02/Nov/2025
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@ev7-misc
02/Nov/2025
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02/Nov/2025
…I made this diagram today!
I struggle with motivation sometimes, even though I know I care deep down. Hope this can help others with closing the loop. :-) 💙
01/Nov/2025
This is brilliant! 😹🧡.
01/Nov/2025
I feel conflicted today.
— — — — — — — — — —
Divided
I feel I am split in two.
The part that wants to be normal,
and he who howls at the moon.
Some of me wants a modest body,
good lover, normal life.
Wages, video games, reading at night.
The other wants to be free.
To express he
he who is cringe, weird, hard to explain.
He who I hide.
What normal man craves such hobbies?
I remember the days,
fantasy name, pronouns and spirituality;
Games.
Now it feels so faint
and I, too, faint.
To feign this normalcy…
perhaps it explains the frustration;
the pain inside.
The need, the drive.
To be more, more, more.
But do I need to be him?
Even these words, I’d hide in time.
Hiding feels safer than the outside;
for letting feelings show gets a soul
abused.
But is this free?
Is my freedom misused?
Who I want to be…
Is it defined by them? Us? Or me?
Is there one me, divided, or two?
— — — — — — — — — —
… I can’t decide today. But hopefully I can read this in time and realise where I want to go, and who I want to be.
I’m not sure if exposing X parts of myself means losing everything. Or if keeping them hidden means living for nothing.
We’ll see. ❤️🩹
31/Oct/2025
💙.
31/Oct/2025
Growing and healing means realising:
— — — — — — —
I’m not quiet, reserved, unattractive, overthinking, isolated.
I am chatty, honest, caring, funny, sentimental.
— — — — — — —
~+* 💙 *+~
This has felt especially meaningful recently <3.
31/Oct/2025
31/Oct/2025
I had my first kiss last night! ♡♪
Also, Happy Halloween, everyone :-)
Beautiful – totally agree! 🪵
26/Oct/2025
26/Oct/2025
…Another diagram!
I was thinking about how my primary attraction (physical/energy) can be quite strong, but here are the secondary traits that have to marry with mine before I’d want to pursue someone :-).
It’s all theory, really — but I find it interesting!
It all helps in understanding myself 💙.
25/Oct/2025
3:30AM poetry…
— — — — — — — — — —
Nought for Silence
Nothing.
Nothing can assuage the silence
that overtakes me at night.
Silence of the heart, silence of the mind.
Muted come my ambitions,
gagged and tethered
where they once sat unfettered in the waking world.
I lose who I am to the darkness of the room.
Shadows exhumed, and I think I feel it creeping in the corners.
Who can sleep where the turmoil rots in your gut?
And my brightened eyes shake with starlight,
wide and frightened.
Whereas logic would soothe me to sleep,
crooning my dreams,
my tears are met with silence.
Nothing makes me want to hear.
— — — — — — — — — —
I feel vulnerable sharing this…
22/Oct/2025
A guy can dream… 😓.
22nd October 2025
Well, here starts a new adventure 🤔😅.
Hey, everyone. My name is Evan, which I’m saying here for purposes of introduction, though I usually prefer the anonymity of ‘Ev7’.
(7 is my favourite/lucky number, if you were wondering! Hence it’s in my username.)
I’ve used forums like Reddit before and I’ve had glimpses with Tumblr, but this will be my first real time posting here. I’ve always found the idea of a blog intriguing, and it’d be nice to have a place to dump random thoughts/questions so I can get on with the rest of my day! (I tend to dwell…)
What To Expect:
(If I even know it myself, just yet…)
Long, rambling posts.
Some art/hobby/interest-related topics.
Musings and borderline existential crises.
LGBTQ+ content.
Struggles to even use this app properly 😩… (I’m trying, I promise-)
As mentioned in the blog description, this is for personal use.
I don’t fully intend people to really explore my page (which is partly why I chose Tumblr over Reddit, which felt very compartmented and exposed), but I’m making this post as a little ‘disclaimer’ for any poor souls who wander by.
Think of this like the exposition to set my blog’s tone! 😸
Regardless, if you appreciate people who need to type + talk things out to sort their thoughts, you’ve come to the right place!
I don’t presume it’d be too interesting, but you’re welcome to stay :-).
That’s all! Have a good day.
– Ev7