it’s time to talk about 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆. originally i wanted to do this in december, a little closer to colin’s birthday (12/24) but i decided i can’t wait that long, actually.
while colin is capable of becoming aware of his status as a newly born god, it isn’t until an event i call “the awakening” that he actually fully comes into his divinity. before this happens, colin doesn’t have very much control of his own powers, he’s unsteady. shut-off from himself. this physically manifests inside of him as the gate that i often reference in writing, large and metal and covered in vines and brambles. it sits before a mansion without a door in a place that colin has unknowingly created for himself. the gate itself is an obstacle, one that presents itself whenever colin questions what he is or how he’s doing the things he does. he “dreams” of it, often, but there are rare occurrences where he finds himself before it, even awake.
the scale of importance of this gate is lost to him for a long time. it isn’t built like one but it is very much a floodgate for colin’s powers — for his wrath. a safety measure to prevent him from accidentally splitting atoms, from creating entire worlds out of loneliness. colin’s power does rival that of the abrahamic god and other gods said to be responsible for great creation and destruction. unlike them, colin was raised entirely human — by humans, within the catholic faith. he is emotional. in a lot of ways, unstable. unconsciously, in his infiniteness, he is aware of this fact and so the gate is there and the mansion has no door until the proper time, which is expected to be thousands of years in the future.
this does not go as planned. colin experiences “the awakening” in the winter, just shy of his 100th birthday. a very old, very powerful witch gets wind of what he is — a great god, weakened by youth and emotion — and siezes the opportunity to do as she has done in the great past with demi-gods and goes out of her way to TRY AND CONSUME HIS BRAIN. doing so would not only extend her life immeasurably but also grant her seemingly impossible abilities, strengthening her beyond dreams. she, having done this with demi-gods, is almost godlike, herself — and with her many more years of experience and ability is able to weaken colin and actually begin the ritual itself.
it is in this moment, with a bone-saw to his forehead, that colin wakes in full. the floodgate blows open. a door manifests on the mansion. the fog in his mind lifts, and he comes to an profound understanding that he 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐘. his full ego manifests. prey becomes predator, in an instant. colin strips her of her powers, drains the well of demi-god power that keeps her alive with a thought, and it kills her slowly. he watches her die, his doing — and it feels justified. right.
the very universe feels this change. anything with so much as a slight sensitivity to the paranormal becomes aware that some BIG has happened in the cosmos.
colin chooses to keep the scar on his forehead. it is currently the only mark on his body, aside from the scars that were a result of his top surgery. a reminder to himself? a warning to others? maybe a little bit of both. it is somehow a tether to both his godly and human existence, able to undo it but keeping it there for all to see, instead.
behold! your new god scars, too. doesn’t that make him closer, somehow?