I don't really sleep much anymore. If I'm lucky, I'll catch three or four hours before being deadass awake and staring at the ceiling until either my alarm goes off, my stomach starts growling, or I have to take a piss.
During these times I become very used to the idea that vaguely suicidal ideation is just the background noise in my brain most days. I'm not actually going to do it. It's not a driving impulse or anything, its just a vague, amorphic notion swimming around in the back of my skull. Besides, I'd hate to inconvenience anyone like that.

















