we had a forum, but...

Owlphallacies' blog for writing, podfic, etc.

[escalatedintodicks]

Shopping genderswap snippet (Boyd/Erica)

"How does this look?" 

Boyd blinks. "Like you have an ass," she says, and goes back to her book.

 "Boyd!" 

Eric's pouting now. He makes it look good, but yeah, that's not going to work.

"Not Isaac," Boyd points out, because if he'd wanted detailed fashion advice? He could have damn well asked someone else to come with him. 

Eric rolls his eyes. "Right, because what I really wanted was to spend an hour looking at scarves while listening to Scott McCall Fan Radio. Like we don't get enough of that at lunch." 

"He's been talking about Allison, too," Boyd points out. She's back to staring at her book, not that she's actually trying to read it, but Eric is merciless when he sees he has an advantage, and Boyd wants smoothies *before* the next supernatural crisis hits, thanks. 

"Really? UGH." She does look up then, because the disgusted face Eric makes at the thought of an Allison-Scott-Isaac sandwich(and how disgusting Isaac would be about it afterwards) is pretty fantastic. Something glitters in the changing room, and when she looks--

"Eric. Take the girl jeans out." 

Eric glares. "What the hell? Seriously, Boyd, I can't believe-" 

"You always forget about the pocket size and then shit falls out," Boyd says. Eric pouts again. 

"No," Boyd turns back to her book. "You have fifteen minutes and then I'm leaving." She's done it before. The best smoothie place closes in an hour and a half, and like hell is she getting second-best tonight. Plus, if Eric's trying on sparkly things then he's done with serious shopping and about to move on to his hypothetical drag wardrobe, and Boyd doesn't have time for that. 

(They've talked about it, though.  Boyd would be fine with just going out like that, but Eric is going to want all the attention he can get. That's fine. Boyd knows when Jungle has open mic night and they're going to do it as soon as they agree on a song, which might take a while. Eric wants to ask Derek to do his makeup, at least half to see if he's gonna shed a single manly tear over all his feeeeelings. Whatever. He's old enough that if he can't say no to Eric it will be completely his fault. It's probably gonna be as funny as the time she went drag-shopping with Isaac. It's nice to have that to look forwards to. It's nice to have a lot of things to look forwards to; it still hits her, sometimes, how new that is.)

 She checks her watch. 

"Seven minutes!" she yells, and Eric yells "Fuck you!" back. She goes back to her book. 

END.

[escalatedintodicks]

Here is Chapter 2 of betp's Lunchtime, which can be found here.

This time, the file was too big for tumblr so I had to get creative. Per usual, it can be downloaded at https://www.box.com/s/fu0f7o4jiblif5d940iq and let me know if there's any issue.

If you'd like to listen to Chapter 1, that puppy is here. 

[escalatedintodicks]

Visit Original Link

Chapter 1 of BarlowGirl/Barlowstreet's The Shadow of Your Heart, which can be found here. 

If you'd like to download this, you ought to be able to do so at https://www.box.com/s/5f8wel392r47rw8jn05u, and please let me know if there's any problem with that.

[escalatedintodicks]

Visit Original Link

Podfic of Halffizzbin's Bogarted, which can be found here. 

If you'd like to download it, you should be able to do that at https://www.box.com/s/5akuxxzy3ti6rg29feck, please let me know if it doesn't work.

[escalatedintodicks]

There's, um, a particular Sterek scenario I've been kicking around for a while, and I felt like sharing. So. They're in bed, and Derek is on Stiles' lap, his back to Stiles' chest, with his hands tied together over his head. There's some sort of magical rope going up to the ceiling, and, sure, it would be a little easier to just put Derek's arms around Stiles' neck, but then Derek would have to be careful, couldn't pull too hard or yank them forwards at all, and that's not the point. The point is, Derek can pull as hard as he wants while Stiles fucks him. But with the position they're in, and the fact that Derek isn't exactly made out of air, it's difficult for Stiles to set up a fast rhythm by himself. So he doesn't. Instead, his movements are slow, agonizingly slow, and Derek's facing away from him, so he can't use his mouth on Stiles to encourage him to speed up, and he can't use his hands to finish himself off because of the rope.

Really, all he can do is sit there and lean into it while Stiles gropes him shamelessly (hands everywhere except on his dick) and whispers in his ear about how good he is, how much Stiles loves him, and every single reason why he does, until Derek, overwhelmed, comes all over himself.

That's just something I like to think about, every so often.

[escalatedintodicks]

Teen Wolf Spring Fling Day 4: Teen Wolf/Singin' In the Rain fusion

So originally, this was going to be longer and follow the plot of the movie, but the way I cast it made everything ridiculously complicated, and instead I wrote this. If you want my main blog for whatever reason, you can find it here.

Derek heard the door slam. He frowned. It was still far too early for Isaac or Boyd, and the only other person with a key was-

“Erica?”

A moment later, there she was. Erica threw herself onto the couch with all the overblown drama of a film heroine.

“Tonight was terrible. Just—the worst.”

He waited, but no more was forthcoming. That wasn’t good. Erica loved to complain about any and every thing that bothered her, so if she was being silent for once—

“What happened?”

“Allison Argent happened, that’s what.”

Well, there was the one answer he hadn’t expected. Erica adored Allison Argent and had forced them all into seeing her latest film, The Outlaw, at least twice. (Boyd, the only one of them who could say no to Erica, had refused to go more than once. Derek, who always had an especially hard time saying no to her, had seen it enough that he could narrate it in his sleep.)

“What did she do?”

“What didn’t she do?” Erica snapped.

He moved her legs, sat down next to her, and listened to the whole story, making noises in all the right places. Derek wasn’t particularly good with people, but by now he was an old hand at listening to Erica.  Possibly because she reminded him of Laura.

“-and then I threw a pie at Jackson Whittemore.”

Derek blinked. “What did he do?”

“I didn’t mean to! I was aiming at Allison Argent. She ducked.”

“I’m sure he deserved it,” Derek offered, and fought to keep a straight face. He yelped when she pinched his arm.

“You think this is funny?”

“Not at all. There is nothing remotely humorous about Jackson Whittemore’s face covered in pie. Absolutely nothing.”

She shoved him, but her expression was much less miserable. “Oh, shut up. Here I am, pouring out my soul to you-“

“-your tortured, artistic soul-“

“-and all I get is mockery! Derek Edwin Hale, what would your mother say-“

He snorted. “I think the better question is, what would Isaac say if he heard you carrying on like this?”

She glared at him. Isaac never had patience for Erica’s rants, and made no secret of it. But this, at least, was a familiar face, and Derek relaxed into the couch.

* * *

A few weeks later, he was in the living room playing cards with Isaac when Erica practically floated in the door.

“Well, look who pulled her head out of the clouds to join us mere mortals,” Isaac said.

She snorted. “Better be careful, jealous. If you get any greener, we’ll have to start watering you.”

“Oh, come on, is that the best you’ve got?” he cried, but Erica ignored him, humming loudly to herself as she glided to her room.

Isaac scowled. “I don’t like it. You know, if this was a movie, this would be the part where the wicked stepmother locks her in her room.”

Derek frowned. “But none of us is a wicked stepmother,” he said absently. There was someone moving around outside—someone awfully energetic for this time of night. That usually meant drunks. He moved closer to the window for a better view.

“I know that,” Isaac continued irritably. “That’s what worries me. It just seems too fairy-tale, is what I mean. How do we know that Argent’s serious? Because, movie star or no movie star, if she hurts Erica, I’ll—Derek! Are you smiling?”

“Come here and look for yourself,” Derek said.

Isaac rose to join him, the cards completely forgotten. The two of them stood in silence for a moment and watched as Allison Argent threw off the hood of her bright yellow raincoat and swung herself happily round a lamppost.

“What the hell is she doing?”

“I think she’s singing,” Derek said. “Don’t get excited, I’m sure it’s about her many romantic conquests.”

They watched Argent gleefully throw herself into puddles—in a rhythm that perfectly matched the song they could still, faintly, hear Erica singing to herself—until she was out of sight.

“Plotting all the ways she’s going to hurt Erica, clearly.”

“Oh, shut up.”

[escalatedintodicks]

A bit of Teen Wolf meta on Derek Hale

So I'm going to start by saying, in the interests of honesty, I've seen about 4 episodes of Teen Wolf so far. I have been spoiled for pretty much everything, but even so, there's a level where I might be basing this off fanon over canon. 

That said, as I got more interested in Teen Wolf, Derek started reminding me of one of my own characters, Felika. In the past year and a half, as I've dealt with her, it's been about her working through her own traumas and handling them. And comparatively, I don't get the impression Derek has handled his issues at all. Now, in fairness, he has been relatively-survival focused, so I can see how that wouldn't be a priority.

But the thing is, he has no motivation to handle 'em. For starters, he doesn't have anyone to call him out on his personal bullshit. Who does he know that can do that? I think you might be able to make an argument for Isaac--but Isaac didn't know him pre-fire. Sure, Peter did, but the guy has his own agenda, so unless Derek's a complete idiot, he's not reliable in this situation.

And he has no incentive to handle it either, because something like that? Always painful. And you actually have both like yourself and have a support network, even if that's just one person, and Derek doesn't have either.(Yay trust issues!)

Now, so does Felika. But, unlike Derek, she has both a support system (though she doesn't use it, she still knows it's there) and the motivation to confront her own traumas, because if she doesn't, she's going to hurt people she doesn't want to hurt.

Unlike Felika, Derek has had his own supernatural powers since birth. While Alphadom is new, it's still an extension of that, so if it is changing his behavior, even if he's aware of it, again, who is he going to go to? Peter? Deaton? But why would he trust them with that vulnerability?

Also, regardless of how one thinks of Derek's family (which, given what I've read, tends to be overwhelmingly positive, though I read some meta that I can't find now that suggests, based on the way Derek treats being an Alpha, they were not that nice), the thing is-if they were nice enough that Derek wouldn't be paranoid about Kate, then his upbringing has also left him woefully unprepared to deal with the level of violence in it post-fire.

And here, again, I see Felika as a foil. Now,herbiggest trauma happened 10 years earlier in her life than Derek's did, but she also grew up in a very different environment. That is, one where violence, maiming, and killing people was considered a legitimage option, though there were very strict rules about when that was okay. And, though she believed in those rules and continued to respect them as she grew up, one of the biggest problems Felika has had is struggling not to be too violent, because she knows where that can lead.

In contrast, I'd say that Derek has no model and therefore a much less clear sense of limitation/where the "too much" line is, especially because there's really no one to reliably tie him to (for lack of a better phrase) humanity and/or normalcy, because modern first-world culture as we see it expressed in Beacon Hills does not generally raise someone to be able to kill/handle violence easily. And the threats keep piling up, and I'd argue (feel free to call me on this, my season 2 knowledge is far wobblier than season 1) that, what with Erica and Boyd leaving, but especially the Alpha Pack,  there's no reason for Derek to prioritize his personhood. Because what seems to be needed is bigger and scarier. Isaac by himself is not enough, because Derek is responsible for him.

Basically: Derek has gone through some pretty major traumas. He's still not over them. No one's character should be fully judged on their personality during that (just as no one should be judged on who they were at 15).

So, hey, if you like big scary growlface Derek Hale, that's your thing. Read all you want. But I don't think that's who he really is, and that portrayal of him doesn't do much for me.

[escalatedintodicks]

Happy belated Valentine's Day, hoechleberry!

In case you can't read my handwriting, the poem is as follows:

You would rather sleep on S

well, that's no cause for distress.

Me, I've always been a Z

but that's not important, you see.

Our different letters are no cause for blame;

after all, we share the same awesome name!

I really think that you are neat

the way you write crack and feelings just can't be beat.

But just that's not enough for you; 

you have to be a cool person, too.

I hope it won't cause a schism

if I say I don't know what to rhyme with "feminism"

I think paying attention to that stuff's an important mart to hit,

if you want to be a person who's not a shit.

But let me go back to what I said

about how with you, humor and serious analysis are wed.

Because if there's one thing that makes me blow my top,

it's the idea that, as you grow up, humor has to stop.

And sad things poison the humorous brain

once they happen, it can never be funny again.

But you mix them both, & do it well,

and what that does for me--oh, hell.

See, I'm at a part of my life where I've come to accept

I'm walking off the path well-kept

for the first time. I've never had a problem with nerve,

except, lately, that truth has begun to swerve.

Thinking about the future leaves me terrified

so it's nice to know that on this ride

there's someone, too

who can do silly and sad(I'm talking about you).

A bit creepy? Maybe, I own.

But what I'm saying is: it's nice not to feel alone.

And, as if that wasn't enough fun,

you also share my love of the pun.

In short, I think you're really fine

I hope you'll be my valentine.

Owlphallacies

[escalatedintodicks]

HATTERFIZZ! Your options are:

a hat full of fizz

some kind of signpost for a hatter named Fizz

a hat made out of bubbles

Hat or Fizz

signpost for the same hatter, but with fedoras this time

a creature made out of bubbles. I have no idea what that is, but the tie was an essential part of the design.

Enjoy!

[escalatedintodicks]

Visit Original Link

So here is chapter 1 of eriizabeto's Lunchtime. Here for safekeeping and all that stuff. And if you want to download it try https://www.box.com/files/0/f/582105074/Lunchtime hopefully that should work.