#societal expectations

[fflittermouse]

Kinda funny how a woman’s place is in the kitchen until they’re a chef, a woman’s role is to care for others until they’ve a doctor, and a woman is expected to effortlessly manage households but not businesses or corporations. It seems that a woman can do anything except be in a position of power.

[bro-ur-literally-chips]

Attempting to put into words why being told to shut up and sit down hurts more than it should as a transmasc:

For those of us raised as girls, we were told to sit down, shut up, and look pretty. Even if someone wasn’t specifically told that, it was obvious that it was being pushed by the people, media, and social norms around us.

So when we as transmascs and trans men are told /that exact same thing/, to sit down and shut up because someone “more important” is talking, it reminds us of how we were treated when we were little girls or when we were seen as little girls.

And the “look pretty” part doesn’t get left out either. The ratio I’ve seen of “shut up and sit down” in the same sentence as something referring to our genitals (or the genitals they expect us to have) is nearly 1:1.

We have to walk on eggshells constantly. We are either seen as confused and stupid little girls or scary and privileged cis men. I’ve seen countless posts saying something along the lines of “take away the trans part from trans men and it all makes sense” which is ridiculous, obviously. We are trans.

When we step outside that perfect model of either the stereotypical 14 year old with fluffy hair and a high pitched voice or the stereotypical cis man with all the power in the world, we are critiqued at best and abused at worst. When we fit into those stereotypes, we are critiqued at best and abused at worst.

We are treated like dress up dolls that are just a bit broken. We can’t be good enough for everyone, let alone anyone. People put their own perceptions of us above our experiences and then stick their fingers in their ears when we try to tell them that maybe we’re worth listening to.

We are already told subconsciously to sit down, shut up, and look pretty by society and your typical transphobes. Being told this by your own community feels like a knife in the back.

[rayaeternum]

I might get a lot of hate for this, but I want Helluva Boss to explore the myriad of reasons cis women get abortions. I want it to be explored in a healthy way

Because I feel in the current climate (especially politically) people don't want to ever think of the possibility that a woman won't want children. Millie isn't happy about this news.

And I'd absolutely love for Millie to not tell Moxxie she had an abortion, I want her to feel guilty about it and talk to Blitzø about it, worrying that if Moxxie knew he'd hate her.

And I want Blitzø to convince her that because he loves her he would support her no matter what. And when she tells Moxxie he just says "it's your body so it's your choice, but next time let me know so I can help you through this."

Not all cis women want nor can physically have children. We need to talk about abortion in a much healthier way than the current climate allows.

Edit to add this:

Okay so while replying to someone it made me think, what if they tied this in to Stella's backstory? Very early on we see that Stella seems kind of distant towards Octavia.

If Stella is a woman who was forced to have a child when she didn't want one, her personality towards Stolas and Octavia becomes more apparent.

She spends more time with her brother than with Octavia.

she even calls her "an egg"

and "his daughter" instead of ever calling her Octavia or even her own daughter.

This could be a good way to explore how a person who was forced into a mothering role could act, and explains her distaste for Stolas' strength of actually doing something against the Ars Goetias authority.

Stella in this moment sees Octavia crying, but if we look at her eyes closely she isn't watching the television, she's looking at Octavia and smiling at the fact she's in pain.

Stella thinks she's proven here that it's impossible/was impossible to ever go against the status quo, that her wishes of ever disobeying the Goetia is futile and she's proven to Stolas and Octavia that it was always impossible.

I think a plot like this could really help the audience understand childfree people from a different perspective, and what  could happen if you force a person who wishes to be childfree to have a child.

She could even have been mentally unwell/unstable after/before giving birth, which effects how she reacts towards people.

We as a society need to stop pressuring people into doing things our grandparents did just because it's what is expected of you.

This whole show is about generational trauma and breaking free from it, so I can see the show going this direction if it chooses to.

What do you think of this idea, and of it tying into a possible Stella backstory?

[inks-books]

I realized something interesting about myself.

1. I'm Aro/Ace, don't associate with gender at all (Erenth)

2. I have discovered I hate being called words that people who experience attraction of any sort call each other to signify they are attracted to the individual receiving the compliment:

Pretty

Handsome

Sexy

Gorgeous

Hot

Fine

Etc.

If any or multiple of these terms are applied to me, I'm instantly uncomfortable, even if it's meant platonically.

I HAVE found, however, I don't mind people commenting things like:

"I love your glasses! They are so pretty!" ✅️

Me: Thank you! [Shpiel mode activated] I got them off vooglam.com - the frames were like $20 and with my prescription it was like $70-$80! They're also super durable, I'm rough on glasses.

"Oh! That's AWESOME!" ✅️

~*~

"I love that shirt!" ✅️

"Thanks! It's my favorite!"

"It looks good on you!" <- borderline ❌️ depending on how it's given

~*~

"You look happy today. Who got you glowin like that?" ✖️

"Me. I just thought of a really cool plot twist in my story."

"Oh what's do you write about?" <- depending on what level of weird this person is open to ✅️

~~~

I dress comfortably - loose (generally) dark clothing for sensory issues (bright colors hurt my eyes and give me headaches) - and I do NOT dress to impress, to cater, to attract attention, to make myself feel "pretty/hot/sexy/handsome/fine" etc. I put clothes on because I don't like being naked (again, sensory issues), and outside of my job, don't care if they are covered in fur, look unprofessional, like I'm poor, clash and don't match, have holes from wear and tear, or have faded marks from accidental bleach exposure.

I'm not here to attract anyone, impress anyone, or cater to anyone's preferences except my own. People who are like "You should dress up to make yourself feel nice! Find yourself attractive!"

Wrong. You know what makes me feel nice? A loose fitting dark t-shirt and soft leggings. Never once have I found myself attractive and that has boosted my confidence to go out in public more because that means there are less people who will call me attraction-adjacent words to make me uncomfortable.

I used to have hair long enough to sit on and got a LOT of compliments on it. After cutting my hair damn near buzz cut short, I stopped getting those comments and my confidence grew.

I don't care that I'm fat. I don't care that I'm not aesthetically pleasing. I don't want to be!!!! I want to live in my cabin in the woods and write my books.

I don't want a partner. I don't need compliments or suggestions regarding my appearance. They are unwelcome.

This has been a random ass act of PDA (Personal Discovery Announcement) and you are all now subject to viewing it.

[minax-x]

[chaos-ducks]

So I’ve got curly hair and glasses which I’m not ashamed of and I love about myself, but yknow it kinda sucks when people look at me like

OMG 😱 IF SHE 🫵 JUST TOOK OFF HER GLASSES 👓🤏😀 AND STRAIGHTENED 🤪 HER HAIR 🤭 SHE WOULD BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE 🫣 AND NOT 😮 A NERD 😠

I swear the movie trope is real sometimes

[griff-crimson]

📦

I am an ant,

Strong despite my size,

Lifting crumbs from the floor.

I am a man,

A force to be reckoned with,

A pillar of stone, standing tall.

I am a woman,

A radiant, golden being,

A goddess, capable of all.

I am neither—

A void, a blur, a nullity.

These boxes are suffocating.

It's just an act,

A performance of faith;

So I stopped playing the role.

The stage is far

Behind my scarred back;

Unlearning every line I was told.

‎ ‎

[aro-ace-culture-is]

Agender aroace spectrum culture is finding a partner who also wants little to no intimacy but everyone expects it from you both.

.