pls explain muslim palestinian dean i need to know ur reasoning. im fascinated pls pls pls
youve unlocked it! ill never shut up now!
so: my secret spn in my head where every single character is a person of color. john is still a white vietnam vet cuz i think thats important to his character but maryam is the american born daughter of palestinian refugees who left during al nakba. maryam was pretty invested in assimilating (hence white vietnam veteran husband and naming her children Sam and Dean) but she Was muslim and her first language Was arabic and that Did leave a mark on dean but not sam bc he was a baby when she died.
so sam grows up never having known anything abt his heritage and so there’s never any comfort for him in it it doesn’t feel like home to him you know? and that’s part of the mythologization of maryam that dean buys into it more completely than sam. so when sam leaves home he tries to find comfort in american protestantism he does genuinely have faith but it isn’t a faith that comes from family it comes from trying to assimilate in a culture/religion that will literally never accept him because he’s arab (and also, like, half demon)
whereas dean doesnt actually BELIEVE in god but he does still remember the prayers that maryam used to say before he went to sleep he remembers the way she’d say bismillah before she ate or subhanallah when something good happened. and this is sort of a way that he connects w her. even though he doesnt really know or understand islam it’s still something sacred to him specifically because it belonged to maryam. like he doesnt read the quran and he doesnt avoid pork or alcohol bc he’s also trying really hard to emulate john’s ideal of white masculinity (which he will never reach because he’s a man of color) but he does privately identify w islam in a way that is reverential to his mother
and i picked palestine specifically bc im projecting all this is relevant to the palestinian diaspora. the cultural disconnect broadly but also specifically the sense of homesickness for a home that doesnt really exist anymore because of colonization. and that re: sam and dean both wanting to settle down wanting to have a home (they want it in different ways but they both want Something) even though they dont have anything to go back to
























