@eternityc0re - Tumblr Blog

Me + a line from one of my published stories

L. V., writing on the sky

My inquisitive desire permeates your flesh. Into your muscles, every muscle of mine melts. Fiber to fiber. My nerves are braided with your nerves. My eyes are opened in the depth of your eyes. My brain coils around your brain. Now, I am You. Here, a new consciousness awakens. […] I love all that you love. I dream all your dreams. My memory is filled with your secret past.

IWAN GILKIN — La Nuit ✣ “Promenade”, (1897)

Women of the world I am begging you to care less if the world thinks you’re hot and more if the world hears what you have to say

#yes I am also speaking to myself

Hello mutuals I would like to revive this account ❤️ who’s still here?

I think I have finally graduated from being a bottomless pit for validation into the much more potent and interesting work of fully showing up for whoever’s right in front of me—not as secondary to the creative work but as THE work itself 👍🏼

violentwavesofemotion

“Write books only if you are going to say in them the things you would never dare confide to anyone.”

— E.M. Cioran, from The Trouble With Being Born (via violentwavesofemotion)

Bodies by Emily Buli

#made by me

eternityc0re

I just realized that with total presence I’d be frighteningly powerful

eternityc0re

What I mean by this is:

What if I breathed? As in, deeply—into the parts of me I haven’t felt in years

And what if I made it a point to smell good smells? And pet my cats as often as possible and sink fully into the sensation of their perfect fur against my hand? And what if—and I know this is crazy—I created from a place of depth and fullness rather than desperation?

What then? Do you know what I mean?

I just realized that with total presence I’d be frighteningly powerful

lesvegas

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.