Everydaydwarfism

"Dwarf·ism" noun 1. the condition of being a dwarf. 2. discrimination or devaluation based on a being a dwarf. I was born with Achondroplasia - the most common form of dwarfism. I'm 28, male, and live in south London with my partner, 26. She is also Achondroplasic. I set this up after being encouraged by friends to document just some of the things we experience, living in C21st Britain.

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

Bus stop

Waiting at the bus stop when suddenly a stranger grabs me in a headlock-like grip from behind. I duck out of her grip and spin around. "What the fuck are you doing??!" "I just wanted to give you a kiss", she said. I now feel like I need a wash with a scouring pad.

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A sneak preview of a new project we’ve been working on at Apolaki Krav Maga: the first ever tailored programme of self-defence for people with dwarfism.

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Apolaki Self Protection for Dwarfs: The first ever bespoke self-defence system for people with restricted growth

The skinhead’s hands looked like they were going for my throat. It was broad daylight, on a busy street, in the middle of the day.

I don’t even remember where I was going. All I remember is looking to my left, distracted by a homeless man asking for change as I walked past. When I turned my head back to the front, a tall man – about 6’ 0” – was advancing aggressively in my direction, just a few feet away, his hands outstretched towards me.

I have Achondroplasia – one of the most common types of dwarfism. In 28 years, I’ve had stones thrown at my head; I’ve been chased by youths on mopeds; I’ve been grabbed and assaulted by strangers. I was frequently bullied at school. The list of instances in which I’ve been verbally abused or threatened is too long to include here.

Now, I make no assumption that my experiences are representative of other dwarfs. But I know I’m not alone.

Throughout my life, I’ve studied boxing, self-defense, and martial arts: Karate, Kick-boxing, Ninjitsu, and Tae-kwon-do, to name but a few. Growing up, these provided a valuable outlet for me as a frustrated and isolated young man, who struggled to deal positively with an environment that felt harsh and hostile towards me.

And yet, over time I realised that so many of these forms of self-defence were completely inapplicable for people with dwarfism. Even at 4’6” – hardly small for a dwarf – my hips are at the height of most people’s knees. I’m never going to get my leg up high enough to […]

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I find it genuinely perplexing...

...that anyone would accommodate a friend pulling out their phone and showing them some blurry photo, cowardly and surreptitiously taken, of a dwarf their friend just happened to see in the street. That said friend would find such a photo to be of any value or humour whatsoever is something I can't get my head around.

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“Adversity toughens manhood, and the characteristic of the good or the great man is not that he has been exempt from the evils of life, but that he has surmounted them.”

Patrick Henry

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"MIDGET!!"

Walking home from the corner shop when a gang of 12-14 year old kids bravely hide behind a car and start shouting "MIDGET!" "MIDGET!!" I'm tempted to go over and call their card on this. Maybe it's the fact there's about 6 or 7 of them this time that makes me hesitate. Plus, I have to be mindful that my partner - who also has dwarfism - lives in the block with me, too. I don't want them shouting at her but I also don't want them to harass her even further because of something I've done. I hate this situation. Either way you feel vindicated for staying in control, and ashamed for not pulling their card on this and confronting them. An older man passing by stops and shouts at them. "What's wrong with you?!" he barks. They start to disperse. It's always heartening when passerbys help out. They rarely do.

[disabilityhorizons]

New campaign from Leonard Cheshire. Many disabled people in UK are only allocated 15 minute care visits.

Join the campaign to end 15-minute care visits: http://www.lcdisability.org/makecarefair

We’ll be delivering all the signatures to Downing Street in a few weeks, before the Care Bill returns to the House of Lords. Please help us raise awareness by liking and sharing

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

Powerful new campaign from Leonard Cheshire Disability. Would you be happy if your mum or old man received just 15 minutes of care?

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"Have I seen you in a movie?"

Asks the man on the tube, two seats down from me. He'd been staring at me for a bit too long than is socially comfortable. "I'm sorry?" I said, struggling to hear. "You look familiar. Have I seen you in a movie?" he said, again. "No. You haven't." I replied, turning back to my book. I can guarantee - as I can in nearly every other instance in which this happens - that - besides my skin colour, gender, and possibly even age - I almost certainly look nothing like whoever he's referring to. Us dwarfs all look the same to some people. I go back to reading my book.

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

I long for the day when someone with dwarfism reads the news

This article first appeared on The Guardian (Dec '11). Save for the explosion of Peter Dinklage, Little has changed since then and so I thought it worth re-posting.

As someone with achondroplasia (a form of dwarfism), I'm often stopped in the street and asked by members of the public if they recognise me from the television. Just the other day I had the following exchange:

Boy (aged 10): "You're on that programme Seven Dwarves innit?" Me: "No." Boy (surprised): "But you look like it!" Me: "well … yes … because I am a dwarf." Boy (more perplexed) "But … I heard there were seven dwarves." Me: "There are more than seven!" Boy falls silent, looks totally baffled and slightly worried

Now we've got yet another new TV series featuring someone with restricted growth. Ricky Gervais's current series Life's Too Short, which stars dwarf actor Warwick Davis (who has appeared in films like Willow), is due to end tonight. The programme is a "mockumentary" about Davis – his life and acting career. The humour is straight from the Book of Brent – awkward, painful, and aimed at an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Unexpectedly, many of the jokes centre on Davis's height; scenes include him crawling through a dog-flap and being called "an evil toilet dwarf" by Johnny Depp. These have caused criticism and outrage – some of which has been expressed here in the Guardian, wherein parents have called for the programme to be taken off air.

Whenever I hear a new film or programme "starring" people with dwarfism, my immediate reaction is one of deep scepticism. This is partly because I know that if the dwarf or dwarves featured happen to be white, about 4ft and aged 17 to 40, I will almost certainly be spending the next few weeks explaining to people like the child above that the person they saw was not in fact me; it is also because I fear just how dwarfism will be portrayed and what impact this might have on me (I still regularly receive verbal abuse as a result of Verne Troyer's Mini-Me character from Austin Powers).

I know such portrayals will almost always fall into one of two cliched categories. The first is the story of people with restricted growth who have triumphed over the "tragedy" that is their disability. I do not wish to devalue the tenacious courage with which these people overcome very real challenges – some of which I know myself. But even well-meaning programmes of this kind can perpetuate a "personal tragedy" model of disability and reduce someone's life to a continuous battle against the odds.

The second – and much more widespread – category is that which depicts dwarfism as something to ridicule; as the subject of intrigue and mockery. The "toilet dwarves" of this world fit neatly here. The dwarf is almost always the object, not the deliverer, of comedy. The jokes are often vile and degrading, and frequently re-enacted in our streets, schools and public spaces.

In a free society, which celebrates freedom of opinion, such programmes occupy a difficult space. The views within them may be insulting to some, including me, and just not funny to others, but banning them from air actually achieves very little. Embracing free speech means swallowing the fact that much of what is said is disagreeable and in bad taste.

In the spirit of free expression, such depictions need to be challenged. But we desperately lack the tools with which to do this – these are films, programmes and the like that portray people with dwarfism for what we really are: parents, carers, teachers, designers, lawyers and everything else; as everyday members of communities who participate in and contribute to society.

I long to turn on Masterchef or Grand Designs and see an aspiring chef or ambitious property developer who just happens to have restricted growth; to see a dwarf detective in CSI or The Killing, or a University Challenge or Newsnight panellist with achondroplasia. I long for the day someone stops me in the street and asks if I presented the news last night. 

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First impressions

When I'm out and about, I'm ever mindful that, for some people, I may be the first dwarf they've seen in the flesh. Because of this, I'm always conscious of the need to make a good impression - especially as an effort, albeit perhaps more indirect, to combat stereotypes. With so few positive - or even normal - representations of dwarfism in our mainstream media, I feel strongly that every impression in the flesh should be a good one. And so, at the risk of a humble brag, there's always a bit more of a spring in my step when I step out into the world in a dark bespoke suit and tailored made shirt. I once read that the average Joe will only see or pass four or so dwarfs in the flesh in real life (sounds like something out of David Attenborough documentary). And while I'm not sure as to the authenticity of this fact, if its right then I want to make damn sure that not only do I look good to me but I look good for dwarfs, too.

[inspirationauvoyage]

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

Exactly. 

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Game of Thrones

I don't know about Everydaydwarfism followers, but I'm itching for a new #GameofThrones season!

Not only is it a fantastic, well-scripted show; but also, and here I declare an interest as a dwarf, features the man above - Peter Dinklage - in a leading role. 

I've written about dwarfs on TV before: while it pains me to see dwarfs in roles that are self-deprecating, mocking, and set a bad example for others watching the show, unlike some others I don't believe such shows should be banned. Freedom of speech means accepting that some things are unpalatable and said in bad taste. 

Instead, they should be over-shadowed with a blizzard of other, normal roles: Question Time contestants, news-readers, weather men and women, whatever. The abnormality of a few absurd representations should be unbalanced by the many banal portrayals of what most of our lives are really like. 

That said, as Tyrion Lannister, Peter Dinklage has raised the bar in a way that, I think, has never been done before - at least, not on this level.

A key point is that his character is from an average height family - as many of us, including myself - are, and not some 'tribe' or 'race' of dwarfs. 

He fights and defends himself; he has sex and relationships; he is a sagacious strategist and a shrewd operator. He is intelligent, articulate and funny. 

Oh yes, and he's a dwarf - one who is plastered, for all the right reasons, on billboards in Piccadilly Circus and Times Square, who features on gun control adverts with stars like Beyonce, who won an Emmy. 

The bar has been set. I only hope it won't be too long before someone else with dwarfism comes along and raises it. 

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

"I prefer the term 'dwarf'" - an interview with Steve Hynd

For all my new followers, I thought I'd re-blog this interview I did on Everdaydwarfism, with Steve Hynd, from Hynd's blog. The original interview was posted here.

For many readers the term ‘dwarf’ is one they are not familiar with. I know some people are nervous about using it, afraid that it is derogatory. Can you tell us what the word means to you?

I personally much prefer the term ‘dwarf’ as opposed to others like ‘midget’, which many dwarfs I know find offensive. But, for me – and this is where the whole idea of political correctness becomes redundant – what’s more important are the intentions behind the terms used.

People can be ‘politically correct’ but employ such words with malicious intent; others may use quite derogatory terms without any idea or intention of insulting or hurting a person. It all depends on the way such terms are framed.

Can you tell us a little about why you set up EveryDayDwarfism?  

The aim behind EveryDayDwarfism is to document and present just some of the things that I – and my partner who also has dwarfism – go through during our day or week. Its purpose is to try to make people just that little bit more aware as to the things we encounter as dwarfs.

A lot of what we experience, I would put down to stigma and discrimination still being relatively acceptable to lots of people. The whole tone of the site is not supposed to be angry or ‘martyr-ish’, but relatively neutral, matter-of-fact and informative.

It’s to say: ‘these things happen, quite regularly. I just wanted you to know’.

Within the EveryDaySexism movement, there is a strong feeling of finally ‘shouting back’. Within EveryDayDwarfism it also feels like there is quite a lot of rage, is this an important element of responding to discrimination?

It depends what you mean by rage. Rage is very important but it needs to be channelled in the right way and used very carefully.

Leaving out abuse in the form of physical violence, I think when responding to discrimination it’s vital to ask oneself: ‘what is it that I want to achieve here?’ and, more importantly, ‘how will I get this person to change the way they think and act towards me and others like me’.

Can you tell us a bit about how you coped with the attention and discrimination before you started chronicling it on EveryDayDwarfism?

It really depends on two things: the type of abuse, attention or discrimination, and the intentions behind it.

Some abuse – e.g. an individual shouting insults from a moving car – is best left ignored. What can you achieve when they’re 100 metres down the road by the time they’ve finished their sentence?

Others – the attention from a small child for example – is normally fine; although, as I wrote on the site, it’s often the reaction – or lack thereof – from the parents that is the most frustrating thing.

Some abuse though might manifest itself in the form of totally unprovoked physical violence or confrontation.

Have you been in contact with other dwarfs, how do they feel about EveryDayDwarfism? Do others relate to your experiences?

It’s very important that people don’t think that EveryDayDwarfism or my own experiences reflect those of other dwarfs; I can’t speak for them. Not even my partner.

However, I do know that lots of people like me experience such things – sometimes less so, sometimes more so.

If you had one message to the metaphorical guy in the street who tries to take a photo of you with his phone, what would it be?

Just stop, for a moment, and think: What are you doing? Why are you doing this? Why would you or your friends find that photo or film to be of any value or interest? What does that say about your character, as an adult, and how you think about and respond to people who are different? What if I was your brother, son or cousin? How would you see it then?

A bit of a long message!

You wrote for the Guardian about the portrayal of dwarfs in the media, do you see EveryDayDwarfism as an effort to counter some of that through the illustration of agency?

Not really, no. Sadly, but also deliberately, EveryDayDwarfism documents some of the negative things that happen. And in this way, there is a negative tone to the blog.

What I was trying to say in the article you mention was that there needs to be more boring, regular, neutral representation of dwarfism in the media – weather reporters, Masterchef contestants, Question Time panelists, kids on CBBC – whatever.

Basically, more portrayals of dwarfism that do not limit that person’s identity to ‘a dwarf’ but reflects what they really are: a citizen, a parent, a doctor or lawyer, a voter, someone with views, ideas, etc.

What has been the reaction of family and friends to EveryDayDwarfism, are they shocked to hear of such day-to-day encounters? 

It was actually as a result of encouragement from friends to set up EveryDayDwarfism that I did.

Often friends have no idea of the things that I – and lots of others like me – encounter on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Some have even been in situations with me when there has been abuse or something happen. Quite often, they are absolutely shocked at the way some people behave. It’s not a question of going looking for abuse or discrimination – that’s not a productive or positive way to live – it’s that, a lot of the time, this stuff finds you – seeks you out, interrupts your day, your evening, when you’re just trying to live your life. And that’s what I wanted people to realise.

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

In the courts, from ancient Egypt through the 18th century, dwarfs were collected, indulged, sometimes abused, and sent by royalty as gifts ... Monarchs in all nations sent emissaries far and wide to gather dwarfs: although some may have been free, it is likely that others were held in some degree of bondage. A combination of being highly prized, but the property of an owner, were among the defining characteristics of dwarfs' lives during the nearly 5000 years they are known to have been present in the courts of Africa, Asia, Europe and Central America ... In all periods, they were assigned to wait upon or amuse others.

Dwarfs: The Changing Lives of Archetypal "Curiosities" – and Echoes of the Past, Betty M Adelson

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Assault on route to the cinema

I've written a few times before about why it's so important for dwarfs to learn self defence and why I box and study Krav Maga.

Well, today was a case in point. Walking along Clapham High St, en route to the cinema, when a stranger grabs me from behind - using two hands, gripping both my shoulders hard. I'm pretty sure this counts as common assault.

I duck, roll out of his grip, and turn round to confront him. I've never seen him before. "Don't fucking touch me!" I shout.

My friend is beside me - 6ft and 14st with a juggernaut of a right hand.

The man stops and squares up to me.I immediately take my kit bag off my right shoulder, freeing my right arm, and pass it into my left hand, ready to drop it on the floor should I need my hands. I step back and place my weight on my right foot.

"What?!" I bark. There is something both ridiculous and threatening about his posturing. He's blocking my way, but he's overweight and drunk. His groin is exposed. A hard right hand would do it. I watch his shoulders.

"OI! YOU! BEHAVE!" Shouts a bystander, pushing the man aside, directing him to walk away from us. He does - swearing at us, spitting. And then posing outside a shop like he's threatening.

By this stage, he's turned into more of a joke than a threat.

The most heartening thing to emerge from this situation is the reaction of the bystander. I've had such things happen to me a few times before, on busy streets, but it's rare for anyone to help out.

That, and Elysium was wicked.

[everydaydwarfism-blog]

Nice.

I love it when you walk through a gang of kids - boys, especially - all laughing and joking among themselves, as kids do. And then they see you. Pause. And they all go right back to their conversations without so much as even a snicker. Nice.