ok wait i am going to talk about this a little more but genuinely finishing they're sending us peppers has made me so happy in a content & calm way because it's reassuring that i can produce and publish content like this. losing the ability to publish Elysium's Prime bc of collaborators getting "cold feet" genuinely took a huge toll on my life and i thought that i was never going to make stuff like again. and then i got to work on some different sound stuff for various sculptures & my thesis, but they aren't really stories the way that Elysium's Prime was. and i've been embarrassed at calling TSUP a podcast/trying to find a different word for it, but through and through it's a fiction podcast.
after EP crumbled, i had a really meaningful conversation with a professor where i asked him what it was like to lose a body of work. and he told me that it really is a grieving process when you spend months and months on a piece of art (or a goal in general) and for whatever reason, it just doesn't work out. but the most important thing to remember is that work ISN'T all lost -- reflection on what you learned, even if it never took a tangible form, is what you got out of that body of work. and i really learned so much on that project that i carry with me everyday. and finally, FINALLY! after using those skills and ideas constantly, i have something tangible again.
i think there are literally more than 100 hours of EP on my hard drive, and I definitely spent WAY more than 100 hours crafting the story, scheduling, organizing setup, recording, editing, mixing, and just dreaming about what i could achieve next. and peppers is just the first step in having 100 hours of new ideas :) and 1 million more hours of my audio software crashing :)
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