Lia (mad)

active April 2023 // read pinned post BYF

[evanescenthaze1]

Re-uploading introduction post because yes

JUST BLOCK DON'T REPORT, even if I get t-worded again I'll just keep coming back. Where there's a will there's a way babe

TW:

ed, depression, anxiety, alcohol abuse

DNI:

basic dni criteria (racism, homophobia/transphobia, misogyny, ableism etc.), NSFW, "ana coaches", fatphobes, if you are in recovery related to any of the tw!

If your blog is empty or basically non-ed related I will block you, sorry for the inconvenience but this is a safety precaution

If you are using a side blog pls dm me in advance so you won't get blocked

A bit more about myself:

Name: Lia

Age: 21

Pronouns: she/they

Height: 1,80 m / 5'9

Cw: 67,9 kg / 150 lbs

Gw: 60 kg / 132 lbs

Ugw: 55 kg / 121 lbs

Used to be @evanescenthaze, got t-worded on 3/3/23 💔

[evanescenthaze1]

I seriously hope I won't wake up tomorrow

[evanescenthaze1]

Unfortunately I woke up @skinnyboypolaroids

[evanescenthaze1]

I seriously hope I won't wake up tomorrow

[evanescenthaze1]

Welp, Tumblr doesn't want to give me my old account back

This is really upsetting because the deletion of that account is one of the reasons why I was unable to stay on track

But now I'm back on my bullshit 😚🤞🏻

[evanescenthaze1]

dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry *cries a lot*

[evanescenthaze1]

Twitter is such a shitshow omg, they make you subscribe to their lousy checkmark to enable 2FA via text???? Wow, just wow, might as well delete my edtwt because I'm not gonna get hacked again

[evanescenthaze1]

Hi moots, if you use twitter please take a minute to report @sykailor, this used to be my account but it got hacked (for the SECOND time) and twt support is refusing to help me. I cannot get it back since they changed both the email and the password, now it's being used for some crypto scam kind of thing. Idc if it gets deleted since I never used it but it's just upsetting that twt won't do anything, so please just report the account as hacked and the other account linked in its bio as well, ty

Also don't fall for those crypto scams in general obvi

Edit: My edtwt account got limited because I told them to off themselves in one of their posts :D But nvm ahahaha

[evanescenthaze1]

Slowly but surely destroying my liver, the sooner I die the better <3

[evanescenthaze1]

I just wanna cry man like can I fucking die already? There's literally nothing that would make me want to try again ever rn

[evanescenthaze1]

It's Monday once again (I want to smash my head against a wall)

[stimulants-4-breakfast]

do men even actually experience love??? bc like it seems like they dont to me lol

[evanescenthaze1]

They don't, the only "love" they're willing to give is in exchange for our bodies. At least from my experience.

[evanescenthaze1]

// tw vent, s*xual harassment

So I went out with 2 guy friends last night and we had a fairly good time, if it wasn't for the one dude being a bit too touchy-feely. It was way after midnight at this point, he randomly picked me up when we were outside smoking, I was just thinking "okay whatever", but then some time after that - idk if it happened directly after that or when we went out again later - he touched my butt and was going down to my crotch, to which I said "keep your hands to yourself" and I believe I told my other friend that he was touching me inappropiately. But nothing of note happened and this is so upsetting, I went out with these guys because I trusted them and then shit like this happens. He also continued to pick me up a couple times after that and also tried to kiss me a couple times at the bus station, but I always dodged by just sort of hugging him instead, not knowing what else to do...the other guy was trying to figure out where the platform is they had to take the bus from (we didn't end up finding it so they had to take the subway way later). I had to drag the dude to the station because he was definetly the most wasted out of us, although we all drank about the same amount. He tried to push me back and kiss me again but then the other guy came back and they eventually went to the subway station, I took my bus home like 20 mins later. I woke up after like 4 hrs of sleep and now I am sitting in the bathtub shaking while writing this....I believe I'm having an anxiety attack rn but I need to write this dowm before my (already poor) memory starts to fade...I seriously don't know what else to do :( We were also joking earlier this evening that I'm a "men hater", well with shit like this happening, could you blame me? I made no advances that would signal that I was okay with it or wanted it, I only sort of grabbed his arm a couple times in order to drag him where we needed to go since he was pretty wasted at a certain point. It was still a very shitty experience and I am just paralyzed, this is the fucking reason why I have such trust issues towards men and this is just devastating for me rn. My other friend also did nothing to stop him which is even more devestating because he was the one who asked me to go out with them in the first place. I just don't know what to do. I will try to make it through today I guess since I also have to work again tomorrow....I am just so tired. Tired of being used over and over again.

edit: I also just remembered how he said "this is purely platonic" when we was going at me at the bus station. Like yeah bro totally platonic in the sense that you are abaolute human garbage I'd never want be involved romantically with

[evanescenthaze1]

It's the weekend so that means rotting in bed once again 👍🏻 Seriously I see no point in even trying anymore

[evanescenthaze1]

I am literally heartbroken, I won't go into detail about the reasons but I just don't wanna do this anymore. I am always the one being blamed for everything and I feel like I can't trust anyone ever again. I understand that it's better to be alone than in a toxic relationship but man the loneliness be hitting hard rn :(

Anyways time to fill the void by destroying my liver

[hotkniferuwu]

[evanescenthaze1]

This. This is exactly what I feel rn

[evanescenthaze1]

Yet another episode of self-loathing and crying, this is exactly what I want my funky friday night to be like! 🥳