Tw:ED

Spammer I talk a lot lol I apologize in advance:,))

[esiphine]

Okay so I’m not really here and I’m like recovering but in a chill way where I’m trying to just be happy you know?that makes no sense but if yk yk lol Okay anyway, I got one of the smart weighted hula hoop things and it’s really fun I got it today so idk if it works but if y’all babes try this be careful cause it does bruise just a little for sensitive people yk? So be careful. I’ll let y’all know how it works on a chill level and alll that. I’m still here for you babes love you! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[esiphine]

Okay so this weekend I was literally out the whole time, I ate, but not much. I didn’t gain any weight I think I maintained I can’t remember if I lost any though lol like the little .1-9 part I know the big number is the same but the little number I think is less cause I’m at .1 now so yeah maybe lol i won’t keep track though, I’ll just keep going till I’m happy yk. I feel much more confident now and kinda happy but not fully, once Iose a little more I’ll be happy. I’m gonna try to eat more things to grow my butt a little cause, as long as I work out,I’ll still be losing weight just my foods will consist more of butt growing foods/workouts so hopefully that goes well. Okay my queens and kings it’s time for bed I am dead tired after a weekend of parenting (babysitting) literally alll weekend, even missed school for the little monster but it was fun,we had the house to ourselves while the actual parents went on vacation and all that. Okay sleep! Goodnight my babes love you!!!

[esiphine]

I think I’m gonna like not recognize me Ed for a little bit like I want to starve without the acknowledgment that I am starving so that is to delete tumblr and all that but like keep my account just in my computer and I’ll come back every now and then to check in with my babes cause just being gone for the weekend felt weird but it also felt refreshing just not thinking about all this like I’ll lose/maintain weight and all but it won’t be linked to anything…you know? Idk if it makes since but I know it’s not easy for everyone to do like I can easily just shut things of like I can easily get rid of a feeling (we’ll it’s still there but I basically just ignore it and increase another feeling like by watch funny or sad things or you know?) idk it might not make since but I’ll see you guys soon and I’ll stay semi active just I wont have it one my phone also I keep getting major anxiety cause I just let anyone play on my phone like I don’t care but then I remember this and I’m like ah so I want have to be like ah if I don’t have the app so I’m then I literally wont have anything much to hide so it’s a little bit of a relief and I don’t let anyone on my laptop so it’ll workout better just I wont be as active but I’ll let you know how it goes I’ll post a quick update after this post lol but I love you babes I hoe you guys understand lmao sorry I’m really not good at explaining thing (*´︶`*)♡

[esiphine]

Today was uhm idk. My class started something new today where we go out of class and shadow professionals and stuff and I had so much anxiety built up that I wasn’t sure how to act like I didn’t want to show how anxious I was just weird. But I didn’t eat much I had some popcorners and some spicy chips. I’m planning to hoped dance most nights if not every night. I burned 640 today yeah so uhm I still feel awkward and kinda anxious but it’s okay I’m fine great yep only have to do this shadow stuff every weekday besides Wednesday for 4 weeks yay so excited TvT hey but I’ll be walking a lot so there’s that and we don’t have breaks so no food lol it’s only a little under two hours so it’s not long but I don’t eat at school either way so uhm…yay walking!…..Goodnight my babes <3

[esiphine]

Uuugghh I hate…things

[esiphine]

Okay today was pretty okay. I didn’t eat in the morning till later and I got a green machine juice which has a lot but my dizzy self didn’t really care at that point lol then the person a babysit for gave me some food but she’s a health connoisseur so it was like these healthy soft tacos and they tasted pretty good but people expensive lol. I didn’t eat much today, I think I had some dark chocolate as well and then I just drank a little of my actually healthy green juice. I danced for about 30 mins, so I can go to bed earlier I did it for less time but I burned about 700 calories so I’m all good. Let’s hope Tomorrow goes well..Okay goodnight babes, I love ya. get some good rest and burn those cals~take care!!

[esiphine]

Ugh I wish I just had a naturally fast metabolism and naturally small bone structure. Life would be so good~

[esiphine]

Today I was feeling like very down but in a calm way just I don’t wanna say depressed but yk but i feel like a ate a little much (though to people with “normal” eating habits they’d think it too little) it felt like a lot so I dance for like an hour I burned over 900 calls is what my watch says. I completed all 3 of the goals on the watch by a lot again….I don’t have much to say, I’m still kinda feeling down and all that so I’ll probably just go to sleep~ today was still a good day other than my mood lol. I love you guys hope you all are doing well! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[esiphine]

Ah I’m so refreshed omg so yesterday I went on a two hour drive to a place and the back at night and it was so relaxing though I had to go to bed really late and wake up early for school I still feel refreshed omg and then today was a good day like I ate but it was okay you know? And I got to try one of those red fruit (I didn’t know Thames were fruits lmao) on a cactus and of course without the outside lol but it yk tasted pretty good idk the nutrition facts but I don’t wanna look probably healthy though and then I danced for like an hour and my watch says I’ve burned 720 calories and I’ve completed all my goals on there and frock I’m so happy today I really hope your guys days are going well too and if not o hope tomorrow or the next day or just ah have a good forever I love you guys I’ll try my best to stay active but I’ll probably be dealing with school stuff and dancing but I’ll definitely try to talk to you guys!! Love babes <3

[esiphine]

Okay dudes so I’ve been trying to figure out college stuff. Today I went and toured the college I’m planning on going to and I freaking loved it. Their gym is bomb Af, they’re getting in a rock climbing wall which will be all good by the time start going there so that’ll be really fun lmao though today was the first time I went rock climbing, they had this thing set up outside which was really dope and of course I climbed all the way to the top, it was really fun ack! I can’t wait for college. I haven’t eaten much today but Whatever I did eat was mostly junk but still not much of the junk lol I’m feeling pretty great and confident (๑>◡<๑)

[esiphine]

Y’all:))) my jeans are much looser than before. I’ve also “permanently” lost 2 more lbs. I got some healthy dark chocolate to help with some period symptoms. I’m not craving anything (sometimes I’m craving a bunch of things and then other times I completely lose my appetite) i guess I don’t have an appetite this time 👍 todays a pretty good day. Im feeling much more confident and comfortable and my period is lighter. Im trying to keep my period lol as much as I don’t want it I’ll probably regret the long term effects so I’ll try my best to keep it by eating at least healthy foods…hopefully lol

[esiphine]

Oh! Omg Also!! I got an Apple Watch so I can track how much calories I burn and all that. I did dance yesterday and burned 200+ cals. I couldn’t see how much throughout the day cause I was waiting for the case (I already cracked the screen-) I didn’t want to take it outside without it but it’s okay cause the case came today so I can start checking tomorrow!!! Ah I also want to mention I got an IPad and the watch for $200 together like wtf! They were used but they’re both really good quality still (well the watch is now broken but my bad lol) (I break too many things TT I need to chill or something) it was from a family friend so obviously a discount but I’m so happy. now I have have 3 expensive ace things that I bought with my own money(°▽°) like I’m able to actually do things (like buy fat burning pills without anyone knowing~) *sigh* not looking forward to paying rent though TT one more year but I’m happy to finally move out and all that. okay anyway goodnight babes ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[esiphine]

I started “that time of the month” dude bUt there is one good thing about that which is I lose my appetite completely so yay! lol. I’ve been working a lot. I’ve had school projects stacked on a bunch of assignments and then actual work and helping people (for free-_-) and I’m tired TT but it’s alright I’m burning more calories and eating much less so ∩^ω^∩

[esiphine]

I haven’t eaten a meal in idk how long but I’ve been having things like rice cakes and sugar free low cal candies/snacks I haven’t gained weight yeah but I know I’ll die before next month if don’t eat real food/meals or at-least get my greens in lol so I bought this very healthy (and very freaking expensive) green juice as well as a fruit one because the green one taste like shat so i mix them together . I can get my veggies and fruit in and then I’ll probably also snack less but I probably won’t have meals unless my mom feels like making something Lmaoo…I’m gonna die-

[esiphine]

I love feeling my bones. Like I know have meat on other places but like at the same time my wrist, ankles, collar bones just touching those meatless places makes me feel happy.

[esiphine]

I bought more rice cakes :))))

[esiphine]

Today was my brothers birthday so I only drank my Celsius and had my vitamin with a sip of low calorie no added sugar fruit punch body something (i forget what it’s called-) which I’m just gonna do everyday till I actually start getting faint again cause I just want to lose weight and I’m starting not to care anymore lol Anyway, I only drank my caffeine until we had all that birthday stuff (^-^)v…kinda want to cry…instead I’ll sleep. Goodnight <3