Evangeline

Slut by day, whore by night

[eveninggstar]

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"to love me is to suffer me"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ about me ! — she/her ,, cancer ,, lace and lipstick

୨𓏲̼ ͡ ݂ formula 1 ,, ukyt ,, daughter of cain ,, obx ,, wishing i was your girl ,, midlands ,, heartbreak high ,, polka dots 𑇛 ۫

: ̗̀➛ masterlist — most recent work : alfie's girl who... vlog edition - alfie buttle x reader

ᡣ𐭩 requests are open !

moots are always welcome

Please don’t steal my work, much love ᡣ𐭩

eveninggstar

[jimbomarriott]

ksi leaving the sidemen feels like ukyt's version of zayn leaving one direction

[eveninggstar]

watching the new ab vlog, mourning the long hair😖😔

[boyfiealfie]

HEAD LOCK !

alfie buttle fucking you from behind, your face pressed against his forearm and bicep in a deliciously sweaty headlock. You feel his weight and sweaty chest pressed against your back, feeling all hot and lost in pleasure. Your teeth would bite deep marks into his bicep to hold in your moans—feeling shy after he praised how pretty you sounded for him, he’d let out a desperate mix of a moan and whimper at the pleasurable pain in your ear. 

panting and whining in your ear, telling you how good you feel and begging for more as if he didn't have you in a position where he controlled everything and could take what he wanted. He could overpower you in every single way, but no, you had him falling to his knees with just a look. Alfie truly was putty in your hands. 

his eyes would roll back as he felt you clenching around him, the way your nails dig into his biceps, feeling a mixture of your drool and tears of pleasure soaking his bicep and the pillow, how his name sounded coming from your lips. the sounds of skin slapping, the bed creaking, and the beautiful euphonious melody of your shared sounds of pleasure filled the bedroom of the grotto. 

the feeling of you cumming around him brought him right to the edge, while the feeling of you pushing back against him, using him to fuck yourself through your orgasm, made him cum deep inside you with a choked-out moan. sniffling and placing wet kisses along your shoulders as he tried to calm down from the intense and passionate lovemaking, both of you sensitive and twitching with each little aftershock…whispering shared and desperate ‘I love yous.’

┊࿐ ❛❛ continue on to my…. 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 and 𝙬𝙞𝙥𝙨 ❜❜

Ი𐑼 cross posted from my other account ! all I need in life is to be put in a sweaty headlock by alfie oh I’m begging on my knees 👅 short but spicy !! reblogs and comments are appreciated , pls share ur thoughts 💭

۶ৎ taglist is open

© boyfiealfie | all rights reserved.

[buttlesbunnie]

SO FUCKING PROUD ── a.buttle ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

summary: alfie scores during the sidemen charity match, leaving you an emotional wreck

content: dad!ab , swearing , sexual jokes , blue text is stephen’s commentary , green is spencer’s

notes: never usually do a moodboard at the beginning anymore but i just needed to utilise that picture of him blowing a kiss xx

YOU WERE NOT expecting such sweltering heat considering how the early days of April were already going, and as much as you loved the black leather, racing-style jacket you were wearing with your boyfriend's last name proudly printed on the back, you had to take it off.

Your jeans and white spaghetti strap tank top were perfectly fine to wear alone.

You were sat with Yasmin and Liv, waiting for your boyfriends to appear on the pitch, and although they were on the other team to yours, you were all still there to support each other and cheer everyone on.

After all, it was a charity match, the outcome didn’t really matter. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping for some sort of success on Alfie’s behalf.

When the teams walked on, the atmosphere became electric as screams and shouts echoed throughout the stadium.

Arabella, forever a daddy’s girl, was on Alfie’s hip as he walked out, trying to communicate with Olive, who was perched in Ethan’s arms. Though there was a year and a half age gap between the two and they didn’t see each other as much as you’re sure they would’ve liked, they got on like two peas in a pod, always running around with each other and sharing food.

“And there is AB with his mini AB, come to steal the spotlight as she shouts across to Olive, who looks equally as desperate to get out of her dad’s arms.”

“They should let the girls join their teams. Substitute for their dads.”

Arabella had her head resting on Alfie’s collarbone as he stood in the line up.

You clapped until your hands stung, waving at him as he stood on the pitch. His eyes found you and he waved a hand in greeting, before shifting Arabella and lifting her arm for her, making her wave to you as well.

When they walked around to the other team to greet them and wish them luck, almost all of Youtube Allstars greeted Arabella with grins and waves, especially George and Bach. When she came face to face with Olive again, the two girls tried hanging onto each other, hands clasped together tightly and refusing to let go until Alfie pulled Bella off.

Because he wasn’t playing immediately, he was able to drop her off back to you from where you and the girls were sat above the walkout tunnel. She settled in her arms with a little whine as you pecked him on the lips.

“Good luck.” You hummed, pulling away.

“Love you.” He gave you one last kiss before backing off.

“Love you too.”

He jogged back down to the pitch, waving to fans as he went.

“Daddy.” Arabella whined, watching him go with a pout.

“It’s okay, you can see him soon! When he scores you can give him a big hug and a kiss, yeah?”

She nodded, arms coming up and around your neck.

You were quick to find her ear defenders from the little carry on bag you’d bought for her and slid them over her head. Now you were free to scream for your boyfriend as loud as you wanted.

She was perched on your lap, unhappy with the defenders covering her ears and trying to knock them off, but once Yasmin began tickling under her chin and Liv played peekaboo with her to get her to settle better without her dad being around, she was giggling and distracted.

You were nothing short of elated when Jack put Alfie into the match. You knew he was rapid and eager to please, but you just hoped he wouldn’t injure himself or wear himself out too much. The last thing you needed was for him to vomit later.

“Look, there’s daddy!” You cooed to Arabella, pointing as Alfie jogged about on the field, staying alert and light on his feet.

“Daddy.” She grinned, clapping.

“It is!” You laughed, kissing her cheek as she waved at him, thinking he could see her.

Observing Alfie get slide tackled by Danny Aarons was not on your Sidemen Charity Match bingo card, and you were not expecting to get as frustrated and passionate as you did.

“Fuck off, Danny!” You shouted, cupping your mouth, “Ref, have a fucking word!”

Liv burst into reverberating cackles, slumping back in her seat and shaking her head at your unabashed heckling.

Like you knew how the game worked.

You cringed at Alfie’s awful miss of a goal, lowering your phone and stopping the recording instantly. You loved him more than anything, but that was truly dreadful. Even he knew how bad it was as he dropped his head to his hands and laughed it off.

“Gosh, even his girlfriend is humiliated for him. Reader, run while you still can!”

Throughout the rest of the game, Alfie was subbed on and off, and Arabella went through phases of walking and down the floor, to sitting in your lap and talking to you.

At half time, you enthusiastically sang along to Tinie Tempah with the girls whilst feeding your daughter little chunks of fruit.

“Bella!” Liv gasped out as she peeled open a pot of yogurt for her.

Yasmin was busy fanning the back of Arabella’s neck, helping to keep the two year old as cool as possible to prohibit any whining and/or crying.

“No.” She shook her head, turning away from the spoonful of yogurt.

“No? Why no?” Liv pouted.

“Not yummy.”

“Oh, well that makes me really sad.” She sagged dramatically, trying to convince the toddler to eat.

“That just means more for mummy.” You shrugged, leaning towards Liv with an open mouth as she fed you yogurt instead.

“No mummy!” Arabella huffed, hitting your arm softly, “My gogurt!”

“Gogurt.” Yasmin repeated the way the two year old messed up with a scrunched up face and a laugh. “She’s too cute.”

“Oh, now you want it.” You tutted as she nodded.

Liv gathered more yogurt onto the spoon, feeding Arabella.

Your daughter hummed and gave you a smile, eyes scrunched shut and cheeks chubby as ever.

“Good?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

Whilst you were still waiting for some time to pass by, you and the girls took a picture for your instagram story, and you captioned it ‘sat amongst the rivals, they’re just funnier. sorry babe x’ before tagging Yas, Liv and Alfie.

You knew he’d see it since he was sitting in the changing rooms doing nothing.

You expected a funny reply, but he was obviously way too exhausted from running back and forth to even think up a clever response, so he just replied to it with a simple heart eye emoji.

The second half of the game commenced with Alfie on the sidelines again, tiny little vlog camera in his hands.

You prayed for him the moment he got back onto the pitch. This was his moment now. With twenty five minutes left on the clock, you were tense. He needed a serious redemption after the mess in his first half.

When you said redemption, you meant a few good passes or tackles, you didn’t mean an actual goal.

You weren’t expecting it at all considering how far away he was from the goal, but when he tested his luck and kicked the ball with a ferocious amount of power, your bum left the seat slightly, and when it swooshed into the back of the net, you were on your feet immediately, screaming louder than anyone else with your hands in the air, clapping wildly.

Something that didn’t shock you, were the immediate tears burning in your eyes.

You were so fucking proud of him.

This was a massive moment for him; scoring such an amazing goal like that isn’t something to be brushed aside or treated casually.

You were fully sobbing at this point as he stood for a celebratory pose in front of the camera. Your chest was wracking as Liv and Yasmin hugged you while you all jumped up and down in enjoyment, Arabella stood on the chairs behind you.

You scooped her up, pointing to where Alfie was jogging around, pumping his fist.

“Daddy scored, baby! Can you believe it?”

“Yay, daddy.” Arabella giggled.

He rounded the pitch until he got to the area directly in front of where you were standing. Though he was a good few metres away, the both of you waved enthusiastically.

He blew a dozen kisses at you, and you could barely make out his exclamation of love.

“I love you too!” You shouted back.

“His lovely girlfriend and daughter, so happy for him.”

“Yes, I think she might be crying for him, but it’s an emotional moment. You cannot blame her. Just 22 with a long-term girlfriend, a baby, and a Wembley Goal. What else could a man ask for?”

“For him? A trip to Turkey maybe. Sort out those nashers.”

You didn’t care for the rest of the match anymore. The outcome didn’t matter, because your boyfriend had done the most outstanding thing you could’ve expected him to do. Whether his team won or not really didn’t matter anymore.

Your heart was swelling in your chest, and though you were sure it should’ve been a health hazard the way it was pounding under your ribcage, you couldn’t care less.

You quite literally couldn’t put into words how outstandingly proud you felt of him. There weren’t enough words in the English dictionary to even begin to explain it, and even if there were, they would be insurmountable.

When Bach scored his second goal of the day, you all cheered with Liv as she filmed it for her own vlog.

“I can’t believe it!” She exclaimed, “Two goals— Wow, I’m so proud of him!”

Arabella began getting very bored of the game as it neared the end. The penalties were everything but suspenseful, because it was blatantly obvious who was going to win after the first two shots were taken.

Though Sidemen FC ended up losing, your joy never faltered, and your cheeks were aching from beaming nonstop since the 71 minute mark.

He must’ve been boiling to the point of nearing on passing out as all the boys did a lap of the stadium, but he, Will and Tobi had removed their shirts, walking around shirtless. You stuck your fingers into your mouth and whistled loudly.

“Behave!” Yasmin scolded you with a playful slap to the arm, the both of you laughing.

You were more than pleased to see him approaching after gathering his medal from the referee.

Wasting no time at all, you leaned over the barrier, slinging your arms around his shoulders and kissing him passionately. Yasmin was holding Arabella while Liv filmed and got some candid photos that she would send you later.

But you weren’t bothered about that for now.

You ended up growing emotional again mid-kiss after his hands came up to hold your face.

“I’m so proud of you, Alf.” You cried, resting your forehead against his, “I love you so much, you really deserved this.”

“I love you more, darlin’.” He grinned, stroking your nose with his before pressing a kiss to it.

He swiped your tears away with the pads of his fingers, being careful not to smudge your makeup.

“Where’s your jacket gone? Not repping the family name!” He laughed.

“On the seat. Alf, my tits are sweating off.”

“I fucking hope not.”

You scoffed, pushing him off.

“Alfie’s mrs getting a little grabby grabby with him there. Cheeky. Arabella watch out, you might have a sibling on the way after tonight.”

“Come and sit on the field with us.” Alfie said, taking Arabella from Yasmin.

She clung to him tightly, hugging him as much as she possibly could with her tiny body.

“Am I allowed?” You frowned.

“Oi, Josh!”

He turned around.

“Can Reader come sit with us?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He nodded.

You gathered your stuff, saying goodbye to the girls and promising to send them all the photos you’d taken. You slung Arabella’s carry on over your shoulder and Alfie took your jacket so you didn’t have to carry it.

She pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek with a giggle.

“Thank you, princess!” He grinned, kissing her cheek back.

The sun was beaming down on the pitch when you sat down on the grass, making it feel like the perfect type of afternoon to go and sit in a beer garden with your mates. You were sure there would be something like that after everyone had gone home and showered. If not tonight, then maybe tomorrow.

Alfie once again removed his shirt, not that you were complaining in the slightest, and slid it over your head.

“Alfie, it stinks!” You guffawed, immediately taking it off and fixing your hair.

“Bro!” He laughed, “Obviously.”

“Wash it and then I’ll wear it with pride.” You smiled, folding it up and putting it on the floor in front of you.

He dipped his head down to mutter into your ear, hand around your waist, “Wear it while I fuck you?”

“Don’t be dirty in public.” You scoffed before smirking, “But, after that goal? Baby, you can do whatever you want to me.”

“Too right.” He grinned like a cocky bastard, pressing a few pecks to your lips before turning away and getting involved in a conversation with someone else.

Halfway through your own conversation with Harry, Alfie had slipped his medal around your head so it rested on your neck instead.

“Bella, stay close please.” You called out to her as she walked on wobbly feet.

She was a confident walker, but she occasionally got way ahead of herself and stumbled.

Harry was keeping a watchful eye on her, shuffling around to follow her as she went, hands ready to reach out and catch her.

“Hi, Arabella!” JJ gasped, face lighting up at the sight of the toddler.

He had a football, the football that your gorgeous boyfriend had scored with, under his shirt, pretending to walk around pregnant.

She grinned up at him, waving with one hand as the other was clutching onto his leg.

“Will she kick a ball?” JJ asked you as he took the football out from under his shirt.

“Yeah, she will.” You nodded.

“Really?” Harry gaped as his friend put the ball in front of her.

Arabella looked down at the ball, reached her foot out, and nudged it forward a little bit.

“Oh, wow!” He gasped over dramatically, making her grin.

“She’s a better baller than me!” JJ laughed as she kicked the ball again, running after it.

Whilst being too focused on her feet and kicking the ball, she ended up tripping over and bumping into Tobi’s foot.

“Oh, hello!” He grinned at her as she dusted her hands off.

“You okay, baby?” You asked, half lying in Alfie’s lap at this point.

She nodded.

“Bella.” Tobi whispered, crouching down to get to her height, “You look very pretty today.”

She beamed at his compliment, “Dress!”

“Yes! With flowers.” He pointed to the larger flower embroidered over the fabric that wrapped around her stomach.

She giggled at the ticklish feeling.

“You guys, she’s so cute.” Tobi gushed, looking up at the two of you.

“Me!” She squealed.

“Yes, you!”

Alfie was scrolling on his phone as you rested your head in his lap, hand shielding your eyes from the sun.

The sound of a connecting call blared in your ear.

“AB! How you doing, bro?!” Chip exclaimed down the phone.

They had a conversation for a short amount of time as the YouTube AllStars lifted the trophy and celebrated their win.

“AB, come here.” Alfie beckoned Arabella away from where she was chasing Arthur around on the grass.

He was pretending to be slow so she could catch up to him, which made you smile endearingly.

“Can you stop calling her that?” You slapped him on the abs.

“Why, it’s her initials?”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head as your daughter came bounding over, peering at what her dad had to show her on his phone.

“Ip!” She gasped, choking in her own air and coughing.

“You good?” Alfie hummed, patting her back.

“Hi Ip!”

“Yo, my little Arab! How you doing? You proud of your dad?”

“Mhm!” She hummed, rocking back and forth on her feet, “Had gogurt.”

“Your dad had yogurt?”

“No, me!”

“Oh, you had yogurt! Of course!” Chip laughed heartily, “You know who makes a good yogurt?”

He panned the camera to Sabina.

“‘Ina!” Arabella exclaimed, trying to get closer to the screen as if that meant she would be closer to Sabina.

You sat up to hold her back slightly, placing her on your lap because being that good to a screen would be no good on her eyes.

“Hi Bella!” Sabina greeted, waving.

You leaned over, resting your head on Alfie’s bare shoulder and humming contently as he let Arabella take the phone to talk to her uncle and auntie. Alfie turned his head, kissing your hair repeatedly.

“Arab, go find Uncle Arthur for me, I wanna say something to him.” Chip asked of her.

She clambered out of your lap and went waddling towards the man.

You laughed, sitting up as you and Alfie were granted some time to yourselves.

You sat up, shuffling to be facing him with your legs on the floor but your knees tucked up.

His legs were extended outwards.

“I am so proud of you, Alf.” You smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips, “So proud.”

He just grinned at you, shining, sharp canines on show.

“And it’s got nothing to do with the goal. Whether you scored or not, I would’ve been proud either way.”

“God, gonna make me cry, girl. C’mere.” He pulled you closer so your chests were pressed together and your chin was resting on his shoulder as he pressed kisses to her neck and jawline.

“Love you so much, Alfie.”

“Love you more,” He grinned, “Gonna smack a fat ring on your finger soon. Promise you that.”

[xoxoluvcloud]

PART ONE

nature walks~alfie buttle

(first time eva writing pls be nice,any advice would be appreciated i hope you enjoy luv xx)

you and alfie had just got back to the grotto after being in london for what felt like forever,you loved london and being with your friends but the grotto? the grotto was home and way more peaceful than the chaotic streets of london

the grotto had been cleaned by alfie’s mum which you of course scolded him for telling him that he’s a grown man and his mum shouldn’t have to clean up after him anymore,you both settled in and chilled on the very small sofa

it was quite other than the noise from our phones until alfie spoke up

“you wanna go on a drive or something girl i’m bored..”he tilted his head towards you

“could go get the dogs from your mums?”you look at him as you speak

Alfie huffed out a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was pretending not to care too much.

“Yeah… yeah, alright”he said, glancing over at you with a small smile tugging at his lips.

you and alfie had just pulled up outside his mum’s house after being in london for what felt like forever. you loved london and being with your friends, but the grotto? the grotto was home—way more peaceful than the chaotic streets you’d just escaped

alfie barely had time to knock before the door swung open, his mum already smiling like she’d been waiting

“there you two are,” she said, stepping aside. “someone’s been asking for you all day.”

before you could even reply, the dogs came charging down the hallway, nails tapping loudly against the floor as they threw themselves at you both, tails wagging like mad

“oh my days—hi babies!” you laughed, crouching down as they practically knocked you over

alfie shook his head, grinning as one of them jumped up at him. “alright, alright, missed you too.”

his mum crossed her arms, giving him a look. “they’ve been better behaved than you ever were.”

“cheers for that,” he muttered, grabbing the leads

you stood up, brushing your hands off. “acting like she’s not telling the truth”you said teasing him

“ she laughed and nodded then pointed at alfie. “and you—try keeping your place clean for once, yeah?”

you snorted. “don’t worry, i’ve already told him off for that.”

alfie looked between you both. “why am i getting attacked from all angles today?”

“because you deserve it,” you and his mum said at the same time, making you both laugh

not long after, you and alfie were back at the grotto, the dogs already making themselves at home like they’d never left. you both settled onto the very small sofa, your legs tangled slightly as the dogs sprawled across the floor

it was quiet—proper quiet—apart from the occasional noise from your phones and the soft sounds of the dogs shifting around

until alfie spoke up

“you wanna do something? walk the dogs” he tilted his head towards you

you looked over at him, raising an eyebrow slightly

“could go walk down that place you wanted to show me… take the dogs?”

he paused for a second, then let out a small breath, like he’d made up his mind

“yeah… yeah, alright. that place. been meaning to take you there anyway,” he said, glancing over at you with a small smile tugging at his lips

the dogs, as if they understood every word, immediately lifted their heads, tails thumping against the ground

you grinned. “see? even they’re more excited than you.”

“oi, i am excited,” he shot back, nudging your knee with his. “just don’t wanna hype it up too much. you’ll start expecting, like… the eiffel tower or something.”

you laughed, standing up and grabbing your jacket. “if it’s not at least mildly magical, i’m leaving.”

“bit harsh, that,” he muttered, but he was smiling properly now

a few minutes later, you were both outside, the cool air wrapping around you in that quiet, comforting way the grotto always had

alfie clicked his keys, and the headlights of his defender flashed softly in the dim light

“after you,” he nodded towards the passenger side

you smiled, walking around and hopping in, the familiar smell of his car instantly comforting. behind you, the two fluffy chihuahuas were already settled into their little dog car seat, strapped in like they were about to go on the most important journey of their lives

“look at them,” you laughed, twisting in your seat. “they’re literally sat better than us”

“they’ve got more discipline than you, that’s why,” alfie said, shutting his door and starting the engine

you scoffed. “rude.”

the engine rumbled to life, and not long after, you were pulling away—out of the grotto and into the winding country lanes

it didn’t take long before the music was on

and loud

“no way you just put this on—” you started, already smiling

“don’t even act like you don’t love it,” he cut in, turning it up even more

and that was it

windows cracked open, cool air rushing in, the sky fading into soft shades of pink and purple as the sun dipped lower—you were both singing your hearts out, completely off-key, not caring in the slightest

alfie drummed against the steering wheel, shouting the lyrics like he was performing to a full crowd, while you laughed mid-song, trying to keep up but mostly just making it worse

in the back, the chihuahuas sat like tiny, fluffy passengers, occasionally letting out little barks like they were joining in

“they’re judging us, you know,” you said between laughs

“nah,” alfie grinned, glancing at them in the mirror, then back at you. “they rate us.”

you shook your head, smiling anyway

the road stretched ahead, narrow and quiet, lined with trees and open fields, the kind of drive that made everything else feel far away

and for a while, it was just that—

music, laughter, and the two of you, completely in your own little world

until alfie slowed the car slightly, glancing over at you

“we’re close,” he said, softer now

and something about the way he said it made your heart do that annoying little flip again

the road slowly turned narrower, the trees growing thicker on either side until it felt like you were driving through a tunnel of green

alfie finally pulled the defender to a stop on a quiet patch of gravel, the engine rumbling softly before he turned it off

“we’re here,” he said, glancing over at you

you looked out the window, then back at him. “this better not be you kidnapping me, alfie.”

he smirked. “if i was, i wouldn’t bring the dogs. too many witnesses.”

“true,” you laughed, already reaching for the door

as soon as you stepped out, the air felt different—fresher, quieter, like the whole place was tucked away from everything else

alfie opened the back doors, unclipping the two fluffy chihuahuas from their little seats as they wriggled with excitement

“calm down, you two,” he muttered, though he was smiling

you took one of the leads from him, your fingers brushing slightly

“thanks,” you said, a bit softer without meaning to

he didn’t say anything for a second, just gave you a small look before nodding towards the path ahead

“come on then”

the walk started off narrow, a soft dirt path weaving between tall trees, bits of golden light breaking through the leaves above

the dogs trotted ahead like they were on a mission, occasionally pulling slightly on the leads as if they knew exactly where they were going

“you sure they haven’t been here before?” you teased

“wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve got better memory than me,” alfie replied

you walked side by side, your shoulders brushing every now and then, neither of you moving away

“so,” you said after a moment, glancing at him, “this your secret escape place, yeah?”

he shrugged, hands in his pockets. “something like that. come here when i need a bit of quiet”

you smiled slightly. “and you brought me here… that’s a big deal, you know”

he looked at you then, properly, a little grin creeping in. “don’t get too gassed about it”

“oh, i am,” you nudged him. “i’m honoured, actually”

“yeah? i’ll remember that next time you’re being rude to me”

“i’m never rude,” you shot back instantly

he raised an eyebrow. “you called me a grown man who can’t clean his own place… in front of my mum”

you laughed. “because it’s true!”

he shook his head, trying not to smile, but you caught it anyway

the path began to open up, the trees thinning until you stepped out into a wide, quiet clearing

you slowed slightly, taking it in

a gentle stream ran through the middle, the water catching the last bits of sunlight, and wildflowers dotted the grass like they’d just grown there naturally without anyone touching them

“alfie…” you said softly, almost under your breath

“told you it wasn’t bad,” he replied, but his voice was quieter now too

“not bad?” you turned to him. “this is… really nice”

for a second, neither of you moved

the dogs ran ahead again, completely carefree, giving you an excuse to just stand there a moment longer

alfie stepped a little closer beside you, close enough that your arms brushed again—this time neither of you pretending it was accidental

“glad you like it,” he said

you looked up at him, smiling slightly. “i do”

he held your gaze for just a second longer than usual, then nudged you lightly

“come on, before they disappear and we have to explain to my mum why we lost her favourite dogs”

you laughed, breaking the moment but not really losing it

“you mean your fault, yeah?”

“nah, i’ll blame you. she likes you more anyway”

“as she should,” you grinned, starting to walk again

he shook his head, falling into step beside you

and as you carried on through the clearing, laughing, teasing, and bumping into each other every now and then, it felt easy—like the kind of moment you didn’t realise you’d remember until much later

but somehow… you already knew you would.

let me know if you want a part two!!!

luv ya xx

[xoxoluvcloud]

bieberchella~alfie buttle

based off this request @loveheart-123 hope you enjoy xx

The flat was unusually loud for a place with only one person in it.

Music echoed from the TV, the bass slightly too high, the volume turned up just enough to feel like it almost counted as being there. You sat curled up on the sofa, knees tucked under you, eyes glued to the screen.

“ Coachella, are you ready?”

You let out a small, broken laugh, already sniffling as Justin Bieber appeared on stage, the crowd screaming so loud it almost hurt to listen to.

“Stop it…” you muttered to yourself, wiping under your eyes, only for more tears to fall anyway. “I should literally be there.”

Your outfit definitely didn’t help. Tiny denim shorts, a little cropped top, hair done properly for once, a bit of glitter across your cheekbones—like you were actually at Coachella instead of sat in your London living room with a blanket half falling off your lap.

You hugged a cushion tighter to your chest as he started singing one of your favourites, your voice coming out wobbly as you tried to sing along.

“I waited years for this…” you whispered, voice cracking.

The front door clicked.

You didn’t even hear it over the music.

Alfie stepped in, gym bag slung over his shoulder, hoodie slightly damp at the collar, curls a mess from where he’d been running his hands through them. He shut the door quietly behind him, expecting the usual—maybe you scrolling on your phone, maybe something random on TV.

Instead, he froze.

You were sat there like you were about to go out, all dressed up, eyes glassy, singing through tears at the TV.

He blinked once. Twice.

“…what the hell?” he mumbled under his breath, already fighting a smile.

He dropped his bag by the door and walked in slowly, leaning against the wall for a second just watching you.

You were fully invested—hand over your heart, lip trembling, whisper-singing like Justin himself could hear you.

“Baby…” Alfie called softly.

You flinched, quickly wiping your face, embarrassed. “Don’t look at me.”

That only made him grin more.

“Oh my days,” he laughed quietly, walking closer. “You’re actually crying.”

“I’m not!” you shot back, voice thick, immediately betraying you.

He sat down beside you, the sofa dipping under his weight, his arm automatically sliding around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

“You’re in a full festival outfit,” he added, glancing you up and down. “Shorts, glitter… everything. In our living room.”

You hid your face in his chest. “Shut up.”

“I go gym for an hour and come back to this,” he teased. “Thought I walked into the wrong flat.”

You lightly smacked his chest. “Alfie, I’m being serious.”

“I know, I know,” he said quickly, his tone softening straight away when he felt you tense. His hand came up to your face, gently brushing under your eyes with his thumb. “Hey… don’t cry, yeah?”

You let out a small, frustrated sigh. “I just really wanted to go… like, you know how much I love him.”

“I know,” he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your temple. “I know you do.”

You sniffed, glancing back at the TV. “It’s not even the same watching it here.”

“Course it isn’t,” he said. “You’d be screaming your head off there, embarrassing me.”

You huffed out a small laugh. “I would not—”

“You would,” he cut in, smirking. “Front row, crying worse than this, probably fainting or something.”

You nudged him. “Shut up, I wouldn’t faint.”

He tilted his head. “You’re crying at the TV, babe.”

“…that’s different.”

He laughed under his breath, pulling you closer, his fingers absentmindedly tracing up and down your arm.

There was a quiet moment where neither of you spoke, just watching the performance together.

Then you said softly, “I feel bad as well… like, I could’ve gone.”

Alfie frowned slightly. “Why didn’t you, then?”

You shrugged. “Because of your match. I wanted to be here for it.”

He looked at you properly then, something softer replacing the teasing.

“You didn’t have to miss it for me, you know.”

“I wanted to,” you said, like it was obvious. “It’s important to you.”

He exhaled slowly, shaking his head a little, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re actually too good sometimes.”

“Yeah, I know,” you muttered, leaning into him. “It’s a problem.”

He snorted. “Alright, don’t push it.”

You both watched in silence again before you quietly added, “Still gutted though.”

“I can tell,” he said, glancing at your tear-stained cheeks.

You rolled your eyes slightly. “Oh my god, stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m pathetic.”

“I’m not,” he said, nudging your chin up so you had to look at him. “I think it’s kinda cute.”

You squinted at him. “You would.”

“And,” he added, smirk creeping back, “the outfit’s a bonus.”

You immediately shoved his shoulder. “You’re so annoying.”

“Am I wrong though?” he said, looking you up and down again, not even subtle about it. “You’re sat here crying but still look fit.”

You tried to stay annoyed but failed, a small smile slipping through. “You’re actually the worst.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

You didn’t answer, just tucked yourself into his side again.

“…I do,” you mumbled.

He pressed another kiss to your head, holding you a bit tighter.

“Tell you what,” he said after a second. “We’ll make up for it, yeah?”

You glanced up. “How?”

“We’ll go to something. Not the same, I know,” he shrugged, “but still. Festival, concert, whatever you want. I’ll even stand there while you scream and cry again.”

You laughed softly. “You’d hate that.”

“Probably,” he admitted. “But I’ll deal with it.”

You looked back at the TV, then at him, your expression soft.

“…promise?”

“Promise.”

You leaned up, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” he said, then paused before adding, “within reason.”

You pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, here we go.”

“I’m not dressing like Justin Bieber next, don’t even ask.”

You burst out laughing, the heaviness in your chest finally easing.

“Shame,” you said. “You’d suit it.”

“Yeah?” he smirked. “Careful, you’re starting something.”

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling now, cuddled into him as the music kept playing, his hand warm against your arm, thumb tracing slow, comforting patterns.

Not quite Coachella.

But not bad either.

[howdoifindher]

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝓊𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

𝓅𝑜𝓋: Alfie, weirdly, asked her out!

𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: Part 2 of so easy! Lots of love🤍

.⋆ 𖥔 ݁ ˖₊‧.⭒.‧₊˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ .

Camden Market, London

Tuesday, April 14

The last three days passed in a rush of comfort, birthday wishes and familiar love. One thing still hadn't changed. The face of the charming girl from the bakery haunted his past nights. Every dawn, when Alfie's head hit the pillow to unwind from the day, his thoughts would find themselves drifting to her.

It was a cold night in London, nothing unusual for the city, Alfie was with his friends shooting a video for one of their channels. Of course, to keep the spirits up for the challenges ahead, the boys had a few beers. Making their way through the city to a small pub near the market, Alfie distanced himself from the group of tipsy friends with a half-assed excused.

After a few minutes of walking without a purpose, he stopped in front of the white lights. Standing there with the cold breeze hitting his face, it finally dawned on him where his tipsy mind had brought him. The soft green walls, the vases full of colourful flowers and the empty window brought the memories back.

Alfie took a step forward to peek inside, ignoring the disappointing 'closed' sign. His vision focused on the bright lights and the baking trays with water droplets on top of one of the counters. His ears caught the familiar tune coming from inside the store. When the chorus of 'Rein me In' came, a familiar silhouette appeared from the door that probably lead to the kitchen. The girl, without her work apron, danced and singed to the tune as she prepared the bakery for opening the next day. Her moves where careless as she was blissfully unaware of the boy that watched from the window.

A soft knock on the window from Alfie was enough to make the girl jump. A embarrassing shriek escaping her lips as she turned desperately to see where the noise came from. When she figured the man on the window, a genuine smile grazed her lips immediately.

"You scared me!" she tried to scold the boy who laughed at the pink tint that grazed her cheeks. Unlocking the door, she observed the boy: the casual and cosy outfit in dark colours contrasted with her light work clothes. "Can I help you?"

Alfie took a deep breath before speaking. "Yeah, I was there-" he points behind him "- with my mates and I, hum, though about… my mum liked the cupcake. Best one she had or, whatever.". The strong accent, flushed cheeks and difficulty to compose full sentences gave the girl everything she needed to know.

"Are you drunk?" her voice surprised as she looked up at the man.

"No…." the answer came after a bit of thinking from him.

The girl stayed quiet for a beat. "Sure, I'll pretend to believe that."

"Alfie."

"Alfie? That's a pretty name…." She bit her lip to contain her laughter.

"Its mine, yeah." His voice slurred.

A soft giggle escaped her. She opened the door more to let the tall man enter the bakery. As he sat on a table, she quickly walked behind the counter to grab him a bottle of water from a fridge. As she tosses him the bottle a bunch of hurried words escape his lips.”Can I take you out on a date?"

As she leaned on the counter, she stared as the boy took a long sip of the bottle. "Are you sure?" she tilts her head. At his eager nod she mutters a sure. Grabbing a pen, she walks to him. Tilting his water bottle, she scribbles her number and name on the paper label. "There you go.”

"I'll text you"

"I'll wait for it then" she says as they walk to the door. "Do you need help finding your friends or?…"

"Nah, they're right there. I'll be alright… I'll talk to you then…"

The girl looks down as the drunk boy awkwardly extends his hand. Taking his large hand in her much smaller one, she shakes it anyway. "I'll be waiting Alfie."

She leans on the doorsill to watch the boy walk back to his friends down the road. She laughs as the boy screams down the road next to his friends: "Nice playlist, by the way!"

As she goes back to finish her tasks for the night, the butterflies fly around in her stomach. A sentiment she hadn't experienced in a while, and she had a feeling these would stick with her.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[honeytot]

Please could u write something about riding Alfie’s bicep

Bicep riding - Mean!Alfie x Sub!Reader . ˳ ✧ॱ

Alfie had not been paying attention to you today, he ignored your attempts at letting him know you wanted him.

After your last attempt at gaining his attention and failing, you huff and sit back against your heels, giving him a soft pout.

He finally looks away from his phone screen and looks at your flustered face, a small smirk pulling at his lips as he watches you.

“You wanna cum so bad, bunny?”

“Yeah…”

There’s a beat of silence between the two of you as he takes a look over your body.

“Ride my bicep.”

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“Don’t act shy now, show me how bad you want it.”

You let out a quiet breath and straddle his arm, sinking down onto the bulge of his bicep.

Alfie tenses his arm as you start to grind your core over his muscles, a hand on his shoulder for balance.

“Look at you… rubbing that needy little pussy over my arm.”

The warm feeling in your stomach builds as your movements speed up, Alfie continues tensing under you, the muscles becoming harder which makes them feel like heaven against your clit.

“Come for me, bunny… show me how desperate you are…”

“M’close…”

“Let it out…”

Your orgasm washes over you in one big wave, leaving you panting and shaking.

Alfie’s large hand reaches out and pushes some hair out of your face as he pulls the other arm gently from under you.

He wraps an arm around you and pulls you to lay down next to him. Rubbing your back with his large hand.

“Love it when you listen to me, bun… such a good girl.”

[abficlibrary]

Summary: the return of the tiktok trends... ab x reader word count 2693

based on a whole bunch of requests from you lovely lot xx

ALFIE WAS WARY every time you pulled your phone out around him now. He’d been tricked into too many Tiktoks that were going to haunt him forever. By now you expected him to have learnt his lesson. Obviously he hadn't.

All you’d told him to do was stand in front of you, hold your hands and jump when you counted down. What could go wrong?

Alfie realised he’d been set up a second too late. He was already in the air making himself look like a mug. Then you started laughing and he knew it must have looked bad. He rolled his eyes, throwing a tantrum the moment his feet were back on the ground.

The video cut to you laughing, fanning yourself from just how hot the action was getting to you. Your stomach actually hurt. When you flipped the camera he was pouting on the sofa, refusing to look at you, face like a slapped arse. 

He was such a baby. 

user his ego is so bruised

user PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

“I want you to do this Tiktok with me.”

“Absolutely not.”

You pouted. “I think you’d actually really like this one though.”

The moment you told Alfie that sex was on the table he was suddenly a big fan of this Tiktok. That probably should have been what you led with. 

You weren’t actually fussed about the video at all, but if there was one thing you refused to do it was initiate sex, especially when he’d been pissing you off earlier in the day. You didn’t want to admit you wanted him. Therefore, you had a plan. 

The two of you were sitting beside each other in your bed, looking relatively normal to start with. You had a feeling that was going to be very different by the end. You just prayed no one sent your mum this video. 

“Taco Bell.”

Your eyes opened, pouting when Alfie’s didn’t. 

“Burger King.”

Your eyes opened. His eyes opened. You winked at the camera. 

The next clip saw Alfie’s shirt off, the strap of your top slipping down your arm. You were grinning like a woman who had just gotten exactly what you wanted. 

“McDonald’s.”

Both your eyes opened. You bit your lip, excitement probably seeping through the screen. 

When the video carried on your hair was a mess, now down and flowing around your shoulders. It was pretty obvious someone had been tugging at it, but there was no shame in your expression one bit. You were having the time of your life. 

“Chili’s. Wendy’s.”

Your eyes opened both times. You’d never been to either. You pulled a face at him that he wouldn’t see until after you posted this. When he did finally watch this and realise what you’d been doing all along, he would probably be fuming, knowing he could have gone a few more rounds if he just hadn’t been so clueless. Originally, you thought he would have done the same, but apparently he chose now to finally not be a menace. 

“Dominoes.”

You almost cheered when your eyes locked with his through your phone screen. 

The covers were now pulled up around your chest, any trace of clothing that had been there in the beginning of the video now gone. There was a slight sheen to your skin and a glassy look in your eye. It was a miracle you were still going. 

“Subway.”

Alfie’s eyes flew open and you knew this one was going to be a good one. Your grin gave away your eagerness. You barely managed to stop the video before he was pouncing on you again. In his defence he was very passionate about Subway. 

Alfie had taken over the rest of the recording. Every inch of your body was trembling, chest heaving as your head laid in the crook of his neck. He looked pretty proud of himself. 

“Dunkin donuts.”

You were gone. You didn’t have the energy to open your eyes anymore, not after 4 rounds. He was going to take pride in this video once it was posted to your Tiktok, probably reposting it on his own too. He could imagine it would be talked about for a while, but given how blissed out you looked right now no one would be able to say a bad word. 

user bro what did you do to her

user oh she had a plannn

user u can tell she’s a freak

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Your phone was just out of sight, propped up beside your makeup bag where Alfie couldn’t see. You were waiting for him to come into your bedroom so you could finally start messing with him for your Tiktok, but he seemed to be doing every job in the house like he knew you were waiting on him. You nearly cheered when he finally wandered into your room.

He was moving the pillows around, pulling back the blanket so he could get straight into bed when he was ready. 

It took him a couple minutes to realise you were just standing at the edge of the bed holding your pyjamas. He looked at you strangely, like he was waiting for you to say something. When you didn’t he knew he had to ask. 

“Why aren’t you getting changed?” 

You frowned, lowering your voice so your question came out almost shy. “Can you turn around?” 

He blinked. “You what?” 

“I don’t want you to watch me get changed.” 

He stopped what he was doing, hands resting on his hips, brow furrowing as he tried to work out what you were playing at. “I’ve seen parts of you that even you haven’t seen. You didn’t have this attitude yesterday when I—“

“Oh, my god, shut up. What’s your problem?” 

“What’s my problem?”

You huffed. “Alfie, can you please just turn around?” 

Despite the way he grumbled at how weird you were acting, he still did as you said. Your heart soared. You actually started feeling a bit bad as you changed out of your comfy clothes into your sleep ones. He didn’t peek once, not even to try and be funny. He just respected your wishes— a move you hadn’t expected. 

“Okay, I’m done.” 

You couldn’t quite place the look on his face when he turned back around. He seemed to be deep in thought. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why?” 

“I haven’t done anything to upset you?” You shook your head, feeling instantly guilty for making him think like that. “And you’re not, like, feeling bad about yourself? ‘Cause I’d be more than happy to show you how gorgeous you are…” 

“Alf.” 

Your eyes darted to your vanity where your phone sat. Only then did he spot the camera. He sighed, body deflating. He hated your little Tiktok trends. “Fuck sake. You scared me. Don’t worry me like that.” 

user 🥺

user the way he was gonna expose her 😭

user why is he actually kind of sweet

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Whenever Alfie willingly participated in your trends, the comments couldn’t help but wonder what you bribed him with. This was one of those times.

You were both in frame, standing face to face, though he looked as confused as ever.

“If you pants me again I’m gonna lose my shit.” 

You chuckled at the memory, but shook your head. “I won’t, I promise. I do need you to put your arms up though.” You helped move him into the stance you wanted, although he was still unsure whether you were going to tickle him or not. That was something he really didn’t fuck with. You were pretty sure he was going to be happy with the turn this took.

You placed your hands on either side of his face, grinning at the intense stare he looked at you with. He could never anticipate how these videos were going to go.

He was pleasantly surprised when you kissed him.

It took him all of 3 seconds for his arms to wrap around your waist and his body sink into yours. He held you so tightly that your feet lifted ever so slightly off the ground, until he eventually just picked you up when he didn’t feel close enough. Alfie kissed you like a man starved, tongue swiping across your lip in an action you knew was probably too much for Tiktok.

The camera was still recording when he carried you to the nearest flat surface, so you knew most of the video was going to have to be cut out. That was a problem for later though.

user rare ab kiss

user he’s literally eating her face

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

“Oh, my god, Alf!” You sat up, phone slyly recording him. Your legs were in his lap, his fingers moving mindlessly along your legs as he scrolled through his phone with his other hand. He barely reacted to the shock in your voice. 

“What?” 

“I’ve just found George on Hinge.” 

His brow furrowed, like the words hadn’t really registered yet. “George?” You nodded. “Clarke?” 

You expected a better reaction than that at least. This video was going to be boring if he didn’t end up catching on. “Yeah. I was going through my likes and he was there.” 

He put his phone down, looking genuinely concerned for a moment. You thought it might have finally clicked. It didn’t. “That’s mad. He’s got a girl too, hasn’t he?” 

You nodded, staring at him. You thought this would be a lot easier. Maybe he just doesn’t listen to you. “Yep. Can you believe he came up on my Hinge as well? Small world.” 

He started shaking his head, like he was genuinely disappointed in his friend. At least you could appreciate that. “Thought he was better than that, you know. Poor girl.” 

“Yeah.” 

You flipped the camera around to show your expression of disbelief. 

Only when you went quiet did it finally hit him. He sat up, brows drawing together to shoot you a look. “Oi, actually, what you doing on Hinge?” 

user he’s actually so slow

user george would never cheat on a baddie like yas

user nooo why did it cut off??

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

“Hi guys, so I’m gonna be asking Alfie some questions, and he’s promised to answer honestly.” He was laid down beside you, just his top half in the camera frame, as you sat cross legged with your phone in your lap. Your back was partly to him, mainly to try and conceal some of your laughter. “Haven’t you?” 

“Yes.” 

You grinned, eyes flickering down to the notes app on your phone. “Okay. Question one: would you rather have never met me or cheat on me right now?” 

He froze. His brain was short circuiting. “Um…” He only felt added pressure seeing you stare at him through the screen impatiently. In his eyes there was no obvious choice, but you were making it seem like there was. “Never met you.” He saw the turn your expression was taking and jumped in. “No ‘cause, listen right– I’m confident that if we’re meant to be, which we obviously are, we’ll meet again anyway.” 

His answer shocked you. And you were positive it would get him rinsed in the comments. It was actually quite sweet though. “That was really nice, Alf. Good answer.” 

He fist pumped the air. 

“Question two: If you had a friend named Chloe, what would you call her?”

His brow furrowed. Considering the difficulty of the last one, saved by his quick thinking, this seemed wildly easier. “Chloe?” 

You scoffed, giving him a dirty look in the camera. “Wrong.” He should have known it was a trick question. “Why do you have a friend called Chloe?” 

“Fuck sake.” His head dropped face first into the pillow he was holding in his arms. He was massively regretting agreeing to this. 

Only the camera could see the pure joy on your face. Alfie would only see when he watched it back. Sometimes it was nice being able to take joy in your boyfriend’s misery. He had certainly tormented you enough over the years.

“Question three: Would you ever move on if something happened to me?” 

His head was still hidden in the pillow, so his words came out as a half-hearted mumble. “What age am I living to?” 

“I don’t know, 85?” 

He sighed deeply, turning his head to the side to meet your eye. He was taking this one seriously. It was important he got it right. “And this is if something happened to you now? At our age?” 

“Yeah.” 

He hummed. He’d caught on at this point. He knew there was no right way for him to answer these questions without you getting upset with him. “So, if I don’t move on I’d be alone from now for the rest of my life?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Answer the question, Alfie.” 

“I’d probably just get a dog. Be like the man from Up, in my little house, with my balloons and shit.” He shrugged. That was the best answer he could think of that might not irritate you. 

You frowned, getting a little teary eyed. Your bottom lip trembled. 

He seemed surprised, but he got up to comfort you anyway, changing positions so he could sit beside you and wrap an arm around your shoulders. “What you crying for, silly girl?” he laughed, though it wasn’t cruel.

“Thinking about you as a lonely old man is so sad.” 

“So, you want me to move on?” 

“Fuck no.” 

He was still shaking his head when you moved on to the next question.

You sniffled. “Okay, last one: Do you ever wish you had a good sense of humour?”

He took his arm back and pushed you playfully onto the bed. “Nah, you’re just taking the piss now, girl. Sick of this shit.”

user ur bf gets ragebaited by ab’s mrs

user he’s actually so easy to wind up

user never stop doing this

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

“Put this on.” 

The scrap of black fabric was supposed to be a makeshift blindfold. The idea of you getting out your phone and doing god knows what while he couldn’t see terrified him. “No. What are you doing? Are you gonna do something horrible?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m seeing if you know my height. Stop being so paranoid.” You couldn’t exactly blame him seeing as the last 2 times you’d asked him to stand in front of you like this had been for something silly, and it was even worse now that there was a blindfold involved. He just needed to trust you more. 

With a deep sigh, he tied the fabric around the back of his head, obviously missing the look you sent to the camera when you realised you quite liked seeing him like this. You filed that thought away for later. 

“You ready?” 

“I was born ready, gal.” 

Alfie was quite a bit taller than you, with him standing just over 6 foot. It was always a stretch for the two of you to share a kiss considering you weren’t at eye level, but he always made it work. He just had to be at the right angle. 

He took a step closer, needing to recreate the normal stance for when he kissed you in this position. From there he knew exactly how low he needed to dip his head. He’d done it a million times before. It was ingrained in him at this point. 

His lips met yours with ease, hands sliding around your waist to pull you close. You couldn’t help but grin, throwing your arms around his neck in glee. Part of you had thought he might be a little bit off, but his muscle memory had come through. He’d been kissing you for almost 4 years, whether he could see or not he wasn’t going to forget that feeling. 

“Did I do good?” he mumbled, pulling away ever so slightly. 

“Amazing. 10/10.”

user oh he knows his girl

user with zero hesitation? girl you won

[buttlesangel]

brothers bestfriend alfie pt 7

a/n: oh wow look he's actually nice for once, guys this series is lowkey coming to an end, this might be the second last chapter if i can fit it all in the next one. lowkey has been a very fun character to write for, may do shit for him in the future!!!

@ghostwrittenbygrace @dilfslutsstuff @kislnd @lenneyswhore @cigarettesafterbooks @teleskinnd @obaltineobyss @luvbuttlestv @sdmnpact @lostdeerinthemist @ghostedindigo @luvdixonxx @headinthewalls @alice07ea @lovinqbella

The days after Tom left bled into a cycle of sadness. The world outside your window continued, but you were trapped in a silent, suffocating bubble of grief. You ignored calls from friends, let your homework pile up, and existed on a diet of tea and stale crackers. Ryan, your brother, had tried everything. He'd knocked on your door, left plates of food outside, and spoken through the wood in gentle, coaxing tones, but you'd just mumbled that you were fine, that you just needed time.

It was Alfie who finally broke the fragile stalemate. He appeared on your doorstep five days after the party, looking as haggard as you felt, a greasy paper bag from the local chippy in his hand. "You need to eat something," he said, his voice rough, by passing any greeting.

You should have slammed the door in his face. Instead, a part of you, the weak, lonely part, was just so tired of fighting. You stepped aside and let him in.

The silence in the living room was a physical presence. You picked at the cold, soggy chips, while he sat on the edge of the armchair, his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. It was him who finally broke it, his voice laced with a frustration that had clearly been simmering for days.

"You can't just let your life fall apart because of this," he said, not looking at you. "You can't just hide in here forever."

And just like that, the dam of your suppressed fury burst. "And who's fault is that?" you snarled, your voice shaking with rage. "If you had just stayed away, if you hadn't shown up at that party with your tragic, 'You deserve this' bullshit, Tom and I would still be together!"

"Oh, so this is all my fault?" he shot back, finally looking at you, his eyes flashing. "I'm sorry, I must have forgotten the part where I held a gun to your head and made you moan my name while you were in bed with him! My mistake!"

"You are unbelievable!" you stood up, knocking the container of chips onto the floor. "You broke me, Alfie. You’re acting like the fucking victim!"

"I'm not trying to be the victim! I'm trying to help you!"

"Helping would be staying the hell away from me!"

The front door swung open, cutting through the storm of your argument. Ryan stood there, his gym bag slung over his shoulder, his face a mask of confusion as he took in the scene you trembling with fury, Alfie on his feet, his face flushed with anger, and a mess of food on the floor.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Alfie's head snapped towards him, and you saw it. the flash of pure panic in his eyes. He looked at you, his expression a desperate, silent plea. Don't. Please, for the love of God, don't.

And in that moment, looking at his terrified face, something inside you finally, irrevocably shattered. The secret keeping, the tiptoeing, the shared burden of a history that had poisoned everything. You were done. You were so fucking done of protecting him, of protecting yourself, of carrying this immense, crushing weight alone.

"Tom broke up with me," you said, your voice shaking but clear, your eyes locked on your brother. "At the party. Because of Alfie."

Ryan's brow furrowed, his gaze shifting between you and his best friend. "What? Why? What did you do?"

"He thinks... he thinks there's still something going on between us," you continued, the words tumbling out now that you'd started. "Because I... I made a mistake once. And Tom found out. And he thinks Alfie's someone he can't compete with."

Alfie made a choked sound of protest. "Don't. Please, Ryan, it's not what you think."

But Ryan was already putting the pieces together, his expression darkening with a slow-burning fury. "Wait. When you say 'mistake'... you don't mean just... talking, do you?" The question hung in the air, charged with a terrible dawning comprehension. "How long has this been going on?"

"It's not!" Alfie insisted, stepping forward, his hands held up in a gesture of placation. "Ryan, listen to me. It was before. It was all before Tom. I stopped it. For you."

Ryan's head tilted, a flicker of disbelief in his eyes before it was consumed by rage. "For me?" he repeated, his voice dangerously soft. He took a step closer to Alfie, his whole body coiling with tension. "You think this is about me? You think I give a shit who my sister sleeps with?"

"He knew, Ryan!" you cried, your voice cracking. "He knew I had a crush on him for years! He knew I was in love with him, and he still did it!"

Ryan's eyes widened, his gaze snapping back to Alfie.

"We slept together," you forced the words out, each one a fresh wound. "And he took my virginity. And he was so horrible to me afterwards. He acted like I was a child, like I was some stupid little kid with a crush, as if we're not even two years apart! He treated me like I was an inconvenience, like I was something to be ashamed of."

Tears were streaming down your face now, hot and unstoppable. "And then... then he told me he only did it because he pitied me. That he used me for sex because he felt sorry for me. He said he didn't feel anything for me at all. He broke me, Ryan. He completely shattered me. And then he shows up at the party, acting all jealous and possessive, like he has any right to be, and he breaks up me and Tom!"

The room was utterly silent, save for your ragged sobs. Ryan stood frozen, his face pale with shock as he processed the litany of pain you had just unleashed. He looked at Alfie, and the fury in his eyes was no longer just anger; it was a murderous, protective rage.

"You..." Ryan breathed, the word barely audible. He took another step forward, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "You took her virginity... and you told her you pitied her?"

"Ryan, it wasn't like that—" Alfie started.

"Wasn't it?" Ryan roared, the volume of his voice making you flinch. He lunged forward and shoved Alfie hard, sending him stumbling back into the wall. "You don't get to be like that! You don't get to hurt my sister because you're a fucking dick!"

"It wasn't like that!" Alfie shouted back, his own anger rising to meet Ryan's. "I cared! That's why I ended it! Because I was scared! I wasn't good enough for her!"

"You're fucking right you aren't!" Ryan shoved him again. "You don't get to break my sister because you're a fucking pussy! You don't get to destroy her relationships and then stand here looking for a medal for 'ending it' for me!"

"Fuck you, Ryan!" Alfie lunged forward, shoving Ryan back. "You don't know anything! You weren't there! You don't know what it was like!"

That was it. The last thread of Ryan's control snapped. With a roar, he swung, his fist connecting with Alfie's jaw with a sickening crack. Alfie's head snapped to the side, but he recovered instantly, his own fist flying, catching Ryan on the cheekbone.

You screamed as they grappled, a messy, furious tangle of limbs on your living room floor. They weren't fighting with any skill, just raw, brutal emotion, landing clumsy, painful hits as they rolled over the rug, knocking over a lamp and sending a picture frame crashing to the ground.

"Stop it! Stop it!" you cried, grabbing at their shirts, trying to pull them apart, but you were useless against the force of their rage.

Finally, Alfie managed to shove Ryan off him. They both lay there for a moment, panting and bleeding, the fight draining out of them, replaced by a heavy, shamed silence. Ryan slowly pushed himself up, wiping a trickle of blood from his split lip with the back of his hand. He looked at Alfie, then at you, his face a mask of disgust and disappointment.

Without another word, he turned and stormed out, slamming the door so hard the pictures on the wall rattled. A moment later, you heard his car engine drive away down the street.

The silence that followed was deafening. You stood frozen in the middle of the room, your heart hammering, looking at the wreckage. Alfie slowly sat up, wincing as he touched his jaw, which was already beginning to swell and darken with a bruise. A cut above his eyebrow was bleeding freely.

Humiliation washed over you, hot and suffocating. This was your fault. All of it. "I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice cracking as you stared at the mess. "I'm so sorry I... I told him."

He looked up at you. He shook his head slightly, a wince crossing his features. "No. Don't be. He needed to know."

Without another word, you turned and went to the bathroom, your movements stiff and robotic. You returned with the large white first-aid box from under the sink and knelt on the floor in front of him, the silence stretching between you, thick with unspoken history. You worked in silence, your hands trembling as you pulled out antiseptic wipes and gauze. The scent of antiseptic filled the air.

You gently dabbed at the cut on his brow, your fingers barely brushing his skin. He flinched but didn't pull away, his eyes fixed on your face, watching every flicker of emotion that crossed your features. You could feel his gaze. You cleaned the blood from his split lip, your touch clinical and detached, trying to pretend this was just a person, just a wound, and not the boy who had broken you into a million pieces.

When you were done, you started to pack up the kit, but he caught your wrist. His grip was firm but not painful, a silent plea.

"Wait," he said, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Please."

You stopped, your eyes fixed on the floor, unable to meet his gaze. You could feel the tears welling up again, hot and stinging.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and the words were so raw, so heavy with a sincerity you hadn't heard from him in years, that they made your breath catch in your throat. "I am so, so sorry. For everything." He took a shaky breath. "For being a dick. For treating you like... like you were disposable. Like you were some stupid kid. I knew you weren't. I always knew. That's what scared me."

You risked a glance at his face. His eyes were swimming in unshed tears, the vulnerability in them so stark it was breathtaking.

"I've been in love with you for 6 months," he confessed, the words tearing out of him like a prayer. "I was just too stupid and too scared to admit it. I saw you, and I saw my future, and it terrified me. So I pushed you away. I told myself it was for you, that you deserved better, but it was for me. And every day since has been hell. Seeing you with Tom... it killed me, but I knew I had no right to feel anything. I broke you."

A tear escaped and traced a path down your cheek. He gently reached up and wiped it away with his thumb, his touch feather-light.

"I love you," he said, his voice cracking. "I am completely, head-over-heels, stupidly in love with you. And I know I have no right to say it. I know I've probably ruined any chance I ever had. But I had to tell you. You deserve to know."

You finally pulled your hand away, not in anger, but in a desperate need for space. "Don't," you whispered, shaking your head. "You don't get to say that. Not now."

"I know," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I know I don't. But I have to explain. I need you to understand why I was so horrible. That night... after we... it wasn't that I didn't feel anything. It's that I felt everything. All at once. And it was too much. I looked at you, and I saw how much you trusted me, how much you were giving me, and I panicked. I saw what it could be, and all I could think was that I would ruin it. I would ruin you."

He ran a hand through his hair, his movements agitated. "So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I hurt you before I could inevitably hurt you worse.  'I pitied you.' 'It was just sex.' I said them because I knew they were the only things that would make you hate me. I thought if you hated me, you could move on. You could be happy. I never... I never imagined it would break you like this. I was so arrogant. I thought I was saving you, but all I was doing was saving myself."

You looked at him, really looked at him. The swelling on his jaw, the cut on his eyebrow, the raw, open pain in his eyes. 

"Why?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper. "Why now? Why tell me all this now?"

"Because I saw you with Tom," he said, his voice cracking. "And I saw that you could be happy. And I thought I could live with that. But then at the party, when I saw you cry, I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to tell you the truth, even if it meant you hated me forever. I couldn't let you go on thinking that you were any of that fucked shit I said."

He reached out again, but this time he didn't touch you. He just let his hand hover in the space between you.

"I know I don't deserve forgiveness," he said, his voice barely audible. "And I'm not asking for it. I just... I needed you to know. I needed you to know that it was never you. It was always me. You were perfect. You are perfect. And I'm so, so sorry I ever made you feel like you weren't."

You could feel the anger and the hurt starting to recede, replaced by an aching sadness. For him, for you, for what you had lost.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," you said, your voice shaking. "I don't know if I can ever forget what you said to me."

"I know," he said, his eyes filled with a deep sorrow. "I wouldn't expect you to. But I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Even if it's just as a friend. Even if it's just from a distance. I just want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me."

You looked at him, at the boy you had loved for so long. And in that moment, you knew that things would never be the same. But maybe, just maybe, they could be okay.

Three days later, the house was still suffocatingly quiet. Ryan hadn't come home. He'd sent a few texts asking if you were okay, but he was staying at his girlfriend Felicity’s, and the unspoken message was clear, he couldn't be under the same roof as the memory of what had happened. You were living in a state of exhaustion, the fight replaying in your mind on a loop, Alfie's confession a confusing, painful echo.

You were in the kitchen, making a cup of tea, when you heard the key turn in the front lock. Your heart leaped into your throat. You crept silently to the doorway, peering into the hallway. It was Ryan. He looked tired, his cheekbone still a purple and yellow. But he wasn't alone. Alfie was behind him, looking just as bruised, his movements hesitant.

Panic came upon you. You didn't want to face them, not together, not yet. You ducked back into the kitchen, pressing yourself flat against the wall next to the fridge, holding your breath and praying they would just go into the living room.

Their footsteps were heavy in the silence. They didn't go to the living room. They stopped right in the hallway, just feet from where you were hiding.

"You didn't have to let me in, Ryan," Alfie's voice was low, rough.

"No," Ryan replied, his voice flat, devoid of its usual warmth. "But Felicity said if I didn't talk to you, she was going to lock us in a room together until one of us was dead. Seemed easier to just get it over with."

A tense silence stretched.

"Look," Alfie started, his voice strained. "About what I said... that I stopped it for you—"

"Don't," Ryan cut him off, his voice dangerously soft. "Don't you dare try to make yourself the hero in this. You didn't stop anything for me. You stopped it because you're a selfish prick."

"You're right," Alfie said, the admission quiet, immediate. It was so unlike him to not fight back a point that it made you hold your breath even tighter. "I was selfish. And I was a prick. There's no excuse for what I did to her."

"There isn't," Ryan's voice rose slightly, the anger simmering just beneath the surface. "Do you have any idea what she was like after you... after you told her that shit? She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't talk to me. She'd just lie in her room and stare at the ceiling. And you did that."

"I know," Alfie's voice spoke, filled with pain "I think about it every single day. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face. That's not an exaggeration. I haven't slept properly in months. I see the way I made her feel, and it... it guts me."

"So what, you want a medal?" Ryan scoffed. "You feel bad, so everything's okay?"

"Of course not!" Alfie's voice cracked with frustration. "There's nothing okay about this! I'm not here to ask for your forgiveness, Ryan. I know I don't deserve it. I'm not even here to ask for hers. I just... I needed you to know. I needed you to know that it wasn't just sex to me. That I didn't just use her and laugh about it later."

"Then what was it?" Ryan challenged, his voice a low growl. "Because from where I was standing, it looked a hell of a lot like my best friend took my little sister's virginity and then threw her away."

"It was the worst and best night of my life," Alfie confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "And that's the fucked up truth of it. For a few hours, I had everything I've ever wanted. She was... she was looking at me like… fuck. And all I could think was, 'I don't deserve this. I'm going to ruin this perfect thing.' So I did. I ruined it before it could get ruined on its own. I convinced myself that if I was the one to break it, it would hurt less. It was the most arrogant, stupid, selfish thing a person could ever do. And I've regretted it every second since."

You could hear the ragged edge in Alfie's breathing, and you pressed a hand over your own mouth to stifle a gasp.

"I love her," Alfie said, the words clear and unwavering in the quiet hall. "I have loved her for months."

Ryan was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer.

"That doesn't fix it, AB. It doesn't fix the fact that you broke her. It doesn't fix the fact that you broke up her and Tom. It doesn't fix the fact that I had to listen to my sister detail how you made her feel like that"

"I know," Alfie's voice was hollow. "I know it doesn't fix anything. But it's the truth. And she deserves the truth. You deserve the truth. I'm not asking you to like me again. I'm not asking you to be my best friend. I'm just... I'm telling you that I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make it right. Even if she never speaks to me again. Even if you never speak to me again. I have to try."

Another long silence. You could feel your legs starting to cramp, but you didn't dare move.

"You know," Ryan said slowly, his voice heavy with a weary resignation. "For years, I've been worried about you. About the way you go through girls, about the way you never let anyone get close. I always thought it was because you were an asshole."

"I am," Alfie agreed quietly. "I don’t wanna be like that with her."

"Yeah," Ryan sighed, the sound heavy with defeat. "Okay." There was a finality in his tone, but not the murderous rage from before. It was the sound of a man who was exhausted, who had seen too much. "Look, I can't... I can't be around you right now. Not like this. It's too weird. And I need to be there for her. Whatever she decides to do, whatever she needs, I have to be her brother first."

"I understand," Alfie said, and there was no argument in his voice, only acceptance.

"But," Ryan continued, and you leaned in closer, straining to hear. "I'm not going to kill you. And I'm not going to tell you to stay away from her forever. That's her call. She's an adult I suppose now, legal to order a drink I guess. A fucked up adult because of you, but an adult nonetheless. If she decides she wants to see you, or talk to you... that's on her. But if you hurt her again, Alfie... so help me God. I don't care how long we've been friends. I will end you."

"I wouldn't blame you," Alfie whispered.

You heard the jingle of keys, and then the sound of the front door opening and closing softly. Alfie was gone. You remained pressed against the wall, your heart pounding, your mind reeling. You slowly slid down the wall until you were sitting on the cool kitchen floor, pulling your knees to your chest. The fight wasn't over, not really. But the war had changed. And for the first time, you felt a tiny, fragile flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't end in complete destruction.

You were still sitting on the kitchen floor when you heard the soft click of the front door opening again a few minutes later. Your heart hammered against your ribs It couldn't be Ryan, he wouldn't be back so soon. It had to be Alfie. He'd forgotten something. Or he couldn't stay away. You scrambled to your feet, your movements clumsy, and backed further into the kitchen, putting the large island counter between you and the doorway.

He appeared in the archway, looking smaller than he ever had. The swelling on his jaw was more pronounced, a deep, purple. He looked exhausted, utterly defeated, his shoulders slumped. His eyes found yours immediately, and he froze.

"Sorry," he said, his voice hoarse, holding up a hand as if to show he was no threat. "I just… I left my keys on the table by the door. I saw them when I was leaving." He gestured vaguely behind him, not moving. "I'll grab them and go. I promise."

He turned, picked up the keys from the small console table, and then paused, his back to you. You could see the tension in the set of his shoulders. He didn't leave. He stood there for a long moment, the silence stretching, thick with everything that had been said and everything that hadn't.

"Ryan's right," Alfie said, his voice low, directed at the doorframe. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I know I don't deserve it. And I'm not here to put more pressure on you."

He turned back to face you, his expression so open, so raw it made your chest ache. "But I heard what he said. That it's your call. And I had to know… I had to know if there's even a fraction of a chance. Not for right now. I know you need time. I know you need to heal, and I know I'm the last person on earth who should be anywhere near you while you do that. But… eventually? Is there any world, any timeline, where you could ever look at me again and be okay"

You wrapped your arms around yourself, a protective gesture. "I don't know, Alfie," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I really don't know."

"Okay," he nodded, accepting your answer with a grace that was so unlike the boy you'd fought with days ago. "Okay. I can live with that. I just… I need you to know that I'm going to be here. Not in your way. Not bothering you. But I'm going to be around."

He took a hesitant step forward, then stopped, as if remembering his place. "I love you," he said, and this time the words weren't a desperate confession, but a quiet, steady fact. "I'm in love with you. And I want to be with you. I want to take you on dates. I want to meet your parents as your boyfriend, not Ryan's friend. I want to hold your hand in the car and argue about what movie to watch. I want all of it."

Your resolve was crumbling. You could feel the walls you'd built around your heart, the walls he had forced you to build, starting to crack under the weight of his sincerity. The boy who had told you he pitied you was gone, and in his place was this man, this bruised, humble, heartbreakingly honest man who was laying his soul at your feet.

"But I can wait," he added quickly, seeing the conflict on your face. "However long you need."

Something inside you, the part that had loved him through years of unrequited crush, the part that had felt a devastating connection with him even as he was breaking your heart, that part finally won. It was a stupid, reckless, possibly self-destructive decision, but you were tired of being sensible. You were tired of being broken.

"Don't," you whispered, shaking your head. "Don't wait."

His face fell, the hope in his eyes dimming. "Right. Of course. I understand. I'll—"

"No," you cut him off, your voice a little stronger. You took a step out from behind the island. "Don't wait forever. Just… don't wait forever."

He stared at you, his breath held, trying to decipher your meaning. "What are you saying?"

You took another step, closing the distance between you until you were standing just a foot apart. You could see the flecks of gold in his green eyes, the tiny cut on his cheekbone. "I'm saying," you whispered, your heart pounding so loud you were sure he could hear it, "that maybe you don't have to wait at all."

And then you closed the final inch, rising onto your toes and pressing your lips to his. It was hesitant at first, a question. His lips were soft, still a little swollen from the fight. He froze, completely still, as if afraid this was a dream and any movement would shatter it. You were about to pull back, mortified, when his hands came up to cup your face, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks. He deepened the kiss, and it wasn't like the desperate, clumsy fumbling from before. This was slow, deliberate, full of a year's worth of regret and a lifetime of unspoken promise. It tasted of salt from your tears and the faint coppery tang of blood from his cut lip, and it was the most real thing you had ever felt.

When you finally parted, you were both breathing heavily. He rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "We don't have to rush this. We can go slow. So slow."

"I'm sure," you lied, because you weren't sure of anything at all, except that you wanted this. You wanted him. You were terrified, your heart was a fragile, wounded thing in your chest, but for the first time in a long time, you felt something other than grief. You felt hope. "But slow," you added. "We go slow."

A slow, tentative smile spread across his bruised face, lighting up his eyes. "Slow," he agreed, his voice full of reverence. "I can do slow. I'll do anything you want."

He kissed you again, a soft, gentle press of lips that was a promise.

[eveninggstar]

btw guys the alfie fic im writing is actually taking SOOO LONG UGH but i wnat it to be really good, and in a couple of days i actually need to lock in with my exams😀 BUT IT WILL BE PUBLISHED

[buttlesbunnie]

FORCED PROXIMITY #7 ── a.buttle ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

summary: the finale of inside isn’t as happy and exciting as you expected it to be, until it became everything you could’ve wished for and more

content: ex’s to lovers , swearing , arguments , angst w/ comfort (not by alfie) , lots of crying , alfie gets a lil mean , cringey cinematic ending because fanfic is supposed to be cringe xx

notes: the finale chapter of forced proximity guys!!! thank you so much for staying with me throughout this whole thing, it’s been lovely seeing how excited you’ve all been for this. can you believe that, in total, i wrote 35k words for this entire series? how mental is that!!! orange is chloe , green is alhan , purple is indiyah

“WHAT?”

It was silent for a hot moment as those who weren’t present now gathered nearby at the dining table. You could see out of the corner of your eye people’s head constantly flitting between you and Alfie.

“You’re a liar, bro.” He scoffed, slumping down on the couch between Alhan and Marlon.

You were speechless, lips parted as you stared at him.

“What did she lie about?” Indiyah asked.

“Okay, better question, what was your temptation?” Marlon asked instead.

“Got into the room with a TV, card said ‘find out what Reader lied about for £30,000’ obviously I took it.” Alfie explained in a half-arsed manner, “So what’s all this about using me then? Getting me on your side to benefit the girls?”

“How is that lying?” Indiyah scoffed.

“I’m not talking to you.”

“Alfie, don’t be disrespectful.” You frowned, shaking your head.

“Me?! Me don’t be disrespectful?! Day two you pulled me to the bedrooms and spoke to me about how you feel like I’m the only one you can trust in here, opening up about you and Ben flirting, but fucking five minutes before that, you were agreeing with the girls to use me for your own benefit!”

“I didn’t lie in that conversation, I was telling the truth.” You said.

“Were you? ‘Coz the way it looks to me is like you don’t actually give a fuck about me, you’re using me so you can get to the final, and all that shit about we’re gonna try for real when we get out is just bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, I meant all of that!”

“I think we should leave, let them talk.” Chloe said, ushering everyone out.

“Alfie, I didn’t lie to you.” Your voice broke.

“Bro!” He laughed humourlessly, “I’ve just seen it with my own eyes! ‘Use it as revenge for the break up’ ‘He still wants you. Use it to your advantage to keep the girls in’. All of that fucking game-playing shit for you to then come and say to me that you still love me, you wanna try again, and you’ll think about moving back in with me?! Fuck that!”

“I doubted the girls every single time!” You shouted, hoping that if your voice was louder, it would drown out the emotion threatening to climb its way out of your mouth, “Did they not show you that?! Every time they told me to, I said I felt bad and I didn’t want to do it!”

“No, they didn’t show me that! And it doesn’t really matter because you did it anyway! You can say ‘Oh, I don’t want to do him dirty’ but you fuckin’ did!” Alfie snapped, hands moving animatedly, “I can’t believe you man. Fucking liar.”

“I’m sorry? Okay. I am. I’m sorry for not being honest, but whenever we were talking, using you was not at the forefront of my mind. I enjoyed our conversations, I really did. I didn’t get closer with you with the intent of fucking you over. I didn’t.”

“Bullshit, Reader.” He shook his head.

A heavy silence settled over you, you were sitting there with your thumb in your mouth, gnawing the skin around it while quiet tears trickled down your cheeks, and he was staring at you hard.

Not even glaring.

Just watching.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was using you, because I wasn’t.” You whispered.

“But you were.” He shrugged.

“No, Alfie, I wasn’t.” You shook your head adamantly, “You think I would’ve cried the way I did when you got voted out if it was all an act? If I didn’t give a shit?”

“You cry at everything, so that really doesn’t mean much to me.”

It hit you right in the heart.

He was the one person who had never ever villainised you or judged you for your sensitivity and the ease at which you experience intense emotion, so for him to throw it back in your face like this sent your heart shattering into a billion (potentially unfixable) pieces.

“That’s mean.” You croaked with a sniffle.

“My fucking apologies for hurting your feelings Reader. It’s not like you’ve been stringing me along in here.”

You snapped at him for that, “Stop making it sound like I don’t give a shit about you! I do!”

“Do you?! Do you really?! I think if you gave a shit about me you wouldn’t have lied to my face by acting like I wasn’t some grand scheme in your little plan with the girls!”

“You’re not! Look at how many fucking girls are left! There’s three of us! Even if I was using you, which I wasn’t, there would be no point in it anymore and I’d drop the act!”

“Shut up with your lame fucking excuses, man.” Alfie scoffed.

“Don’t talk to me like that. Don’t tell me to shut up.”

“Don’t talk to me for the rest of our time in here. How does that sound?”

You sunk back into the sofa, defeated.

Alfie was adamant that you didn’t actually have feelings for him.

There was no changing his mind when he was in this headspace, you knew that better than anyone.

“Guess you did get your petty fucking revenge from our breakup.” He muttered, “I’ll keep my hands to myself next time.”

“Don’t say that.” Your eyebrows furrowed, bottom lip trembling with the force of your suppressed sobs, “That’s a horrible thing to say.”

“Shame, innit?” He shrugged, standing up, “Sleep by yourself tonight.”

When he’d disappeared from view, your put your hands to your face and let out all the forceful sobs that were compressed in your chest.

You’d thought you’d cried enough last night around the wellbeing team, but obviously not.

You could vaguely hear Indiyah trying to talk some sense into Alfie over the walls, but it was all drowned out by your own distressed sounds.

“Reader? Y’okay?” Chloe asked as you felt the cushioning dip beside you.

You let out another harsh sob, shaking your head as you kept your face hidden.

“Oh, I know, I know.” She sighed, bringing you into her arms.

“I do love Reader, she is like a little sister to me, so to see her crying like this … it’s not nice.”

“Bro, you weren’t even there!” Alfie argued with Indiyah.

“Yes I was! I was literally in those conversations with her. She never wanted to do what we were planning, and she always felt really awful about it, so don’t make her feel like a bitch!” Indiyah argued back, “She wasn’t using you. Point blank period.”

“Well, you didn’t see what I saw.”

“Yeah, ‘coz I was in those conversations instead! My days, AB!” She huffed, throwing her head back, “Y’know what, you’re clearly in one of those moods where you don’t wanna hear anyone who isn’t validating your feelings, so whatever. But just think about it. Also, did you ever think that these guys,” She gestured to the cameras, “Just want content? They can stitch things up so easily so it looks a certain way.”

She left him and the boys with those thoughts before walking off back to the living room.

“She’s kinda right, though.” Marlon clicked his tongue, “They could’ve just used clips to make it look worse than it was.”

“I mean, AB, you know Reader better than anyone, so …” Ben shrugged, “Do you really think she would actually do that to you?”

“I haven’t seen her in a year, so do I really even know her?”

“People can change a lot in a year.” Alhan hummed, “But, I don’t know. And, I’m the first person to jump to your defence, AB, but … it doesn’t seem like her to do this.”

“Well, we also didn’t think Chian was being all sneaky.” Alfie countered.

“Reader, do not cry over him, do you hear me?” Indiyah pulled your hands away from your face.

She was always a tough love type of girl, it was one of the reasons you got along so well. Sometimes when you were in those moods where everything was getting you down, you needed a snappy wake up call.

“He doesn’t believe me.” You sobbed.

“Because that’s the mindset he’s got right now— Reader, breathe.” She wiped your tears for you, “It’s a gameshow, honey. It’s fine.”

“It’s so much more than that!” You hiccuped, “This,” You gestured between yourself and the walls Alfie was behind, “Is more than just a gameshow.”

“You’re right, it is.” Chloe nodded, rubbing your back.

“I look so fucking stupid. All I’ve done is cry in here.” You huffed, sniffling sharply.

“Because that’s the type of person you are, and that is fine.” Indiyah said firmly, “You are who you are. That doesn’t make you look stupid.”

The last thing you were expecting was for some of the boys to walk in, but Marlon came forwards, hiding something behind his back and Ben was beside him, also hiding something behind his back.

When they revealed their hands, the former had a Dr. Pepper and the latter had a large Kit-Kat.

You couldn’t help but giggle tearily at the gifts, taking them with thanks.

Marlon sat himself beside you while Ben sat on the floor beside Indiyah in front of you.

You felt arms wrap around you from the side, and you leaned into Marlon’s hold as he rested his chin on top of your head and rubbed your arms.

“We’re talking to him.” He muttered.

“He’s just really angry right now.” Ben smiled supportively, patting your knee.

“Yeah, I think it’s just a heat of the moment thing.”

“He wasn’t even listening to me.” You croaked, “I was trying to explain what happened and he wasn’t having any of it.”

“Give it a day. Sleep on it. Maybe tomorrow will be a better time to talk to him.”

“I wanna go to sleep now.” You sniffed, sitting up straight and wiping your nose.

“Okay, let’s go get ready for bed, us girlies.” Chloe smiled at you as the three of you stood.

Alfie and Alhan were standing in the bedrooms by their beds when you walked in. You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Alfie as you walked by. It was sheepish and shy, an action that allowed you to catch the sight of him staring back far you.

“Reader, are you okay?” Alhan asked.

“Oh, Alhan, don’t.” Chloe scolded.

“I’m asking if she’s okay!”

“Obviously not. Just leave her.”

“Okay, sorry.”

You and the girls sat around the makeup table, removing the days-worth of makeup caked on your face. Half of it on your cheeks had disappeared due to your tears, so it didn’t take too long for you to be fresh-faced and ready for bed.

You got dressed in to your pyjamas, but kept a hoodie on while you were still wandering about the house not under the covers.

“Reader?” Ben’s voice called out to you.

“Yeah?” You turned to look at him.

He beckoned you over, guiding you out of the room.

Alfie glared at the sight of your backs as you both walked away.

“Something in the shop I want you to see.”

In the shop, there was a brand new item on the menu, taking it’s place at the top of the price list at £75,000.

‘Time with Buttons’

“No.” You gasped, hands flying to your mouth.

“Me and Alhan were just debating on whether or not we do it.”

“No, I feel like they’re playing. What if it’s just like a clock with loads of buttons. Y’know, like, time with buttons. Literally.” You thought aloud, toying with your bottom lip.

“You think?”

“It feels like a Sidemen thing to do, no?” You looked at him.

“What’s calling to me is that the B in buttons is capitalised. Like, it’s a name.” Ben pointed out, making you hum.

Alhan poked his head in then, “Did you buy it yet?”

“No, I was just showing her.”

“Are you okay?” Alhan asked, closing the door behind him, “I’m sorry if it came off like I was asking to poke fun at you earlier. I was genuinely asking.”

You shrugged, “It is what it is, right?

“Hm, anyway,” Alhan walked up to the camera, “Can we confirm some time with Buttons please?”

“Alhan!” You exclaimed, hands flying to your face in shock.

“And now we wait.”

Five minutes later, a little bowl came up.

A bowl of buttons.

“I told you!” You exclaimed.

Alhan picked up the bowl and emptied the buttons in a stroppy manner.

A piece of paper came fluttering out.

You crouched down and picked it up to read the words, “‘Processing Room’.”

You were immediately off, brushing past everyone as you hummed with each step.

Obviously, everyone was intrigued, following you as well.

“What’s going on?” Chloe asked.

“We got Reader a present.” Alhan shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh my God!” You screamed, dropping to your knees in front of the pet carrier and unzipping it with enthusiasm.

You reached into it, pulling Buttons out.

“My baby!” You cried, hugging him tightly.

He meowed loudly down your ear, making everyone chuckle softly. His nose buried in your hair, sniffing you for your familiar scent.

“Hi, baby.” You cooed, scratching his head.

Indiyah also crouched down, unable to resist herself around cats and began petting his back.

“He’s so precious.” She muttered, before noticing something, “Oh, there’s a note.”

She picked it up and unfolded it before reading it out, “‘30 minutes, P.S. we’re sorry. From, The Sidemen’.”

“They’re sorry?” Marlon’s eyes widened.

“For stitching Reader up, maybe?” Indiyah hummed.

“I can’t be arsed with this, bro.” Alfie muttered, walking off on his own.

“Oh, ignore him.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes, “You’ve got half an hour with your cat, don’t let him ruin it.”

You were devastated to admit that those 30 minutes flew by faster than ever before, and you were heavily reluctant to put him back into the pet carrier when the timer went off.

“If we buy it again do we get another 30?” You whined, kissing Buttons on the head repeatedly.

“Should I go check the shop?” Ben asked, and you nodded.

Two minutes went by, and the timer in front of you reset to 30 minutes.

“Did you buy her another 30 minutes?” Marlon asked as Ben walked out of the shop.

He nodded.

“Bro, that’s so much money today.” Alfie scoffed. “My temptation, the slime challenge, this Buttons shit.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have took your temptation, then.” Chloe shrugged.

“What?”

“If you hadn’t took it, we would be up by £180,000, no?”

“Yeah, 30k temptation, two sets of 75k on the cat.” Marlon counted on his fingers. “Shit, that is a lot.”

“How are you blaming me for us having no money today?”

“I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying. Contributing factor.” Chloe said. “Considering your temptation was a load of nonsense as well.”

“It fucking wasn’t, and I’m sick of everyone saying it—“

Ben piped up then, “I think, y’know, based on the apology note from the Sidemen … they might’ve fabricated a bit of it.”

“I think we just need everyone to cool off. No one’s in the right headspace to speak on this right now. Let’s all just leave it.” Alhan turned to Alfie, “You and Reader just keep your distance from each other for tonight.”

“Alhan being the sensible one. Shock.” Chloe laughed.

“This house has become a fucking nightmare. Reader’s emotionally exhausted, Alfie’s fuming, everyone is walking on eggshells. I don’t like it when I’m not in control.”

“This is gonna be, like, the big split between the boys and girls. Reader and Alfie were like the glue so … It’s definitely gonna become more heavily boys vs girls.”

Saying goodbye to Buttons stung like a bitch, but you were in agreement with the other Insiders that spending more money would be awful for the team and drain the prize fund even more so. So, you lead him (with difficulty and the help of Indiyah) into the pet carrier and zipped it up, saying goodbye and leaving the Processing Room.

You were fully convinced you were all about to head to bed, before the evil, maniacal laughter of KSI echoed off the walls, gathering you all in the living room as he demanded silence.

“You will all given a card. Write down who you wanna eliminate.”

Everyone’s jaws dropped at the spontaneous elimination.

KSI wasted no time in handing out the cards and a pen each.

Your brain was working at fifty miles per hour, trying to come to terms with the fact that someone was going to be eliminated right this moment.

You gnawed your lip as you fiddled with the pen, eyes jumping over everyone in the room.

A … L …

You saw Alfie writing away firmly, well set on his chosen person.

You were almost one hundred percent sure that he had picked you.

It made sense.

He thought you were using him, stringing him along.

You couldn’t decide whether or not you were going to stoop to his level and vote him back to make things even, or even just for the pettiness of getting at him for making you cry so heavily, or if you were going to pick someone else so you could prove to him that you were never using him in the first place.

After a little mental tennis match in your brain, you came to a decision.

“Face to face eliminations suck. They really suck. Writing someone’s name down when they’re sat across the room from you isn’t very nice at all.”

KSI instructed everyone to read out their chosen person for elimination and the reason why.

Ben, going first, picked Indiyah, explaining that they were the least close throughout this whole experience and that it wasn’t anything personal.

Indiyah, in return, picked Ben, her reasoning being the exact same.

Another vote went to Ben as Chloe turned her card around.

It appeared that everyone’s excuses were ‘We’re just not that close’ which was fair enough, because at this stage of the show, no one was being nit-picky about who they wanted to leave.

You were surprised and confused when KSI skipped you entirely and went to Alhan.

A second vote went down for Indiyah by Alhan.

Marlon flipped his card to reveal that he had voted for Chloe.

You gnawed on your lower lip as it went to Alfie to reveal who his vote went for.

As he turned the card, you saw his scratchy handwriting in the form of ‘Indiyah’.

“Reader, we go back to you.” KSI hummed, “Audience retention.”

You snorted, shaking your head and turning your card.

“It doesn’t really matter, but, I voted for Alhan because … he’s one of the strongest here and he’s been spending a lot of money. Obviously, not talking about the Buttons thing because that was really nice of you, but … yeah, a lot of money.”

“That’s okay.” He nodded.

“And with that, Indiyah, you have been eliminated from Inside.” KSI announced.

Your heart dropped out of your ass.

You were so focused on whether or not Alfie had voted for you and if your vote made sense, that you hadn’t even computed the fact that your best friend in here was leaving.

You were the first to hug her goodbye, holding onto her for longer than everyone else did.

“No more tears, you.” Indiyah grinned, poking your side.

“In your honour, I’ll cry no more.” You chuckled.

In seeing her out, she pointed a threatening finger at Alfie.

“Think.”

“Alright, God.” He grumbled.

“I’m so gutted that Indiyah is leaving! Ugh. Literally only two girls left. I can't believe this.”

In celebration of being the final six of Inside season three, a large banquet was ordered, that you’d actually went on a strike for. The producers had originally listed it at a ridiculous price, so you all stripped off your mic-packs, dumped them in a corner and left them without content for two hours.

That changed their mind.

The banquet was delicious, and you loaded your plate full and heavy.

“Reader’s acting like she’s on death row, what the fuck!” Alhan laughed while filling up everyone’s cups.

You all cheered, clinking your glasses.

Yours and Alfies didn’t even touch.

You tried not to let it weigh on your mind as you dived in, devouring six hot wings and two servings of butter chicken with a glorious garlic naan.

You and Ben cheersed with spring rolls before chomping them down too.

You were exhausted by the time the meal came to an end.

You’d had an emotionally taxing day, and getting stuffed on food had only drained you even more.

After brushing your teeth and getting into bed, you murmured a ‘food coma time’ before shutting your eyes and pulling the duvet up to your chin.

Sleeping alone felt weird all over again.

After bedding with Alfie for the past two nights, you were feeling awfully lonely.

You didn’t let it affect you, hanging onto Indiyah’s words of ‘no more tears’ and letting yourself fall asleep.

In the morning, spirits were high.

The fact that you were even in the finale at all was something to be celebrated.

All the boys had dragged the mattresses from the beds and into the living room in front of the sofa, creating a fake WWE ring.

“Reader, come be our sexy ring girl!” Alhan shouted out for you.

You appeared in the doorway, wet hair up in a towel and toothbrush in your mouth.

“Is this giving sexy to you?”

“Yes, come on.”

You rushed back to the bathroom, spat out your toothpaste and towel-dried your hair until your arms burned and the tips weren’t dripping, and made your way back to the living room, pretending to be a ring girl.

“Round one, fight!”

Alhan jumped on Ben’s back, causing him to be spun around for a while before they both collapsed into the floor.

“Errr! Alhan your arse crack’s out!” You cringed at the sight, “You boys are disgusting.”

Marlon came in then, and you put your hands out.

“Don’t even— Marlon!” You screamed as he threw you over his shoulder.

“What’s that? Us boys are disgusting?”

“No!” You got out through harsh giggles, “I’m joking! I take it back!”

You screamed when you were dropped down onto the plush surfaces.

Alhan joined in, pretending to elbow slam you, but landed next to you instead.

“Are youse ganging up on her?!” Chloe exclaimed, “Nah, I’m not having this.”

She went to the dining table full of old food and grabbed the squirty cream, chasing Marlon around the entire house as you lay there, belly laughing.

Alfie had joined the room, sitting on the chairs at the table and chuckling.

When Marlon came back in, his entire face was dripping with squirty cream, making everyone point and laugh at the display.

Eventually, you all cleaned up, sat around the sofa and descended into more mindless chatter.

When the prize fund was already at the bottom of the barrel and there was nothing else to do, talk seemed to be the only option.

But the day seemed to drag on to an endless amount of hours when you and Alfie weren’t in a place to bask in each others arms and talk amongst yourselves in the privacy of your bed sheets.

You’d really fucked up.

You should’ve never let the girls’ game plan get you like this.

Or maybe you should’ve never rekindled things with Alfie.

You didn’t know.

Your brain was a scrambled mess of interconnecting and over crossing ropes of thoughts that desperately needed detangling.

“Reader, do you miss Buttons?” Ben asked.

“Oh my God, I wish I could’ve went with him last night, honestly.” You huffed, shaking your head.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak again, the TV chimed;

Insiders, please each pick one of the following colours.

“I wanna be pink!” You exclaimed.

“Okay, Reader’s pink.” Marlon counted on his fingers, “Chloe, purple. Alhan, blue. Ben, green. AB, orange. Me, yellow. Cool.”

And then, you were sent off to your last challenged.

You squealed out of anticipation and excitement, patting your feet on the floor repeatedly.

Just outside the Challenge Arena, you felt a tap on your back.

Upon turning around, you saw Alfie.

“Good luck.” He muttered.

You frowned in confusion before giving him a tight-lipped smile, “You too.”

In the Challenge Arena, there was a long black stage, lining it were podiums with nine rectangles lit up in each of the colours listed earlier. You made your way behind the pink stand, with Marlon beside you at yellow.

“Insiders,” Ethan announced, “Welcome to Dicey Decisions.”

Simon continued after him, “Today, these dice stand between you and a place in the final of Inside. By the end of this game, two of you will be going head-to-head to win the prize fund of £177,894.”

You wanted to laugh at how pathetic it sounded.

“However, four of you will be eliminated. Here’s how it works,” Ethan began to explain the rules of the game.

Essentially, you roll a 6-sided, 0-4 dice along the long black stage, if it lands out of the section or off the stage, you lose a life. If it lands in the section, you pick someone to lose lives equal to the amount you rolled. Land in the section labelled ‘double’ and someone loses double the amount you rolled. However, there was a chance to roll a shield, in which it protects you from being chosen to lose lives by other Insiders until the next rotation.

It really was a luck game.

And a test of physical accuracy.

But mostly luck.

You were thinking that you may be okay, but then you saw the rubbery edges along each side of the die when it was in your hands and groaned.

“Reader, you’re up first.”

Leave it to you to miss the first go.

You groaned as it rolled off the edge, hitting the floor.

“You’ve lost a life for yourself.”

Marlon was rolling next, getting a fortunate two. He decided to send it to Chloe, meaning she was down to seven lives.

By the end of Round One, there was already someone eliminated.

Chloe.

Unfortunately, Alhan rolled a good four, Alfie got a two, and then Chloe finished herself off.

You had a sad goodbye with her, where she wished you luck against the boys.

On your second time, her wish seemed to be on your side.

You gaped in shock as your dice roll landed on a four in the double area.

“Reader with the eight!” Ethan exclaimed, clapping, “Who are you choosing to remove eight lives from.”

“Alhan, sorry.” You pouted.

“It’s all good. Nevermind the guy that made you full body sob yesterday.” He jutted a thumb in Alfie’s direction.

You scoffed, throwing your hands up.

“Marlon, you’re next.” Simon said, swiftly wanting to move on and avoid an awkward atmosphere.

The lucky fucker ended up rolling a shield for himself, protecting him against everyone.

Round two ended, and you ended up saying goodbye to Alhan, as he knocked himself out by missing the section.

Honestly, if you were going to get out in this challenge, you wanted it to be by your own shitty dice rolls, not someone else targeting you like the boys had done with Chloe.

You prayed for good rolls every time, otherwise you were pretty sure you’d be next picked on.

The game descended into panicked chaos rather quickly when there were only for of you left, as people got erratic with their dice rolls, eliminating some of their own lives from the podium.

Ben, unfortunately, ended up eliminating himself by constantly missing dice rolls. You and Marlon seemed to be along the same wavelength somehow, because you were either missing, or getting shields. That meant Alfie’s decent rolls were pretty much useless.

He was on the most number of lives, standing at 6, whereas you had 4, and Marlon was at 3.

Thank God for your good hand.

The dice showed a 3.

“Reader! You rolled a three. You can either knock Alfie down to three lives, or eliminate Marlon.” Simon said, “What’s your pick?”

You frowned at Marlon, “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “It’s okay. You’re all good. Game’s the game.”

He gave you a hug as you made your way back behind your podium.

“Reader and AB, congratulations. You are our Inside finalists.”

You gave him another tight-lipped smile, unsure of where you stood in your ability to give or receive a hug.

“Congrats.” He nodded at you.

“You too.”

Ethan winced at the tension before production began moving the arena around for the final.

“I’m in the fucking Inside final, I can’t believe this! I’m so happy I made it to the final two, honestly. That revival thing I got was like a godsend, because without it I wouldn’t even be here. To be quite frank, I don’t really care if I win or not now. I made it to the final, which I never thought I’d do. That in itself is an accomplishment.”

In the last ever challenge of Inside season three, you and Alfie were stood on two podiums opposite each other.

In front of you, was a box. You had the ability to swap the words inside of the box from ‘Split’ or ‘Steal’ with a click of a button under the podium, meaning your actions were hidden from Alfie, and his were hidden from you.

“You two, I’m sure, know how this works. A nice, fair game of Split or Steal. If one of you picks split and the other chooses steal, they will take the entirety of the prize fund.” KSI explained to you, “If you both pick to split, the prize fund splits in half and you take your respective halves home. If you both steal, the prize fund goes into nothing and you both leave with your pockets empty. You have two minutes to make your decision.”

You nodded firmly, looking down at the box.

This was it.

This was your chance to win 177 grand against the love of your life, or let him take it all.

Your heart was firmly set in the knowledge that Alfie was going to steal, which left you with the ultimatum.

Steal as well, leaving you both with absolutely nothing, or give him the win and go home with your head held high.

You thought about the argument you’d had earlier, and how hurt Alfie was by the thought of you using him and not having genuine feelings. You should prove to him that he was wrong, that the Sidemen were being manipulative in their editing skills.

There was no way you were going to let that money go to waste.

You clicked the button under the table.

“Reader, you have decided. Alfie?”

“Locked in.” He nodded, rubbing his hands together.

“Alright, on the count of three, I want you to turn the desk of the podium and reveal what your box says …”

You swished your mouth from side to side, nose twitching from nerves.

“3 …”

Alfie’s eyes met yours.

“2 …”

You wished you could read his expression.

“1 …”

You gripped the surface, spinning it slowly.

Alfie’s box read ‘Steal’.

You saw his face drop drastically as his brain seemed to lag behind, unable to comprehend the word in front of him.

“That’s okay.” You hummed, “I knew it.”

Alfie rubbed his fingers over his moustache of stubble and scratchy hairs, “I’m so sorry.”

“AB, you are the winner of Inside season three!” KSI shouted, as gold confetti popped out and the Sidemen burst into a round of applause.

You grinned for him, giving him a round of applause before waving and seeing yourself off set.

“Can I change it?” Alfie asked the boys, watching you walk away with a whole lot of regret on his face, “Fuckkk …”

“Why aren’t you happy? You won!” Vik laughed confusedly.

“Yeah, but I— Fuckin’ell man.” Alfie stumbled over his own words, “Did you guys actually stitch her up?”

“We did nothing!” Tobi exclaimed, “That was him!” He pointed to KSI.

Alfie’s head turned from where you’d exited, and back to KSI, and then back to the exit again.

His legs moved without thinking.

“AB!” Ethan exclaimed.

“Fuck off, one second!” He yelled back, brushing past producers and filming crew to find you.

His hand latched around your wrist, spinning you back to face him.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of him, “Why aren’t you celebrating?”

“It’s not worth it without you there.” He said, panting heavily, his breath fanning across your face, “Reader, I am so fucking sorry about everything I said last night. I take it all back. All of it. I should’ve never said them anyway, regardless of how angry I was. I’m so, so sorry.”

You shook your head, “I should’ve been honest with you.”

“Fuck that.” His hands found your cheeks, “I don’t care about that. I don’t care about this stupid gameshow. I don’t care about the pathetic prize fund—“

You giggled at that.

He finished strong, “I care about you.”

You smiled tearily, “I care about you too.”

He didn’t waste a minute in craning down, connecting your lips firmly.

You hummed, hands coming up to hold onto either side of his neck and return the favour of a passionate kiss.

You both grinned into it before pulling away.

“Come celebrate with me.”

“Okay.” You breathed.

He made you hop on his back, and he ran you through back to the Challenge Arena, your loud laughs echoing off the walls.

“Oh, he’s back.” Josh exclaimed.

“I’m splitting the fund anyway.” Alfie shouted, “Fuck everyone.”

Ethan leaned onto Simon as he burst out into loud cackles.

Alfie bounced you around on his back, making you cling onto him tightly. You made him bend down just so you could pick up some confetti and throw it over the two of you.

You kissed his cheek as he began doing laps of the arena.

“Love you, girl.”

“I love you too, Alf.”

[buttlesbunnie]

MINNIE’S HUNGER GAMES AU ! ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

( content warnings : child death/exploitation , literary gore , swearing , parental death , poverty , oppression , alcoholism and anything else mentioned in the hunger games books/ movies )

( minnie speaks : new au drop !!! are we excitedddd? obviously all rights go to suzanne collins for the creation of the hunger games universe. i’m so giddy to get this started! i think this is gonna be my longest series yet, really hoping that i can keep it going and not lose my motivation like i did for my i’m a celeb fic. this is a multiple part series, where arthur’s games will come first, and then alfie’s, and then george’s, and there’ll all be interlinked with little easter eggs, however once it’s all finished they can be read individually xx )

SERIES 1 — 21st annual hunger games // starring, arthur frederick & yourself

SERIES 2 — 31st annual hunger games // starring, alfie buttle & yourself

SERIES 3 — 49th annual hunger games // starring, george clarke & yourself

[buttlesangel]

brothers bestfriend alfie pt 6

a/n: wooooo part 6 i finally locked in, enjoy this guys i actually put effort in 😔

@ghostwrittenbygrace @dilfslutsstuff @kislnd @lenneyswhore @cigarettesafterbooks @teleskinnd @obaltineobyss @luvbuttlestv @sdmnpact @lostdeerinthemist @ghostedindigo @luvdixonxx @headinthewalls @alice07ea @lovinqbella

The click of the front door was the loudest sound in the world. You stood in the middle of the living room, the echo of your lie hanging in the air, the silence Alfie and Ryan left behind pressing in on you. You had saved him. You had pulled him back from the edge of the cliff he'd thrown you off of, and he hadn't even said thank you. He hadn't even looked back. You had finally decided that you were done. Done with the crying, done with the hoping, done with all of it.

That's when you met Tom.

He wasn't a whirlwind romance or a dramatic rebound. He was slow, steady, and kind, like the first warm day after a long winter. He was in your history class, and he'd noticed the way you chewed on the end of your pen during class, lost in thought. He'd asked you about it after school, and you'd ended up talking for two hours on a walk about everything and nothing. 

With Tom, things were easy. There were no secrets, no complicated histories, no best friends to hide from. He held your hand in public, his fingers laced through yours without a second thought. He introduced you to his parents over a Sunday roast, his arm draped casually around your shoulders as he said, "Mum, Dad, this is my girlfriend." The word felt solid, real, something you could hold onto. He made love to you with a patience and reverence that made you feel cherished, not used. He was the opposite to Alfie, the cure for the poison that had been in your system for years.

Alfie watched it all from a distance. At first, he seemed relieved. It was the clean break he had so desperately wanted, the outcome he had engineered with his cruel words. But as weeks turned into months, and he saw you and Tom grow closer, something shifted. 

He'd see Tom kiss your forehead as you waited for the bus, a small, intimate gesture that felt more profound than any frantic kiss he'd ever stolen, and a muscle would jump in his jaw. He'd see you wearing Tom's hoodie, a soft grey thing that smelled of clean laundry and Tom's cologne, and his hands would clench into fists in his pockets. He had burned the bridge and then watched in silent agony as you built a beautiful new life on the other side, a life that had absolutely no room for him. He had completely and utterly fucked it, and the worst part was, he had no one to blame but himself.

He'd lie in bed at night and replay every moment. The day you'd come home crying about Max, the confession that had poured out of him, raw and unplanned. The look on your face when he'd taken it all back. He'd tortured himself with it. He'd see you laughing with Tom at partues, your head thrown back, and he'd feel a physical pain in his chest, a hollow ache. He knew he couldn't say anything. He had no right. He was the architect of his own misery, and you were just living your life, a life he had willingly thrown away.

You were trying. God, you were trying so hard. You'd be walking to the library, a stack of books in your arms, and you'd pass the workhouse building where Alfie worked. You remembered waiting for him once, sitting on the cold stone steps, feeling a thrill that was equal parts nerves and excitement just because he'd agreed to walk you home. The memory would hit you like a slap, and you'd have to stop, take a breath, and force yourself to think about Tom. Think about his steady smile, the way he brought you coffee in bed, the sound of his laugh. You were actively trying to get rid of the thoughts and memories of Alfie, the bathtub, the confession you almost had and yet it kept resurfacing at the most inconvenient times.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

One evening, you and Tom were in your room, the door closed for once. Ryan was out, your parents at a barbecue. The soft glow of your bedside lamp cast a warm light over the room. Tom was kissing you, his hands gentle on your hips, his touch worshipful. He was doing everything right. He was perfect. He was whispering how beautiful you were, how much he loved you, and your body was responding, your mind was there, but your heart… your heart was a traitor.

Whilst his hands cupped your breasts, caressing them, lightly touching your nipples like you were a glass doll he could break your mind circled back, it circled back to Alfie's large hands, his hair you ran your fingers through, the way his hands held your hips hard, setting a punishing rhythm.

But with Tom it wasn’t punishing, it was… boring. The pleasure built, a slow, sweet wave, and as you gasped his name, another name slipped out. A ghost from the past. A name you had tried so hard to bury.

"Alfie."

The room went cold. Tom stilled above you, his body tensing. He pulled back, his face a mask of confusion and hurt. "What did you just say?"

Panic seized you. "Nothing. I said Tom. I just… it was a breath."

"No," he said, his voice quiet, dangerously so. He rolled off you, putting space between you. "You said Alfie."

"Tom, please, it was nothing," you begged, reaching for him, but he flinched away.

"Nothing? You moaned my your brother's best friend's name while we were having sex, and you're telling me it's nothing?" His voice was rising now, laced with a pain that made you feel sick. "Is that who you're thinking about when you're with me? Is that why you're so quiet sometimes? Is that what you're thinking about when you're staring out the window?"

"No! Of course not! It was just a mistake, a stupid, horrible mistake. I'm so sorry." You were crying now, hot tears of shame and frustration.

He didn't speak for a long time, just stared at the ceiling, his jaw working. "I need to go," he said finally, getting dressed in stiff, angry movements.

You let him go, knowing you had no right to ask him to stay. The damage was done. He came back two days later, and you cried and apologized, and he said he loved you too much to let one mistake ruin everything. But a seed of doubt had been planted, a tiny, poisonous one that would grow between you.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

A month later, you were at a house party at Luke's. The music was loud, the air thick with the smell of cheap beer and perfume. You were standing in the kitchen, nursing a drink, feeling a bit like an imposter in the older crowd. Tom was deep in a conversation about football with some of his mates in the living room, and you'd escaped for a moment of peace. That's when Alfie walked in.

Your eyes met for a fraction of a second before you both looked away. The tension was still there, a live wire under the surface. He looked good, too good. He was wearing a black compression t-shirt that stretched across his shoulders, and his hair was a mess of soft curls. He looked like the Alfie you had fallen for, and it sent a jolt through you.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge, his movements stiff. He stood near you, an awkward silence stretching between you.

"Hey," he said, his voice rough.

"Hi," you replied, not looking at him, focusing instead on a crack in the plaster wall.

"Good party," he offered, clearly desperate for something to say.

"It's alright."

Another silence. He took a long swallow of his beer, his throat working. "So," he said, the word sounding like it was being pulled from him. "How's… Tom?"

The question was loaded with unspoken things. It was a test, a probe. He was asking if you were happy, if Tom was enough, if you had truly forgotten him. He was asking for confirmation of his own worst fears.

"He's good," you said, your voice deliberately light. "We're good."

"Right. Good." He nodded, his gaze fixed on the label of his beer bottle, peeling at the corner of it. "That's… good that you're good."

You risked a glance at him. His profile was tense, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He was jealous. The thought was so unexpected, so potent, that it almost made you gasp. He was jealous of the life he had forced you to build.

"Are you happy?" he asked, his voice so low you almost didn't hear it over the music.

The question caught you off guard. It was so direct, so vulnerable. You thought about lying, about giving him the easy answer. But you were tired of the lies, tired of the pretense.

"Mostly," you said honestly. "Tom is… he's good to me. He's kind."

"Kind," Alfie repeated, the word tasting like ash in his mouth. He was the opposite of kind. He was fucking evil and he knew it. He'd seen the way Tom looked at you, with an open, adoring gaze that Alfie had never allowed himself to show. He'd seen you two holding hands, Tom's thumb stroking the back of yours. It was a million small, perfect moments that added up to a life he had destroyed.

"Yeah," you said softly.

"You deserve it," Alfie said, the words barely audible, a confession to himself more than to you. He finally looked at you, "You deserve someone who's good to you."

The words were meant to be a kindness, an absolution, but they landed like a stone. Whole. As if he had broken you into so many pieces that you were now fundamentally damaged goods. The anger you had tried so hard to suppress flared to life, hot and sharp.

"Don't you dare," you said, your voice low and trembling with fury. "Why are you saying this now, after I'm finally okay. Fuck you, Alfie."

He flinched as if you'd slapped him, his face paling. "That's not what I meant."

"Isn't it?" you shot back, your voice rising. "You think you're the only one who was scared? I was terrified! I gave you my virginity and you called it pity! You don't get to come back now and play the nice guy. You lost that right."

Just then, Tom appeared in the kitchen doorway, his smile fading as he saw you and Alfie standing there, the charged atmosphere between you obvious. He saw the way Alfie was looking at you, a mixture of longing and misery, and the way your face was flushed with anger, your eyes shining with unshed tears.

"What's going on here?" Tom asked, his voice tight.

"Nothing," you said quickly, turning away from Alfie, trying to compose yourself. "We were just talking."

"About me, apparently," Tom said, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Alfie. "What, were you asking if she still thinks about you when we're fucking?"

Alfie's head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock. "What the fuck are you on about?"

"You think I'm stupid?" Tom snarled, stepping closer to you, his voice dropping to a furious whisper. "You think I don't see it? The way you look at her. The way she looks at you. This is why you moaned his name, isn't it? Because you're still sneaking around, still having your little secret conversations."

"Tom, stop it!" you cried, grabbing his arm. "There is nothing going on! I swear!"

"Don't lie to me!" he yelled, shaking you off.

"Hey, back the fuck off her," Alfie said, stepping forward, his hands clenched into fists.

"Or what?" Tom shot back, turning his fury on Alfie. "You gonna try and fuck her again? Is that your move? Break up happy couples because you can't stand that she moved on?"

The accusation hung in the air, ugly and public. A few people nearby had turned to stare, their curiosity piqued by the drama. You could feel their eyes on you, a hot, prickling shame.

"Tom, please," you begged, tears welling in your eyes. "He's my brother's best friend, that's all. We were just having a chat. There is absolutely nothing else. I love you. Please, just calm down."

You looked from Tom's furious, betrayed face to Alfie's pale, shocked one. In that moment, you saw the full extent of the damage Alfie had done. It wasn't just your heart he had broken, he had shattered your ability to have something normal, something good. 

Tom's chest was heaving, his eyes wild with a mixture of rage and hurt. He looked at you, then at Alfie, and a bitter, broken laugh escaped his lips.

"I can't do this," he said, shaking his head. "I can't compete with you, man."

"He's not anything! He's nothing!" you insisted, your voice cracking.

"Isn't he?" Tom retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "He's the one you moan for in bed. He's the one who can make you this angry with just a few words. He's the one who's standing here looking at you like he'd die for you, and you're looking back at him like you're still in love with him."

"I'm not!" you screamed, the denial tearing from your throat, but it sounded hollow even to your own ears.

Alfie stood frozen, a statue of misery. He wanted to say something, to deny it, to tell Tom to leave you alone, but he was trapped. Every word Tom said was true. He was the past. And he was watching it destroy your present.

"Let's go," Tom said, his voice suddenly flat, all the fight gone out of it, replaced by a cold, weary resignation. He grabbed your hand, his grip tight. "We're leaving."

You let him pull you towards the door, your feet dragging. You risked one last look back at Alfie. He was still standing there, alone in the kitchen, his beer bottle forgotten in his hand. He looked utterly destroyed. And as Tom led you out into the cold night air, you realized with a sickening certainty that you were too. 

"No," Alfie's voice cut through the air, low but firm, a startling shift from his previous paralysis. He took another step forward, putting himself slightly in front of you, a barrier you neither wanted nor asked for. "She's not going with you."

Tom let out a harsh, disbelieving laugh. "You don't get a say in this. You're nothing. You're the reason we're in this mess."

"She doesn't want to go," Alfie insisted, his eyes locked on Tom, but you could feel the weight of his attention on you, too. "Look at her. Does she look like she wants to be dragged out of here by you?"

The air was thick with unspoken words and the judgment of a couple people nearby. Your heart hammered against your ribs, a frantic, trapped bird. You wanted to scream yes, to grab Tom's hand and run, to prove to him, to everyone, to yourself, that Alfie was just a painful memory. But you couldn't. The words wouldn't come. To choose Tom now, in this moment of ultimatum, would feel like a performance, a lie. And you were so tired of lying.

Tom saw your silence. He saw the conflict warring on your face, the tears that were now freely streaming down your cheeks. His expression hardened, the hurt in his eyes turning into something cold and final.

"Fine," he bit out, his voice dangerously quiet. He looked directly at you, ignoring Alfie completely. "Pick."

The single word landed like a death sentence. Pick. As if love, as if your entire future, could be decided in a crowded kitchen, under the harsh judgment of a man you had once loved and a man you were supposed to love now. Your throat closed up. Picking Tom felt like a betrayal of the raw, agonizing history you shared with Alfie. Picking Alfie was impossible, a fantasy. You were ruined for both. So you did the only thing you could, you stayed silent, your gaze fixed on a stain on the floor, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Alfie's shoulders slumped, a wave of defeat washing over him. He hadn't meant for this. He had only wanted to spare you pain, and instead, he had engineered the moment of your ultimate humiliation. "You don't have to do this," he said softly, his voice meant only for you, but Tom heard it as a declaration.

"No," Tom said, the word cracking with finality. He dropped your hand as if it had burned him. "She does." He looked at your tear-streaked, silent face, and all the love he had for you turned into pity and resentment. "I can't, you know? I can't live like this, always wondering if I'm just a placeholder for this. I deserve more than that. We're done."

He didn't wait for a reply. He turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, shattered and alone in the wreckage he and Alfie had created together.

The party seemed to fade into a dull hum around you. Only Alfie remained, standing awkwardly beside you. "I... I'll walk you home," he offered, his voice hesitant.

You wanted to refuse, to tell him to get as far away from you as possible, but the thought of walking through the dark streets alone was unbearable. You gave a silent nod and walked out of the house, not waiting to see if he followed.

The journey was made in a suffocating silence. You walked on the pavement, he walked on the road, a careful distance between you. When you reached your door, you fumbled with your keys, your hands trembling too much to get them in the lock.

"Let me," Alfie said softly, taking the keys from you. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, but made no move to follow you inside.

You turned in the doorway, the cool night air a shock against your hot, tear- stained skin. All the anger, all the fury from earlier had drained away, leaving only a hollow, aching void. You had to know.

"I’m sorry" you whispered, your voice raw. "About... about me... in bed. With Tom."

Alfie flinched, his face etched with a misery so profound it seemed to pull at your own pain. "He was just trying to hurt me," he said, his voice low. "He was lashing out."

"But it was true, wasn't it?" The admission felt like tearing your own skin off. "That night. I... I did."

He looked at you, his eyes full of a terrible, gentle understanding. "I know," he said quietly. "He told me."

"He told you?" The shock was a fresh wave of nausea. "When?"

"About a week after it happened," Alfie confessed, his gaze dropping to the ground. "He came to the pub. He was drunk. He wanted to know why you were still so sad, why he wasn't enough. And it all came pouring out. He was destroyed."

And just like that, the last of your strength crumbled. The humiliation of Tom knowing, of him telling Alfie, of it all being discussed between them while you were none the wiser, was too much. A ragged, broken sob tore from your chest. You sank against the doorframe, your body wracked with tremors.

Alfie was there in an instant. He closed the small distance between you, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you against his chest. You fought it for a second, pushing weakly at his shoulders, but it was useless. You were too tired, too broken to resist any comfort, even if it came from the source of all your pain. You collapsed against him, your fists clutching the front of his shirt as you sobbed, all the grief, the anger, the shame pouring out of you.

He held you tightly, one hand stroking your hair, the other pressed firmly against your back, anchoring you. He didn't speak. He just stood there in the doorway of your home and let you break apart in his arms.

[eveninggstar]

never wanted to go to coachella more than ethelchella btw😒

[1-12-000]

q: what has kept you driven in this sport? m: winning. yeah, i mean, winning is the best thing that can happen in formula 1 and it's also the most enjoyable thing that can happen in formula 1, so that for sure drives you, you know, for more. you want more and you want to try and do it as long as you can.