everlasting peace

Jesse | 24 | He/Him | Communist with Marxist tendencies™

[euphoric-death]

Being alive is so painful

[euphoric-death]

Fuck all the shit fam. At the end of the day, I'll still be out this bitch

[euphoric-death]

Can't wait for the days when I can just get fucked up on my own in peace. Too much outside interference today

[euphoric-death]

This foos crazy. He's got some to be up to something

[euphoric-death]

Mfer was like, maybe you just got the devil inside you. Nah it's just trauma fam

[euphoric-death]

I'm just accumulating information. Someday I won't be held down by the shit that wants to get in the way

[euphoric-death]

Today I told a friend about how I disassociate and how that yea sometimes i feel myself leave my body and how I can just look at myself, all while being completely sober. It's just a symptom of my depression. I have a lot wrong with me. Maybe why I haven't been trippin out on these drugs like you do because to me, it's just therapeutic doses, nothing to get me smacked

[euphoric-death]

When mfer hit me with the, Well how don't you know if you never tried? Bitch I had another man suck on my dick and I didn't like it. How you gonna say I ain't straight?

[euphoric-death]

I remember being open to being romantically / sexually interested in men in the past. They disgusted me every time they tried to fuck with me sexually. I was molested at 14. I remember a classmate asking me for nudes in middle school. I remember a friend of my stepdad would always trying to kiss me when I was a boy. All so uncomfortable and traumatic man. Like y'all really fucked it up for men as a whole because what you all did repulses me and I have nothing to do with that

[euphoric-death]

People always seem to think that I'm gay, maybe it's because I don't objectify women like they do

[euphoric-death]

I had molly and almost an 8th of shrooms for the first time today. I definitely felt something but it took a while but it also wasn't intense. Just self reflective. Still kinda underwhelmed that I haven't hallucinated at all yet

[euphoric-death]

I thought that today was gonna be stressful but now it looks like the day's gonna be lit later on

[euphoric-death]

Foos be getting my mad with their bullshit. At least it ain't too bad, I made out with something in the end so I guess it's aight but still, dealing with some mfers be so stressful

[euphoric-death]

I should've not to listen to you

[euphoric-death]

Playing a very dangerous game

[euphoric-death]

Gonna get some xans

[nowherewave]