There and Not

Ava Starr//Ghost. MCU-based. Semi-selective, OC-friendly. Heavily headcanon-based. "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self."

[etherealstarr]

                                                                  I stole for them.

                                                                  Spied for them.

                                                                 I killed for them.

                                             independent and semi-selective ava starr/ghost

                                                                     mcu-based

                            ★ Rules ★ Biography ★ Memes ★ Open Starters ★

[etherealstarr]

@thunderboltbelova: x

"You were starting to look ornery," Ava mumbled around the cheekful of granola. Waiting this long not only exhausted the team's energy, but also their patience. And when both were low, things tended to not go well. She would've saved more too, if she'd noticed the crease between Yelena's brows sooner. "Maybe we should stop letting Bob do the kitchen restock. There's only so much of this health food junk I can take..." She knew he meant well, trying to keep them in good spirits and shape, but it wouldn't hurt to add a little junk food every now and again.

[mantcdea]

Fencing. A slight embarrassment painted her cheeks pink, but she nodded and followed Ava's instructions. With careful movements, Mantis mirrored her, replicating the motion with a small smile playing at her lips.

"I am ready," she assured her, and held the knife to point toward Ava's own, so that it would be easier for the woman to block the attack. And then Mantis charged forward with more decisiveness, her arm uncoiling as her blade hit Ava's knife. The empath beamed. "Good?"

[etherealstarr]

"Good," Ava replied with a nod and a grin. She had good aim, that was for sure. So that was one part of the equation already taken care of. "Again." She took up the same position, waiting for Mantis to strike. When she did, Ava easily side-stepped around her lunge and held the sheathed knife against Mantis' throat. "It's like a dance. A back and forth so that you anticipate your partner's next move." She took a step back and resumed her stance. "Put more strength behind your strikes. You don't have to worry about hurting me."

[etherealstarr]

@wxbsofhxnor

It took everything Ava had not to crush the cup of coffee in her hand. The "big important mission" Valentina had chosen for her was a goddamned coffee run, probably just to piss Ava off and remind her of her place. Well, she was about to show her new "boss" what hot coffee insider her liver felt like. She got suited up for this shit? A flicker of bright colours caught her eye: bright red and blue. An easy thing to pick out in the mostly grey and brown of the city buildings. At first she thought it was just a helium balloon caught on something, but the more she looked at it, the more she realized that it was not that. And "whatever" it was was staring right into the windows of the Tower's top floor windows. Valentina's coffee was going to have to wait. *** From her new vantage point on the roof, it was easier to make out her "balloon" was actually a person, hunched over and perched on the edge of the roof on just the balls of their feet. Impressive. Or suicidal. "You looking for someone in particular over there?" she whispered, keeping her distance in case this chance meeting suddenly turned hostile.

[agentsterling]

While Sterling's hearing wasn't exactly above average, he was a bit more sensitive to sounds than most simply because most of his C-PTSD triggers were auditory. It was dull and he couldn't quite make out what it was, but there was something in the air that felt off. Sterling did not hide the discomfort he felt from it. He often clenched his neck muscles and tilted his head as if trying to scratch his ear on his shoulder but deciding against it at the last moment when he felt uneasy.

"You're not alone." He agreed, standing up as she approached. The agent draped his jacket over his arm and followed after her. "Ladies first then."

[etherealstarr]

Ava was relieved that he wasn't asking any questions while they were still in the building. Valentina's ears were everywhere, and she didn't need anything getting back to the harpy of a woman. Not until they were a full block away from the place, fighting through the morning crowd of the sidewalk, did she finally feel comfortable enough to talk. "Have you ever felt good about your situation and still want to pull your hair out at the same time?" she muttered, pressed close to his side so that they could keep their conversation mostly private. "Because if I have to go through another one of Valentina's 'productivity' meetings, I'm going to shove those fucking Louboutins down her throat." Then she put on a dangerously sweet smile. "How are things with you?"

[mantcdea]

She waited patiently for Ava to offer a reply, her expression gradually becoming more concerned as she realized Ava was not making any sense. When the woman was done speaking, however, Mantis' shoulders relaxed. She forced out a breath, blinking repeatedly.

"Oh." It came out a little squeakier than she intended, her gaze falling demurely. A pink tint slowly painted her cheeks. "W-Well, I- I... I am. I am inexperienced in that regard. Still, I don't see why I should feel awkward. It is just a room."

Her delicate hands wrung idly by her lap as Mantis forced herself to meet Ava's eyes.

"I don't care what this room is used for," she insisted after a moment. "...And I didn't know you were theorizing about my experience or lack thereof."

[etherealstarr]

"Which, I realize now, I shouldn't have done. Because that's not fair to you, and the more I kept trying to dig myself out of that mental hole, the worse it got." Ava's scrubbed at her face to try and will away the thoughts that still haunted her mind. How could she be so stupid? "If I asked you to erase the past ten minutes from my memory, would you?" she asked with an embarrassed half-grin. Whether she meant it as a joke or half-seriously, not even she knew. Not was she going to force the idea on Mantis if she was adamantly against it. "Because I don't know how else to make all this embarrassment go away."

[mantcdea]

Something she was never allowed to do. It would be easier to ask Mantis what she was allowed to do. Her time spent with Ego had been restrictive, oppresive and suffocating. Mantis had found freedom with the Guardians. Their chaos was new, fun and refreshing. Still, the empath often struggled to shake off old habits.

Her lips slowly curled into a smile, deeply appreciating Ava's reassurance — the woman was right, in Mantis' opinion. There was another moment of consideration, and then her mouth opened.

"I want to get very drunk," she admitted, "and steal things from cruel people, and eat the unhealthiest snacks I can find before swimming in a moonlit lake." She met Ava's eyes with a sheepish giggle. "I do not know why I want that. I just do."

[etherealstarr]

Something in Mantis' smile told Ava that perhaps she was making a mistake, but she breathed a sigh of relief on hearing her laundry list of desires. Easy enough to achieve... just perhaps, not in that order. "First of all, we're not getting you drunk and stuffed with snacks before swimming. That's a recipe for a disaster... or an accidental drowning. So how about the stealing, followed by a swim, and then as much beer and fried Twinkies as you want...?" The repercussions of a hangover could wait until tomorrow.

[talvisoldat]

"Yeah.... Woke up in panic and crushed my handler's head with my bare hands before they could put me out." Bucky replied with a slight grimace at the memory. Good god they both truly was messed up when you thought about it. Tilting his head a bit, Bucky smiled before fist bumping Ava. "Want to toast with me?" He suggested, well aware this may be the moment Ava phases his heart out of his chest.

[etherealstarr]

"What... do you mean, exactly?" Ava gestured to the empty space around them. They had no drinks, not even any glasses. Leaving her completely confused. "You mean when we get back or...?" What was confusing her even more was that she hadn't asked him why.

[mantcdea]

@etherealstarr continued from here

Bumping into Ava after so long was a welcome surprise. The empath was aware that the woman had become a New Avenger, and even though she didn't know the details, Mantis was proud of her. She noticed that Ava moved with more self-assurance, her brown hair tied back in a ponytail. She was still so beautiful, she always had been, and she seemed more in control of herself and her abilities.

Or so Mantis thought, because just as she stepped forward for a hug, the woman vanished in front of her. The empath blinked, eyes flickering to the restroom when the door opened. Mantis sipped her coffee and contemplated leaving. Still, a part of her couldn't help but worry — perhaps Ava was not feeling well?

She finished her coffee and threw away the emptied cup before walking into the restroom, eyes searching for the elusive woman. The former Guardian folded her arms. It didn't take an empath to realize that Ava was not happy to see her — for whatever reason. Truth be told, that was all right with Mantis, she wasn't judgemental. All she wanted was to congratulate Ava for her new status as an Avenger.

"Hello, Ava," she tried again, voice softer and more serious. It echoed in the restroom, and Mantis felt, once again, the urge to leave. But she didn't.

[etherealstarr]

Steady, Ava she whispered to herself over and over again. So what if her once-girlfriend (perhaps even soulmate) was finally back on Earth, after a year or two of being apart? So what if the sight of her made everything within her crumble? So what if— Ava dug her thumbnail against her wrist as she tried to keep her molecules together. It was the first in a long time she'd lost control like this; what was once a familiar sensation had become a stranger, now that she had a better suit. Now that she was in a better mental space. "Hello, Ava." She stumbled off the seat so hard that the entire stall shook. Shit. Well, there was no point in hiding here anymore. She smoothed out her clothes (that were still fine), kicked the flush handle on the toilet, and exited the stall as if she hadn't just ran away like a bat out of hell. And there was that practiced, plastic smile. The one she wore to tell everyone that she was okay. "Long time no see, stranger." Her voice cracked a little as she crossed the room and offered a handshake. Despite everything in her gut telling her to hug the woman instead.

[toskabarona]

Zemo contemplated on how much information he would volunteer to Ava before sipping his wine. He wasn't fully aware just how much the other's knew about him from Val other than.... well.... That whole UN terrorist thing. "My wife and son.... Very much gone." He admitted with a sigh. Guess they would have to get to know each other at some point. "I mean my wife wouldn't exactly be surpriced either?" Zemo pointed out with a slightly raised eyebrow. In fact Heike would probably have expected this.... well not the new room mates but close enough.

"Survival's guilt? Have you met our co-worker, James by any chance?" Now he was redirecting and he knew it but.... It was a little bit funny that he was getting this talk while living in the same building as Bucky fucking Barnes.

[etherealstarr]

Whatever change there was in Ava's expression was genuine. She had a feeling it had been family, but she hadn't expected it to be such close family. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry you lost them," she said quietly. "From the sounds of it, they meant the world to you." He probably thought they were empty words; she had at first, when people offered their condolences. But still, it felt polite just to say them. He could do with them whatever he wanted. "We're not talking about the king of sulking." She gave the empty room a dismissive wave. "None of us can hold a candle to him. Doesn't mean you're not wearing it, though. I'm just saying... you don't have to."

[mantcdea]

The empath froze. She wanted to believe that Ava's words were playful, meant as a joke and nothing more, but they landed honest, true and earnest in a way that ruled out all doubt. She was serious. Mantis' heart stuttered, restless. Her eyes widened.

"Gift it?" Mantis echoed, voice small with disbelief. "Ava, you- you don't understand how gifts work. That is not how gifts work. Your mind is not something to give away. It is a part of you." Her hands fell to her sides, a faint frown appearing on her face. "And if you think I would want you without it, then you don't understand me at all."

[etherealstarr]

"Not in the literal sense. I can gift you something that we both take care of. Like a house. Or a puppy." Ava was quickly realizing, from the look on Mantis' face, that her suggestion was not going the way she wanted. "It's something I want to share with you." But all of the joy and teasing had evaporated, leaving the air cold and dead. How could just a few words turn such an endearing situation into something so uncomfortable? "... who wouldn't want the pain to go away forever? Who wouldn't want their life to feel like perfect bliss? Is it so wrong of me to want that...?"

[talvisoldat]

Bucky couldn't help the stupid grin on his face. Ava was one of those few people he truly did manage to get him to smile, they understood each other. "How dare i indeed?" Bucky responded in the worst English accent he could muster which ended somewhere between Scottish and Russian. "Oh hell no....! We're going on a... extremely long lunch tomorrow."

[etherealstarr]

"... we are? That's news to me." Ava checked her mental calendar and couldn't remember any special lunch being scheduled. Unless something spur of the moment had happened without her knowing. "I've been known to skip lunch sometimes. Especially if it gives you the time to help 'Dad' out."

[mantcdea]

Ava’s anger was indeed overwhelming, heavy, hot behind her ribs and bitter in her throat. But Mantis did not recoil. A lump formed in her throat, not because she was being yelled at but because of the way Ava talked about herself. That hurt, far worse than it should. The empath’s eyes fell to the floor timidly, her mouth drawing in a breath; when she released it, it came out as a plea and a penitence at once.

"Ava.” Her hand found the fabric of the woman’s sleeve, her touch gentle — not forcing Ava to stay, but asking her to. “I could never be afraid of you.” Dark eyes rose to meet Ava’s, just to prove that she meant it. “I know you have killed many people. I know you did it because they promised to cure you. I know what you have done, and I am no more virtuous than you. There was blood on my hands long before I became a mercenary, long before I was done growing.” She let go of Ava’s sleeve. “If I feared you, I would be a hypocrite.”

[etherealstarr]

"This has nothing to do with killing people. This has to do with the fact that sometimes, I enjoyed it. That's what I don't want you to see. That... instinct they injected into my veins and forced into every muscle and joint until I didn't know how to do anything else." Ava didn't recoil, but she found it difficult to meet Mantis' gaze. Not only because of her empathic powers, but also due to her unexpected revelation. She couldn't fathom the woman being a killing machine, driving knives into people's necks or worse, using their own emotions against them so that they would do the work themselves. But she wasn't about to question the veracity of it. She had no reason to lie. "Knowing what I've done isn't the same as seeing it for yourself..."

[missmargomuse616]

As sound prove as that may sound, margo had a hard time believing that what talker did was justified. Loosing someone to a known terrorist was beyond forgivable yet the way walker went about it was still out of line. " I suppose that's true and belive me I would think the same way of them as I do with John walker. Although what he did was still reckless, I do feel bad that he lost his partner." Margo couldn't say she would do the same however. Taking a life like that even if in the heat of the moment. " you seem to really care for him don't you?" Maybe she had swayed by the negative press about the walkers time as captain America. But ever since he joined with this new team of there's, ' thunderbolts or aka the new avengers, maybe available had a point after all. " fair enough, although I'd rather focus on you for now."

[etherealstarr]

"His partner. His best friend. One of the only people who stood by him when the world was flinging shit in his face," Ava replied with a shrug. "When you offer someone peace, or at least a conversation, and they slap your hand away or, worse, drive a knife through it, the time to play nice is over." It wasn't as if the first Avengers hadn't had assassins amongst their ranks already, who had plenty of blood on their hands to stain an entire laundromat red. "Empathize, more like. All of us got a raw side of a deal and were thrown away when we didn't kneel and beg for more punishment. It's easy to twist stories when they're the ones in control. History's written by the victors, isn't that how the saying goes?"

[divinityrisen]

Carol snorted. She gave Ava a sideways look as she shoved the bracelet in her pocket. She pressed a button and the outer hatch of the Hoopty hissed, and slid open to reveal the bleak, welcoming airlock of the station. Carol stepped inside, and waited for Ava to join her before she closed the hatch, and prompted the station’s inner airlock door to open.

      There was a brief woosh of air and pressure, before the way opened and revealed a narrow corridor leading to a junction. Carol led the way, and as they closed in on the intersection, the quiet which initially greeted them was consumed by the loud garble of crowds. As soon as they stepped into the wider hallway, it was chaos.

      Vendors, merchants, gangs, pilgrims who just wanted to catch the next flight off the station were all packed into a hallway leading to a larger chamber which was a layer cake of shops, apartments, and hotels. Ladders, lifts, and catwalks connected everything, thick cables running every direction… It was a functioning disaster. 

     “Right,” Carol stepped off to the side, avoiding the flow of traffic. “Are you… superhuman?” She tilted her head, “as in, can you get hit by a truck and survive, or no?”

[etherealstarr]

The sight of the marketplace and the surrounding buildings was one thing; the crowds was another. While Ava would have preferred staying right where she was to admire everything, she didn't want to lose her guide and only person saving her from becoming an "indentured servant" to some alien pawnshop owner. The overstimulation of it all got to her before she could steel herself. Instead, she allowed a small fraction of her power to pass through the few people who ventured too close to her. Hopefully, they wouldn't notice with all the bumping and shoving everyone else was doing. She was more than thankful when they finally stopped for a breather. "... depends. Are we talking Hot Wheels or the real deal?" Was she trying to make a joke?

[mantcdea]

Tentatively, her eyes fluttered open, Ava's words meeting her ears like velvet. The feeling of the other's thumb against her artery sent a quick chill down her spine, and Mantis released a nervous giggle.

"I... I suppose it does, because it is new. New things are often exciting," she murmured, relief clear across her face. "I didn't know you were curious about that." A pause. Then, Mantis stepped closer, body barely brushing Ava's. "Do you think about these things often?"

[etherealstarr]

Ava's thumb paused for a second. A flicker in her form as Mantis brushed up against her, unprepared for her question. "I used to, once. Then I wrote off the possibility given my condition and the concentration it requires." Her hand slowly fell away to rest at her side, the thrill of the situation somewhat diminishing. She had wanted to see if she could get this far without having to think about it. Test her boundaries before she took a step back. "But, I think, you can help me with that. Keep me in the here, I mean. While..." Well, she didn't want to finish that thought. Not with her words, anyway.

[mantcdea]

She noticed Ava's relief, though the empath's own tension was not dissipating. Her hands wrung by her waist, her posture stiff, almost rigid. Mantis couldn't help but feel nervous. The prospect of meeting Bill Foster worried her, because what would she do if he disapproved of their relationship? She blinked, clearing her throat.

"N-No, I — I was merely curious," she assured her, voice thin. "I do not want to pressure you. Please don't worry, Ava. I will meet him when the time comes."

[etherealstarr]

"We could just get it over with now rather than waiting, don't you think? Like ripping off a bandaid." That's how Ava was used to doing things, anyway. Minimal pain, cut to the quick, instead of lingering in the anguish of what-could-be. "It's no pressure at all." She stepped closer and took the other woman's hands in her own, sensing her unease. "You're worried he won't approve?"