Sometimes I want to share my thoughts with the world. But then I get scared. Not scared of what If my words don’t get heard, but what If they do, and people will pretend to care.
It’s the worst. Phony people scare me. When they hear your cry for help and they pretend to be all caring, but then turn you down when you least expect it - that is something to be afraid of. How do you live with the fact that after you have shown to the public how nice and caring you are, you leave the person, who put their trust in you, suffering alone. You admire poets, musicians, writers. But who are they? Someone who got abandoned, rejected and left alone. Who learned how to deal with it and just embraced who they are. Someone who wanted to show the world so badly what they are capable of, just to prove all of you, phonies, wrong.
But happened to all the boys and girls who didn’t make it? They are not famous, they are not admirable. Some learned how to live with it by working really hard to never think of how nobody’s given any damn about them; some found comfort in a loving embrace of a person who saw the beautiful soul behind all the insecurities that were forced upon them; and some didn’t make it. They are dead.
Nowadays there is so much talk about suicide: «Know that you are not alone!», «Someone can help you!». But caring about someone genuinely is hard if you don’t know them. What are those people who proclaim that they can help? Why would they care?
This short message is not about suicide. It’s about being rejected by the system, even though people who were once rejected are the ones who rule it: weirdos, smart asses, nerds, geeks, freaks.
We are fucking out of the American dream. Not because we don’t want it, but because we cannot achieve it. We will always be too smart, to weird, too sassy, too freaky to fit in there. So what do we do when the world finally recognizes us? We pretend that we are normal. We turn into a bunch of phonies. Styx sings that it all is the grand illusion and deep down we are all the same. But we aren’t! Yes, we all love, hate, get upset, get happy, get angry, get annoyed…it can go on and on! But we all do it on a different level.
You know what, look for people who feel at the same level. You cannot have any relationship or expect anything from a person who doesn’t feel as hard as you feel, or don’t care just how you don’t. You will never find understanding if you care too much and they care too little. Yes, the world is a bunch of phonies, but there are people who truly care about you. Unconsciously, you know. Childhood friends, mom and dad, even someone you might not know about, who dreams about you and only waits for a chance to show you all the love they’ve got.
No matter how hard it might be, embrace your weirdness, freakiness, or whatever you are. It won’t be easy, but you cannot change yourself to fit in. You will always feel dissatisfied, angry, out of this world. You don’t have to look for the weirdo friends, and they won’t find you. One day, you will just happen to meet. Till then, don’t sell your soul in countless tries to find someone who will truly care. They won’t.
So I share this message with the world in hopes that you won’t pretend to care. That’s the least you can do.
yousharknotpass
dailybridgerton
prguitarman
gummygunk
andulkaphoto
romaincrisis
snowghoul
