all is fair in love

Arys || she/they || 21|| 🇲🇽 || Ethan Torchio, Peter Parker & Eddie Munson simp || I write || Requests OPEN

[ethanesimp]

Tangled Hearts

Pairing: FWB! Ethan Torchio x Photographer! Fem Reader

Summary: As much as you want to deny it, you want to be more than friends with benefits with Ethan.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Kinda smutty but no actual smut, Ethan is a lil bit of an asshole in this, at least I think he is. There's also a lot of swearing, bc there is, and mentions of conflicts with parents.

Masterlists & Taglist

A/N: So uh... it's been a long while since I last wrote on here. Idk if people still read these but here you go! I missed writing dearly. It's also me just messing around, trying to get back into the writing habit again. Might add a part two if you guys like it cuz I've got some ideas. This is also inspired by a request I got a while ago, however it's like the events that happened before the request, if that makes sense.

═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══

A month left of the contract. That’s the very thought that has left a deep-seated sense of anxiety in your brain the more you let yourself think about it. For the past eleven months, you have been living the dream of traveling around the world with Måneskin and being their photographer. It was a job you would have never imagined having but one you are glad to have found.

It had been as much of a jump of faith for them to hire you with such little professional experience under your belt as it had been for you to accept the job. You left behind everything you knew for the opportunity to finally make a significant jump in your career that would make a difference in your future whether or not they renewed the contract for another year.

Then love made its way into the picture to mess everything up. Nothing could have prepared you for what you experienced during that first photoshoot alone with Ethan, the band’s drummer. The intimacy of the moment and the deep conversation shared as you set up your equipment was one that wouldn’t be forgotten easily, especially not when you got so close that it eventually led to the best night you had ever had while in Texas the night before a show.

Once the initial shock of what had happened wore off, you made a mutual agreement to keep it casual, despite the knowledge that whatever existed between you was anything but that. It worked nonetheless, for a long time, so you didn’t even bother questioning just how ephemeral it would be.

Your schedule, as well as the band’s, was full to the brim, leaving little to no time to think about your feelings with all the exciting things that had been going on around you. Until everything stopped and there were no shows or collabs to photographs.

Every single emotion pushed to the back of your mind has resurfaced as you sit alone in your bed for the first time in a while. It is the first night in a long time that you will be able to sleep in your bed instead of at a hotel or inside a cramped bunk on a bus. The whole thing takes you back to reality and helps you sober up from all the adrenaline quicker than you would have liked.

After such a long time away from your family, being back in your childhood room feels unreal. So does hearing your parents talk downstairs while you try to busy yourself editing pictured you’d taken at the last show. You want to take your mind off of all you have left behind and everything you would lose once your contract expired, which doesn’t happen as you look at the picture open in Photoshop. It is one of Vic spraying Damiano with the champagne she had opened to celebrate the end of the tour.

You smile to yourself as a bittersweet feelking makes its way into your heart. You know the band rarely keeps the same photographer around for more than a year and it has felt unfair to ask Ethan if you would be any different, if maybe they had grown to like you enough to keep you around for a little longer. So you just assume and accept that you will suffer the same fate as all the others before you.

The thought saddens you as you look up from your laptop and take a look around your room for the first time since you had arrived. On one of the walls hangs a picture of a college friend of yours you had taken for a photographic essay during your second semester. Close to it, you had placed one of your mother, which makes your heart ache as you look at it, knowing you would never be as close to her as you were when you took that picture.

Your parents have never been content with the idea of you being a photographer, especially not when both of them are engineers and have always envisioned a similar future for you. However, when you decided to go to college, they had been over the moon about it, despite you studying a photography-related degreee.

Sadly, all that happiness came crashing down when, during your fifth semester of college, none other than their manager reached out to you after finding your photography blog. He had gone on and on about how they needed a young and creative photographer in order to capture the band’s flare after their fame sky-rocketted.

You obviously accepted the job and put a pause on college for some time. Your parents had been against your decision and had stopped speaking to you for the first two months or so of you leaving. They eventually came around but things aren’t quite the same anymore. That is why you have found shelter in your room to avoid them and their hurtful comments they think they’re being more casual about.

You hate the situation you’re in much more than you’d like to admit, but what you hate above all else is feeling like an intruder in your own home when it used to be your safe place. You feel hot tears slide down your cheeks as you keep looking at that picture of your mother, asking yourself if the job is worth all this.

You haven’t even found an answer to the question when your phone buzzes. You pick it up from the bed and open the message, which happens to be from Ethan.

You hesitate while typing your next message. You want to tell him you miss him, but you fear it makes your feelings for him far too obvious. You’ve always wanted to be more than just his friend with benefits, but your fear ir far stronger than your desires. Still, without giving it more thought, you type out the two word message and send it through. Any worries fade away as you read his response.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

You shift your balance from your heels to your toes as you wait for Ethan to open the door. After you replied to his text, you didn’t waste a second to drive over to his house, completely ignoring your parents’ complaints.

When he opens the door, you feel a wave of relief wash over you at the sight of him. His dark eyes and easy smile do their usual trick and help you forget about everything else. Then, you feel your breath hitch when your eyes scan over his clothes.

Ethan is dressed in a loose-fitting white button-up shirt with the first few buttons undone, giving you a small glimpse of his toned chest. He pairs it with tight black slacks and polished black shoes. He looks absolutely stunning... as always, you think.

You meet his eyes after a few seconds of gawking at him and soon realize how absolutely fucked you are when you see his long hair is nicely gathered in a bun that sits at the nape of his neck, just how you like it.

That absolute fucker. You absolutely despise how attractive he looks, especially when your thoughts go straight to a few nights ago. You remember your hands tangled in his hair, completely ruining his bun. You remember pulling at it while his head was in between your legs, then while you were having sex. And now all you want to do is hide as you feel your cheeks heat up at the memories.

He lets out a hearty laugh, succesfully snapping you out of your little daydream.

“You’re staring.” Ethan says teasingly.

You roll your eyes at him, “You wish.”

He shakes his head and steps aside to let you in, “It’s nice to see you too, by the way.”

You let out a soft laugh, “We literally just saw each other yesterday.”

"Says the one who told me she missed me. Besides, it's always lovely to see you." He says, in such a relaxed and casual manner, as if it doesn't evoke any emotions within him, while it stirs up everything inside of you.

His place is small and tidy. There are books and plants here and there, scattered in random places all around the kitchen and living room, accompanied by the faint smell of vanilla coming from a lit candle.

Ethan catches you off-guard by wrapping his arms around you in a hug after closing the door behind you. Driven by instinct, your arms wrap themselves around him as you let your face rest on his shoulder for a few seconds.

You pull away enough to look him in the eye. He looks back at you with nothing but warmth in his eyes. Then he plants a gentle kiss on your lips that makes it so much harder for you to believe he has nothing but sexual feelings towards you. How could he kiss you with such gentleness if that were the case?

“I wanted to get out of there so fucking bad.” You mumble as an attempt to quiet down your thoughts.

Ethan gives you a knowing look. He’s the only person who knows everything you have sacrificed to follow your dream. He always tries to reassure you that you had made the right decision, but believing him never gets any easier. Especially not when the price you had to pay was so high.

“You’re always welcome here, dolcezza. Offer still stands if you want to stay until we’re back on the road.” He expresses. When Ethan had first brought the idea up, you had been so shocked to say anything. It’s still hard for you to understand how he is so casual about asking you to move in, yet turning into something other than fuck buddies is too much for him.

Rather than focusing much on your thoughts, you focus on observing him unscrew the cork on a bottle of wine that had previously been sitting inside the fridge.

“Being back here is so strange,” You say as he pours wine into a glass for you, “I didn’t spend a lot of time at home while I was at college either, so it kinda made me think I wouldn’t feel much different than how I did then...”

The words slowly die down in your throat, and your attention drifts away to the bright light over the kitchen counter.

“Hey, hey,” Ethan says gently as an attempt to get your attention. He leans forward to cup your cheeks, “All this you’re going through isn’t easy. I get it’s probably much more overwhelming when all this negativity is coming from your parents of all people.”

You place a hand over his and close the distance left between his lips and yours. The kiss is a comforting sign of understanding between you both, a silent way of saying that everything will be alright.

You tangle your hands in his hair to bring him closer to you, to feel more of his lips on yours. He smiles softly at your actions and reacts by brushing his tongue over your bottom lip, which you reciprocate almost right away.

This moment between the two of you feels like none you’d had before. You have grown familiar with messy quickies squeezed into every free space that could be found in your busy schedules. Unlike then, there is no recording session, interview, or show to stop you from taking your sweet time together.

Knowing he can, Ethan enjoys every kiss and touch with you, extending them as much as his body allows him to. He lets his hands slowly wander under your shirt as you break the kiss to catch a breath. His hands warm up your skin as they make their way up your waist and he lets out a soft chuckle upon noticing you were wearing nothing underneath your blue sweater.

“Something tells me you don’t just want to watch the movie.” He laughs as his lips trail down to your neck.

You laugh too, “I actually do, but this is pretty great too.”

He pulls away from you completely despite your protests and starts walking towards his room. You follow him with an eager smile on your face, happy to let him fuck away your worries.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .  ﾟ☆º:. ───

You’re still wrapped in a curtain of bliss after the intimate moment you’ve had. Between his soft pecks and warm hands you slowly let go of any sort of worries that had still been clinging to your body and mind. Instead, you let all of your attention fall on the words that easily fall from his lips like calm rivers.

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” He murmurs through parted lips before they keep on sucking on your exposed neck. You do nothing but hum in response, basking in the pleasure his attention brings along.

He can’t keep his hands and lips off you. You’re already so overstimulated that you cannot even think straight anymore as he draws shapes on your back. So it happens, in only a few seconds and with a phrase that anyone but Ethan would’ve been happy to hear, you lose it all. While he places kisses along your collarbones and gently massages your breast while his free hand holds yours, you mumble out words you won’t be able to take back, ever…

“I love you.”

At first, his dark eyes look into yours with surprise and a slight touch of happiness, words still processing in the very back of his mind. Then, any trace of gentleness and adoration that had been previously present, vanishes. You lose the warmth of his hands against your naked body when he stands up and puts a distance between you that feels infinite.

You see his face harden as he leans down to pick up his shirt from the floor, your heart falling to your stomach as you watch him get dressed. He avoids your eyes, which you suspect is much more painful than if he were looking at you.

That moment of silence seems to stretch out into what feels like an eternity. You don’t know what to say, and by the looks of it, your words have also rendered him speechless.

You feel the need to get up and try to reach out to him. To try and make up an excuse that explains why you said it, but your body doesn’t move. You just wait impatiently for him to speak first.

“Please get out.” Ethan says coldly, your heart shattering as you search for any trace of that warmth that used to be in his eyes just seconds ago. But his expression remains neutral and void of emotion. An  expression you have never seen before.

“Ethan, please,” Your eyes start getting watery as you plead. Your body finally responds and allows you to stand up and walk closer to him as you put your sweater back on. “Please, I’m sorry.”

There’s a part of you that feels pathetic at the sound of your wavering voice as you ask for forgiveness. An unmistakable desperation in your tone that you wish would disappear and a sharp pain in your heart that you want to ignore.

“I said get out.” You watch as his expression shifts into what you mistake as anger, but it’s nothing more than pure heartbreak.

“Please don’t, let’s talk about this. You can’t just kick me out before we do.” He’s still looking away from you, which makes you feel like your words are being dismissed by him.

“I can, and I will.” Ethan says firmly as he buttons his slacks.

“Come on, did our relationship mean nothing to you?” You say those words as a last attempt to bring him back to his senses. At first, you think it works because he’s finally looking back at you, but what he says next makes it clear that’s not the case.

“We are not in a relationship, we never were.”

“Fine, fuck this shit! I’m tired of just being someone you fuck whenever you’re bored anyway.” You see his whole expression soften at your harsh words. Ethan tries to reach out but you notice he debates on it before letting his hand fall back to his side.

Everything went to shit so quickly with those three little words. The friendship you have been building up for years has just been ruined in less than ten minutes and you have no idea what the fuck you’re supposed to do next.

“You know that’s not what this is! You’re so much more than that, you’re my best friend!” His voice is much gentler than it was, but you don’t notice it because of the anger that’s building up at his words.

“Well, you have a shitty way of showing it. Best friends don’t do whatever the fuck we do!” You turn your back to him and start collecting the rest of your clothes and car keys.

You feel his hand on your shoulder as you dress up, but you shrug it away, “Don’t. I’m listening to you and getting out of here.”

A part of you hopes he’ll go after you, but this is no romcom, so he doesn’t do anything to stop you and lets you leave.

[ethanesimp]

Hello 👋,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞

The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔

Your support can make a difference. Whether by reading our story, donating, or sharing our campaign with others, you can help us reunite, find safety, and start anew. 🙏🕊

Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for your kindness, compassion, and solidarity during this difficult time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/58268669 🔗

Please, whoever sees this who can help, please do!!!

[userroan-deactivated20251106]

chappell roan- tiny desk concert, 2024 📌

[edmunsonss]

JUST LOVE

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Summary: You've had a stressful day at work and can't wait for Eddie to help you forget it all

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: SMUT (18+), oral (m receving), excessive use of nicknames, use of the word slut once, not proofread.

A/N: It's been a hot minute since I last wrote smut so uh, I hope it's decent and yeah.

═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══

When you waltz into the trailer on a rainy evening, you expect Eddie to be in his room, maybe practicing a new song or writing up some lyrics for the next show at the Hideout. However, your boyfriend is nowhere in sight. Part of you is relieved that he’s not around, but the other feels your heart plummet to your stomach in his absence. While you wish for nothing more than to fall into the comfort of his embrace, you don’t want him to worry upon seeing the tears that are falling down your cheeks.

As much as you have been trying to ignore it, all the frustration that has been building up in your chest has reached a point where you feel like it’s too much for you to take. Almost like a suffocating weight placed on top of you that won’t let you move anymore. You are worried about so much, and with an important job interview getting closer and closer, things don’t seem to be getting much easier.

You sigh and reach up to unzip your raincoat as you try to calmly breathe in and out to keep your tears in. You hang the coat on the rack that’s placed by the door and make your way into the cramped trailer bathroom, craving nothing more than a nice hot shower to ease the tension in your muscles.

Before you can get too far, you feel something brush up against your leg. You look down and your frown is quickly turned into a soft smile at the sight of your cat, Ziggy, lazily rubbing up against you in search of cuddles and attention. His soft purrs make you give in and scratch his head gently until he seems satisfied enough and runs back to the tiny pet bed placed by a plant, where he spends most of the day sprawled on his back.

Ziggy used to hang out by the trailer often, something you only took notice of after a few weeks of living with Eddie. You adopted him officially not long after—without having to try and convince Eddie because, let’s be honest, he wanted the cat just as much as you did… maybe more, though he’d never admit it—and he’s been yours ever since.

You resume your journey to the bathroom and start to take your clothes off once you get water running. It thankfully doesn’t take much to heat up and, before you know it, you’re enjoying the warm stream of water that’s running down your back.

You let every little piece of built up frustration out with sobs that have your whole body shaking. You sure feel ridiculous for crying over things that would seem so minuscule to anyone else, but you do it anyway because you’re hoping it’ll make you feel better about everything, it’s better than keeping it all in at least.

You spend longer than you should standing over the hot stream of water and no part of you wants to get out. Then you think of both Eddie and Wayne, and reluctantly get out of the shower because you don’t want them to have to shower with cold water—especially when you know just how much Eddie enjoys hot showers after a long day at work. You dress up in one of Eddie’s shirts and a pair of boxers. You certainly feel far better than when you’d walked in, but you know being wrapped up in Eddie’s arms will make you forget everything, at least for a little bit. 

When you walk into your shared room, you’re surprised to see Eddie already in bed, his frame covered by the sheets as he reads a book. His hair is messily gathered at the nape of his neck in the shape of a messy bun, with only his fringe and a few stray pieces of hair freely falling on his face. Both his shirt and jeans have been discarded and are now lying down on the floor. You almost roll your eyes at the sight, only that morning Wayne had scolded Eddie for leaving clothes on the couch, but it doesn’t seem like it had much of an effect on your sweet boyfriend. 

You stand against the doorframe, a smile painting itself on your face at the sight of him, nose buried inside his book. You’ve been dating for years, but that warm feeling in your stomach never seems to disappear despite seeing him everyday. You suspect he’ll make you swoon until the day you die, forever enamored by the nerdy rockstar that always treats you ever-so-gently. 

Eddie must feel your eyes on him because it isn’t long before he looks up and smiles. He leaves his book on the nightstand and reaches to push back the covers for you to slide into bed, which you gleefully do.

He shifts around a little to press a kiss to your lips, “Hey sweetheart. ‘M sorry for being late. I forgot I had to drop Henderson off.”

You only hum and let your head rest on the crook of his neck, eager to have him close and be comforted by his warm embrace. Eddie chuckles but doesn’t complain as he wraps his arm tighter around you. He slips his warm calloused hand under your shirt and starts to mindlessly draw shapes on your lower back. You trace the lines of the tattoo on his chest and let any other thought vanish until only a feeling of utter peace remains.You can feel the bump of the scars that litter his chest from that time you almost lost him to demonic bats. They’re covered by ink now, fully healed, but you still feel yourself get the slightest bit emotional at the memory of what happened that night.

Eddie notices the way your body tenses up all of a sudden, he gently cups your cheek with his unoccupied hand and tilts your head so you’re looking up at him. Your eyes focus on his face and you stare at him curiously, noticing his slight shift in attitude. His head is slightly tilted to the side and there’s a serious expression on his face that wasn’t there before. He wants to say something, but you can tell he’s hesitating. You encourage him with a nod. 

“Is everything alright? I could hear you crying in there.” You smile softly at the sweetness of his tone and move so you’re sat on his lap, driven by a desire to be even closer to him than you were before. One of your hands immediately goes to cup his face while the other remains on his chest. Eddie turns his head enough to kiss the palm of your hand and offers you a worried frown.

You jokingly pull the corner of his mouth up to try and make the pout on his lips go away, which you succeed in doing because a smile appears on his face as he swats your hand away.

“Stop distracting me,” He laughs.

“I’m not trying to, Eds,” You say at the same time as you poke him on the ribs, which makes him jump a little. Eddie laughs a little more, which makes you giggle in return. 

“I just… you know I worry about everything and my brain’s always going on and on about all the shit that can go wrong. With all of my work stuff and the job interview and everything there is to worry about, I’m going a bit crazy.”

You see the way his face falls again as he hears you talk, knowing there isn’t much he can do to relieve you of all the stress that has you crumbling, “I’d prefer not to talk much about it though, not right now anyway.”

“We can talk about whatever you want sweetheart,” He reassures and smiles teasingly at you as he grabs the hem of your shirt, his shirt, actually, “Like about how you’ve stolen my shirt. I asked if you’d seen it just this morning!”

You laugh sheepishly at the accusation. It isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last, that you steal one of his shirts,“Did not!”

Eddie tickles your sides and shakes his head, “Did too, you fuckin’ liar.”

He leans in a little bit more, just enough so that your noses are about to touch, “You can keep it though, it looks hot on you.” 

“Hmm, good, because it’s my favorite shirt of yours,” You admit, though you know it’s more than obvious with how often it disappears from his drawers.

He rolls his eyes at your words, “Yeah, couldn’t help but notice it.”

You press your forehead against his and close your eyes. Eddie wraps his arms around your waist and you feel him let out a long sigh. It’s more than obvious that you’ve both had a stressful day and being so close together brings an incomparable comfort that allows you to relax despite everything there is to worry about.

It has always been easy with Eddie, to just brush off any trouble. That is how you have both survived the years that have passed since everything with Vecna occurred. Looking back on everything, it almost feels ridiculous how you’re worrying over a job when a few years ago, when you were just eighteen, you were worrying over how your group of friends was going to save the world… and your dying boyfriend. Night and day difference, huh?  

You pull away and open your eyes. Your fingers brush over the curls that sit prettily on his forehead, “I’m sorry to say this, but seeing your hair like this makes me wanna do things to you.”

Eddie laughs loudly at your comment and the way you whisper it as if it actually were a secret. He laughs even more at your embarrassed expression, when you’ve said worse things that would put his dirty mouth to shame. You press your forehead against his chest now and join his quiet laughter, “I hope it’s good things.”

“Only the best of things, Eds,” You mumble against his chest as he brushes his fingers through your hair. He watches as your eyes light up when you look at him again and you can’t help but grin at his confused expression.

“I think I know a great way to make me feel better, actually,” You say and curl your finger around a loose strand of hair.

“And what would that be, princess?” He wonders, despite having a slight suspicion of what you’re about to ask. 

You toy with the waistband of his boxers and Eddie almost groans in anticipation of what’s to come. It isn’t a secret to either of you that there is nothing you love more in the world than sucking Eddie off after a stressful day at work. He, of course, always encourages you, who is he to complain after all?

Both of your hands now pinch the material. You wait for him to give you the okay before you slide the boxers down his legs and drop them somewhere on the floor, freeing his hardening cock. You slide off the bed and onto your knees beside it while Eddie watches you intently. His doe eyes never leave yours as you beckon for him to sit on the edge of the bed, which he scrambles to do instantly.

You spit on your hand before wrapping it around him and pumping slowly. He sighs at your touch, but it quickly turns into a moan when you wrap your lips around the head of his cock and gently suck on it, tasting his salty precum on your tongue. You begin to bob your head up and down his length, while you guide his hands to your hair. 

You pull back for a brief second and look up at him through your eyelashes, “Can I please touch myself?” 

Eddie nods and before he can say anything, he interrupts himself with a groan of pleasure as your lips wrap around his hard length once again. You let your hand travel past the waistband of your panties and you slowly rub your clit, basking in the pleasure of having your mouth full of him.

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart, so pretty on your knees for me.” Eddie murmurs through parted lips, his delicate words a sharp contrast in comparison to his actions. His grip on a handful of your hair tightens and he pushes your head further down his length, “But, fuck, you look even better with my cock in your mouth.” 

You can’t help but moan at his words, which only motivate you into taking him deeper down your throat. Despite how messy the whole thing is, you can tell Eddie is enjoying it as much as you are by the sounds of pleasure he often lets out. You feel tears slide down your cheeks every time his cock touches the back of your throat, but any thought of discomfort is drowned out by the satisfaction that hearing his moans brings you.

“Fucking hell, princess. Who knew my good girl was such a slut? Love having your mouth full, huh?” Eddie wipes the tears off your cheeks as he watches you, kneeling before him, completely at his mercy. The sight of you fucking yourself on your fingers only brings him closer to the edge. He loves to know you enjoy this as much as he does.

You pull off him to catch your breath for a few seconds and he, with his feather-like touch, massages your jaw, knowing perfectly well how sore it can get. But it isn’t long until your mouth is back on him, determined to get him to come.

He does so not long after and you swallow it all, happy you’ve achieved your mission.

“Shit,” Eddie mutters, still breathless, “Feel better now, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I’d say so.” 

[ethanesimp]

WHY CAN'T I WRITEEEEE

[remindertoclick]

Reminder to Click for Palestine today!

[write-on-world]

[anxeious]

[ethanesimp]

I think the author of the fic deleted their tumblr noooo

[ethanesimp]

Someone please help me find a Peter Parker fic, it was really popular a few years ago and it was about how him and his best friend were tied together by a red string but he didn’t know and it was really sad, help pls

[ethanesimp]

I hate that we broke up and the only things I can think of doing to cope are writing fics or texting him

[l0velysmut]

family: “why are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?”

me who’s been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:

[ethanesimp]

Tangled Hearts

Pairing: FWB! Ethan Torchio x Photographer! Fem Reader

Summary: As much as you want to deny it, you want to be more than friends with benefits with Ethan.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Kinda smutty but no actual smut, Ethan is a lil bit of an asshole in this, at least I think he is. There's also a lot of swearing, bc there is, and mentions of conflicts with parents.

Masterlists & Taglist

A/N: So uh... it's been a long while since I last wrote on here. Idk if people still read these but here you go! I missed writing dearly. It's also me just messing around, trying to get back into the writing habit again. Might add a part two if you guys like it cuz I've got some ideas. This is also inspired by a request I got a while ago, however it's like the events that happened before the request, if that makes sense.

═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══

A month left of the contract. That’s the very thought that has left a deep-seated sense of anxiety in your brain the more you let yourself think about it. For the past eleven months, you have been living the dream of traveling around the world with Måneskin and being their photographer. It was a job you would have never imagined having but one you are glad to have found.

It had been as much of a jump of faith for them to hire you with such little professional experience under your belt as it had been for you to accept the job. You left behind everything you knew for the opportunity to finally make a significant jump in your career that would make a difference in your future whether or not they renewed the contract for another year.

Then love made its way into the picture to mess everything up. Nothing could have prepared you for what you experienced during that first photoshoot alone with Ethan, the band’s drummer. The intimacy of the moment and the deep conversation shared as you set up your equipment was one that wouldn’t be forgotten easily, especially not when you got so close that it eventually led to the best night you had ever had while in Texas the night before a show.

Once the initial shock of what had happened wore off, you made a mutual agreement to keep it casual, despite the knowledge that whatever existed between you was anything but that. It worked nonetheless, for a long time, so you didn’t even bother questioning just how ephemeral it would be.

Your schedule, as well as the band’s, was full to the brim, leaving little to no time to think about your feelings with all the exciting things that had been going on around you. Until everything stopped and there were no shows or collabs to photographs.

Every single emotion pushed to the back of your mind has resurfaced as you sit alone in your bed for the first time in a while. It is the first night in a long time that you will be able to sleep in your bed instead of at a hotel or inside a cramped bunk on a bus. The whole thing takes you back to reality and helps you sober up from all the adrenaline quicker than you would have liked.

After such a long time away from your family, being back in your childhood room feels unreal. So does hearing your parents talk downstairs while you try to busy yourself editing pictured you’d taken at the last show. You want to take your mind off of all you have left behind and everything you would lose once your contract expired, which doesn’t happen as you look at the picture open in Photoshop. It is one of Vic spraying Damiano with the champagne she had opened to celebrate the end of the tour.

You smile to yourself as a bittersweet feelking makes its way into your heart. You know the band rarely keeps the same photographer around for more than a year and it has felt unfair to ask Ethan if you would be any different, if maybe they had grown to like you enough to keep you around for a little longer. So you just assume and accept that you will suffer the same fate as all the others before you.

The thought saddens you as you look up from your laptop and take a look around your room for the first time since you had arrived. On one of the walls hangs a picture of a college friend of yours you had taken for a photographic essay during your second semester. Close to it, you had placed one of your mother, which makes your heart ache as you look at it, knowing you would never be as close to her as you were when you took that picture.

Your parents have never been content with the idea of you being a photographer, especially not when both of them are engineers and have always envisioned a similar future for you. However, when you decided to go to college, they had been over the moon about it, despite you studying a photography-related degreee.

Sadly, all that happiness came crashing down when, during your fifth semester of college, none other than their manager reached out to you after finding your photography blog. He had gone on and on about how they needed a young and creative photographer in order to capture the band’s flare after their fame sky-rocketted.

You obviously accepted the job and put a pause on college for some time. Your parents had been against your decision and had stopped speaking to you for the first two months or so of you leaving. They eventually came around but things aren’t quite the same anymore. That is why you have found shelter in your room to avoid them and their hurtful comments they think they’re being more casual about.

You hate the situation you’re in much more than you’d like to admit, but what you hate above all else is feeling like an intruder in your own home when it used to be your safe place. You feel hot tears slide down your cheeks as you keep looking at that picture of your mother, asking yourself if the job is worth all this.

You haven’t even found an answer to the question when your phone buzzes. You pick it up from the bed and open the message, which happens to be from Ethan.

You hesitate while typing your next message. You want to tell him you miss him, but you fear it makes your feelings for him far too obvious. You’ve always wanted to be more than just his friend with benefits, but your fear ir far stronger than your desires. Still, without giving it more thought, you type out the two word message and send it through. Any worries fade away as you read his response.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

You shift your balance from your heels to your toes as you wait for Ethan to open the door. After you replied to his text, you didn’t waste a second to drive over to his house, completely ignoring your parents’ complaints.

When he opens the door, you feel a wave of relief wash over you at the sight of him. His dark eyes and easy smile do their usual trick and help you forget about everything else. Then, you feel your breath hitch when your eyes scan over his clothes.

Ethan is dressed in a loose-fitting white button-up shirt with the first few buttons undone, giving you a small glimpse of his toned chest. He pairs it with tight black slacks and polished black shoes. He looks absolutely stunning... as always, you think.

You meet his eyes after a few seconds of gawking at him and soon realize how absolutely fucked you are when you see his long hair is nicely gathered in a bun that sits at the nape of his neck, just how you like it.

That absolute fucker. You absolutely despise how attractive he looks, especially when your thoughts go straight to a few nights ago. You remember your hands tangled in his hair, completely ruining his bun. You remember pulling at it while his head was in between your legs, then while you were having sex. And now all you want to do is hide as you feel your cheeks heat up at the memories.

He lets out a hearty laugh, succesfully snapping you out of your little daydream.

“You’re staring.” Ethan says teasingly.

You roll your eyes at him, “You wish.”

He shakes his head and steps aside to let you in, “It’s nice to see you too, by the way.”

You let out a soft laugh, “We literally just saw each other yesterday.”

"Says the one who told me she missed me. Besides, it's always lovely to see you." He says, in such a relaxed and casual manner, as if it doesn't evoke any emotions within him, while it stirs up everything inside of you.

His place is small and tidy. There are books and plants here and there, scattered in random places all around the kitchen and living room, accompanied by the faint smell of vanilla coming from a lit candle.

Ethan catches you off-guard by wrapping his arms around you in a hug after closing the door behind you. Driven by instinct, your arms wrap themselves around him as you let your face rest on his shoulder for a few seconds.

You pull away enough to look him in the eye. He looks back at you with nothing but warmth in his eyes. Then he plants a gentle kiss on your lips that makes it so much harder for you to believe he has nothing but sexual feelings towards you. How could he kiss you with such gentleness if that were the case?

“I wanted to get out of there so fucking bad.” You mumble as an attempt to quiet down your thoughts.

Ethan gives you a knowing look. He’s the only person who knows everything you have sacrificed to follow your dream. He always tries to reassure you that you had made the right decision, but believing him never gets any easier. Especially not when the price you had to pay was so high.

“You’re always welcome here, dolcezza. Offer still stands if you want to stay until we’re back on the road.” He expresses. When Ethan had first brought the idea up, you had been so shocked to say anything. It’s still hard for you to understand how he is so casual about asking you to move in, yet turning into something other than fuck buddies is too much for him.

Rather than focusing much on your thoughts, you focus on observing him unscrew the cork on a bottle of wine that had previously been sitting inside the fridge.

“Being back here is so strange,” You say as he pours wine into a glass for you, “I didn’t spend a lot of time at home while I was at college either, so it kinda made me think I wouldn’t feel much different than how I did then...”

The words slowly die down in your throat, and your attention drifts away to the bright light over the kitchen counter.

“Hey, hey,” Ethan says gently as an attempt to get your attention. He leans forward to cup your cheeks, “All this you’re going through isn’t easy. I get it’s probably much more overwhelming when all this negativity is coming from your parents of all people.”

You place a hand over his and close the distance left between his lips and yours. The kiss is a comforting sign of understanding between you both, a silent way of saying that everything will be alright.

You tangle your hands in his hair to bring him closer to you, to feel more of his lips on yours. He smiles softly at your actions and reacts by brushing his tongue over your bottom lip, which you reciprocate almost right away.

This moment between the two of you feels like none you’d had before. You have grown familiar with messy quickies squeezed into every free space that could be found in your busy schedules. Unlike then, there is no recording session, interview, or show to stop you from taking your sweet time together.

Knowing he can, Ethan enjoys every kiss and touch with you, extending them as much as his body allows him to. He lets his hands slowly wander under your shirt as you break the kiss to catch a breath. His hands warm up your skin as they make their way up your waist and he lets out a soft chuckle upon noticing you were wearing nothing underneath your blue sweater.

“Something tells me you don’t just want to watch the movie.” He laughs as his lips trail down to your neck.

You laugh too, “I actually do, but this is pretty great too.”

He pulls away from you completely despite your protests and starts walking towards his room. You follow him with an eager smile on your face, happy to let him fuck away your worries.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .  ﾟ☆º:. ───

You’re still wrapped in a curtain of bliss after the intimate moment you’ve had. Between his soft pecks and warm hands you slowly let go of any sort of worries that had still been clinging to your body and mind. Instead, you let all of your attention fall on the words that easily fall from his lips like calm rivers.

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” He murmurs through parted lips before they keep on sucking on your exposed neck. You do nothing but hum in response, basking in the pleasure his attention brings along.

He can’t keep his hands and lips off you. You’re already so overstimulated that you cannot even think straight anymore as he draws shapes on your back. So it happens, in only a few seconds and with a phrase that anyone but Ethan would’ve been happy to hear, you lose it all. While he places kisses along your collarbones and gently massages your breast while his free hand holds yours, you mumble out words you won’t be able to take back, ever…

“I love you.”

At first, his dark eyes look into yours with surprise and a slight touch of happiness, words still processing in the very back of his mind. Then, any trace of gentleness and adoration that had been previously present, vanishes. You lose the warmth of his hands against your naked body when he stands up and puts a distance between you that feels infinite.

You see his face harden as he leans down to pick up his shirt from the floor, your heart falling to your stomach as you watch him get dressed. He avoids your eyes, which you suspect is much more painful than if he were looking at you.

That moment of silence seems to stretch out into what feels like an eternity. You don’t know what to say, and by the looks of it, your words have also rendered him speechless.

You feel the need to get up and try to reach out to him. To try and make up an excuse that explains why you said it, but your body doesn’t move. You just wait impatiently for him to speak first.

“Please get out.” Ethan says coldly, your heart shattering as you search for any trace of that warmth that used to be in his eyes just seconds ago. But his expression remains neutral and void of emotion. An  expression you have never seen before.

“Ethan, please,” Your eyes start getting watery as you plead. Your body finally responds and allows you to stand up and walk closer to him as you put your sweater back on. “Please, I’m sorry.”

There’s a part of you that feels pathetic at the sound of your wavering voice as you ask for forgiveness. An unmistakable desperation in your tone that you wish would disappear and a sharp pain in your heart that you want to ignore.

“I said get out.” You watch as his expression shifts into what you mistake as anger, but it’s nothing more than pure heartbreak.

“Please don’t, let’s talk about this. You can’t just kick me out before we do.” He’s still looking away from you, which makes you feel like your words are being dismissed by him.

“I can, and I will.” Ethan says firmly as he buttons his slacks.

“Come on, did our relationship mean nothing to you?” You say those words as a last attempt to bring him back to his senses. At first, you think it works because he’s finally looking back at you, but what he says next makes it clear that’s not the case.

“We are not in a relationship, we never were.”

“Fine, fuck this shit! I’m tired of just being someone you fuck whenever you’re bored anyway.” You see his whole expression soften at your harsh words. Ethan tries to reach out but you notice he debates on it before letting his hand fall back to his side.

Everything went to shit so quickly with those three little words. The friendship you have been building up for years has just been ruined in less than ten minutes and you have no idea what the fuck you’re supposed to do next.

“You know that’s not what this is! You’re so much more than that, you’re my best friend!” His voice is much gentler than it was, but you don’t notice it because of the anger that’s building up at his words.

“Well, you have a shitty way of showing it. Best friends don’t do whatever the fuck we do!” You turn your back to him and start collecting the rest of your clothes and car keys.

You feel his hand on your shoulder as you dress up, but you shrug it away, “Don’t. I’m listening to you and getting out of here.”

A part of you hopes he’ll go after you, but this is no romcom, so he doesn’t do anything to stop you and lets you leave.

[ethanesimp]

I'm adding my taglist in case anyone is still active and wants to read it :) Taglist: @gretavanfleetlove @superchrystaldrug  @ethaneskin​ @dont-let-me-drown-in-you​ @bidet-and-legolas​ @selenophiliaxx @tabi-toast @ruler-of-brokenhearts​ @geklutst-ei @juststalking @ohtorchio @ethan-torchio-angelo​ @everythingisdefinitelynotfine @its-afucking-mess @goldenpeaxh​ @marriedwithmarktuan​ @vicsangel​ @idyllicbutterfly @immrbrightsideeee​ @icarodamiano​ @iosonoarina​ @fandomfoodiedancer​

[pasdecoeur]

all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

[8iunie]

via @/fabiogerminario Instagram story, 08.01.2024

[watashinohikari-8]

Happy birthday to Damiano!

[ethanesimp]

I've spent months writing college papers and writing normal stuff again is just... yeah