[ + ] an independent multi muse blog — as loved by bri .. and at this dead end, it will be you and it will be i, standing at the edge of nowhere ...
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almost home

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if i look back, i am lost

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@everyroute
[ + ] an independent multi muse blog — as loved by bri .. and at this dead end, it will be you and it will be i, standing at the edge of nowhere ...
[ + ] an independent multi muse blog — as loved by bri .. and at this dead end, it will be you and it will be i, standing at the edge of nowhere ...
[ + ] an independent multi muse blog — as loved by bri .. and at this dead end, it will be you and it will be i, standing at the edge of nowhere ...
so many thoughts so many feelings
prompt. he was his brothers keeper. he's heart-hardened by circumstances. the dim light of the setting sun filters through the cracks of the room, pacing prints into the creaking wood. you are so mad and yet so wrong. @everyroute he's halted to a sudden stop, feet cemented. his scoff is then hardened by old ghosts. ‘ open your god damn eyes, tommy! ’ joel spat. tommy, blood of his blood. marrow of his marrow, his breath bursting like gun smoke as teeth resemble thorns. [ they lie in this valley of traumas, their unholy terrors sing akin to broken ravens, thick with tension. ] you'd have to understand that tommy and joel were brothers first, and they'd always been ones to challenge like brothers. joel's darkness was one which tommy would tide against. but today, joel felt that this challenge was sharpened to a point.
‘ you think i ain't justified, that what you're sayin'? you saw what it is out there. you remember. you know. ’ his heart raced, pounds in horse hoof rhythms and pitter-patters, fleeting shadows of blood spilled and hell-stained. there's grave-yard dirt beneath his fingernails, and the delivery in his words lacks any tongue of moral clarity, or toe to toe, or anything remotely akin to the statement. he prods his finger at his brother's chest. ‘ and damn it, you call it right or wrong, i call it you makin' it through another day. ’
+ T.M. _ he's built a sleeve out of the half-rotted pieces of himself. wears them raw. wears them bloody. wears them with a smile on days he tries to pretend like they aren't there at all. he hasn't figured out why. that's the moral of his story, isn't it? searching endlessly, but forgotten what for. carrying this and carrying that, carrying it all, FOR SOMETHING WITHOUT A NAME. "my eyes are open, joel! wide open!" it comes from his heart instead of his head, and maybe that's where he's getting it wrong -- where it's all becoming lost in translation. his beating organ far too loud for the thoughts to be clear.
"it ain't about what i think." he argues, with the crux of emotion smouldering in his throat. voice thick. tone begging. it lives and sits and breathes, and shines right through his eyes. it doesn't matter how many years nether in his bones, how much moss and sludge and crimson weighs down their tethered and weary strings, he thinks there's a part of him that'll always wonder how the fuck joel keeps it buried down. it stirs envy in the swell of his core. then he stands here and looks at him and corrects the envy: IS THAT REALLY ANY WAY TO LIVE AT ALL? "hell, maybe it ain't even about what you think. we've been survivin'! got that one covered. y'ever think about puttin' a little time in there for living, huh? that thought ever cross your mind? 'cause you're right. i have seen it, but that don't mean we have to sacrifice everything else for it too. c'mon."
helllooooo :) i think i'm going to try and pound out some writing and then answer plotting dm's
SOFT(ish) ANGST PROMPTS
“ i thought you were gone. for good. ”
“ you left and— i thought you weren’t coming back. ”
“ i miss you. i know i’m not supposed to, but. i just had to see you. ”
“ please don’t scare me like that again. i can take a lot of things, but not losing you. ”
“ i can’t even take the very thought of you getting hurt. ”
“ you could’ve gotten yourself killed! you could’ve— fuck! you scared the shit outta me. ”
“ yes. i am telling you what to do. i’m telling you not to pull something like that again because— ‘cause fucking hell. i care about you. okay? ”
“ i found myself driving home and then. well i was on my way here. ‘cause i guess…you’re still my home. ”
“ please, tell me why you’re upset. tell me who did this? ”
“ you don’t have to come over here and take care of me you know. i can clean up my own messes. ”
“ don’t talk. just get the fuck over here and hold me. ”
“ loving you is like having my heart just out in the world. outside of my body walking around. every time i see you hurting, it kills me. ”
“ i made you cry. and i hate myself for that. i swore i wouldn’t be one of the people who left you hurting. ”
“ you really hurt me this time. but i want to let go of that. i really do want to forgive you i’m just scared you’ll hurt me again. ”
“ i know you’re mad at me right now, but i’m the one who’s here. let me be here. let me help. you can be angry later. ”
“ i’m here now. i know i wasn’t before. but i should’ve been. and i’m not going anywhere. i’m not gonna let that happen again. ”
“ it’s time to come home now. ”
“ that’s enough. you’ve got your revenge. let’s go. ”
“ i know you’re hurting. and i can’t fix that. but i can refuse to let you hurt alone. ”
“ i’m never letting go of you. i missed you so fucking much. ”
“ look at me, you’re safe. and you’re not alone. and i’ll never let you be alone again. you understand? ”
“ i broke my promise to you once. i’ll never do it again. ”
“ i don’t need you to go white knighting and fix all this. i just want you here. with me. that will make me feel better. ”
“ just stay still and let me hold you. ”
“ you don’t have to hide your tears. let it out. then we’ll move on, together. ”
“ i just. needed to talk to you ‘cause. somehow you always know what to say. ”
“ don’t bury your feelings. sadness. hurt. rage. feel it. acknowledge it so you can decide what you want to do with it. not what it will do to you. ”
“ i miss your smile. and not that sad one you try to fool everyone with. the real one. the one you used to show me. ”
“ come here. i’m taking care of you tonight. and you’re gonna let me. ”
1) our muses reunite after sender thought receiver was dead.
2) our muses reunite after receiver thought sender was dead.
3) sender shows up at receiver’s house drunk after they’ve broken up.
4) receiver shows up at sender’s house drunk after they’ve broken up.
5) our muses are on bad terms but reunite after one of them nearly dies.
6) sender finds receiver crying and approaches, clearing the tears with their hands while demanding to know what happened.
7) receiver finds sender crying and approaches, clearing the tears with their hands while demanding to know what happened.
8) our muses haven’t been speaking, but sender rushes to take care of receiver after they’ve been injured or fell ill.
9) our muses haven’t been speaking, but receiver rushes to take care of sender after they’ve been injured or fell ill.
10) sender hurt receiver in some way, which led to receiver doing something reckless and sender shows up to stop them/or deal with the aftermath.
11) receiver hurt sender in some way, which led to sender doing something reckless and receiver shows up to stop them/or deal with the aftermath.
12) our muses are in a fight, but cuddle anyway because they don’t like sleeping alone.
13) receiver wakes sender from a nightmare.
14) sender wakes receiver from a nightmare.
15) sender wakes up in the hospital and finds receiver at their side, who is in the same clothes as the day they were admitted because they’ve refused to leave their side.
16) receiver wakes up in the hospital and finds sender at their side, who is in the same clothes as the day they were admitted because they’ve refused to leave their side.
17) our muses are currently on the outs, but receiver goes through something traumatic and sender pushes past their friends to get to them.
18) our muses are currently on the outs, but sender goes through something traumatic and receiver pushes past their friends to get to them.
+ SADIER ADLER ___ "it ain't shit if it ain't heavy." her voice sings, a sympathetic tune through the playful curve of her mouth. her shoulders creak and groan beneath the weight of grief. the only tears she has are the angry kind, red hot and burning when they fall. she mourns the loss in her heart but not in her head. it's hard to come to terms with something you just can't understand, and sadie, no matter how hard she tries — she just doesn't think she'll ever understand. and that's a heavy enough burden for anyone to carry around. and it's shit. loosening the handkerchief around her neck, she nudges arthur with her elbow. secrets are a bottomless well. she wears most of hers on her sleeve. never much for holding anything back. jake used to tell her it'd wind her up in all kinds of troubles, with about as much jest and ease as the man could muster. IF HE COULD ONLY SEE HER NOW. wild-eyed, and reborn a monster. "if y'think i'm gonna start mindin' my p's and q's 'round you now, arthur, you got another thing comin'." she's wouldn't know much about how to do that. too much likeness staring back at her in the whites of his eyes. both a blessing and a curse, she thinks. "besides, it doesn't do anyone damn good t'keep it caged. can't cage ghosts."
even as we breathe, accepting. — @peggies ... i don't mean to lay a bunch of heavy shit on you.
10/10 could never be an influencer because i have one tik tok clocking 100k views and the notifs every time i open the app are making me clinically insane
alternative tumblr platform for rp in the event of a shut down
wafrn is a tumblr adjacent blogging platform operated on something called 'fediverse.' now for the ins and outs of what that is i really suggest letting someone more tech savvy explain. the short of it is that it's a network of servers independent of big corporations. wafrn is fairly similar to tumblr in terms of user interface.
this is how it looks
the content itself is a little empty right now. the tag search works just fine, i think there's just not a lot of users creating anything to put in them because we're all over here. if there ever was a mass migration i could see plenty of art, poetry and gifs being uploaded. i don't think gifsets would be the same as they are here but we could adapt. it would be a simple matter.
you can send and reply to asks just as normally. all the functions are pretty much identical to tumblr it's just a slightly different UI.
now the part everyone actually cares about. does this place work for rp? i'm gonna say...maybee?
the biggest issue would be there not being any ability to cut posts right now. it's possible that if we did all have to move the same angels who gifted us xkit might help us here, or the creators of wfrn would be willing to add it into the coding as its a small community right now. it's not the same as trying to fight with a big corp that forces staff to do their bidding. with that in mind i'm kinda cautiously optimistic a case could be made to the engineers to add new functions for new communities.
now similar to twitter, you can quote posts which if all else fails would be a somewhat functional way to do threads.
that's all i've got for now. i don't know what will happen to this app, no on really does right now and we've survived so many potential shut downs so who knows! but i think this is a comforting alternative to have in the back of our minds. everyone would just have to be willing to adapt and communicate with each other to make a move happen if that day comes. <3
i'm on the wrong blog for this but fuck that 1923 finale i am crashing tf out
even as we breathe.
dialogue prompts from even as we breathe: a novel by annette saunooke clapsaddle.
my plan didn't quite work the way i thought it would.
you sure have a way with words.
should i be afraid?
empathy is fossilized in our bones.
if you keep your mouth shut and your ears open, you might just learn a thing or two.
there's rumors about this place, you know.
sometimes i poke fun when i'm on edge.
i want to be respected, not respectable.
just ignore me. heck, everyone else does.
have you ever felt like everybody was staring at you?
your demeanor is distinctly unwelcoming.
humility has its place.
don't do anything to get yourself fired.
nothing scary about nothingness. it's the something you should be afraid of.
you didn't play games going up?
i never feel like people are telling me the whole truth.
everyone has their own take, their own theory.
biblical references aren't exactly my forte.
but how will i know when i'm done?
you don't need to lie to make me feel better.
it's just how i was raised.
tell me about your family.
i'm surprised you don't already know all my business. everybody else sure does.
you speak of the dead so easily.
thought i might have to wake you for dinner.
is this your hiding place?
i'm not scared. i'm mad.
you make odysseus look like a joyrider.
not all love is made of equal parts.
what's wrong with you today?
everything okay back home?
it's not forever. just try to remember that.
just trying to stay out of trouble.
you can't prepare yourself for things like this.
you knew and you didn't tell me.
it's too early in the morning for ghost stories.
you were always my soft place to land.
i need you to see me.
i thought i was protecting you.
i do care about you. you're my best friend.
something about war buddies ties people together forever.
there's always at least an ounce of truth in storytelling.
sometimes i think you've seen more than you've told me.
i can't imagine leaving without you.
you truly can be such a raincloud.
i got used to it. i didn't know anything else.
i don't mean to lay a bunch of heavy stuff on you.
sometimes the answers are not the ones you want to hear.
sometimes you have to decide if you want truth or peace.
i can't believe we're having a conversation about this.
what's happening to me?
i'm not sure i'd be able to teach you, but i can try.
i don't mind listening. listening is easy.
i'm sure you'll find the right home, in the end.
sometimes not knowing your own story is the most damaging thing of all.
i once had to be quiet to survive.
i thought i told you i didn't want to see you again.
you sure can't catch a break, can you?
i never knew how to ask.
you're too mean to let anything keep you down for too long.
nobody deserves to die alone.
you've used me up.
do you think i love ____ more than i love you?
i do love you. i always will. but we have to accept the hands we're dealt.
when i was young, i wanted nothing more than to get as far away from here as i could get.
AND I'M FEELING LIKE A VILLAIN, GOT A HUNGER INSIDE .. ONE LOOK IN MY EYES .. AND YOU'RE RUNNING CAUSE I'M COMING .. — a plot-driven tess from tlou by bri.
i cannot stress enough how important it is to write at your own pace. to give your mind and spirit room to breathe, to process your creativity and allow it to come organically to you. goals and discipline are a good and necessary part of any hobby, especially writing, but so is rest. rest prevents burn out. and if you push yourself until you burn out you will wind up taking even longer to complete projects or meet goals. even if you are already burnt out that's okay. this is your sign to give yourself the grace to take breaks. your story, your muses, your brilliant ideas will be waiting for you to pick them up with proper enthusiasm when you're ready.
i genuinely don’t know if i want to watch s3 of yj
#i hope bri reads this too<3
bri did in fact read it and now i am also ILLLLLL
click the heart for a starter from jordan semyon <3 if ur a multi, please specify a character