[matchpointfaist]

you've been my muse for a long time, you get me through every dark night ☾

synopsis: you weren't quite a part of the resistance, but you definitely didn't agree with the order, and certainly not with the brooding, terrifying leader. since you found out the truth about your lineage, you'd been drifting through the galaxy, running away from a life you were scared to live. through it all was the insistent, haunting voice, rattling around in your skull.

warnings: smut, improper use of the force, enemies to lovers but kinda a secret third thing, speaking/touching through the force, choking, f masturbation mentioned, kinda fighting for dominance, arguing, lots of angst, pain mentioned, vague dubcon but not noncon at any point, really rough idk, spitting, violence, mentions of death, healing, breeding kink, size kink, oral both receiving

wc: 5.5k

notes: idk what possessed me to re-enter my kylo phase but sure i hope you guys don't hate this! also the plot is lowkey reylo.. oops

you were good at running. the galaxy had taught you early on that speed and distance were better shields than allegiance, and you’d worn that lesson into your bones. ships, jobs, faces; they blurred together. what stayed constant was the refusal to choose, and the refusal to give in, to let your last name and heritage dictate your life story. no resistance, no order, no destiny. you told yourself you were free, except for him. the voice had been a splinter at first, static when you tried to sleep, the impression of someone else’s breath in your lungs. you ignored it until ignoring became impossible, until it hurt. the bond punished you when you shut it out too long, a sharp ache in your chest, ribs threatening to cave, veins buzzing like they were filled with sparks. once, you’d gone nearly three days without acknowledging it, only to collapse on your ship’s floor, choking. when you gasped his name into the dark, the pain stopped instantly. he liked that.

"you can't escape me," his voice was heavy in your mind, weighing down on your sternum, threatening to crush your chest, "even when you try," you hated how your body reacted, hated that your skin heated under his attention, hated that you sometimes whispered back. nights were often worse. the bond thrummed hot, insistent. you were in your bunk, a thin blanket tangled around your legs, ship humming quiet. you tried to push him out, tried to think of nothing at all. the pain came sharp, like teeth pressing behind your ribs. "fuck," you hissed, clutching your chest. his satisfaction rolled in like a tide. "crying for me?" he mocked, echoing in your mind. "go to hell," "oh, darling, we both know you'd follow,"

you learned quickly that distance didn’t matter. planets, systems, hyperspace lanes, none of it dulled the bond. sometimes you caught him on the edge of your vision, standing on the bridge of the finalizer, surrounded by officers who didn’t dare breathe too loudly. you could feel his control, the way he injected his fury into every beat of silence. other times, he slipped into your mind when you were drinking in some seedy cantina, pretending you were ordinary. once, when you tried to block him out, the bond burned until your knees hit the durasteel floor of your ship. "stop fighting me," he growled, resonating in your thoughts, in your bones. "just leave me alone," you forced back, feeling it ripple through the bond, satisfied as you felt your anger seep into him. your paths began crossing in the flesh, too. twice in the span of a month, he cornered you at ports, eyes sharp beneath that terrifying mask. he never drew his saber, never arrested you, never killed you. just stood there, breathing like a storm, before letting you go. and every time, the bond sang louder.

one night, while you were bathing, you felt him slip in, his presence brushing your skin like phantom fingers. you gasped, covering yourself though there was no one there. "stop it," you snarled aloud. he didn’t. the bond pulsed as though he were dragging his gaze down your body, as though he could see every droplet of water clinging to you. the ache in your chest sharpened until you gave in. "fine," you spat, spreading your legs in the steaming water, "you want to watch? then watch," his answering groan made your thighs clench. you could see him in your mind, his intense eyes dark, his lips flush as he dug his teeth into the flesh. after that, it became a game. sometimes you touched yourself just to spite him, to flood the bond with sensation until his control cracked. sometimes he answered back, dragging you to the edge without a hand, forcing your body to obey his will across light years. it was sick, but it was intoxicating.

the third time he cornered you in person, he spoke. no mask, just eyes black as empty space and a voice that crawled down your spine, unnerved you. "they’re weak," he said, "the resistance. they’ll break. the order is rotting from the inside out, but you and me," his hand twitched, like he wanted to touch you, to reach out, "we could be something else entirely," you laughed in his face, "me and you? i’d rather die," but your chest burned when you tried to turn away, the bond tightening like a noose. "as if i would let you die," he hissed, "as if you could get away from me that easily," in a blink, he was gone, leaving you trembling and strangely cold. that night, you started another stint of running, more than you ever had before.

the order began to notice. there were whispers on the bridge, officers exchanging glances when their commander froze, head tilted like he was listening to someone they couldn’t hear. general hux smirked openly, sneering about phantoms and ghosts. once, he muttered your name within earshot. kylo nearly cut him in half. his obsession was no longer subtle. he searched for you between missions, ordered scouts to chase rumors. he never admitted it aloud, not to them. only to you. you haunted him, late at night when he was alone, his skin burning, aching to touch you, to have you. he closed his eyes, your face playing on a loop, searing into his mind.

you tried, one last time, to shut him out completely. you'd put all of your focus into it, wishing him away. the pain was immediate. your lungs felt as if they had collapsed, your ribs screamed, your skull felt like it was cracking in two. you clawed at the floor of your ship, gasping. far away, you felt him drop too, on his knees in the middle of the bridge, officers recoiling. you both surrendered at the same time. "enough," you sobbed, shaking and afraid. "come to me," it echoed through your head, swimming in the currents of agony. you should have run, should have given it one last try. instead, you set a course.

the finalizer swallowed your ship whole. stormtroopers dragged you to him, straight to his quarters, but you were already trembling, the bond clawing like fire under your skin. he dismissed the guards with a flick of his hand. the moment the door shut, you broke. you were shouting, spitting, fury sharp on your tongue, "you ruined my life, you- you monster!" he slammed you against the wall, his breath hot, his body vibrating with restraint. "you think i want this?" he growled, "you think i asked for it? you’re in me. every second, every breath. do you think i don’t hate it too?" you glared at him, gathering all you could muster and spitting at his face, watching it land just above his lip. he snarled, and you watched with wide eyes as his gloved thumb collected the liquid, dragging it to his mouth, lips wrapping around leather. "you think fighting makes you strong," he growled, "it doesn't. it makes you pathetic and disillusioned enough to believe you could possibly hurt me,"

you opened your mouth to scream, to tell him to let you go, to threaten him, but were met with a white hot searing pain in your head, pulsing behind your eyes. "i know exactly who you are," his voice filled your mind, though his lips didn't move, "i know exactly what you're capable of, palpatine. what a shame it is, generations coming to fall beneath my hand, all because i've weakened you. tell me, when you're afraid, is it me that you picture? or do i fill your thoughts when you dream of salvation?" "you have no idea what i'm capable of," you spat through gritted teeth, "as if i could ever imagine you and salvation coexisting. you are to be my damnation, ren, and i will not allow it," you gathered up every ounce of strength you possessed, tearing away from his force hold, every thread of the bond protesting as you forced him against the wall, your hands trembling and jaw clenched tight. you held him there, nearly delighted in the way his breath quickened, but then he was laughing, loud and deep.

you startled, your grip on the force slipping, and he took his opportunity to surge towards you, eyes gleaming, "you think you could hurt me?" he snapped, "any power you hold is power i've allowed you to have, darling. you think because you have your grandfather's abilities that makes you special?" he took a step closer, boots echoing on the durasteel, "i am, and will remain, the most powerful man in any galaxy. you are strong, yes, but you are foolish. i could fix that. i plan to fix that," you started towards him, and you were flung to the far wall, your breath knocked from your lungs with a strangled gasp. "you're making me do this," he said, sounding almost regretful, "things could be easy, if you would just behave," "i will never submit to you," you snarled, "i'll die fighting if i must," "oh, darling," he tsk'd, "i have seen visions of your future, of ours. you have no idea how untrue that statement is,"

you opened your mouth to speak, only for the air to be taken from your lungs once again, a shadow of pressure tightening around your throat. "give in," he cooed, almost mocking, "let me show you what it could be like, my darling," goosebumps rose on your skin as invisible touch ghosted over you, snaking beneath your clothes, cold against your skin. he released your throat as you teetered on dizziness, blood rushing back to your head, choked coughs leaving you. "i can hear your heart beating," he said, "you're not afraid of me. you're afraid of how desperately you yearn for me," you shuddered at the pressure building between your thighs, fighting against it, "i will never want you. you're a monster, a murderer-"

"you think i have not seen what you've done?" he laughed harshly, "you have scorned people, hurt them, killed them, all to escape your fanatical destiny. it's absurd," "i did what i had to do!" you nearly screamed, the lights of his chambers flickering against the force. "yes, as have i," he seemed pleased, almost, "we are one and the same, as you would know if you would stop your incessant fighting, your needless running. i know you better than you know yourself, my star, and it thrills me," "you know nothing about me," you argued, but you knew deep down that he was right, because really, you knew him just as well, "i should kill you, right here," "darling, if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it already. you have been unbound since i released you, yet you haven't even tried, because you know you would regret it,"

you faltered, moving and realizing you'd done so freely. you opened your palm, satisfied when the cool steel of your saber met your skin, red light humming to life as your fingers clasped around it. you met kylo's eyes, but he was unmoved, seemingly unaffected. "you won't kill me," he said simply, watching as you stepped closer, "though this is quite entertaining," you didn't reply, just raised your weapon, swinging towards him. in the blink of an eye, his saber roared to life in his hand, coming to meet yours, two red lights clashing. "i don't want to fight you," he said over the buzz of light, "don't make me hurt you," "i thought it was entertaining," you mocked, jerking your saber away to swing for him again. "fine," he spat, "we'll do it your way, darling,"

the two of you fought, hand over hand, sabers clashing and boots scuffing against steel, occasional grunts leaving his flushed lips. "i hate you," you practically screamed, swinging your arm. he misstepped, faltered, and in a flurry of movement, your saber grazed his chest, tearing through his suit, tearing skin. he collapsed, and for a moment, panic seized your heart, halted your breathing. "get up," you demanded, eyeing him skeptically, "ren, get up," when he didn't reply, when you could no longer see his chest moving, you fell to your knees beside him, eyes wide, hands trembling, "kylo?" for one terrible, agonizing moment, you thought he'd died, that you'd killed him. you couldn't hear him, couldn't feel him in your veins, could only feel the bone chilling, hollowed out pain of what you assumed was your severed bond.

you felt for a pulse, and were indescribably relieved to be met with a slow heartbeat. you thought, for a moment, that you could leave him there. you could run, flee the ship, leave him bleeding for someone else to deal with. before you could entertain it any further, your hands seemed to be working on their own, palms humming with energy as you ran them along the wound on his chest, watching your life force flow into him, the skin fusing shut. "i knew you cared," his voice filled your head, and you gasped, eyes flickering to his face to be met with open, dark eyes. "i thought i killed you," you exhaled breathily. "so you were giving your life to save mine?" his gloved hand caught your wrist when you moved to turn away, "yet you insist you hate me, that you want me dead. you could not live without me, my star. we are a dyad in the force. we must remain,"

"i was doing the right thing," you hated how weak you suddenly sounded, "that's all," "i can feel your life flowing through my veins," he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if in bliss, "it- you- feels fucking incredible," he summoned you closer, face inches from yours, "give in to this, to us. it will feel indescribable, you know it as well as i do. pleasure unrivaled by anything in this universe or any other," "this is wrong," you murmured, eyes flickering to his lips, "the bond is purely incidental, it doesn't mean anything," "lies," his voice rose, "you feel it just as much as i do. i can see it written all over you, darling. you cannot lie to me," "you're deranged," you argued, "i just nearly killed you, and you're asking me to-" "oh, my star, don't you see? that only makes me ache for you more," he almost groaned it, leather gloves settling at the nape of your neck, pulling you closer, "give in. come to me,"

you told yourself you were just worn down, tired of fighting, tired of running. a million excuses rushed through your mind, all to cover and deny your most volatile, inescapable truth. he was a part of you, and you were desperate to keep him, hungry to have more of him. after what felt like a lifetime of hiding, you finally gave in, finally revealed yourself in a way you'd spent years ashamed of. you kissed him, rough and fast, hands fisted in the collar of his suit. he groaned against your lips, surging against you, kissing you hungrily. your hair fell around the two of you in a curtain as you leaned over him, his back to the floor. "you're not in charge here, darling," his voice rang out in your mind, and you huffed in surprise as he rolled you, pinning your back to the cold steel, hot kisses peppering your jawline before his lips slotted against yours once more. you wound your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, the kiss deepening until your teeth gnashed.

the cold air of the room met your skin as the force tore your robes open, your skin pebbling with goosebumps. he pulled away from the kiss, trailing his lips down your jaw, then to your chest. "i have dreamed of this," he sounded wrecked as he pulled the remnants of your top off, leaving you fully bare, "you have no idea the things i have done to you in my mind," he nipped at the skin of your breast, "though i suppose you have fantasies of your own. i've seen the way you've fucked yourself on your fingers," your skin heated, and started to fumble for a witty retort, but then he was dragging down your pants and underwear, shoving your thighs apart. "i bet you taste like honey," he murmured, "let me see for myself, darling?" "yes," you nodded feverishly, nearly panicked with how badly you wanted him, "yes, please," "how beautifully you submit to me," he praised, eyes catching yours as he settled between your legs, pupils blown.

he licked a wide stripe up your core, sighing at the taste, eyes closing and lashes brushing his cheeks as he melted into you. he laved at you like he was starving, losing himself in the taste of you, in the sounds tearing from your throat. you arched your back, wincing as the durasteel bit at your exposed skin, and he faltered. "you're hurt," filled your mind, "the floor?" "i'm fine," you said aloud, "please, don't stop," "can't have you hurt before i'm even done with you," he murmured, shifting until he was lying beside you, chest heaving, "here, sit," "no-" "come here," he insisted, pulling at your wrist, "perhaps you can put that argumentative mouth to use while i have my fun with you, hm?" you nodded, suddenly lost for words as you moved to straddle his face, your face hovering inches from the bulge in his pants. he reached around you to unbuckle them in one motion, seemingly unbothered by the reach, loosening them enough for you to push them down without complaint. then, he settled back on your core, the new angle leaving you gasping immediately.

you fumbled with his pants, finally pushing them down, his cock flushed and hard, just inches from your lips. you ran your hand along his length before finally taking him into your mouth, struggling to accommodate to his size, tongue running along his veins as you took him in deeper. he moaned into you, sucking your clit into his mouth, relentless in his pursuit of your pleasure. you felt that familiar invisible force at the back of your head, guiding you as you choked on his cock, drooling around him. his hands dug into the flesh of your ass as he pulled you harder against his face, tongue pushing inside you, exploring you. you moaned around him, clenching down, your orgasm approaching dizzyingly fast. you pumped what you couldn’t fit with your hand, hollowing your cheeks to suck him in deeper, moaning incessantly, though it was muffled. you pulled away, a string of spit connecting you to his skin, “close,” you managed, breathless and raspy, “fuck, kylo,” “let go for me,” echoed in your head as you took him back into your mouth, lapping at his tip, clenching around his tongue. you came with a muffled near scream, and he fucked up into your mouth as he guided you through it, working you perfectly until you were trembling on his face. he pulled back, tapping your hip, and you whined as you pulled off of his cock, climbing off of him on shaky legs. “bed,” he murmured, gesturing to the other room. “couldn’t have mentioned that before?” you mumbled, and he shot you a look, as if he was challenging you to say more.

you stepped into his bedroom, glancing around, but your curiosity was cut short when he pushed you to the bed, standing above you, one hand stroking your chin. “you still have gloves on,” you caught the tip of one finger in your teeth, and were surprised when he didn’t stop you, didn’t protest. you pulled it off slowly, tossing it aside, and he placed a fingertip to your lips, allowing you to shed him of the other. his hands were beautiful, thick fingers and blue veins, and you found yourself parting your lips again even after the glove was removed, inviting him to explore. he placed his thumb against your tongue, and you latched your lips around it, sucking him into your mouth with a satisfied hum. “good girl,” he murmured, his free hand reaching between your thighs once again, trailing through the sticky mess, “let me fuck you, darling. you’ve made me wait long enough,” you nodded, hazy with lust and dizzy from intensity, letting him slip between your legs and push them towards your chest, spreading you open for him.

“so pretty,” he praised, running his tip along your clit, “you can’t even comprehend how beautiful you are to me,” you let yourself believe it, let your mind drink in his praising, let yourself fall further into this all consuming chasm that you’d been teetering on. he pushed inside of you, tantalizingly slow, letting you feel every inch as he filled you. “oh,” you clenched around him, trying to relax, to let him in, “god, you’re so big,” “look at you,” he ground out, “all stretched out around me. i could break you,” you thought, distantly, that he already had. he pounded into you, hands digging at the backs of your thighs as he held your legs still, breath ragged and sharp. “please,” you managed, unsure what you were even begging for anymore, squeezing down on his cock with every motion of his hips. “please what?” his voice appeared in your head, his mouth busy as he dug his teeth into his bottom lip, “i’ll do anything you ask, darling,” you broke off into a moan, his sudden saccharine sweetness only adding to the wetness between your thighs. “you like that? you like when i’m sweet to you?” he panted, voice hoarse, the sound unfamiliar but welcome to your ears. “yes,” you nodded, quick and desperate, “so good,” “i know, star,” he sounded pitying, cloying, “you can take it, can’t you?” you nodded again, though you weren’t sure you could for much longer.

he slowed his thrusts, burying himself so deep you could see the indentation in the flat of your stomach, your eyes rolling back as he hit that spot deep inside you. “look at that,” he hummed, breathing shaky, “can see myself inside you. how beautiful,” and then he was pounding into you once more, knocking the breath from your lungs. you felt a warm, curling pressure against your clit, but both of his hands remained on your legs, holding you open. “fuck,” you choked out, the force grinding against your swollen, aching nerves, swirling in time with his hips, “oh, kylo,” “ben,” he managed, voice cracking in a deliriously delicious way, “call me ben,” this piqued your curiosity, added to the deepening bond between you, and you took it to heart, stored it away in your mind. “ben, please,” you mewled, “so close, please,” “oh, fuck me,” he growled, hips snapping against yours, “that’s it, darling girl, come on, make a mess of me,” he increased the pressure of the force, and then you were falling over the edge, vision blinking in and out as you came, entire body shaking beneath him.

“good fuckin’ girl,” he panted, twitching inside you, “gonna fuck you full, gonna make you mine forever. you’re gonna take it so good, aren’t you?” when you only nodded, he tapped your face, just enough to get your attention, “say it, baby. tell me you’ll take it,” “i’ll take it,” your voice cracked, and you sounded unfamiliar to your own ears, so lost in the moment, “i’ll take whatever you give me,” “damn right you will,” he sounded distinctly pleased, and then you felt a light pressure on your throat again, warming you as you recalled earlier in the evening, “look at me,” he demanded, “want to see your face when i fill you up,” you watched as he came unraveled, his jaw slack, eyes darker than you’d ever seen them, low, guttural sounds leaving his swollen lips as he came, spreading warmth throughout you. “oh,” his head tipped back, and he swallowed down breaths, chest heaving, “incredible. you’re incredible,” you hummed, watching him attempt and fail to compose himself, before he eventually collapsed beside you on the bed, sweat slick and warm.

“you’re going to be such a beautiful queen,” he murmured, voice raspy, “we’re going to change the galaxies forevermore,” “i never agreed-“ “lies,” he cut you off, tsking, “i thought we agreed no more lies, my darling. i’ll take care of you. we’ll be the most powerful people in the universe, or any other we happen upon, hm? don’t you want that?” you couldn’t ignore the silent question hanging in the air - don’t you want me? - but you tried anyway. “i told you i wanted no part of the order,” you said calmly, though you felt panicked, trapped. “no, my star. no order. only us,” he met your eyes, his fingers sliding to cup your jaw, “it will only ever be us. we don’t need to confine ourselves to order or resistance. they will bow down to the strongest, most tangible power. that which flows between us will be unrivaled by any other creation,” “i don’t want to lord over anyone,” you snapped, attempting to break free from his uncharacteristically soft grasp. “no, no,” he said quickly, almost desperately, “you’ll see it. maybe not now, but you’ll see,” he said it like a promise, like damnation, like his own twisted salvation, “stay with me tonight, darling. we don’t have to discuss it anymore,” you fell asleep next to him easier than you’d ever admit, safe and warm, the bond satiated. you dreamt of ruling, side by side with him, of power the likes of which no one had ever seen. it pleased you, the thought of being feared, of being recognized. when you woke, it was the first thing on your mind.

[earlgreydream]

𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞. || 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫!𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭

@earlgreydream x @little-diable

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟒𝐭𝐡! 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞, 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧. 𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

She tried to pay attention to Professor Kylo Ren, though her efforts weren’t doing much good. The seminar was coming up on three hours, the classroom air was stuffy, and a fluorescent lightbulb flickered overhead. It was already dark outside, the blackness in the windows reflecting back the image of an irritable professor and disinterested grad students. 

The lecture that droned on bored Y/N, the professor’s gorgeous appearance far more captivating than any medieval history lesson he insisted on dragging out. It wasn’t that he was a bad professor, it was that he seemed to hate her, and she seemed to hate him all the same. The handsome man was stern, demanding perfection in a way that nobody could ever live up to. His punishing scowl was even more famous in the university than he himself, one she was all too familiar with. 

“Do you have anything to add, Miss Y/N?” The sound of your name on Kylo’s lips snapped her back into reality, her lips parting in a frustrated huff. 

“Only that I think this lecture is worse than the black death,” you snarked, earning a few shocked giggles from her peers that would never dare disrespect Professor Ren. 

Kylo crossed his arms over his broad chest, leaning back against the edge of his desk, a dark glare locked on the student that he loathed. A sharp bolt of electricity shot through his nerves at the sight of Y/N’s smirk, making him even angrier. He forced himself not to think about how he truly desired to correct your disrespect, to force you into submission. 

“Quite pleased with yourself, are you? Everyone is dismissed except Y/N,” he barked, students immediately rushing out of the suffocating classroom. 

“I have places to be, professor,” Y/N stood, slipping her laptop into her bag, ignoring his order to stay behind. 

“Why do you have to have such a fucking attitude with me?” Kylo snapped, fed up with being dismissed. 

“Why do you have to be such a —” 

“Kylo, are you able to discuss the findings for our upcoming conference?” Professor Djarin called from the doorway, interrupting the two’s brewing argument. 

Kylo cleared his throat, standing up straight off of the desk and giving Y/N one last scathing glare. 

“Of course, let’s head to my office.”

“Goodnight, Professor Ren,” Y/N spoke, her sweet voice dripping with poison as she swept past him.

. 

Ever since she had left the classroom behind, Y/N hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her professor. Stars, she hated him, he was undoubtedly the worst of them all, and yet something about him pulled her in. Something she cursed whenever she noticed her wandering thoughts. 

With a groan, she plopped down on her bed, eyes closed to try and work through her thoughts. She detested him, hated him more than words could ever express, but maker, he was handsome. Even Y/N could admit that much.

Perhaps she had even touched herself to the thought of him once or twice before - okay, a lot more than that. But a few wandering thoughts didn’t seem to hurt, and most importantly they didn’t stop her hatred from spiralling. And hatred is what she needed to survive his boring course and the homework he didn’t even seem to correct.

She reached for her phone, staring at the screen while hitting up one of her friends, desperate for some kind of distraction. Perhaps some clubbing could force her thoughts to let go of the annoying professor, or even a house party where she could link up with those she hadn’t seen in a few weeks.

It only took her friend a few minutes to reply and to send her the details of their meeting spot. Y/N couldn’t stop her grin from widening as she rose to her feet once again, leaving the comfort of her bed to find something good to wear. Her fingertips stroked along a few dresses and skirts until she settled on an outfit she had worn in class a few weeks ago.

Back then Professor Ren had murmured something about the inappropriateness of her clothes, which seemed to be exactly what she needed. Her eyes studied her reflection in the mirror as Y/N dressed herself and retouched her makeup, filled by an all too familiar giddiness she didn’t want to shake until enough alcohol could loosen up her system.

The chilly air wrapped itself around her as she left her home and made her way towards the home where she’d meet her friend. 

.

Y/N was barely ten steps in the house before her best friend was putting a shot in her hand. The pink whitney burned going down, but at this point she’d drink almost anything to shake the frustration of her graduate class. 

“Another?” A shooter was held out, dangling from a girl’s hand, calling to her like siren. 

“Fuck it,” Y/N cheered before swallowing. 

Bad pop music from the 2010’s was blaring from someone’s speaker as five already tipsy girls all tried to fix their hair in the bathroom mirror. Someone had shouted that the uber would arrive in three minutes to escort the group downtown, where they’d crawl from club to bar until nobody could stand. 

Y/N didn’t have anything to lose — Professor Ren’s class had already been cancelled in the morning, likely him throwing a tantrum at her attitude. That left a night of debauchery on the table with nowhere to drag a hungover body to in the a.m.

She hardly remembered getting downstairs, registering that she was squeezed into the back of an uber with her friends, taking a short hit off of someone’s vape being passed around the party. 

“That was bad ass of you in class today, Y/N!” One of Professor Ren’s haters called over the music. 

“Yeah! He looked like he wanted to choke you!” Another chimed in innocently. 

Though the words were just an expression, it twisted Y/N’s stomach into a knot. The image of Kylo’s hand around her throat left her shifting in her seat, suddenly far too warm in the skimpy dress that squeezed her figure. 

A couple sips from a flask in the club’s queue, and Y/N was all too emboldened by the alcohol to think straight. She awkwardly made her way down a flight of stairs in an alley, into the club that was pulsing with blue and purple lights. The bass throbbed in her body, jarring her skeleton with every unsteady step. 

As much as she had hoped that her drunk mind could distract her from Kylo and her wandering thoughts, they only seemed to grow more intense with every passing minute. She needed a breather, desperate for some cold air to be sucked into her aching lungs. Y/N pushed through the body of dancing people, barely able to see where her feet were taking her until she finally managed to step out into the cold. 

Her body took her a few more steps away from the loud music before she sat down on the sidewalk, knees pressed to her chest. Deep breaths were inhaled into her shaking body, hands pressed to her warm cheeks to try and ground herself. 

Perhaps she needed to get home, set on sleeping the day away until her hangover would be awful enough to curse herself out. Perhaps she needed a few calmer moments to shake all the confusing thoughts and the hatred that seemed to wander up her throat like bile rising. 

“Miss Y/N?” She froze, eyes squeezed shut for a second. And then all too slowly she managed to look up at him. Kylo was towering over her, hands pushed into the pockets of his jacket, height all too towering. 

“Fuck me.” 

Kylo scoffed at the profane greeting, no more happy to see her than she was to see him. Y/N put her hand out, trying to balance to pull herself to her feet, only making it halfway up before falling back down on the hard concrete sidewalk.

“Jesus Christ, you’re messy,” Kylo sighed, reaching down and gripping her forearms, pulling her to her feet. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Y/N sneered, putting her hands on his chest — intending to shove him off, though the second her palms were pressed to the strong muscles, her body forgot that this was the man she hated.

“Getting a drink after how much shit you put me through,” he shot back, going to let go until she started to wobble in her heels. 

“You… you can’t get away from me. You’re here because you want to fuck me, you creep.”

Kylo knew it was the drunk ramblings of an angry student, but the words were vicious, creeping their way down his spine. He hated the satisfied smirk on her face, knowing that the stupid words had gotten under his skin. 

“You’re the one who hasn’t taken your hands off of my chest,” Kylo’s voice was low, his dark eyes boring into her as if he could read every filthy thought, see every memory of her touching herself to the thought of him. 

She was too far gone to react to his bickering, eyes getting lost in his darkening ones. Y/N hated the power he held over her, how he managed to draw her in with one simple glance that only fuelled the hatred she felt. 

“Fuck, look at you, you can barely stand straight. How are you getting home?” It seemed to do the trick, successfully pulling her out of her trance and away from him. She stumbled a step back, struggling to hold her balance as his hands shot forward to stabilise her.

“That’s none of your concern, Professor.” He rolled his eyes at the tremble of her voice, staring down at her for a few more seconds before letting go of a sigh. Without speaking a warning, he picked her up to throw her over his shoulder.

Y/N screeched but he didn’t seem to care about her protest as he kept walking. He didn’t even reply to the question of where he was taking her, all he did was walk until he came to a halt in front of a black SUV, open the door and gently though urgently placing her down on the seat.  

“Where the fuck are you taking me?” He started the car seconds later, letting the child safety locks snap in place before she could even think of ripping the door open again. Kylo kept quiet for a moment, he pulled out of his parking space and began driving down the dark road, letting darkness swallow them both wholly. 

“I’m taking you back to mine, I mean, look at you, such an embarrassment.” Heat flushed through her body at his biting tone, making her tremble in anger. But she kept quiet, having to sort through her thoughts as he kept driving. What was she even doing? The man she had tried to escape from was the knight in shining armour now. What a fuck up. 

Only as Kylo parked the car in front of a modern house did she snap out of her trance. Wordlessly she undid her seatbelt and watched him round the car to help her step out into the cold night. 

Kylo opened the door, waiting for Y/N to step out of the SUV of her own volition. 

“Come on, it’s fucking cold out here!” He snapped impatiently, hauling her out himself, tired of her defiant stare. 

She stopped screeching for a moment to take in the massive modern castle — double height ceilings making way for elaborate pieces of artwork and sculpture, just as dark and mysterious as him. Y/N was set down so he could lock the door behind him, taking the opportunity to rip the heels off of her feet. She tossed them drunkenly beside the door, not caring where they ended up, earning yet another curse from her knight. 

“This is your house?” She questioned, stumbling forward, inviting herself to explore. 

“Obviously.”

Kylo watched her, hair falling out of the ties to frame her face, normally fiery eyes slightly glazed over from the alcohol. She was such a force in the classroom, a viper daring him to come closer, waiting for the opportunity to strike and poison. But here, in his home in the middle of the night, she was harmless, pathetic, even as she swayed as if the earth meant to swallow her up. 

He’d followed her into the kitchen, something straight out of a Food Network set. She leaned against the marble island, dropping her phone onto the surface. Kylo was on her in an instant, his body towering over hers, hands on both sides, trapping his prey. 

She looked up, staring at him for a terribly long moment before her hand threaded into his black hair, dragging him down into a messy, angry, desperate kiss. Every nerve in Kylo’s body woke, reacting to her touch, the feel of her lips against his, and the taste of whiskey on her tongue. 

“Fuck,” Y/N gasped softly, breaking away as he grabbed her waist to lift her onto the countertop. 

Her dress rode up around her hips, knees parting to make room for Kylo as he dragged her back to him, gripping her throat with his large hand. 

“You need to learn your place and stop fucking embarrassing yourself,” he hissed, his teeth sharp against the crest of her ear. 

She grabbed his free hand, bringing it to the flimsy panties she wore, letting him feel what the brief encounter had already done to her. 

“I think you like seeing me like that, professor.” Her teasing words made him groan against her lips, only deepening the kiss. For a moment, nothing but his wander touch mattered, fuelled by their tension and need for one another. Big, cold fingers pushed her panties aside to brush them through her slit, covering her pulsing bundle of nerves with her arousal. 

“You’re a fucking slut, you know that? Whoring yourself out to a professor whose life you keep making miserable.” A cry tore through Y/N as he pushed a finger into her, letting her walls spread around him. She trembled, she cried, she was ready to let go even as he kept mumbling degrading words. 

It was pathetic almost with how close she was to letting go already, but his touch gave her something she had been aching for ever since meeting him. She didn’t even care if he could tell what he was doing to her, all she wanted to focus on was the orgasm clashing through her without another warning.

Y/N choked on her cry, head rolling forward to rest against his broad chest. Kylo kept moving his fingers, prolonging the sensation for a few more seconds before finally pulling away from her, “So, what will it be? If you want me to fuck you, you’ll need to beg for it.”  

Something between a scream and a groan escaped Y/Ns lips. Kylo wasn’t about to give her anything without humiliating her first, to make this as painful as possible. Under normal circumstances, she’d leave, but now, her cunt aching and desperate, she would do anything for relief. 

“Please fuck me, I need you,” Y/N whined, looking up at Kylo with wide eyes.

“What are you?” His lips almost pulled into a smile, pleased with himself as he studied the dark patch that was only growing on her panties. 

“I’m a fucking slut, and I want you to fuck me,” she forced out the words, tears threatening to spill from her lashes. 

“That’s right. This is for my pleasure, not yours!”

In an instant, Kylo dragged her off the countertop before flipping her around to face away. He bent Y/N over the cold marble, pushing her head down and the fabric out of the way. 

“Jesus, you’re fucking soaked. You have no shame, do you?” 

When she tried to speak, he shoved two of his fingers in her mouth, silencing any protest. Hatred burned almost as bright as the lust she’d become enslaved to. It took everything — her dignity, her sense of self — until she was being railed over the counter in her enemy’s kitchen. 

Kylo’s hand muffled her scream as he fucked into her sopping entrance, her walls stretching to accommodate his size, dragging along every vein. Y/N’s eyes rolled back into her head, fingers clawing helplessly at the marble as he hit the spot inside that left her seeing stars. Every thought fractured into pieces, leaving nothing but the overwhelming sensation of pleasure as Kylo bruises her hips against the stone. 

“Kylo, fuck!” Y/N yelled as he brought his hands down to her waist, gripping the soft flesh in his fingers, pulling her body back to meet his, forcing himself impossibly deeper. 

“Such a slut for me. I like you much better like this than running your mouth and being a brat.” He emphasized the last word by slapping her ass, leaving a handprint that would remind her of her shame for days.  

She wanted to speak up, wanted to throw the mean words right back at him, but she couldn’t. No longer did she remember the simplest words, mind only focused on the feeling of taking his cock. He kept impaling her on him, ripping her apart with every thrust that only grew rougher and faster. 

“Please,” it was the only thing she could whimper, hating that her body was giving into his every command. He had won the upper hand, had forced her to kneel for him as he took what he was aching for - again and again. 

“Please what? What is it that you want, huh?” Darkness wrapped itself around her as Y/N pressed her eyes shut. Perhaps she’d finally find the strength to say something, to push back with the same spite he seemed to master. But she couldn’t, fuelled by shame, defeat, and a burning hot lust. 

“Let me cum, fuck, please.” Her orgasm was about to rip through her, making tears well up in her eyes. Kylo kept quiet, he only let go of an excited hum the second his big hand found her throat, cutting off most of her airstream. Y/N’s eyes snapped open, focusing on the big window that offered a reflection of their linked up bodies.

It was a sight so sinful, she couldn’t help but let go. Kylo kept fucking into her from behind, pushing her through her intense orgasm to get his own fill. 

Tears were streaked down her face, her body shuddering with shocks of overstimulation. The reflection in the glass was pathetic, fingers weakly clawing at the counter, trying to escape the man who was pumping her full of his seed until it was leaking down her thighs. Kylo’s hand was still heavy on her throat, even as he finally pulled out of her, watching his mess drip from her.

“Kylo,” she finally gasped out when his hand was off her neck, struggling to push herself up on her elbows.

He ignored the way she whimpered his name, pulling his black boxers up and lighting a cigarette. He leaned back against the opposite counter, watching as she tried to collect herself, forced to soak in the filth of her lust. To Kylo, she’d never looked better — eyes red and wet, legs trembling, and her smart mouth finally shut.

“Look at yourself,” he shook his head slowly before taking a long drag. 

Y/N pulled her dress down and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, trying to save the last glimpse of her dignity. It was exposing, being under the hard stare of his brown eyes, his cock still half hard and feeling his cum smearing between her legs. 

“Not running your mouth for once,” he mocked when she didn’t answer, wordlessly turning to the dark window. “The bathroom is down the hallway, clean yourself up before you leave, will you?”

Her breath hitched in her chest, wide eyes snapping back to his as if she didn’t believe the words he’d just spoken. But Kylo didn’t say another word, didn’t even offer her another glance as he poured himself a glass of water and then disappeared from her sight. 

Trembling legs forced her to move, to find the dark bathroom. Y/N couldn’t look at her reflection as tears blurred her vision once again, feeling even more humiliated and angry than before. Of course he wouldn’t ask her to stay. Of course he wouldn’t drop their fight just once to make her feel somewhat comfortable after offering herself to him. Of course he was still the asshole she’d once sworn to hate.

Slowly, she stepped back into the quiet hallway. Her eyes moved along the walls for a second, giving him another second to reappear and to pull her back towards him. But he didn’t, he left her alone and confused as her aching body finally carried her out into the night. 

[hachikomp4]

i love the moment i get home and i can listen to lana in my room

[bernthalsgf]

shane walsh with age gap reader 🙏 😩

age gap!shane x reader head cannons

reader is 24 & shane’s age is 36

age gap!shane walsh who is 12 years older & calls you ‘kid’ just to remind you he’s in charge

age gap!shane walsh who acts annoyed when you beg but pulls over the second you touch his crotch

age gap!shane walsh who loves how young & desperate you are for him, calls you ‘baby girl’ & ‘bunny’

age gap!shane walsh who says “no” 10x just to watch you pout & whine till you get what you want

age gap!shane walsh who grips your hips so hard you bruise, growling “so fuckin’ needy f’me”

age gap!shane walsh who makes you straddle him in the car, fully clothed, grinding till you’re crying

age gap!shane walsh who loves teasing you slow, edging you till you’re sobbing his name

age gap!shane walsh who whispers “too young for this but you take my cock so good” against your neck

age gap!shane walsh who pins your hands above your head, muttering “all mine. only i get to have you”

age gap!shane walsh who calls you ‘little one’ when he’s deep inside, loves how tight you feel around him

age gap!shane walsh who smirks when you beg, says “you gonna come f’me, baby?” while rubbing your clit

age gap!shane walsh who acts tough after but pulls you close, whispering “ain’t never lettin’ you go”

age gap!shane walsh who gets hard instantly just from you staring at his print, hates how much you affect him

age gap!shane walsh who loves you being impatient, thinks it’s the hottest thing you don’t wanna wait for him

age gap!shane walsh who calls you ‘sweetheart’ all soft then fucks you rough like you belong to him

first time doing head cannons! im gonna start writing for more people soon so send in ur requests!

[littlesparkequeen]

[fawningbabydoll]

i crave to be noticed and babied and told everything will be alright whilst i just sob

[sleeplesscigaretteghost]

[defeubabysblog]

[kiricumber]

[derek-andreani69]

[anglkissss]

How life has been feeling lately

[strberryshrtcke]

I don’t want summer!!!!! I love love love cold, rainy, grey weather :p

[bernthalsgf]

brace face:( i love this song ok bye

[ethelcainhymnal]

would anyone be interested in my shitty fic of shane walsh burning the reader with a cigarette 👀

[ethelcainhymnal]

i need to sit on jon bernthals face