you'll be my refuge.

these walls tell stories i have heard before.

[esperhood]

#ZORA : I MADE A DEAL TO SELL MY SOUL / BUT LATELY I HAVE BEGUN TO HOPE.

an independent & low - activity multimuse roleplay blog for various dislyte canon & original characters, written by rain ( they / she / he  ).  headcanon - based, not spoiler free.   RULES & MUSE LIST.

#BLOGROLL : sunhalf, pokechosen, badnikbreaker, ahlite, devolusion, sbjct0, overclouded, wholewitch, esperhood, ghoullest.

[esperhood]

@heartinhands : “  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ” ( idk junpei for yuuhime thats the not 999 one right )

She looks at him blankly for a long moment. Then, "I've been told I have a 'resting sad wet cat face.' I just look like this."

[esperhood]

@spirestar : “  i have faith in you.  ” ( annie for yuuhime ) / accepting.

From most others, the words wouldn't mean much. Perhaps not most; so few are kind to Yuuhime, so few see Yuuhime. Only her beloved brother comes close, and his sweetness comes with gilded cages and a collar that is lined with velvet; it doesn't bruise or burn away her skin like the old one did, but she is still a monster on the end of another's leash. The only one, aside from Annie, who has been kind to her since Mother and Father were killed, really, is Tang Xuan. And ——

Tang Xuan is as kind as Annie is, and has experiences his own kind of loss, and she is so grateful for the saving he will surely fail at. But he doesn't understand, not really, the total stripping of autonomy, identity — he can't know what it feels to look in a mirror and not recognize the person there, because it isn't a person in the mirror, really.

Yuuhime smiles faintly. From most others, the words would be empty. From Annie, they wound. Another stolen from her family for use as a tool / puppet / and they both long for freedom but know they'll fall and strike the ground and shatter if they cut the strings keeping them aloft. But Annie is better than the weapon called Yuuhime is, and the weapon can't remember the child with a different name well enough to know if Annie was better than her. Annie is kinder, braver, better. Yuuhime is too exhausted to feel guilt, except she's not, really. She's just too weak to fight back, risk another punishment. They're worse, coming from her beloved brother, who ripped apart his own puppet strings and bound hers tighter.

"I don't think I've earned that..." the woman says softly, empty, pain blooming in her hollow chest where nothing should be. She imagines tugging the stitching out and watching what spills out of her. "I would be sad if you were disappointed because of me..."

[esperhood]

im adding xuan pin :D

[spirestar]

For a moment, Meryl is quiet. She's a good listener, has to be in her line of work, and she only taps her journal against her palm twice in thought before she responds: "Not at all. I just didn't realize anyone else had the same idea as me." Her friendly smile doesn't waver for a moment / She sits down in a fluid motion and has her hand extended for a shake faster than Brynn can blink. "Meryl Stryfe. I come up here to write, too. Not music, though--That's really impressive Ms. Brynn." Everything about her bleeds absolute focus, each movement is measured and every word precise. After a second, she grins a little self-consciously like she's quickly realized how she sounds and her tone dips warmly to better match the friendliness of her words. "I never thought about musicians liking the quiet, too."

[esperhood]

Ms. Brynn — cute. The rocker's head tilts, smile widening, all easy charisma and confidence. It's simple to be at ease around others when you know your worth and know the worth of others, too — it's a fairly recent development for Brynn, but one she's glad for. "Thank you, Ms. Meryl!" Besides — nowadays Brynn works with so many people with so many strange quirks that a little extra formality hardly bothers her. "What do you usually write? If you don't mind my asking."

[esperhood]

i was talking about the world with fer and it is sort of both very funny and very sad that like...dislyte takes in a post - apocalyptic world, obviously. humanity is overtly going extinct, huge percentages of the world's population ( up to 50%!! ) have been wiped out, there are a handful of cities still surviving but most major metropolitan areas are destroyed, and that's not even getting into any place that didn't have the infrastructure in place to defend when the miracles attacked — some rural places extremely far removed from the miracles are okay, but most rural towns are just...gone. and miracles just pop up randomly sometimes — thinking about gaius's trailer, and how a normal day in the city gets fucking wrecked — so even if you are in one of the well - protected cities like utgard, there's always a nonzero that another miracle just pops up and destroys everything.

and everyone just sorta...keeps on keepin' on! the average person's day to day concern is about going to the salon or the movies. there are still elections and ballets. the average dude is much more concerned with getting to work on time. and it's just sort of funny that humanity is rapidly going extinct and there's no real infrastructure in place to prevent that — the esper union and the shadow decree are trying, in their own ways — and the average dude is like. Anyway. Who Wants To Go On This Fancy Cruise With Me!

[dandeydraws]

kinda wild how long it took me to draw these two considering they're my faves

[esperhood]

people have attempted to save yuuhime before — only a few, but it's happened. someone discovers that she's being puppeteered and seeks to help. she's often been forced to kill these people herself once her master realized — a sort of punishment for being foolish enough to think she could depend on others. the first time she had to kill such a person — a person trying to save her, to free her — she was twelve years old.

yuuhime is more than willing to sacrifice lives to get herself free — she didn't care that there was a good chance that harutani and masato would be killed. but those were people that were at least partially responsible for her lifetime of suffering — they deserved no better than they got. and i don't think she'd have a meaningful problem getting strangers killed, either. but she can't bear to imagine someone she cares for sincerely being killed for trying to save her — or, worse, her being forced to kill them herself.

[esperhood]

gaius and li guang continue to be friends; he checks on her regularly, and she likes to reach out to update him when something exciting or funny happens in her life. because of li guang's nature as a wanderer, and because so much of his childhood was spent with fabrice, li guang can sometimes be difficult to reach and often fails to respond quickly — he's just not used to people who really want to stick around! that being said, she's really happy to know gaius, and deeply touched that he's continued to reach out to her.

[esperhood]

fall in love w yuuhime this is my challenge 2 u

[heartinhands]

"Huh?" Ed glances at the VHS in his hand; a request, actually, from Winry, mecha-maniac that she is. "This?"

He hesitates. If he walks back empty-handed, Winry is going to be sure to punch him square in the head--she'd already begged and pleaded Ed to make the trip to the shop on her behalf since she was going to be working overtime--but...well, the lady looks surprisingly miserable. And Ed, who doesn't care about mecha anime beyond the occasional episode of Gundam that Winry's forced him to watch with her, gives in.

"Well geez...here ya go." He offers it out to her with a very forward flourish of his arm. "Look, my girlfriend's real into that stuff, so I know it might sound weird, but if I give you her number, ya gotta promise you'll watch it with her." He sounds a little pathetic when he says, "Please."

[esperhood]

Her euphoria is overwhelming; her expression twitches into a relieved, weak smile. This is the best day of her life. With this, even her existence as less - person - more - puppet will be bearable, at least for a while longer yet. She takes the object, holding it close to her chest, and nods at the other's request before she's truly processed it. Once she does — oh.

Being around people isn't...bad. It's hard to focus, sometimes, her brain goes all static, the safeguards her old master and her new one built into her occupying more of her brain with more space to slip. But she'll endure it for Tetsujin.

And so — a shallow nod. "Yes, of course. My schedule is a bit...challenging to work around, but I'm sure we can find time. Do you...want any money, also? Or just for me to...spend time with your girlfriend."

[esperhood]

@spirestar from ———— strangers on rooftops.

"Yeah!" It's an upbeat syllable, and she bounces on her heels alongside; it feels rare, these days, to meet anybody who doesn't at least sort of know her. It's nice! Brynn loves being a rockstar - slash - hero, but it's nice to feel more like a person than a product. "When I've gone through something hard, or I'm feeling a lot, I write to make sense of what's going on inside me. Helps me deal with everything!" He moves closer and takes a seat near the other — though not so near, he hopes, that they're crossing any boundaries. "I'm Brynn, by the way! Hope I'm not intruding on your spot."

[dawnight]

" I am a member, yes, "

Leora observed the woman before her, eyes moving up and down as if scanning her for anything suspicious. In meetings with strangers, and not casual civilians at that, one can never be too careful. Who knows, a simple detail missed could land you a blade through your gut, better to be careful than to be dead.

A lesson she once forgot, and almost paid dearly for.

Her arms cross as her gaze softens ever so slightly at the womans words, giving a form of praise to the Union members. Leora would know all about it, many have shown her such kindness since her joining, and she cherishes every person she met dearly.

" Many of my fellow Espers carry a heart of gold... though I am pleased to see you've had a good experience, " she stops, her head tilts to the side, curious

" Might I ask which ones you've met? "

[esperhood]

The puppet girl nods at the inquiry / and at the woman's sharp eyes. Better to trust no one. Yuuhime understands that, now, and it was foolish when she hadn't. ( the mirror would make her laugh, if she knew. trusting a sibling / spat on by that sibling. ) It is good, that she does not trust her. It is good. Yuuhime is used to being alone, and it doesn't hurt. Nothing hurts so long as she doesn't allow herself to feel.

"I am...familiar with Mr. Tang," she answers, voice soft, eery but polite as ever. "He helped me." He is still trying to help her. She's afraid of what will happen — to him, to her — if he keeps trying. She doesn't want to be used to kill someone she's come to care for. "He said that was his...duty as an Esper." a duty they might share / a duty she's shirking, but it isn't her fault. she didn't choose this.

[esperhood]

yuuhime, previously, kept herself alive primarily because she trusted yamato; yamato had a plan to free them, and she trusted that he would succeed. she didn't bet on him taking control of her, however. once he did, she quickly became even more despondent than she had been previously and, especially at the beginning, stuck in the initial misery...her mental state is bad at a base level, but it was really, really horrific. she attempted suicide, and...couldn't.

she just — couldn't. her body wouldn't do it. trying to push it prompted burning pain throughout her body, like the punishments her old master built into her should she try to share any information about him. she sobbed, furious and desolate, for hours. her brother had known she would try, and had altered her not to allow it. her brother would not even offer her the mercy of a death. not while he still had use for her.

she still wants to get free, and will do so by any means necessary. but death is increasingly looking like the best option she has, and so she will continue to look for ways to die.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY VARRIC TETHRAS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age ii

maybe he likes you.

ugh, i think i got blood on my coat.

you must have me confused with someone else.

how do you know that he doesn't know that you know that he knows that you know, you know?

we're in trouble here!

that's a bit far, don't you think?

they're busy people. places to go, throats to cut.

you're making me cry just looking at you.

you made a mistake. it happens.

well, it's not a good story unless the hero dies.

a lot of people are afraid to come here at night.

not the brightest thing you could've done.

it practically screams "nothing fun ever happens here!"

i spend way too much time here.

everyone stay still and try not to make any loud noises.

my favorite spot in the whole city.

better luck in the next life!

and the trend of you scaring the piss out of me continues.

i'm helping you indulge in elaborate revenge fantasies. i think it's good for you.

i'm getting too old for this shit.

i'll let you run your fingers through it if you want.

hey! i'm a perfect gentleman! in public.

oh, that's you smiling? glad you clarified that. i'd never have known.

i need some details. did you go down on one knee?

so what's on your mind?

i've had my oppression for the day, thanks.

want a drink? i'll put it on my tab.

you are no fun anymore.

it is true what they say. the best comedy comes from tragedy.

you could have just stopped me.

grab something sharp and pointy! we've got company!

line them up for me, i'll take them down!

you've been glowering for days. your face is going to get stuck that way.

you're larger than life.

i've been trying to forget about that all week.

what are you hiding? nobody's this bloody clean.

we're discussing knives. well, daggers, technically.

we've got more on the way!

nothing i'm doing seems to work!

i'd buy the guy a drink, but i don't think he needs one.

hope this works!

i'm going to need more aliases.

just curious. does any of this make sense to you?

i like the way you think.

well how about a giant sign that just says "don't." you could hit people with it.

and you want me to set the record straight? i'm honored.

i'm just surprised.

if you wanna punch a few stalagmites on the way there, that's good too.

that is... not a comforting thought.

you can't even pretend to be interesting, can you?

you know, if you need advice on how to lay low i can give you some.

are you for real?

the scary thing is, i don't know if you're joking!

it's possible they're just scared shitless of you.

moping, then. you seem like you're a champion at it.

you know, i might be able to give you a hand with that.

and here i've always looked up to you. what is it now?

more of them? great! i was starting to get lonely!

what is this smell?

i don't mean to sound critical, but have you considered a new line of work?

he eats babies, though. and farts fire.

if you've got something to say, just spit it out.

i get that a lot.

really? you're not at all jealous?

i don't care what people say, the sound of waves is not soothing.

why is it nobody ever seems happy to see us?

that could have gone better.

that's why i don't take sides.

nobody said this was going to be a happy story.

i'm too good looking to die this young.

i'm not going to make it!

first person to help me out here is my new best friend!

[esperhood]

"Oh." The woman's voice would be crestfallen were it not so flat; even then, there's something vaguely miserable about the syllable. Yuuhime gazes past the other, to the item in their hand — a VHS tape. A rare copy of the very first mecha anime, Tetsujin 27 - Go; she'd rushed to the shop the very moment she'd heard it was here, but a mission kept her up, and now it seems another's beat her to finding the gem.

But — but maybe there's still hope —— "I — I would pay quite a lot for that, if...if you'd be willing to let me buy it instead."

[esperhood]

“Hey ——” The word fades into the air, but the inhale before the next gives them the strength the syllable lacked, “you’re really hurt!”  The girl rushes to the other, hands hovering anxiously around their body.  “I’m no healer, but I can at least get you bandaged — what happened?”