Escape.Hatch

Dissociative Abyss/Void

[escapehatchsworld]

Introduction:

The name I go by on here is Fritz. My blog is about mental health awareness. DNI: I am an adult so do not message if you are a minor. You can like and share if you relate but that’s all. DNI: Ableist, Transphobic, Racist, etc.

Facts about Me:

I am trans and currently transitioning.

I am Asexual/Panromantic.

I am polyamorous.

Clinically Diagnosed with C-PTSD, BPD, Depression, ADHD, Insomnia.

I have a suspicion that I have Autism, Depersonalization Disorder, and Maladaptive Dreaming Disorder too. I plan on finding out if those suspicions are right.

I experience heavy dissociation.

Due to ADHD I have a ton of hobbies. I love finding new things I enjoy and experimenting.

I am an Agere/Petre. It is one of MANY coping skills I use to get through life.

I am Emo/Alternative.

I love kawaii/dreamcore/weirdcore aesthetics.

I am 24 yrs old and am on a constant journey of recovery/self discovery.

I use neopronouns are well as they/them pronouns. My neopronouns are Abyss/Abysself and Void/Voidself.

[escapehatchsworld]

Gender Identity Post~

I am transmasc and I’ve recently discovered xenogenders and neopronouns. I want to talk about both things and maybe bring light to them. I came out as trans at 15. The first few years were rough trying to understand how I identify. I would settle on gender-fluid because my family wasn’t open to my being a man. This made me feel like I had to please everyone around me and settle on something everyone would be slightly okay with. DO NOT do that to yourself. It is so much heartache. Eventually, I concluded that I am a guy and no more negotiating would happen.

However, it still felt like at times my gender and how I view myself was just “OFF”. I experience dissociation as well as many other mental health struggles. Many times it felt like my gender was an endless void of some kind. As if I was in darkness. I couldn’t connect fully to my identity but I knew I wasn’t Fem or any of the other gender identities I would look at from time to time. I always felt masc but also felt like gender is solely a social construct and that my gender for me personally was either full or empty or endless.

That is when I discovered neopronouns without knowing what xeno or neo was at all. I looked at the neutral pronouns, found some I identified with, and added them to the pronouns I already use daily. My current pronouns became he/him, they/them, void/voidself, abyss/abysself, and cloud/cloudself. The last week I found out about xenogenders and what it means and that a lot of people who identify with it explain it differently and view it differently (depending on who you ask).

I see Xenogender (at least for me personally) as a way to describe my gender that isn’t coded in the binary. It’s a different way of explaining how I view myself as a whole that doesn’t include masc or fem or other common terms. It is like reading a book and seeing how the author describes their characters in depth. It is something that helps describe who I am as a whole. Something I identify with and feel connected to on top of my identity as transmasc.

My xenogenders are space gender and cloud gender. My other identity is trans (female to male) and I find the xenogenders add to this identity as a whole.

[escapehatchsworld]