So Iāve delayed posting because for the past few weeks I had been feeling kind of low, and I didnāt want to write anything too depressing.
But there is a part two to the bookshelf issue.
Since part 1, Gustaf was still adamant about not going to the diy store with me. Up until 2 weeks ago that is.
2 weeks ago, we had a new fuse box installed, and it was larger than the old one so the shelf area near the front door - where it was located- had to be taken apart to make it fit.
Maybe because he couldnāt ignore that shelf at the entrance as much as he could ignore the bookshelf. He finally agreed to go to the diy store. But obviously he didnāt want to plan how the new shelving would look, and he wanted to involve his dad in the project.
At this point I didnāt care, I didnāt mind doing the measurements, making a sketch etc and I didnāt mind his dad being involved because finally we were going to the diy store.
The evening before, as I was taking final measurements, I asked him repeatedly to come and look at what the plans were and how I wanted it to look. But he paid little attention to my explanations because there was more interesting stuff on the computer.
I had also repeatedly asked him to let me know what him and his dadās plan was for the next morning. But ofc, he delayed contacting his dad, and then told me that his dad was travelling that night from Amsterdam so he was getting no response. I later figured out this was a lie, because I know the parents were celebrating their anniversary that night.
And when discussing the trip or trying to make plans, he began to question why I needed to come in the first placeā¦.this is the same person who told me I should just go there alone.
The next morning, the dad turns up, and Gustaf asks if I want to comeā¦as if he had forgotten that I really wanted to come to the store. He seemed more concerned about male bonding time with his dad than actually getting the shelf fixed. So I got really annoyed at both of them, and I decided not to go. He could fix it by himself.
But then of course the dad was involved, and once they were through I was left with the worst looking set of shelves. I actually couldnāt believe how something so straightforward could end up looking so bad. The measurements were all off, they overcomplicated my plans, and to top it off, they didnāt see anything wrong with their handiwork. āJust needs some wood filler, and it will look greatā.
So I began to take it down not long after they finished, because of its sheer ugliness. This spawned an epic argument, because apparently, taking it down was disrespectful and unappreciative.
In the end, I had to go to the diy store, with his mother, to get things to fix that shelf. And in 3 hours (not counting the day I had to varnish it) it was fixed. I also varnished the other bookshelf. Thus bringing an end to this saga.
Yet, what I have learnt from this is that,
1. It seems like I will have to do many things alone here, because my boyfriend is reluctant to participate, even when it concerns important things like the appearance of his property (as afterall it is his apartment)
2. That I need to formulate a solid āLimiting external family interferenceā plan, because I legit get anxious every time I am around his family or if they are involved some how because either something bad happens, or I am let down. I told Gustaf this, but he just said that I set too high standards for his parentsā¦ I canāt even think about how things will be if/when I have children with Gustaf, because my trust and comfort level is slowly decreasing the longer I stay in Stockholm, and the more I interact with them. So definitely, since Iām left out to the open it seems, I definitely need the LEFI plan to be worked out š¤š
