it's not meant to be a struggle uphill @esteeayen - Tumblr Blog

i identify so much with this

(about to say something indicative of my deteriorated mental state) right, i just want you to know that i cannot stop thinking of this structure as a tower and i wish you would acknowledge it being a tower

trainstationgoodbye

Anne Hathaway in Ocean’s 8 (2018) Dir. Gary Ross

#Was reminded last night how this gifset is a vital pillar of my personality #Like wow #faves

witchpassing

[white-knuckling a submachine gun] i'm never puppy stressed when i do my puppy best

i have 22 years old syndrome and they are telling that it's incurable.

#draft from december. About to turn 23 and they still haven't found a cure yet. Devastating #Im about to flip my life completely on its head in a few months and i do not know what is gonna happen #Scary but also like. When have i ever known what is gonna happen #my posts

7dmom

Oh my gosh you.would be so cute if you weren't a broken person but you are a broken person unlike me who has moved beyond every bad thing that happened to me even ough the world hates me

melonflavored

I feel like a butt mogged zoomer myself at times

esteeayen

i was feeling good about everything but seriously now it feels like i’m blissfully walking in the right direction but there’s a looney tunes trail of gunpowder leaking from my back pocket

esteeayen

1 HR LATER.

i was feeling good about everything but seriously now it feels like i’m blissfully walking in the right direction but there’s a looney tunes trail of gunpowder leaking from my back pocket

#Like jesus christ does this shit ever end?#i feel like i am so bad at loving people because my frustration seems to be endless. What’s going on #my posts #dl #And it’s one of those situations like Well maybe i don’t want to know the truth

gooberjam

#foundational texts

esteeayen

Going to be entering my fagslut era soon. Any day now.

esteeayen

Any day now

#ok done being a girl for winter and spring. Back to being a gay guy for the summer #Does anyone know how flirt at the club i’m so fucking bad at it

chamomile-teabag

WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me

#Lambda by David Musgrave #a reread. i think about this book constantly. ive rec’d to so many people and no one has read it.#Someone for the love of god read this weird book so i can talk about it #A lambda function is a small anonymous function.

I gotta play gay chicken with a dl line cook again 🚬🚬🚬

#that shit was a nightmare but bc i was unaware it was gay chicken #I Know What To Do This Time #my posts #dl

anglaised

everything is inevitable and has happened before

#I’ve hit that point in the cycle. NOT AGAIN

the best part about having an assembly line job is when you do the same thing over and over again, the deep, deep recesses of your brain make themselves apparent to you. and more often than not, The Duck Song is lurking in one of those dark corners, just begging to be remembered

#Genuinely this shit comes completely unprompted every time i clock in #Like today i said to myself ‘No one knows why’ in the cadence of a lyric from a musical i loved in middle school. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM #Jasper In Deadland? 🚬🚬🚬 I haven’t heard that name in years….#but usually i will just tune out of my brain for a second while doing a task #and then when i tune back there’s suddenly a song i haven’t thought about in 10 years playing #my posts

sawed-on-shotgun

Im glad they made up romance for stories and music but can you imagine how scary it would be to deal with all that for real

1990danieljohnston

it started raining and i couldn’t help but think about one of john cage’s letters to merce cunningham. that’s definitely something that lives rent free in my tiny lil ant brain

1990danieljohnston

i swear to god…………………………….

#‘Babe i saw you reb—‘#NO!!!! IM NOT!!! FUCKKKK

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it's not meant to be a struggle uphill