s u p e r n o v a

Erika: 22, navigating the world with four eyes.

[erikacruised]

Two years and more to come

Let me start by saying I’ve never actually reached a milestone like this with anyone, so I really think we’re on to something lasting here. Right? :)

Two years is both a long and a short span of time. Long, because we've been through a lot of things, i.e., our early months when we still had to keep our relationship a secret from my family (which feels as if it never happened now), all the laughs we've shared, the fights and cold shoulders we've struggled through, all the mindless eating, the cuddling, holding hands, errands that turn into dates, days of missing each other during exams. It's also short because we didn't really realize how fast time went by. As you told me when we were enjoying ourselves during Ma'am Minah's wedding, "Time really is fast when you're with someone you enjoy being with."

For our 2nd year, I've got absolutely no idea what to say except that I love you even more every day. It's a daily fact, and every day there's this feeling in my chest that just constantly beats your name. I love you for every day we get to be together, and I love you even more on days when we can't. I love you even on days when I get really moody and I start displaying an attitude (trust me, I do). I love you even more when you do your best to make me smile during my tantrums. I realize how much I love you every time I get to gaze at you while you're asleep in my arms. I love you for every forehead kiss, pull-me-closer hugs, and automatic holding hands. I love you for the quiet moments, the times we don't have to talk, the times when we just enjoy each other's presence. I love you for your  patience, for your commitment, for the reciprocated love.

Of all these reasons, our fights are what I  hate the most. But it's also through these that we learn how to love better. During one of our low moments, I stumbled upon a quote that made me realize how much willing I am to live life with you no matter what. Also it made me cry so hard I don't even wanna remember it to be honest =)))

"Love most when you least understand."

I realized it's what you've been doing every time I start a fight. And I thank you for that. Thank you for always choosing me, for always forgiving me when I come running to you to say sorry. I love you even more because you always choose to love me when I'm the worst, when I'm hard to forgive, when I'm hard to love.

And I promise to do the same to you, always.

Happy 2nd anniversary! Is it redundant if I say I love you one more time?

[erikacruised]

A Recap of my 7-month Hiatus

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged since November!

Half of 2017 has come and gone and I haven’t been able to document anything significant that has happened. If not for Julius reminding me that I haven’t blogged for some time (and that I consequently stopped writing cheesy posts for him lol), I wouldn’t be here trying to remember the major events that took place from December to May...

DECEMBER. Big month! The holiday rush is upon us all. Juls and I attended our first wedding together. I can’t put it into words, but there’s something about holding the one you love while watching someone else get married... a hopeful feeling, I guess? Hope that in the near future, you’ll be the ones in front of that altar during the best day of the rest of your lives. Yeah, I think that’s it. :)

Also for the first time, I had a boyfriend at home for Christmas YAY! That might just be the best present I’ve received in my 21 Christmases (the 2nd best is Timmy...which I believe deserves a separate post). It was also the first Christmas that I was able to give gifts to the family, which felt infinitely better than when you’re on the receiving end. December was goooood.

JANUARY. The month when I tried to get my shit together, just like what everybody else does when it’s a new year. I said I’d read more books, watch more films, venture into more hobbies, save more money, eat healthier food--all of which I stopped doing by the 3rd week or so. Not much happened either, just start of the year buzz.

FEBRUARY. Love month! Celebrated Valentine’s Day the best way we know how: we ate at a buffet!

We’re savages in buffets.

We also spontaneously watched a movie and had a well-deserved body massage. I wonder how we’re gonna top this next year? :)

MARCH. I was hustling on the sidelines this month! My nights and weekends were occupied with various thesis papers to be edited. I did around 10 papers, I think.. I don’t even remember where my earnings from this side-job went. Probably food. Oh and my boss gave me a TV and I discovered the joys of Netflix on a bigger screen.

APRIL. Juls and I got new specs this month! We also watched 5 new movies in the cinema. Looking back on my planner, we actually went on a lot of dates during April. How I wish it was always April...

MAY. Birth month! Went to a beach trip with family and Julius for the birthdays in the family. That was my only summer trip as it was a busy month at work. We also celebrated our second anniversary this month!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! This one deserves a separate post <3

And now it’s June. I can’t wait to see how the rest of the year unfolds!

[willow]

i have a big forehead and it’s filled with loving thoughts 

[feministbucky-deactivated201705]

Sherlock: *gives a genuine smile* Me: sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

[trechos-of-books]

[lightinthebox]

[rosewater1997]

me drinking green tea: this is gonna fix Everything

[thelovejournals]

we just held each other and I had never felt so good.

Charles Bukowski,  The Night Torn Mad With Footsteps (via thelovejournals)

[u-r-home]

sometime in the near future you will wake up at 3AM beside the person you love most in the world; wearing next to nothing, you will touch their cheek and they will sleepily pull you closer. the sky will be pink and gold and reflecting onto your love’s bare back. you will feel safe and secure.

[erikacruised]

fantastic sandwiches and where to find them

Got free tickets to a block screening of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them from my co-worker! Good thing Juls didn’t have classes that day. We also tried Quiznos subway sandwiches for the first time and we couldn’t move after but daaaamn those are good sandwiches.

[patrickcherub]

All I want is for a boy to look at me and think “wow she is so cute she gives me a boner but I also want to make her soup”

[poetic-pics]

[baetology]

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

[fuckudad]

how I feel when I think about the future

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[posiviibes]

[erikacruised]

Juls is leaving for uni tomorrow and this is the first time he’ll be living in the dorm near the campus. It’s a bit far from home, and he had to move there to save time on commuting (he’s been taking the train for a year and a half to go to class everyday). This way he can use the extra hour to study or rest. I know it’s for his own good, and I want nothing but the best for him, but of course I feel sad that he has to leave.

I’ve gotten so used to him being in the same city as me and exactly 20 minutes away. I’ve gotten used to visiting him at home after work sometimes, or him visiting me at home, or us meeting halfway and just ending our stressful days with each other. Now I have to get used to seeing him once every two weeks. It’s so sad I tried to keep myself from crying when we were together earlier. 

Obviously I failed and I ugly-cried in front of him.

I’ve been feeling a tad bit sad lately, like getting trampled in a stampede and not being able to breathe. Work is stressful, I haven’t seen my friends for some time, Christmas is nearing and finances are crazy, and I don’t know where my life is leading to. He’s the only thing going right in my life, and not seeing him might make me sink even lower. But I shouldn’t think that. There’s always Facebook, there’s always the calls and the texts, there’s always Skype. We’ll get through this month together until his Christmas break, and then again until March, and then more until he graduates and passes the bar. 

Then we’ll never have to be apart again.