fisher price guillotine

jove ✩ 24 ✩ they/it ✩ if i can't groove i swear to god i'll start throwing plates

[l-amplights]

[akihatohnoofficial]

[babushkaat]

[cottoncandylesbo]

why does he get to choose what candy goes where? it really isn't fair at all.

[mangonetics]

ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em

[supreme-leader-stoat]

On it, boss!

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Bad news, boss!

[fihas]

what people don’t realize about tumblr sexymen is a character being called one is a [bad] thing. the label was originally applied to characters that were lusted over by straight women who refused to engage with any other character who wasn’t a white twink. that’s why oncest exists. that’s why those bill cipher and wheatley gijinkas exist.

sans was a special case because people preferred his original design (short and not conventionally attractive) however the “refusal to engage with any other character” was very much still there like look at all of the AUs that were made specifically because of him.

the amount of mischaracterisation a character has to go through in order to truly count as a sexyman (and there’s about 20 sexymen proper) would cause most people to have a brain aneurysm like it sucks so bad.

times have drastically changed since the onceler, and the range of characters people hype up is far more diverse than it once was. the time period in which a character was most popular (between 2012 - 2018) is the most fundamental part in making them a sexyman.

this is why any sexyman poll made after the one that killed queen lizzy is completely null to me. 90% of the characters in them are just regular fan favourites like get this common real life dude out of there. if you could talk about liking a character with a coworker and not get viciously made fun of by them then that character is not a sexyman like that’s the full truth of the matter.

(this is also why anime boys like reigen and komaeda often count. hate for anything anime-based outside of the internet was especially egregious before 2020)

also. there is a huge distinction between “sexy man” and sexyman. this is why senshi does not count. Because he is genuinely sexy. My final message. Goodbye

[wizardshark]

hey can you guys keep an eye on my red explosive barrels while i go take a nap

do NOT smoke weed beside them

[blappature-executive]

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

[nyctosaurid]

barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

[nyctosaurid]

ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever. 

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons. 

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

[inkthecryptid]

This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”

[jakemorph]

the only “v” “tubers” i care about are the “root vegetables” i grow in my “vagina”. to all the haters who saw this post early on patreon and told me not to post it: kill yourselves, sincerely this time

[ivara]

[fakegeekguy]

So no one else has to look this up. She’s the creative director of Warframe.

[dogpuppy]

[markatoto]

dodge this

[huffylemon]

[miss-oranje]

have u guys noticed the phenomenon that's like

- m/f ship between a nonblack man & a Black woman

- it's either canon (e.g. mel/jayce arcane, arthur/guinevere bbcmerlin) or entirely plausible (e.g. prism or coupé/robert dispatch)

- fanbase overwhelmingly pairs nb man off with another nb man and disengages from the Black woman character, shunting her into a background wise & sassy caretaker role (for which there is a name) or leaving her out of fanworks entirely

- fans who do this ^ claim it is an expression of love and admiration for the Black woman character, actually, bc the nb man (who may be her canonical partner) "can't handle all that" (he may be perfectly competent and engaged; she may be totally low maintenance; it has no bearing), she's just too wonderful (too much) and out of his league (lacking in flaws and interiority and fan appeal)

have we all observed this and can we see the multiple dimensions in which it is racist ☝️ i'm not bringing it up to make any beautiful fujos feel bad abt shipping this or that, just to ask for some consideration of what ppl are saying abt Black women when they make their excuses to each other. like you can just not make the excuses. yk?

[miss-oranje]

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

they should make a wii fit for getting jacked

[woolay]

Wii fuck

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

funny how everyone thinks something like this is low hanging fruit when inn reality it’s high flying meat

[woolay]

Wii shit

[xefyre]

Dude don’t say that.

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

come on

[sea-of-bones]

Wii sleep. But a good night’s sleep where you actually feel rested when you wake up.

SKELETON

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

SKELETON

[flamingfoxninja]

SKELETON

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[muzzlesbian]

ublock origin is not enough i need advertisers to feel physical pain

[deadandwalking]

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.