let the tides carry you back to me

-------------------------------------------- the past, the future, through death

[escapetheinevitable]

[vavistus]

Half Man (2026)

[diamondmeadow]

Adding Phoenix’s tags because!!!!

[escapetheinevitable]

wtf am i doing i'm so tired

[soapulp-archive-deactivated2020]

you think youre so funny and cool huh. well you are. i love you

[lonelymoonlight-mp3]

@escapetheinevitable

[escapetheinevitable]

@lonelymoonlight-mp3

[cosimads]

JAMIE BELL as Niall Kennedy Half Man — Episode 4

[escapetheinevitable]

better not wake up feeling worse than i did when i went to sleep

[escapetheinevitable]

depression is crazy cause you will literally be halfway through an activity you enjoy and you suddenly go wait do i even like this. Do i like anything

[escapetheinevitable]

am i losing my actual mind or did i just watch i saw the tv glow 24 hrs ago and my cool down period is not over yet

[escapetheinevitable]

why the fuck would we go from the stress into the dread. Can i have 1 day

[arrangedaccident]

niall and ruben calling themselves brothers even though their parents couldnt be married and they only lived together for a few years. SICK. ruben constantly calling niall “son” and treating him like a child that needs to be guided through his firsts (even the ones a father shouldn’t guide) despite what his own father did to him. SICK. niall pulling ruben way from alby like a cliche soap opera housewife trying to stop her husband from beating her secret lover. SICK. not blood related and not even very brotherly but somehow incestuous in every direction. SICK!!

[celluloidrainbow]

WESTLER (1985) dir. Wieland Speck Felix from West-Berlin falls in love with Thomas in East-Berlin. At first they keep their relationship going by regular visits from Felix, but the curfew forces him to return every evening. When the East-German authorities become suspicious, Thomas decides to try and flee to the West. (link in title)

[escapetheinevitable]

i missed alby so much

[rattiefluffs]

[lonelymoonlight-mp3]

@escapetheinevitable

[apricustar]

insane production design choice to put a 1984 poster on niall’s bedroom door, because the immediate shorthand of the novel is obviously ‘big brother is always watching’—this idea of an omnipresent authority that continues governing your behavior even in moments of physical absence—which feels inextricable from the way ruben operates within the show. but what makes 1984 so genuinely horrifying is the psychological consequence of prolonged domination: the erosion of a private self, the way fear and control become so thoroughly internalized that the watcher no longer needs to stand in the room because he has already taken up residence inside you, rewriting how you understand love, loyalty, safety—and what you believe you deserve from all three.

that is exactly what ruben’s violence has done. even in his absence, everyone continues organizing themselves around him—anticipating him, contracting around wounds he opened years earlier, the past remaining not behind them but invasively, insistently present. he’s a specter lingering over everything.

which makes the placement on niall’s door so devastating, because this episode is about niall reaching—toward autonomy, toward a life expansive enough to finally contain honesty and desire. just away—far enough to exhale, far enough to start anew. and yet gadd frames his most private space with a novel about what total surveillance does to a person’s interiority and selfhood.

niall is trying to become someone. the poster is gadd telling you, in the most precise way possible, that big brother already got there first.

because in the end, winston smith—the protagonist of 1984—doesn’t just submit to big brother. he loves him.

[escapetheinevitable]

big words from somebody who is part of the problem

[buttholy]

every richard gadd interview these days is "I put on three thousand pounds of pure muscle so I could dwarf jamie bell to the point of extreme sexual dimorphism; I repeatedly told my trainers that I needed to discard my mortal flesh and transcend into The Thing that Fucks and Breeds and they were all very lovely and accomodating about it"