assigned ghoul at birth

Jaye ~ 25 ~ any pronouns ~ certified lame ass butch ~ enjoyer of all things surreal, spooky, and scary

[eventuallycompost]

hello! Welcome to my blog! Here’s some things about me :)

[hoodiehorizon]

Me the first half of The Backrooms: "oh I get it. He's a down on his luck failed architect and even more failed furniture store owner who's trying to better himself. He'll probably be fascinated with the furniture/architecture of the backrooms and start selling the items there for money + notoriety. And eventually he'll go deeper and deeper to get more and more items until he gets trapped and encounters The Horrors. A classic tale of hubris :) "

Me the second half of the backrooms:

[jayyyneotai]

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[t00thpasteface]

related to my previous post: this is my POV on the eternal "it is/n't that deep" debate always going on with everything, as someone who now just goes "cool okay whatever" and leaves when something disappoints me instead of wasting time raging about what went wrong or waiting around for it to get better. i think it's good to have all those crazy what-if thought experiments, but i also think you need to make sure you're not setting yourself up for heartache! be nice to yourself and be nice to other people (as the moral so often is...)

[thememedaddy]

[goth-queen]

[josephbrassey]

“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”

Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.

“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”

Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.

“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”

You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?

One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.

The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.

And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.

And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.

[tunisian]

oh my god. most of life really is about the little things. a good haircut, a nice playlist, trying a new recipe that turns out well, a poem that hits home, a comfortable spot in the sun, spontaneous messages, a pen you enjoy writing with, tea with the right temperature to drink, buying that thing you’ve been eyeing for a while, a warm bed. yeah im so grateful for the small joys

[b0nkcreat]

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

[emil]

the butterfly doesnt even have to be saved next question

[hyvee]

This is so funny. I’d kill all billionaires if it meant losing something precious to me

[porcelain-rob0t]

i would kill all billionaires for a stick of gum idgaf

[impishthing]

[waytoohigh63]

thing that pisses me off most about adhd advice from neurotypicals... the 'doing something for 30 days forms a habit.' bitch nothing in my life is a habit i would be ripping bong and jacking off all day if it was a matter of choice. never underestimate my ability to be super invested in something for like 2 weeks and then forget to do it one day and never go back to it

[rubyvroom]

That's it!! That's it!!

Nothing is a habit! It's all deliberate choices and it's EXHAUSTING

It's like the difference between automatic breathing and conscious breathing. Imagine if automatic breathing didn't work for you and if you didn't decide to breath you would just run out of air. So you have to mentally manage your breathing on top of your normal functioning.

Now make that EVERYTHING. So no I'm not going to brush my teeth without thinking about it or do the exercise program automatically or make my bed or whatever. If I'm not thinking I'm not doing anything! I'm staring at a wall! And at the end of the day I'm almost always at this point where I have no mental spoons left and that means task queue is empty. My brain is tired and I'm powering down! I'm not even "going to bed" with all of the sub-steps that this entails like changing into pajamas and brushing my teeth, I'm just done for the day no more tasks the end.

So that stuff you can do as a habit is just another task on my to-do list requiring mental energy. Even resting is a task with its own requirements! And it leads to the constant feeling that I don't have enough time to do all the things I need to do, even when none of those things take very much time. It's just the task queue is so long! That's too many things! I can't add any more things, I don't have time! And managing the Task Queue is it's own task!

And if I get overloaded I'll dump the whole queue and go into Idle Mode. No thoughts, do nothing. And I'm in Idle Mode pretty frequently in the evenings which makes it look like I'm just lazy, to everyone in the world including me! No organization system can change this.

[c-is-for-circinate]

I think a key thing here, that I'm pretty sure from observation is totally invisible to the neurotypical view of the world, is the difference between a habit and a pattern.

ADHD people fall into patterns of behavior all the time! Hell, dumping all thought and staring at the wall in Idle Mode is a pattern. Sometimes these even seem habit-like, in the 'doing them without thought' sense. The key difference I've found, after several decades living in my own ADHD brain, is that these patterns of repeated behavior ALL tend to come down to one thing: what is the easiest way, with the lowest possible cognitive load, to solve this recurring problem right now?

Sometimes, "the same thing we always do please do not make me think harder than that" is easiest, even if there might be other options that would take less physical effort. So we follow patterns of solving the same problem the same way every time, because it's easier to put the keys in our hand as we walk through the door on the kitchen counter nearest said door than to figure out a better place for them. Other times, we forget! Circumstances change very slightly. The usual solution his a road block -- there's a pile of mail on that part of the counter today. Or for some reason it won't work -- we simply cannot face another night of Lean Cuisine or chicken fingers for dinner. Or the problem doesn't present itself in the same way so we end up completely off script -- we had enough extra brain to do a whole fancy skin care routine before bed and therefore completely forgot to take evening meds.

And unlike a habit, this usually derails basically as soon as circumstances change. If they change for one than one day, the pattern is out the window and we're back to having to solve this new iteration of our problem from first principles all over again. Every time, at least until our brains find a new easiest pattern.

[ashtxeman]

Nerdy Prudes opening: I'm dead I'm bleeding out in the bathroom I was brutally murdereeed highschool sucks Black Friday opening: BUY BUY BUY SPEND SPEND SPEND UGLY GREEN BASTARD GO! TGWDLM opening: We all HATE this fucking guy come and see why

[elierlick]

We should all be talking about KOSA. The bill would mean the end of the open internet in the US, and it was just approved by a House committee for a floor vote. The act is ostensibly designed to regulate the age of social media users. However, it actually deanonymizes the internet and allows the government to sue LGBTQ+ websites.

Unsurprisingly, the Heritage Foundation is one of the main lobbying groups behind this push. They have publicly stated they want to use the law to restrict LGBTQ+ and abortion-related content. Blocking children under 16 from accessing the internet means young people will be isolated within their communities. They cannot discuss LGBTQ+ issues with their online peers. They could not request help to access abortion clinics. Senator Marsha Blackburn, who once personally sent the FBI to my doorstep to harass me, admits the law is intended to shield “minor children from the transgender [sic] in this culture.”

“The through-line couldn’t be clearer: destroying online anonymity is a way for government to be able to identify ¬— and ultimately punish — dissenters,” explains Ari Cohn, lead counsel for tech policy at the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression. The DHS has already subpoenaed hundreds of anonymous accounts tracking and protesting ICE. KOSA would make it even easier for the government to access your data.

Read the full article in The Intercept!

[littleguysdaily]

[littleguysdaily]

People coming into my tags being like "Little Guys Daily must be on drugs if he thinks I can't chuck a fully grown 500kg dolphin around like a baseball"

[littleguysdaily]

It means Chuckability! Why are you guys going off vibes!?

[krudman]

[deanwinchesterapologist]

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one