[episkeyy]

I get people are interested and curious and well-intentioned, but the incessant question about ‘what’s next’ are not helping my existential/quarter life crisis. Like, I’m stressed enough - I don’t need your withering stares or condescension. No, I don’t know what I’m ‘doing with my life.’ Yes, you’re making it worse. 

I defended TWO WEEKS AGO and had major surgery the next day. Give. Me. Time.

[episkeyy]

I just remembered why I don’t go on twitter. So. Many. Trolls. 

I’m up for a discussion; I’m not up for inflammatory remarks or arguments.

Also, why were all the trolls male?! Like am I not allowed to have an opinion on war (which I am opposed to) or history? UGH.

On the flip side, now that I have ‘haters’ I feel like I have made it on the internet.

[episkeyy]

I’ve been thinking about my anxiety a lot recently and alongside these self-reflections I’ve experienced a few flashbacks to memories I’ve clearly repressed.

Today walking back from the bus I randomly remembered something from Grade 7. I only had two friends because my anxiety was so crippling that I didn’t understand (nor could I) interact with other kids - although at the time, everyone just thought I was incredibly shy despite being very boisterous with my family and loved ones. Anyway, one of the girls turned the other against me and decided she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. To try and sort things out, her mom decided it would be a good plan to write down a list of things we disliked about each other. I just remember sitting in my room bawling because I didn’t understand why nobody wanted to be my friend. And my list ended up having two items and she didn’t even have a chance to read her whole laundry list to me because it was so long.

I barely held back the tears until I got home. I just felt so sad for my younger self and for every kid who who bullied or had a hard time making friends. There really needs to be a more effective way of diagnosing, treating, and dealing with anxiety - especially at schools. My teachers were pretty unhelpful because they just thought I was shy, so they would force me into situations I was deeply uncomfortable with which only made my anxiety worse. It’s not a “suck it up and do it” type thing. And because I didn’t understand why I was the way I was, it significantly impacted the development of my interpersonal skills. I didn’t know how to be a proper friend until university and even then I wasn’t the greatest. To this day I doubt myself, my interpersonal skills, and my friendships.

This has been a thoroughly unorganized thought-vomit. I don’t think I can edit it; I just wanted to get it out.

[dragon-pulse]

Pokémon Red & Blue

[pomeranian2]

[yuchai]

Lucy likes strawberries a little bit (p.s. I took her out of her soak right before this, not pee) #tortoise

[princeowl-deactivated20150410]

the worst thing you can say to someone is ‘you’re too sensitive’ because that’s basically saying ‘you feel things more deeply and fully than i do and this inconveniences me because now i have to be more mindful of my own actions’ 

you’re not too sensitive, the world is just callous and stubborn. sensitivity doesn’t make you weak and callousness doesn’t make you strong. 

[episkeyy]

And when people tell me to "don't take [blank] so seriously," even if it's meant to be comforting

no

this is how i feel and i will feel it

[bessibel]

*whines* but grounding my decisions in research and theory is hard

evidence-based practice is a flawed concept anyway, my other professor said so

can’t I just arbitrarily do what I want

no?

hmph.

*plods back to library databases*

[episkeyy]

I just laugh-cried at this, as I'm in the midst of writing a 30-page evidence based paper. Because history.

[getfawked120-deactivated2023053]

tru

[episkeyy]

Okay, I keep seeing this criticism and wanted to clear things up for people who clearly didn't watch it:

Yes, this video is problematic. But at least criticize it after actually watching it or at least researching it more?

[befitzgeraldwriting]

I swear to every heaven ever imagined, if I hear one more dead-eyed hipster tell me that art is dead, I will personally summon Shakespeare from the grave so he can tell them every reason why he wishes he were born in a time where he could have a damn Gmail account. The day after I taught my mother how to send pictures over Iphone she texted me a blurry image of our cocker spaniel ten times in a row. Don’t you dare try to tell me that that is not beautiful. But whatever, go ahead and choose to stay in your backwards-hoping-all-inclusive club while the rest of us fall in love over Skype. Send angry letters to state representatives, as we record the years first sunrise so we can remember what beginning feels like when we are inches away from the trigger. Lock yourself away in your Antoinette castle while eat cake and tweet to the whole universe that we did. Hashtag you’re a pretentious ass hole. Van Gogh would have taken 20 selflies a day. Sylvia Plath would have texted her lovers nothing but heart eyed emojis when she ran out of words. Andy Warhol would have had the worlds weirdest Vine account, and we all would have checked it every morning while we Snap Chat our coffee orders to the people we wish were pressed against our lips instead of lattes. This life is spilling over with 85 year olds rewatching JFK’s assassination and 7 year olds teaching themselves guitar over Youtube videos. Never again do I have to be afraid of forgetting what my fathers voice sounds like. No longer must we sneak into our families phonebook to look up an eating disorder hotline for our best friend. No more must I wonder what people in Australia sound like or how grasshoppers procreate. I will gleefully continue to take pictures of tulips in public parks on my cellphone and you will continue to scoff and that is okay. But I hope, I pray, that one day you will realize how blessed you are to be alive in a moment where you can google search how to say I love you in 164 different languages.

b.e.fitzgerald (Art is a Facebook status about your winter break.)

This.

(via byrdiegrey)

[cindersinrags]

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Some of you may have wandered into Shondaland thinking that they were going to break new ground, it was going to be a new and exciting type of show. Beautiful Kerry Washington in the lead! Heretofore washed-up-90s-film-star but still-very-handsome-white-guy-with-great-hair as her co-star! Smart woman in charge! Political intrigue! “Color-blind” casting! But then, sadly, we see that the one hallmark of our beloved Shonda is her ability to rip defeat from the jaws of victory. I have seen this movie before (GA) and I have suffered the slings and arrows of remaining with it. Seasons 3.5 to 5 were dark days indeed. Part of what cratered GA in those days was an inability to let her lead grow and change, to mature. To remain a petulant, selfish young woman in the face of an unusual and (at first) all-consuming love. I’ve read that it wasn’t until Rhimes had the chance to re-watch the early seasons during the writers’ strike of S5 before she realized what she had wrought. We will have no such luxury with Scandal. Though maybe someone can convince her to watch those first roughly 20 episodes, to understand again why we were attracted to Fitz, to Olivia, even to Huck and Quinn, to see that they had, at one time, admirable attributes despite some questionable actions. The characters she has drawn are now merely CARICATURES of human beings. There is not one believable flesh-and-blood character left in this lot. Not to mention the B613 nonsense has no logical conclusion because it was over-the-top insanity from the start. That said, I don’t have the time nor the inclination to point out the obvious failings of this particular episode, but I will go on record that I needed a Silkwood-bath after nearly watching that Quinn/Huck (Quick?) sex. That was an abomination.

Commenter over at The Vulture recap of Scandal, Flesh and Blood, episode 317.

[episkeyy]

people who are unnecessarily rude when I ask for things that are part of their job?? like, i get people have bad days, but it's hard enough for me to call or talk to someone in-person, it would be nice if they could just be civil?!

the other day i was returning books i had taken out under the reciprocal borrowing program (so they were books from a different university, but you can return them to any participating university) and the man at the desk snapped angrily at me because i was creating extra work like he personally has to courier them, which i highly highly doubt

then today i called my doctors because they hadn't responded to my pharmacy's fax requesting a refill for my daily meds (that I NEED refilled by tomorrow) and the women acted like i was the most burdensome person in the world and gave me a mini-lecture about being busy, and all i asked was the status of the request (very politely?!?)

ughhhhhhhhh

[-scotty-deactivated20120925]

[episkeyy]

"Perhaps the most charming and memorable heterosexual 'moment'.."

I love snarky women in academia. 

[wintersportseq]

Standing ovation for James Reimer upon coming in in relief for an injured Jonathan Bernier.

[akissuponmyshoulder]

"you must know… surely, you must know it was all for you."

[frenchmystake]