Ethan

Ethan Puckerman • 15 • Sophomore

[ethanpuckerman]

livpuckerman:

Okay, fine you trust a lot of people. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. You just choose to see the good in people. I already told you I’m supporting mom so you don’t have to keep defending him. I haven’t done anything yet. Unless Bryson has done something to give me a reason to hide his body? That sounds like the opposite of a problem. I’m supporting myself to support mom.

I don’t know, are they? People always make a big deal about prom or homecoming. I doubt it’s something that needs to go on my resume once I graduate. Like I said, better things to do. And no, you can’t come. I will help you find a date if it means you not coming along. 

Yea, but I only trust good people. I didn’t feel comfortable with Bryson either in the beginning, but he convinced me of having good intentions. I guess I can’t blame you for being apprehensive though.. No, of course not! Geez, Liv... don’t make joke likes that. Yea, well, I don’t think mom sees it that way... How is getting high supporting yourself? Doesn’t it just make you feel uh.. floaty?

According to most people at school, they are. I think they’re also supposed to be fun, but I guess that’s mostly for the people who actually have dates and stuff.. What kind of better things do you have to do? They’re not... illegal things or something, right?

[ethanpuckerman]

livpuckerman:

I would hope she trusts him if she’s marrying him. Of course you trust him, you trust everybody. Of course. I’ll tell you right after I hide the body. But fine, I’ll try to be happy for her. But anytime Bryson does something embarrassing or annoying, I’m smoking a bowl. For support and stuff.

No, you’re not a loser. I was mostly kidding, Ethan. It’s just a dance. There’ll be tons of other dances where you can ask some girl out. Going stag wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I’m not going at all. I have a busy night filled with better things to do.

What? No, I don’t! I don’t trust everybody.. but Bryson is a good guy, you just gotta cut him some slack. He tries, maybe a little too hard even, but yea.. Hide the body?? Don’t do anything crazy, Liv! But if you do that, you’ll be so high you that you’ll probably never come down.. and that doesn’t really have anything to do with support either.

Okay good! You had me worried there for a sec. I know it’s just a dance, but dances are supposed to be important too, right? For us high schoolers, I mean. Why aren’t you going? What else are you doing that night? Can I come too?

[ethanpuckerman]

livpuckerman:

I gave him a chance already and he ruins every possible second chance anytime a crappy dad joke comes out of his mouth. Mom has the tendency to have bad taste in case you haven’t noticed. The only way I’m being supportive is by standing next to the altar holding flowers while looking halfway decent. Nothing more, nothing less. No, you should totally panic. Everyone I know are paired up and picking out dresses and corsages. There’s still time though. Worst case scenario is you go stag and have to dance with some wallflower with a back brace.

Yea I know but.. Bryson is not like that... I trust him, mom trusts him.. and I know that doesn’t say a lot but I just know he’s not, okay? But if he is then you gotta tell me! Why can’t you just be happy for mom? She deserves happiness in her life after everything that has happened... It wouldn’t kill you to support her in this, you know. 

Oh no, I knew it! I’m totally screwed, aren’t I? I thought the new kid image would have worn off by now but I guess it didn’t... Going stag? Isn’t that something loser kids do? Am I officially part of the loser kids now? Great... So, who are you going with then, Liv? ...Is he decent? 

[ethanpuckerman]

livpuckerman:

The school year has barely started and you people are already making me fucking sick. Between my mom marrying the world’s shortest fuckboy and all this talk about the Sadie Hawkins dance, I’m surprised I haven’t puked from all the “love” in the air. 

I kinda think that, you know, maybe you just need to give Bryse a chance, Liv. He really isn’t that bad.. I mean yea, he’s a little embarrassing sometimes, but that’s a dad thing, right? I know he loves mom a lot, and mom loves him so... we should be supportive of it. Oh drats! This dance! I still haven’t been asked by anyone! Should I start to panic or do you think that some girl might still ask me???

[x-caseylynn-x]

I guess you have a point. But don’t take any candy from anyone down there, god knows what those people would do to it. And try to keep the wild antics to a minimum, my brother’s still fragile after what happened in school a few days ago. In fact, maybe keep as close an eye on him as possible for me? Very impatient, daddy says I get it from my mom. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a lady wanting what she wants. But I guess if I have to wait…. Oh, no. I don’t have a boyfriend…. no one’s toes to step on…. Just me, myself, and I…. So, no worries there.

[ethanpuckerman]

Pretty sure the idea is that your brothers are bringing their own candy, or we’re going to make some candy ourselves. Aw, don’t worry about him, Case. He seems to have fully recovered, but if it makes you feel better then I don’t mind babysitting him for you. I’m sure he won’t either. Oh? And what more does this lady wants, aside from getting all her presents asap? No boyfriend? How is that possible? Do all these freshmen boys need to get their eyes checked or something?

[x-caseylynn-x]

Ew, isn’t that kid’s house like over in the slums or something? Why would you guys want to spend Halloween there? Exactly, I see spending my birthday with me as a way better option. Okay, fine, it’s a surprise. But when are you coming to give it to me? Well, you know, you could always come hang out with me more when you drop in to see my brothers. Just saying. It’s not that much of a challenge to see me if you really want to.

[ethanpuckerman]

I mean, no creepier place in Lima, right? So, it makes sense in a way. Plus, his mom isn’t home and gives zero fucks about what kind of shit we do in her house. Aren’t you an impatient one? Somewhere tonight, and when specifically is also a surprise. I could, of course, but won’t your boyfriend get jealous if I did that, beautiful? Wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

[x-caseylynn-x]

Of course, I just want to make sure everyone is on time tonight. Aw, too bad. I knew he should have just stuck around for the night! Wait, you got me a present? Aw, what is it? When do you think you’ll come by? I’m even more excited now. And aw shucks, Jax, shush. 

[ethanpuckerman]

Eh you know how Logan is, not exactly a party animal or whatever. His idea of a good time is hanging out with Puckergremlin and getting high, which I admittedly find enjoyable too, but not when there’s a way better option for entertainment out there like partying with the princess of the Lynn Castle. Calm down, babe. It’s a surprise, wouldn’t wanna ruin it. Shush? I was just being honest is all. I wish I could see your pretty face more often.

[x-caseylynn-x]

There is exactly 7 hours and 22 minutes until my party tonight, so fair warning to everyone! Make sure you’ve allotted yourself enough time to get ready and to be punctual. Are gifts wrapped? Is your costume absolutely perfect? Is there suddenly a last minute cancellation on that plus one thing? 7 hours and 20 minutes go by rather quickly! Look 2 minutes passed already. Can’t wait!

[ethanpuckerman]

Thanks for the reminder, babe. Got plans with your bro tonight, but I’ll make sure to drop by for a bit to give you a present and to see your pretty face again, of course.

[lexiepuckerman]

I’m sure my boyfriend would definitely appreciate the drooling more than I would. Sure, I get it, but i’m not responsible for any punching Sawyer may or may not do. So it’s probably in your best interest for you and your wet dreams to keep their distance. At least you’ll have Porter to keep you company.

[ethanpuckerman]

Is that supposed to scare me off? Your boyfriend fights like a wuss, it’s really nothing to be impressed over. He couldn’t even kick Lynn’s ass without getting punched in the face himself first. So yeah, think I’ll just take the risk because you look like like you could use some flattery in your life, babe. Porter who? Oh right, her. Nah,  I like to aim a little higher, have a bit more of a challenge.

[lexiepuckerman]

I think I got it, thanks. As flattering as all of that was, I think you would be better off skipping this performance. Besides, I don’t want to look out in the crowd and see your drooling face.

[ethanpuckerman]

Aw, and why is that? I already told you I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world. Just consider my drooling face as more flattery, okay? Plus, now that you’ve told me that you don’t want me to come, I pretty much have to show up to piss you off. You get that too, right?

[lexiepuckerman]

Gee, I wonder which one Chang the perv is talking about. You actually want to see us perform? You don’t have a bleacher or some skank girl to attend to?

[ethanpuckerman]

I know, right? Let me know if I need to narrow it down for you. Sure, why the hell not? I’m always here for Lexie Puckerman shaking her ass in a mini skirt. As a matter of fact, I’d even make room for it in my very busy bleacher and skank girl schedule.

[lexiepuckerman]

Three things my Cheerios uniform is good for is keeping me at the top, making my ass look great, and it keeps me slushy free even though I joined the New Rejections. Even though noodle hair Schue only rambles about Journey and fantasizing about which vest he’s going to wear to impress exactly no one, the club actually isn’t that bad. 

[ethanpuckerman]

At least we can agree on one of those three things, babe. I’ll let your pretty blonde head figure out which one. By the way, when is your nerdy little club’s next performance? Wouldn’t want to miss it for the world.