Hello there! I'm Erin. I'm a fat, disabled, trans Leather man in my late thirties. I live in Melbourne, Australia. I'm the writer and producer of the Love and Luck podcast.Ā I post all sorts of things; there's no theme to this blog other than the fact that it's mine. Ā "Hey look it's my face" is my selfie tag.
actually wait, shit, I don't think I posted here about february did I?
oh well, hi tumblr friends who don't have me elsewhere - I nearly died in february. spent 10 days unconscious and intubated in the royal melbourne hospital's ICU. spent a few more days in the ICU after that, then some days in the genmed ward, then came home because it was going to take a week until a rehab bed was available and I was too high needs and it was easier for my partner to care for me at home.
"what happened" - extremely long story short, a bowel obstruction caused me to go into septic shock and then my lungs wouldn't take on oxygen. a lot more happened than that obviously but that's the stuff you care about for the sake of "what happened". we also discovered a 10mm kidney stone (no you read that correctly, a full ONE CENTIMETRE) which was blasted a couple of months later. Life with a stent sucked and I am glad those days are behind me.
recovery was hard - had to learn to do almost everything again. couldn't even hold things or feed myself for a while. BUT my lungs recovered really well, so I didn't have to do lung physio, which, thank god because I've done that once before and once was enough, thanks.
this was extremely similar (almost identical actually) to what nearly killed me when I was 19 so you can imagine this has not been great for my PTSD, however I will say that thanks to both the RMH's exceptional care and my therapist, I do not feel nearly as traumatised by this - I don't think it's made my PTSD worse and I don't even think I'm picking up new PTSD from this one (though of course we're only a few months out so that's not certain yet).
anyway, you needn't worry about me - I've recovered really well. I had to stay off all my meds for a long time (I was rawdogging fibromyalgia until the start of june, do not recommend) and I'm still not allowed back on most of them so everything is taking more work, but honestly I'm doing okay. I'm able to do things myself again and these days my biggest frustrations are not being well enough to do any writing (I cannot tell you how weird it is to stare at the ICU's ceiling and think "damn, I nearly died without finishing my jojo's bizarre adventure slash fanfiction"). my ongoing comment when I discuss it these days in person is "I think I look pretty good for a guy who was intubated x months ago" because yeah, honestly, I've recovered really well. even the doctors and physios at the hospital have been impressed with my recovery.
For my own enrichment, I am listening to full discographies of music artists that I either haven't heard, don't know well, or only know a small selection of their work. I am mainly focused on particularly famous artists, because there's a lot of ~classic~ music out there, however stuff that is popular now that I've just somehow missed is also very much on the table.
Once I am done, I usually want to write something up about it, because that's how I solidify my thoughts and opinions. People like reading my thoughts, apparently, so I have decided to start storing them here, whereas previously they would simply live on a friendslocked social media post.
This started when I decided to listen to the entire Prince discography for a different project, and I found that I really enjoyed it and wanted to do it with other artists. So I am.
I want to reiterate that I do these listens for my own enrichment. This is not a Content Project For The Internet. I'm not doing this for you. There is no schedule to this project, and there are no rules. I listen to whatever I personally choose to listen to, at my own pace, and I will write as much or as little as I want to write about it when I am done.
I'll start by reblogging my original Prince post, and then I'll copypaste the couple of other posts I've done on Facebook, and then future posts will come when they come.
hi, I'm still not Back On Tumblr but a few people on facebook really liked my posts about music I've listened to and I've been pondering keeping the posts saved somewhere anyway so I decided a tumblr was the best storage option.
i'm not back on tumblr but ppl want my pillion thoughts
Okay, I know people want my thoughts on Pillion and it was getting too unwieldy to put them into bluesky posts so here's a big post instead. I have not edited this and it is purely off the cuff so don't expect, like, article or essay levels of writing from me here, okay? Okay.
Spoilers within. I am going to spoil the movie. I personally don't think that's a problem if you still want to see it, because like most slow dramas it's more about the journey than the destination, but hey, if you don't want spoilers, don't read this.
Before we start, you have to let me get something out of my system:
RAY SUCKS. RAY SUCKS SO MUCH. OH MY GOD I HATE HIM SO MUCH HE'S THE ABSOLUTE WORST!! RAY YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT YOU SUCK SO MUCH I HATE YOU!!! OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
Thank you.
Next important thing: I am a lifelong Leather man, but I am not a biker. I obviously have a lot of cultural crossover with bikers, and I've known a lot of gay Leather bikers, but I'm not one of them, and so anything specific to the biker part of the film is something I can only go on heresay on. I've heard a lot about gay Leather biker clubs, but I've never been in one, so I can't comment as to that part of things.
Okay. Let's get to it.
So, probably the biggest FAQ: "Hey Erin, is this movie realistic?"
Unfortunately, yes.
I have seen a LOT of relationships like Colin and Ray's play out over the years. Doms like Ray are (unfortunately) a dime a dozen, and unfortunately so are newly awakened subs that don't know shit like Colin.
Those relationships nearly always end after merely a few months, or even weeks. Just like the movie. They're not sustainable for the long term. There's no single way they end; it can go like it does in the movie but there's a thousand ways for a relationship to end.
Now some rare people DO genuinely likes and thrive in relationships like the one Ray dictates, and I'm not out to call em liars. I've met those people. They're happy, they're doing well. But sustaining that kind of relationship long term is INCREDIBLY difficult, and most people cannot do it, because people are people and have people needs. Not saying it can't be done, but it's rare.
And the thing is, Colin is pretty clearly NOT one of those people - we can see this because he pushes back. He asks for a day off. He asks to share the bed. He acts out when he doesn't get the attention he needs. Colin may not know what he's doing but he is at least trying to communicate his needs, even if he's not aware of the fact that that's what he's doing.
Ray, on the other hand. Ray is the kind of dom I warn subs away from.
Ray does not communicate. Ray does not take care of his property.
Oh except the bike of course.
The scenes with the bike washing were interesting and frustrating to me because there's a lot going on there and you can interpret it as kind of sexy, and I probably would have if Ray didn't suck in every other aspect, but unfortunately, he does.
Let me explain what I mean.
In the mornings, an alarm clock in the living room wakes Colin up. It's in the living room so that it draws Colin out towards the window where he can see Ray washing his bike. Ray is doting, loving towards his bike. He touches it with a care and affection that he never touches Colin with.
Now. This is kind of sexy, from a D/s perspective. A sort of "look how much I love this literal piece of property, see how much more I care about it than you, you are below my bike to me, that's your position" thing. That can be hot!
HOWEVER.
Ray spends the entire movie explicitly NOT caring for Colin. So instead of a fun bit of sexy degredation, these scenes show that Ray QUITE LITERALLY cares about his bike more than Colin. Which, to be clear is not INNATELY a bad thing, especially at the start of their relationship - the relationship between biker and bike is a very special one and I'm not about to claim otherwise.
But you can't show me those scenes in the context of this relationship in this movie and have me think it's sexy. I think it's sad. I think it's cruel. I think Ray is a piece of shit.
Ray does not care, not really. You could, I suppose, make an argument that he cares but he just shows it differently - but that falls apart for me because of a few scenes in the film. I won't bore you by going over each of them but I will tell you the exact scene(s) where I went from "oh my god, this guy sucks" to "COLIN DUMP HIM!! DUMP HIIIIIM!"
It was Colin's mother's funeral.
When the shot opens and I saw Colin sitting there all alone, I nearly fucken exploded in the cinema. It's good for everyone that I am a polite movie-goer because manners were the only thing stopping me from SCREAMING.
Colin and his mother were CLEARLY very close. And yes, she didn't like Ray, and that's awkward - but awkwardness means fucking NOTHING when someone in your care is grieving. And note I said "in your care" - you don't have to be in love with your submissive, but you DO have to fulfil your fucking duties as their carer, because that's what you fucking ARE. Your submissive, in TPE or almost-TPE situations like this one, is your WARD.
Ray not being at that funeral was fucking EMOTIONAL NEGLECT. He didn't even have to be inside - we could have cut to outside the church with him waiting there, maybe throw in a comment about how she didn't like him and so he didn't feel it was right to attend directly or something. That would have been fine.
But no. He's not there, and he struggles to even make small talk about it when they meet up again.
Now, to a degree, the film understands this, because this is the catalyst for Colin starting to act out. And of course he does! Of course he does! Ray sucks!! Ray has not been a good dom! The whole movie has just been Colin being swept up by a selfish asshole!
And again, the film does seem to understand this - I mean, there's a reason they don't end up together at the end. I mean Ray fucking ghosts, which is SO fucking cruel.
Which reminds me, hey - marketing teams? Hey guys? Why the fuck did you market this movie as a romance movie??? Why is this listed as a romance movie everywhere??
This is NOT a fucking romance movie?? For starters we don't get a HEA for the couple, only for the protagonist (and even then it's kind of a mid one), which by definition makes it not a fucking romance.
We also SKIP two of the most important romantic scenes in Colin and Ray's relationship. In vanilla relationship romance, you would expect a first kiss scene, right? (Which ironically we do get in this movie, even if it's at the end.) You would probably also expect, like, a big confession scene in a vanilla movie, where the couple express their feelings verbally for the first time. These are not cliches - they are important conventions for a romance story.
In Pillion, we see Colin wearing a heavy chain with a padlock around his neck, and we see him with a shaved head.
And we see NEITHER of those events actually happen. We just see a scene cut and whoops, there we go, there's a chain and shaved head now.
I cannot express to you, if you are not a Leather person, how fucking bullshit that is, if this movie wants to call itself a romance movie. It would be like not having that first kiss, like not having the confession.
Not showing the collaring scene is an absolutely unhinged decision. What do you MEAN you're just not going to show the very act that makes Colin Ray's? What do you MEAN you're just not going to show the very act that many of us make into full scale events on the level of a wedding because it's so important to us? Even if it was a private affair - which is definitely was with Ray, let's be real - that's totally fine, but we should still SEE it. Even if it was rough and careless like everything else about Ray's approach to this relationship, we should still SEE IT!! We should see him lay those chains around Colin's neck, we should see that padlock get locked. There should be eye contact (we know that's allowed in their relationship). There should be smiles. Colin should sigh happily. Then Ray would grab that chain and they'd fuck. C'mon. THIS IS NOT A CLICHE IT IS A CONVENTION. You made this whole movie, you have the gall to market it as a romance, and YOU DON'T FUCKING SHOW US THE COLLARING? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???
The shaved head you MIGHT be able to get away with not showing, but this movie very clearly wants to be erotic and if you don't know that gay Leather people get turned on by head shaving you do not know us very well. Head shaving is an intensely erotic and intensely intimate act in almost every D/s relationship I've seen. It's a shearing back not just of hair but of personhood, it's an emotional expression of (well, a lot of things, not only this, but commonly) stripping someone back to a purer state, restoring them to factory settings, as it were. Taking away someone's individuality so that you can better mould them to your own specific desires (or to simply leave as factory standard - I mean drone stuff is certainly popular these days).
And this movie really does want to be erotic - something that personally I don't think it does particularly well. I was not turned on by this movie. The only thing erotic about this movie was the cinematography.
Which brings me to the one genuinely good thing about this movie: the cinematography. I was not lying in that paragraph. The cinematography in Pillion is AMAZING. The director of photography did an incredible job, and the sex scenes are definitely some of the best looking sex scenes I've seen in a movie. DEFINITELY some of the best gay sex scenes I've seen in a movie. Great job to Nick Morris, he was the MVP of this entire film.
In fact he was a little too good - I know Pillion's been getting great reviews, and I think it's just because the cinematography is really good and the acting is pretty good too. I think those two things have tricked people into thinking the writing and story is good. Because it's not.
I have learned that this movie is actually based on a novel, and I am gonna have to go read that book so I can find out how much of what I hate about this movie is the movie's fault and how much of it is the source material's fault.
But the thing is that I think the medium of a novel might make a lot of things I disliked about this movie a lot better. For example, a quick google indicates that it's written in the first person. This means that the shallowness of the characters other than Colin makes a lot more sense - Colin can't see into their heads, can't follow them when he's not with them, so of course we can't get as deep into them as we can into Colin.
Because, god, that's a thing - everyone in this movie is so ONE DIMENSIONAL. Colin is a pretty well rounded character, but of course he is, he's the fucking protagonist and the POV character. Although frankly even he could have used a little bit more fleshing out, a few more details, a little bit more personality. But overall, yeah, Colin's an acceptably deep character. But everyone else?? First of all, WHO else - the movie doesn't bother to linger on most of the people in it. There's basically only three other real characters - Colin's parents, and Ray. All three of them are as shallow as a sheet of paper.
Which is not to say they're all bad - I actually loved Colin's parents, they were another good thing about this movie. I loved how supportive they were (like, god, his dad driving him around all day at the end of the movie looking for Ray? what a great dad), and I loved how protective they were, and I loved that they did their best to balance those two things. Good parents. And - generally speaking - totally okay for them to be shallow characters. After all, (looks directly into the camera), the main characters will be interesting and deep enough to keep us engaged, right?
ā¦ RIGHT???
Ray is so fucking one dimensional he bores me to tears when he's not infuriating me. Like seriously we don't know or learn anything about this guy, he never expresses any fucking emotions or thoughts, all we know about him is that he's a gay biker dom and that's it. And this is sort of touched on in the story of the movie via the dinner scene, but keeping Ray distant from the characters and keeping him distant from the audience are two different things.
Again, if this is truly meant to be a romance movie, we need to actually buy in to the love interest. We need to give a shit about him. That's really hard to do when he's kept at arm's length from us the whole time.
Now, narratively, I think there's a few reasons for Ray being kept as shallow as possible and not even all of them are bad. I think a couple of the good reasons for Ray being kind of shallow as a character are
a) Mysterious Sexy Man, let us all imprint our fantasies onto a gruff Alexander Skarsgard and don't worry about him as a person, just look how sexy he is!
b) it doesn't hurt the audience as much (or at all, in my case) when Ray ghosts Colin at the end and they don't end up together.
Let me tell you, when we got to the end of the movie and they didn't end up together I was SO HAPPY. It was the first time I experienced joy in this fucking movie, was at the very end.
God. Does that kind of let you know how I feel about this movie? I did not enjoy this movie. And not in a fun "ooh this art makes me uncomfortable" way.
I spent the whole movie seething at Ray. He's such a piece of shit.
Listen, I'm a dom. I'm exclusively a dom. When the movie ended I had to turn to my partner and ask in desperation, "is Ray actually hot? Can you explain what's hot about him to me?" because I just legit could not understand the appeal and I needed a better placed point of view.
Because as a dom - Colin? The sub? Oh yes. Yes please. Give me that scraggly little man. Fuck Ray, give that boy to me, I'll treat him better. He's mine now, you don't deserve him.
Anyway, my partner explained to me that yes, Ray is hot - but he's "porn hot". He's the dom that you fantasise about when you're hard and horny, but you wouldn't want to actually be with in real life.
Now, that's fine for a movie, right? It's a movie, it's a fantasy too. And yes! You would be right! ā¦ except the "but not in real life" is supposed to come baked into the fact it's a movie, not something you feel or think about the CHARACTER HIMSELF. You're not supposed to consciously go "damn, hot, but hell no". You're supposed to go "damn, hot!" and then leave the cinema thinking about how hot the fantasy man on the big screen was - that's where the fantasy/reality line is supposed to be, it's supposed to be the fact you know it's fantasy, it shouldn't be built into the fucking thing, you know?
Ugh, anyway, I don't want to talk too much about Ray from this perspective because it's not my perspective. Like I said, I'm exclusively dom, so Ray isn't meant to appeal to me. But I can tell you that I certainly don't want to be anything like him and I fucking hope baby doms don't see this movie and want to be like him either.
God there's so much more I could talk about in this movie - I haven't even touched on how I hate the "day off" at the end and how Ray's entire personality basically changed for it, or how I actually do appreciate how much consultation went into this movie and that they let actual real Leather people play themselves in it, or how annoyed I am at how this movie can't decide what fucking genre it wants to be, or this or that or the other...
Unfortunately though I am still recovering from literally nearly dying last month so my stamina has worn out. Sorry.
If you take nothing else away from my opinion on Pillion, remember this:
So for reasons that do not matter, a few months ago I decided to listen to Prince's entire discography. I was only really familiar with a few of his biggest hits and a little pop culture osmosis, and I didn't really have too much of an impression of him or his work beyond that. So I decided to change that.
The first thing I did was make myself a little to do list of all his albums, at which point of I immediately learned a lot about Prince, because HE RELEASED FORTY FUCKING STUDIO ALBUMS. FORTY. Most musical artists are lucky if they can bang out THREE and this man was over here releasing a new full studio album every damn year (sometimes multiple a year!).
I listened in chronological order, and I've listened to them all twice now. The first listen was a critical listen; I was mainly focused on the music and not doing much else while I listened. Often I'd be reading along lyrics or maybe scrolling social media lightly, but I was focused on what I was listening to. The second listen (which was a lot faster and easier), I just put his music on in the background while I did other stuff, the way most of us usually listen to music these days.
I'm glad I did both versions of this because honestly, the Prince experience is super different depending on which one you're doing!
Critically listening to Prince means you can really settle in and appreciate the storytelling and curated experience (something especially true of his later work) - Prince albums are very *deliberate*, they're not just a bunch of songs thrown together. The full experience kind of requires your full attention. However, the downside of critically listening to Prince is that, well... some of the songs suck. Sorry! But they do! Prince did not only write bangers! He also wrote a lot of boring stuff!
Casually listening fixes this; all the bumps of poor quality are immediately smoothed out as it all kind of blurs together in a fun funky ride. However, casually listening misses some of his best moments, some of his most interesting experiments and some of his most wonderfully complex compositions.
So, my thoughts on Prince?
I'm not sure anyone else in the history of the world has loved music as much as Prince loved music. There's this irrepressible passion that spills out of his work, and that includes the bad stuff. Even the songs I found the most boring, I could still feel *Prince* believing in them. This man loved music, lived music.
And music loved *him*. He was really good at music.
Lyrics, though? Lyrics... were not his strong suit, in my opinion š
He got better as his career went on, which is not surprising, because you do anything long enough and you'll improve at it - but yeah, no, look, even in his later work, I don't think Prince was a particularly great lyricist. His lyrics are functional and adequate, but nothing special in my opinion. The music was where he shined.
Something I found really interesting about this adventure was that pretty much all the Prince hits that I knew of were *all* from his older work. In terms of what I was already familiar with, it was all stuff from the 70s and 80s. And that's not because I was listening to the radio then, I was only born in 85, so really I should have been familiar with late Prince, right? But no, I feel like culturally, Prince's biggest influence comes from his early work.
And you know what? That sucks!
I liked Prince's later work vastly more than his earlier stuff (though I did like the early stuff too, don't get me wrong!). It's unsurprising really - if you make music as often as he did, write songs as much as he did, you were going to get better no matter what. The sheer amount of Practise involved is GOING to make someone improve. And he did! I really liked Prince's later albums! My favourite stuff ended up being around the turn of the millenium, but even the stuff coming out shortly before his death was really good!
It was also more *consistent* - early Prince albums are SO hit and miss. It'd be like a quarter bad songs, half decent songs, and a quarter amazing songs. But his later work's quality was way more consistent; there were less and less bad songs as time went on.
Something else I found really shocking about my Prince adventure was that I didn't know how Christian he was. Now, you might be thinking, well, sure, if you don't know much about the man, why would you know that of all things? Well, I'll tell you why I should have known that - IT'S EVERYWHERE IN HIS MUSIC.
It is INCONCEIVABLE to me that I didn't know Prince was Christian, because CHRISTIANS EVERYWHERE SHOULD BE BLASTING HIS MUSIC 24/7!! The man sang about God and love and the bible ALL THE TIME. I don't understand why all Christians aren't constantly playing Prince and crowing about how such a great musician wrote such amazing songs. I don't understand why churches don't blast Prince songs every Sunday!
Well, that's not really true, is it. We all know why Christians don't want to claim him. It's the sex, right?
Because, like, yeah. Damn. Man loved to sing about sex. Whenever someone tells me that pop music is too sexual these days I'm going to start just copypasting Prince lyrics into a reply to them.
A lot of his earlier stuff was sexual in a way that was clearly trying to be provocative, and this is something that I think he succeeded at. I imagine it was probably a big part of his early success; I mean he has an entire album called Controversy for goodness sakes. He knew what he was doing.
Something that I really liked about Prince's sexy songs though is that there's no machismo about them. Prince - at least the version of him I heard in his music, obviously I don't know anything about him as a person - LOVED WOMEN. Good GOD did he love women. There's a tremendous equality to Prince's love and lust for women, too; he didn't want to own them or belong to them, he wanted to be WITH them.
I'm not going to comment much on what queerness may or may not be present in Prince's work - not because I don't have thoughts on it, but because that area of interest is one of the Reasons(tm) that I started this little listening project in the first place, so like, sorry, but I'm keeping those thoughts to myself for now. I will offer you this: I completely understand why queer people loved Prince. I completely get it. I don't, however, think that new generations would feel the same way, since the culture we're in now is so different - and I don't just mean queer culture, I mean MUSIC culture, I mean celebrity culture. Prince was mainstream successful in a way that reached even the darkest closet, but it was all radios or nothing back then; nowdays you can go on tiktok and find a thousand genuinely queer artists making whatever genre of music you like the best.
Okay, so. Some thoughts on specific albums:
My favourite album was Xpectation. Yeah. One of the fully instrumental ones. š¤· I don't know man, like I said, I don't think Prince was the best lyricist, and so getting to just exist with him musically was really wonderful. I felt moved by Xpectation in ways I didn't feel about any of his other albums.
My other faves are pretty consistent with general critical opinion: I liked 1999 and Sign o' the Times best of his early stuff. Gold Experience was doing something really interesting, and I liked what felt like its spiritual successor Art Official Age a lot too, it was probably my favourite of his later albums. I think my favourite lyrically inclined albums overall were Emancipation and Crystal Ball; Emancipation in particular feels celebratory and passionate to a level that even his other albums don't really reach.
Also, the Batman soundtrack slapped. š¤·
Worst album? Oh I'll tell you the worst album. I'll tell you because listening to it also contained my funniest experience in this whole adventure.
So, listen. The worst album is Parade. You will not convince me otherwise. Parade SUCKS. Don't listen to it, it's SO fucking boring, it's basically intolerable. Even on my casual relisten, which smoothed out all the problems in all his other albums, this one is still boring to a degree that I would rather do homework than listen to it ever again.
Now, as I said, when I was listening to these albums, I was mostly reading along with lyrics or doing something else light like that. I was not looking at the track listing as I listened.
So you cannot imagine what a fucking JUMPSCARE it was, when I was listening to Parade, the Most Boring And Worst Prince Album, and then suddenly KISS STARTS PLAYING.
KISS. YOU KNOW THAT ONE? YOU KNOW THAT ONE PRINCE SONG THAT EVERYONE KNOWS? THE ONE THAT WAS ONE OF HIS BIGGEST AND MOST LONG LASTING HITS? "You don't have to be beautiful~" - YOU KNOW, THAT ONE?
Motherfucking Kiss is on Parade. One of his absolute best songs of all time, on his absolute worst album. Couldn't believe it. Had to pause the album when it happened so I could have an existential crisis about it.
So yes. That was my Prince adventure. I have a lot more thoughts than this, obviously, but I have already written SO MUCH about something that does not really matter, so let's end it here.
I actually enjoyed this mini project a LOT, and I think I'm going to start going back through discographies of other majorly influential artists of which I've only heard their biggest hits. I felt like I learned a lot and my understanding of the musical cultural landscape I grew up has deepend, but more importantly than that, I had a fun time listening to good music.
hey tumblr so idk what the common plugins and such are anymore but is there some way to filter my feed so I can see my friend's original posts only and exclude reblogs? because I find myself coming back on here because I miss my friends because most of yall have left twitter (which, can't really blame you for) and either aren't on bsky or don't really use it, but there are soooooooooo many reblogs because you're all busy little posting bees. but I get overwhelmed and don't want to scroll through hundreds of posts, I just wanna know what you're all up to and doin š
anyway i looked up the post about seeing your grandma's boobs and tumblr has deleted the screenshot of the story where the finnish dude says that americans are "like that" because they haven't seen their grandma's tits
my comments on that post were (sorry for shamelessly copy-pasting them):
american attitudes about nudity are fucking wild, and the worst part is that because they're american, they just assume that everyone everywhere thinks the same. i will never forget seeing people on a left-leaning, progressive site saying that families bathing together is creepy and gross and clearly a sign that something is wrong with the family, that they'd never seen their siblings or parents naked and would in fact rather die. meanwhile to this day i bathe and go to the sauna with my sister and mother and have been bathing and sauna'ing with various family members - and even strangers! - my whole life.
but yes, can confirm, seeing your grandma's tits as a child does you good, and not just because it teaches you that "beauty is fake and temporary", but because it broadens your ideas about what beauty even is in the first place. my sister and i used to spend our summers at our grandma's house by the countryside and frequently bathed and went to sauna with her. we saw not just her breasts but also her flabby skin, her moles and liver spots, her body hair and varicose veins, and we didn't see any of that as weird or ugly because they were a part of our grandma who we loved very much. and when we see those things in other people - ourselves included! - we think "well it wasn't ugly on my grandma's body, so why would it be ugly on anyone else's body?". it makes you much more understanding and "forgiving", if you will, towards the completely normal bodies of strangers as well as your own body.
corporate ppl are always like āi hate email comms they cause so many delaysā but those people are fools. i crave communication delays. i hit send on an email and then immediately shoot a prayer up to the heavens that the response may take 2-3 days. letās slow everything down just a bit thank you.
hi tumblr, I kind of want to be able to use you again at some point, however, I have come up against a problem and I need your help fixing it:
I don't have the time to spend hours and hours and hours on tumblr anymore, which means I need to MASSIVELY cull my following list if I'm going to use it again. Now, that in itself is not the problem. I can do that.
The problem is that I have no idea who the fuck some of you are anymore. people change usernames and userpics and that's all well and fine and good but it means I do not recognise a lot of the people on my following list.
So if we are mutuals, plz comment or DM or whatnot with a crumb of context for me so that I can avoid accidentally unfollowing you when I eventually commit to the Purge
hi tumblr, I kind of want to be able to use you again at some point, however, I have come up against a problem and I need your help fixing it:
I don't have the time to spend hours and hours and hours on tumblr anymore, which means I need to MASSIVELY cull my following list if I'm going to use it again. Now, that in itself is not the problem. I can do that.
The problem is that I have no idea who the fuck some of you are anymore. people change usernames and userpics and that's all well and fine and good but it means I do not recognise a lot of the people on my following list.
So if we are mutuals, plz comment or DM or whatnot with a crumb of context for me so that I can avoid accidentally unfollowing you when I eventually commit to the Purge
Hey hey, donāt cry, Kane and Jason from Love and Luck podcast, ok?
design notes under the cut <3
Kane:
- hes my favorite bc hes just like me Fr <3 anxiety ridden trans bi man with a thing for loud men <3
- also heās a bear and I adore bears so obviously I had to make him unimaginably hot. At least to my artistic abilities.
- idk when I decided that he was aboriginal, but in my heart itās real and true ā¤ļø hope this helps
- heās described as looking a lot like his mother, and Julie is said to have black coily hair <3
- in my heart heās had no surgeries, occasionally binds or packs, but usually heās just lettin it hang <3 Im using him to live out my trans fantasies just let me HAVE THIS
- heās called Papa Bear for a REASON. He dresses like a FATHER. I will not take any criticism on this, he wears KHAKI CARGO SHORTS and NEW BALANCES.
- the white strands in his hair are just a quirk of having hair as dark as his, but he blames it on the kids <3 (he also blames it on the kids leaving though, he canāt ever make up his mind <3)
- i like to think heās taller than Kane, but slouches so much that people genuinely forget heās like. 6ft tall. Big fuck šš» no truck šš»
- i also hc that heās always touching Jason <3 not in like an overly affectionate pda kinda way, but just. Pressing up against him while theyāre behind the bar, or holding hands while they chat, or a hand on his waist while theyāre on the train together <3 just gentle touches, bc heās in love and needs to touch his man CONSTANTLY.
Jason:
- he says in the first couple episodes that heās very visually queer, so I took that and sprinted with it <3
- even if he isnāt visually a punk, his attitude and radical acceptance is so punk rock and I just <3 I refuse to believe otherwise (Iām a punk and this is me again living through a character)
- they absolutely at least tried to make at least one custom Best of Luck Bar patch, but then the embroidery got too much, so Jason just painted on ālove and luckā <3
- i feel like heās beefy, but itās a CRAZY sleeper build. Fucking coma build. Looks like a skinny lanky fuck till you ask him to arm wrestle and he knocks you out in 4 picoseconds
- i feel like heās less touchy feely in public, but heās strapped to Kaneās back in private <3
- i also feel like heās the local magpie. The kids bring him shiny things and he goes Oh!!!! And before he even knows it itās in his pocket. And soon enough in a little container that Kane uses to collect his trinkets while heās doing laundry ā¤ļø
- in my heart he wears a rope with knots on it from Kane <3 for safety <3 and also good vibes and love
I absolutely love that you headcanon Kane as Aboriginal because whilst I would not canonise that myself (because he's voiced by a white man and I'd be Very Uncomfortable about that) - his Mum, Julie, is voiced by our beloved and proud Anaiwan woman Nic Rummery, so please consider this a non-canon endorsement of your headcanon <3
hey tumblr whats up apparently I havenāt posted here at all in 2019.
I am VERY BUSY.Ā Podcasting has become a bit of a full time job lately. I might make a fresh post in a bit with the other shows Iāve released this year, other than love and luck.Ā (or if youāre impatient and want to know, check out passervulpes.com).
Iām p much just on tumblr today because I was doing a lil search to see what people are saying about love and luck and Iām so happy that the tumblr crowd likes it so much.Ā people really *get* LNL here, whereas folks on other platforms sometimes donāt seem to understand the point of the show.
anyway I love you all and Iām most active over on twitter if you want to keep up with my day to day, Iām @ Erinkyan there as well :)
