“Hey,” Levi hears, a sound familiar, so familiar, that he’s stunned for a second. He turns, his heartbeat an increasing bump, bump against his chest as he sees a figure he thought he’d never lay eyes on again.
“Erwin,” he mouths. There’s barely enough breath in him to make the sound of an outline of that name. He can’t feel it, the way he’s shaking; he just feels heavy, so damn heavy, because he should be walking - running - over there right now, but he isn’t. His legs might as well be stuck under a boulder, because fuck, why can’t he fucking move?
Erwin makes his way over and Levi wants to hit him for taking his damn time. Isn’t he just as anxious? Doesn’t he know what Levi’s been trying to hide ever since - ever since…
“Hey,” Erwin says again, voice so soft in this space between them. He cups Levi’s cheek and weaves his fingers loosely into the strands of Levi’s hair, brushing his thumb across the bags of Levi’s eyes. His own are in a gentle smile as he looks down at his small yet staunchly fierce corporal. “It’s been a while.”
Levi has missed the callused skin against his own, and unknowingly tilts his head into that palm as his eyes never leave the sight of Erwin. “Do you know,” he utters, chest tight, “how much fucking work you have left?”
That’s not what he wants to say.
But that’s what he can only say.
The gentle smile never leaves Erwin’s face, but a greater tinge of regret seeps into the shadows of this expression. “I’m sor-”
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry!” Levi interjects, the emotions welling inside of him surging forth. He slaps Erwin’s hand away and immediately feels the loss. He can’t speak yet, not when his throat feels so shaky, and steps closer to Erwin. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” Levi says again, this time much more subdued. He really wants to look away, wants to hide the expression in his eyes, but he doesn’t know how long he has left with Erwin and he can’t afford to lose any more time with him.
The softness in Erwin’s eyes take on more of an apologetic shape, and Levi slams himself into him, arms wrapping around Erwin tightly as his fingers claw wrinkles into Erwin’s shirt. The only thing Levi can hear is the sound of his blood pumping through the veins in his ear.
“Hold me,” he says, voice curt, and finally feels Erwin’s arms around him. It’s been so long, that Levi is overwhelmed.
There’s a laugh in Erwin’s voice when he jokes, “I always knew you were aggressive, but not in this way.”
“Shut up,” Levi says, muffled.
He relaxes into Erwin, with the way he brushes through the ends of Levi’s hair at the nape of his neck.
“Levi,” he hears. He hums in response, until Erwin gently pulls him away and he’s feeling miffed, but Erwin looks him in the eye and says, “Thank you,” and, “I’m sorry.”
Levi is about to reprimand him again, but Erwin cuts him off by taking his breath, pressing their mouths together and kissing him the way he always did when he thought Levi was focusing on a topic that could be left for another time - by brushing his tongue inside and absolutely stealing all of Levi’s senses. He pulls Levi close and Levi drops the rest of his thoughts because he’s missed this, missed the way Erwin bites Levi’s lips when they kiss sometimes, the way Erwin’s palm splays perfectly on the small of Levi’s back, the way his mind goes completely blank at Erwin’s command.
It’s not enough for Levi when Erwin pulls away, and he tries to pull him back in after he regains some air. Erwin’s eyes hold a kind of shame that Levi immediately feels a sinking in his stomach. Before he can reach out, Erwin brushes his cheek again, gently, and says, “I -”
Levi’s eyes open to the fog of dark blue that veils everything at the hours that aren’t quite night, yet not quite morning. His body feels terribly heavy, and he’s trying to catch his breath as if he just broke through the water while drowning.
There’s a knock on his door, and the flickering of a candle as it creaks open.
“You up? It’s time to get ready,” Hanji says, mellow for once because they know what’s been plaguing Levi at night from time to time, and probably judging from Levi’s face right now, they can guess what he just saw.
“Yeah,” Levi says, somber, as he throws the covers off him. He takes a minute, holding his face in his hand, propped on his thigh. “I’ll be right out.”
He just wishes that he could hear the end to Erwin’s sentence, every single time.
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