jusqu'ici

philosophy enthusiast and an all round mess.

[toodrunktofindaurl]

fighting for her life, as usual

twitter | bluesky | insta | 🔞 pa/treon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Genuine question why the fuck is February only allowed have 28 days? why can't we just give it one of January's and March's extras and even the score to 30. what fucklehead is responsible for this conniving calendar thievery

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

well shit we really did just let the romans get away with any ole thing huh

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

a witch and the princess she "kidnapped" will be living their best lives in their tastefully decorated tower complete with courtyard for their beloved pet dragon when suddenly Prince Compulsive Heterosexuality bursts in on his noble steed Property Damage

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#wielding his enchanted sword Complete Failure To Read The Room

anyway that scene from sleeping beauty where the Prince is hacking at the writhing wall of thorns, but the wicked sorceress is screaming at him from the window because hey YOU ARE DESTROYING MY WIFE'S PRIZE-WINNING MAGIC THORNERY AND interrupting her nap??? you utter knave of a nutsack

[nat-20s]

just thought of a fun new comics OC named Stella the Postal Worker. She is a completely normal human woman who just happens to do insane things on the regular in order to get superheros their mail. She broke into the fortress of solitude to make sure superman knew he had jury duty but now she has a key 💖

[nat-20s]

stella rides with Impulse to tell flash to just pay the 20 bucks he owes to the library. Stella has a grappling hook so she can shove off a bag of fan/hate mail to batman and when he's like. dare I ask how much of it is...explicit she's like. dude I don't read your mail, man. that's your job. While they're both suspended 1000 feet over Gotham

[nat-20s]

she does not know any of their secret identities she is determined to get mail specifically assigned to the super persona. occasionally one of them tries to just tell her their actual home address and she's like NO. you will NOT add to my workload I am hiring a submarine to deliver to Aquaman not joe schmoe!!

[nat-20s]

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor alien invasion nor batarang nor time travel will stay THIS courier

[hellish-daddi]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

give me a nice thought

[cletusthurstonbeauregard]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

bitch I’ll live to WRITE it

[pinkradioheart]

[penny-anna]

the current twitter discourse du jour is cervical smear tests for some reason and here is my take: there absolutely is a widespread assumption that if you have a vagina and are over a certain age you'll be habituated to vaginal penetration and this is self-evidently heteronormative and sexist and im honestly amazed that more people don't seem to register it fdkjghfdjk

[penny-anna]

it's not just an issue w smear tests. was investigated for PCOS not too long ago and when i was referred for an ultrasound absolutely nobody thought to mention that it would be a transvaginal ultrasound. if i hadn't happened to do my own research i would literally have found out on the day of the appointment?? i remain baffled by this

[penny-anna]

anyway a lot of people on twitter responding to 'actually smear tests are painful for some people' with 'oh well I suppose if you have some kind of medical condition it might be painful' and it's well the thing is people with medical conditions exist in real life

[penny-anna]

oh the other one is 'well the nurse will be super nice and will make sure you're comfortable and will switch to a smaller speculum if necessary' and i'm like you must know that isn't true. like c'mon. even if all your cervical smear experiences have been positive you must be conscious of the fact that some medical practitioners are assholes about stuff like this. a more helpful statement might be 'your nurse should make sure you're comfortable and if they don't then you don't have to put up with it'.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and yet

[twinkiefairy]

I love this because if I were to write a literary novel in the Western cannon that described the image of an apple with a chunk bitten off, any high school English student would tell you it is a Bible reference meant to represent the source of all evil and downfall of humanity and YET 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[rinasaurusrex]

mira my beloved

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[corporationsarepeople]

[gabriestat]

this is the first tweet to make me laugh in a long while. real

[strangesmallbard]

one year later and agatha all along was truly sooo fucking good. what if you fought death forever but she loved you? what if you adopted your ex situationship’s son and started healing from your own dead son trauma against your will through the power of antagonistic friendship? what if you broke your own curse through the power of a 70’s cover band and a mother’s love for her daughter? what if patti lupone was there

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"save to onedrive" lol no

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"search web results with bing?" oh you wretched little tarpit i cannot overexpress how much that will not be happening

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"make microsoft edge your default browser" buddy you're hitting so far out of your league it's insulting. did your drunken comrades cheer you on to walk over here and pester me? to bother me like a horsefly attempting to perturb the majesty of an elephant? i swat you with a flick of my tail. with a FLICK!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Microsoft is the drunken asshole who won't take a hint. Apple is the insanely controlling, love-bombing Ex you went through a grueling divorce to extricate yourself from (and they won all your mutual friends in the breakup). And now Google is the toxic partner you thought was The One, but then they enthusiastically got redpilled and have been escalating their manipulative behaviors. You finally break through the gaslighting enough to try to leave, only to find they're so entangled in your life you may need to take out a restraining order just to catch your breath. And meanwhile all your friends and family are talking about how great they are and how lucky you are to have them...

[hungrymilliek]

And! And. uBlock Origin.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the irony is uBlock Origin is my bestie, my childhood friend, my ride or die, my little monkey, the most devoted companion i have in all the world....and i so take for granted their constant presence by my side that i completely forgot there are people who aren't aware of them. uBlock Origin dance with me under the pale moonlight my beloved

[thegirlnextdoor1]

maybe you aren't seeing how far you've come because you keep raising the bar?

you're doing amazing sweetie, have faith in yourself.