Butterflies

Now you're liftin' me up, 'stead of holdin' me down Stealin' my heart, 'stead of stealin' my crown Untangled all the strings 'round my wings that were tied I didn't know him and I didn't know me Cloud nine was always out of reach Now I remember what it feels like to fly You give me butterflies

[estellerosecartwright]

professordaneward·:

Who: @fallbrookstarters·

Where :  Outside the Art Museum.

Dane had just finished being a speaker at the art museum and although he had enjoyed speaking on post modernism, he now needed to just take some time off and grab a bite to eat and something to drink.  He finished chatting to the people who had come to the event and then excused himself and left to head out to the garden French restaurant. As he walked out the door he bumped into someone and turned round to apologise and smiled. “ Sorry I didn’t see you there, probably best I put my glasses on.” He said and pulled out his glasses from his chest pocket of his suit and slid them on. “ You ok?”

-

Estelle loved art. It wasn’t something she often talked about or expressed because it was in fact something she enjoyed to take in alone. She wasn’t sure why, it had been a habit she adopted in college and one that she never wanted to stop. However, on this particular day she found herself getting caught up in some otherwise unpleasant memories. By the time she’d walked out the door, she thought she even saw her friends face across the street, causing her to halt mid exit. “Oh my gosh, yes--I’m fine. I’m so sorry, I’m just. A bit of a mess right now. You’re um--Professor Ward right?”

[estellerosecartwright]

nathanmoore·:

Where: Hilltop Cafe  Who @fallbrookstarters·

For the first time in what felt like years Nathan was off on a weekend. Off, off. Not on call, not off at night. Off as in Friday to Sunday he didn’t have to do anything at the hospital. So this past weekend was spent binging tv shows on Netflix and eating junk food cause he knew full well what Monday would bring. Nathan loved his job as a surgeon, but he also dreaded the start of a long week after a long weekend off. So he was going to spend the last bit of his weekend having a fun time. “I actually haven’t left my room is two days and I can official say I’ve lived the hermit -man-cave life. You know it’s frowned upon? Total bull shit. I just ate my weight in popcorn and binged watched the first four seasons of Law and Order SVU. Olivia Benson damn, she can come arrest me anytime she wants.” Nathan said laughing. “Anyways how was your weekend?”

-

Estelle’s mouth dropped open as he talked about how he’d spent the weekend. She simply couldn’t imagine doing nothing like that for two full days. It was unfathomable to the woman. “I am not sure if I am grossed out by you, or if I am a little envious. But I don’t think I could manage to do that, SVU or not. I do love a good SVU binge but, more like, one to two episodes before I go to bed.” She explained. “It was fine. Productive.” She smirked at him with her light tease. “There was a charity event at the church so I was pretty heavily involved in the planning, then the executing.”

[estellerosecartwright]

riverlaurent·:

·

.·

River approached Estelle noticing that she’d been crying. He ignored it for now, not wanting to upset the girl. Nodding his head, he smiled at her. “Somewhat, you want to listen” he said bumping his shoulder against hers. Swinging his guitar from behind his back to the front. He always had his guitar with him when he was at work, those were the perks of working at a music store.

-

“Uh--yeah sure!” She spoke, a bit to cheerily for the normal sentiment. Estelle wasn’t sure if she did want to listen just because music had always been such a powerful part of her life. And she wasn’t sure what sort of song he was going to play. What if it was a sad one and made her cry more? She couldn’t let that happen. However, she’d already agreed to hear it. So she supposed the risk had already been taken.

[estellerosecartwright]

Estelle wiped a tear away from her face. It was understatement that it would be rare to see the woman crying any place other than the confines of her own bedroom. But she’d felt more out of control of her life than ever before. And with the anniversary of her friends death approaching, Estelle was hard pressed to keep it together at certain moments. Suddenly she noticed River coming towards her, and Estelle perked up her demeanor as quickly as ever. “Hey River--how’s um--you write any good music lately?”

@riverlaurent​

[estellerosecartwright]

mateoxperez·:

“I don’t think you had to try that hard,” though, thinking back, he figured that as a young teen babysitting, the last thing he wanted was a friendship. At least, at times. The baseball player did have a reputation to uphold but he didn’t recall ever outright being a dick. Mateo let out a small laugh, nodding his head. “Wine it is.” He agreed to her suggestion. Listening as the woman before them explained the wines, Mateo knew this was going right over his head. As the explanation came to an end, Mateo looked over at Estelle with raised brows, “okay, walk me through this in kindergarten terms.”

-

Mateo had always seemed to see things in her that others never tended to notice. Those that she let get close to her noticed, sure. But Mateo wasn’t exactly one of those people. However, being that he had watched her when she was young, she supposed there was something to watching someone grow up. It was nice feeling noticed for once, even if she wasn’t sure who she was being noticed as. Estelle took small sips of the samples that were offered as the woman spoke, turning back towards Mateo when she had invited them to go on the tour portion of the day. “Alright basically you’ve got your sparkling wines and aromatics. Tuscany specializes in aromatics--which isn’t the best of wines in my opinion but it’s not like we’re in the south of France.” As they were walking, she felt a couple of raindrops fall on her head. Quick to shield herself from the rain, she looked towards the guide. “Uh--ma’am, it looks like it’s going to rain. Actually scratch that, it’s literally raining.” She stated, in hopes of getting them out of the rain. Estelle wasn’t fan, much less her hair.

[estellerosecartwright]

extremebeckies·:

One ‘n Only: @estellerosecartwright·

After spending the past twenty minutes grumping about how much she hated that dress she had to wear for hours, she realized she had been speaking about herself for so long that she wasn’t really checking up on Estelle. She knew things were tense at the Cartwright home and it only felt right to inquire. “So, how’s dad?” she asked softly, reaching out to take ahold of her friend’s hand as they walked over to a bench where they could sit. The one thing she knew for sure was that things were at least hopefully going much smoother than they were with her own mother. It was a never ending cycle of Becky trying to impress the woman and quite frankly she was tired.

-

Estelle had always found a grumpy Becky a bit entertaining. She always had great zingers to say through her frustrations that would have Estelle cackling. So she didn’t mind the complaints one bit. Plus, it wasn’t like she wanted to be here, wearing this dress and schmoozing with all of her father’s friends. She’d rather be with Chase, or with Becky, but with Becky anywhere else. She wasn’t too keen when the subject changed to her father, however she did know that she needed to open up about it. And Becky was one of the only people she knew how to. “Oh I don’t know. Think he’s just been stressed about unveiling his new development plan for over by Draper Forest.” She shrugged, knowing that an underlying tension between her and her father had been brewing for a while now. And he knew it too. “I don’t know Beck’s, it’s stressful. For both of us. I love him but, I don’t know if we want the same things." That was something she'd never thought she'd hear herself admit out loud. And she wasn't sure if the words were even true in a way. “How do you deal with your mom?”

[estellerosecartwright]

The bell rang over the door of Sweet Tooth Bakery, alerting her presence as she turned her head towards the counter hoping to find a one Maya Taylor. She had seen some of her sculptures recently and found herself interested in the woman’s talents. “Ah, Ms. Maya Taylor, just who I was hoping to see. Would you happen to have a moment to talk about your sculptures? I recently encountered your work and had an idea--well a job really--potentially, if you’d be interested that is.” Estelle was quick to get straight to the point, always in a rush, always making the best use of time, especially when it came to her job.

@mayaxtaylor​

[estellerosecartwright]

celineedcz·:

&

Truthfully, Celine hadn’t been paying attention to who walked in the door. No one was on the schedule right now, so she knew it would most likely be a sort of walk in. And Aurelia was busy today, that had been the truth. But looking up to see Estelle, Celine smiled, her smile shifting from polite to friendly. “Hey Estelle. Not really, it’s a lot of budget meetings today, sadly. Thankfully I only have to sit in on a few of them.” Those meetings always put Celine to sleep, it was usually over her head too and of little interest to her. “Go ahead, you know where the copier is. What kind of blueprints are they? Can I take a look at them?” Now blueprints? That interested her. It made her hanker for the days she was working in design and architecture herself. 

-

“Ah yes, budget meetings. Don’t tell my dad but, I have to drink an entire cup of coffee immediately before budget meetings at the firm because they’re so boring.” Her dad frequented City Hall, being the donor and developer that he was. Estelle was around sometimes too, but not quite as often as her father. It was always nice to run into Celine. “Yeah, just trying to get some permits for a new apartment building in town. I guess my dad thinks the town is ready for a whole renaissance or something like that--I don’t know.” Estelle was about to turn towards the copier when Celine asked about them, “You want to look at blueprints?” She rolled the blueprints out for Celine to see the layout of the building itself, and then the apartments inside as well.

[estellerosecartwright]

mictyler·:

 “Pfft, shut up!” Mic said, even though a small smile lingered on his lips while he leaned back a bit in his seat. He just shrugged a little at her question. “I dunno, just how I am.” He told her. He had been like this ever since his dad had died, and since he had had to help out and grow up a lot sooner than he would have liked. “Hyped-ish is still pretty hyped though.” He stated. “Got any plans for the holiday?”

-

She snickered as she leaned back into her chair. It was pretty fun to rile Mic up, especially because it was just so easy to do. Estelle lifted her hands up as if to surrender, “Alright, keep your brooding to yourself. I won’t pry.” She figured there had to be some sort of reason, least of which had to do with his father. Estelle remembered the rumors from back in high school even though he was a bit older. “Well compared to you--” She laughed to herself again, “Sorry, sorry, you just make it so easy Mic what can I say?” Her head shook before answering his question, “Not really, just a whole bunch of hullaballoo like the Cartwright’s always do. If it’s not big and in your face, then we haven’t done it right I guess. What about you?”

[estellerosecartwright]

dalilaxrodriguez·:

“No need to riot through the town, though I won’t lie, I would actually love to see that. Estelle Cartwright rioting through the town, who would have a hay day about that?” She wiggled her brows teasingly as she imagined the woman doing just that. “I love what I do,” which everyone that knew Dalila, knew. The restaurant, named after her mother, was her entire life. It wasn’t much to Dalila to own it, but to also work as a chef there. She wanted to bring people the same joy she got when she had her mother’s cooking. The meals never ceased to disappoint her growing up. And having to deal with her father’s cooking for a time afterwards, Dalila had quickly taken it into her own hands to feed the family. Even if she was the youngest. No one else had quite the same affinity for cooking as she did. 

-

She chuckled softly, actually imagining the literal idea of her rioting through town. Estelle wasn’t sure that was truly in her nature, however, if the cause were a righteous one you might find her doing just that. And if there were ever a worthy cause, Dalila’s wonderful heart and spirit was one to stand up for. “It would be sight but, I’d say it’s a worthy cause.” She offered with a nod of her head. “You’re one of those rare people who truly got to follow their dreams and realize them. Now you just gotta land that man of yours. How’s Damien doing these days? You guys back together yet?”

[estellerosecartwright]

extremebeckies·:

-

Rebecca knew that many envied her confidence. Often times, her ability to keep her head high through all adversity was what kept her from going mad. Estelle was beautiful, clearly intelligent and the world was her oyster if she just took advantage of it. Becky wanted her to take life by the horns and ride that thing out until it was tired of her. “Estelle.. I can guarantee that your father wouldn’t replace you for the finest diamond in the world. You’re priceless and he knows that. Don’t let anything that may come out of his mouth make you forget who you are.” And she meant every word of that, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her friend’s forehead as she rubbed her back.

-

Becky’s friendship was one Estelle cherished very deeply. She was everything Estelle wished that she could be one day, her bravery and heart unmatched by anyone else she’d ever met. But in her heart, she also knew she wasn’t Becky. And she needed to carve out her own path, likely one that her father wasn’t going to be too fond of. She just wasn’t exactly sure what that was yet. “I know, you’re right. I just worry--that love has it’s limits, if I don’t stick to ‘The Plan’.” She wished she was referring to something arbitrary, but in fact, The Plan had been a part of her life from a very young age.

[estellerosecartwright]

lennoxnovack·:

x

She grinned. “Thank you. I appreciate that compliment.” She laughed and looked at her. “I’m sure that’s true.” And she was sure they were content with it, but she couldn’t see herself being like that. She was too free to be confined in something like that. “Always. There’s nothing I’m better at than boosting confidence.” She said with a smile before it grew. “You do? Who is it? Are they amazing? I mean, I’m sure they are because you’re with them, but oh my god, that’s great.”

-

It was an interesting concept, that she was supposed to be so free with all of the money and power that swirled around her on a daily basis. But somehow, she felt more caged by it than anything. She envied Lennox, a free spirit no doubt. “It’s a good quality to have, I bet you have lots of friends.” She noted, unsure if she was becoming a friend to Lennox or not yet. “They’re incredibly amazing. I’m super lucky that he even likes me--and puts up with me.” And the cage I put our relationship in, she thought. Estelle avoided the question about who it was, leaving that fact only available to those that she was closest to. “What about you, mm?”

[estellerosecartwright]

what is something your muse has never told anyone? why?

Estelle believes that she is the reason her best friend is dead. She hides this really well and works through it with her therapist, but it still hasn't gotten through to her that if she hadn't let her get behind the wheel, she would still be alive.

[toadmemes]

* WNRS HEADCANON QUESTION PROMPTS ,

THE WHAT'S.

what's been your muse's happiest memory?

what has been your muse's earliest recollection of happiness?

what are five lessons your muse learned the hard way?

what lesson took your muse the longest to un-learn?

what is a dream your muse let go of?

what part of your muse's life works what part of their life hurts?

what's the most unexplainable thing that happened to your muse?

what could have your muse done better in previous relationships?

what is your muse's biggest regret?

what is something your muse has never told anyone? why?

what is one positive and negative thing about your muse?

what did the people who raised your muse teach you about love?

what is your muse passionate about?

what's the first thing others noticed about your muse?

what is your muse's type in three (or more) words?

what is an assumption that is often made about your muse?

what did your muse want to be as a child?

what compliment does your muse hear the most?

what subject did your muse thrive at in school? did they fail any?

what is something your muse needs to hear right now?

what does your muse fear the most?

what's the worst pain your muse has ever been in that wasn't physical?

what is hardest for your muse to understand?

THE IS AND IF'S.

is your muse lying to themselves about anything?

is your muse more afraid of failure or success? why?

if your muse could get to know someone in their life on a deeper level who would it be and why?

is your muse unaware of something about themselves?

if your muse had to chose: would they prefer someone cheering them up, or being left alone when they're in a foul mood?

is your muse missing anyone right now?

if your muse had to admit, what went wrong in their last relationship?

is your muse like what they are expected to be?

is your muse more of a creative or analytical type? explain.

if your muse had to rank following in importance: family, career, love life, what would they say?

if your muse could change their name, what would it be?

is your muse someone who would get a name tattooed on themselves? why or why not?

if your muse had to let go of something, what should it be?

is your muse afraid to be themselves?

if your muse could go back in time, would they? why?

is your muse proud of themselves? why or why not?

is your muse in denial about anything? explain.

if your muse had to choose: would they prefer being the heartbreaker or being heartbroken?

THE HOW'S.

how can your muse become a better person?

how old does your muse feel emotionally?

how does your muse deal with being alone? do they thrive or struggle?

how can you turn your muse off the most?

how can you turn your muse on the most?

how does your muse show gratitude? do they?

how close is your muse to their mom, dad and/or guardian?

how does one earn your muse's vulnerability?

how does your muse take a compliment?

how can someone break your muse's heart?

how does your muse take an insult?

THE DOES AND HAS'.

has a stranger ever changed your muse's life?

does your muse have an attractive quality about them that isn't physical?

does your muse believe in second chances? why or why not?

has your muse ever fallen in love?

does your muse fall in love easily? why or why not?

does your muse believe in fate, or do they think things happen because of their decisions?

has your experienced losing someone they cared a lot about?

does your muse agree that people never change and they just show their true colours?

does the image your muse has of themselves match the image other people see them as?

has your muse earned any big achievements?

does your muse wish they could change something about themselves?

does your muse lie easily? what is the worst lie they ever told?

has a major turning point in your muse's life changed a perspective of life they once had?

THE OTHERS.

where is your muse most qualified to give advice about?

when was the last time your muse cried and why?

who is someone in your muse's life they can always run to?

are there questions your muse would like the answer to? what are they?

where does your muse hurt the most?

when was the last time your muse completely lost themselves?

where is an area that your muse might need reassurance for?

who is someone that changed your muse's life the most?

where does your muse feel most like themselves?

are there any accomplishments your muse would want to achieve before they die?

[estellerosecartwright]

mateoxperez·:

“Alright, alright. I will say you were the best kid I ever watched and probably the only I ever considered family.” He nudged Estelle with his elbow. “I mean it took a while for you to grow on me but I think that’s what I liked best about you. You didn’t try as hard as some of those other kids.” He teased, though it wasn’t far off from the truth. Mateo let out a laugh, nodding his head. “Alright, fair enough. I’m here for learning, so lead the way.” He gestured teasingly. Mateo had no problem taking the back seat when it came to wines as he knew almost nothing about them.

-

Estelle didn’t really do touchy feely emotions. They didn’t really come naturally to her unless she was with Chase. But it really meant a lot to her that Mateo said that because she never had any siblings. It was something she always wanted, always jealous that everyone else got automatic playmates. “I totally tried hard to get you to like me.” She shook her head softly with a laugh. “I just didn’t want you to think that because--I don’t know shit, let’s just drink some wine.” Estelle couldn’t say it, but she knew it was because trying hard meant she was left open for vulnerability. She didn’t do vulnerability, for the most part. Luckily the first set of white wines were placed before them. Estelle took a sip as she listened to the lady explain each one.

[estellerosecartwright]

elioalava·:

…

Elio chuckled as he shook his head at her words. “I’m starting to regret using that word.” He muttered as he wrapped his hands around the pool stick in his hands as he turned his head to look over at his friend. “I’m not expecting a relationship out of it. Everything after Leyla… I don’t think that’s something I’m ready for.” He admitted as he tapped his finger against the side of the stick. “I’m not… Fuck, I’m not ready, Estelle.” 

-

“It’s just a word Elio, and she’s just a girl, and it’s just a couple hours of chatting with someone.” She encouraged, listening to him. Estelle wasn’t always the best listener but she was trying to be better for her friends. “You’re definitely not ready for a relationship and that’s fine. But dates can be a good step towards getting back to a better place you know?” She nodded softly at him, knowing that this whole conversation probably wasn’t about a date at all. “Why don’t you think you’re ready?”

[estellerosecartwright]

sloanexcampbell·:

special delivery - @estellerosecartwright·

Sloane couldn’t stop thinking about it, the normal night she had with Miles and even the stupid drunken kiss he gave her to make sure she had been real. She of course ended up tucking him into bed and before she could say anything in the morning he had already been gone. She knew the next time she ran into him it would be as if it never happened so she was already preparing herself to be back on square one. She slipped her hands behind her back as she walked along side Estelle through past the stands. “So… When are you two finally going to be out in the open?” She mused in a low voice, knowing Estelle would be fully aware of what she was talking about.

-

It was the burning question that everyone who knew about them asked. The way Sloane asked it was like she thought it was just so simple to be out in the open like that. Like it wasn’t going to be a living nightmare for her to deal with her father. “It’s so fucked up. It’s like not even a real relationship when we aren’t public with it because it can’t be. I think about it constantly and it’s driving me crazy. But literally Sloane, my dad is going to lose his shit. Do you think I’m a terrible person for making us keep it a secret?”