20201]

this post literally ruined my life

[lukesdiner]

[unclefather]

*opens a new incognito tab to ask a really dumb question that i don’t want in my search history*

[unclefather]

“is stuart little a real person” 

[loren-siovahn-deactivated201812]

America's Next Top Model Logic

Tyra: “The judges see this beautiful girl..but she can’t translate that in her photos.”

Model: “I know but I broke my leg and fractured my sku—”

Tyra: *shakes head* remember that photo shoot I did? I was chased by a fire breathing dragon the day before and got hit by an eighteen wheeler and I STILL looked fierce.” 😒

[geekandmisandry]

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

[neverblogidly]

Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents

[epicdemik]

:)

I should've chosen track & field as my career goal based on how fast I run away from my feelings.

[bloochikin]

[memorijal]

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

[birdrhetorics]

sorry i’m late, class. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis. no I haven’t graded the midterms

[epicdemik]

me: *reads wrong zodiac* me as- oh fuck

me: *reads correct zodiac* me as hell

[murphycooper-deactivated2017072]

ok but hear me out, quidditch games in the middle of the night

all students praying mcgonagall wont find them out

begging hermione to be the judge of the game

the students playing IN THEIR PJ’S

all houses playing together it’s a mess

draco complaining about everything but begrudgingly having the time of his life 

“malfoy honestly you are gonna slip off that broom in those silk pj’s”

slytherins and hufflepuffs vs gryffindors and ravenclaws

they do it almost every friday night

hagrid watches every single game and cheers for everyone equally

the house elves all know and prepare them a feast of junk food after every game

they have sleepovers at each other’s common rooms after the game because they are too exhausted to go to their own

“can we crash in the slytherin dorm today”

house unity AT ITS FINEST no one gives a fuck

they are all tired af but no one wants to go to sleep so SLEEPOVERS

everyone having extra mattresses under their beds for these occasions

the paintings helping them sneak out by warning them if there’s a teacher coming or not

THE TEACHERS NEVER FINDING OUT (actually they all know they just pretend they don’t)

[potions-and-potters]

FINALLY! A Harry Potter universe headcanon that isn’t sad

[simpsons-without-context]

[inspirement]

[bandtshirt]

[ottermatopoeia]

am i having a stroke

[homophobic-slur]

[thatoneblog89-deactivated202406]

I thought this was funnier than I should have