Buenos dias, cockbites

Agent Texas A rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements. Just hired to do mean things, but it's important to enjoy what you do. The leaderboard doesn't count for shit. This is a closed Mother of Invention RP account MISSION STATUS: Active

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

Pretty neat how keeping busy keeps ya at the top. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

whosthemonsternow:

North’s as fun as a wet blanket, this is pretty much common knowledge around everywhere.

Boring, but fine. I guess that’d be okay. But I want a literal 24 hours of using you, then! For whatever I want. Paperwork, clean up my armor, whatever I want when I win. I’d argue there’s no way I’m saying I’m the ‘ugly twin’ ever- but I’m not going to be risking it anyways. I’m not the one going to lose.  

Sure thing, stud. I’ll be yours for a whole day, in the very unlikely chance you win. And don’t worry, I’ll make up a name tag for you to wear so everyone can know your attractive twin status. 

Make sure to keep on your toes. Paperwork tends to go through a little faster when I submit it and I wouldn’t want you off to a bad start considering you’re already gonna be so handicapped. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

whosthemonsternow:

North’s boring as hell, I’m both the fun and the attractive twin. Just so you remember next time.

Alright, that sounds fine enough I guess. Not sure what I want when I wen though, what do you got to offer? Got any decent alcohol smuggled on the ship or anything worthwhile? When I don’t lose, you can miss out on, I don’t know, free dinner? Which is going to suck for you because I can make a couple of amazing dinners that you’ll be missing out on. 

It’s yet to be determined whether or not your fun, we’ll have to wait for the mission to verify that. 

I don’t...have a lot of stuff. So how about in the unlikely event that you somehow do better than me, I’ll do whatever bullshit job you don’t want. That way I’m “kept busy” while you get to do whatever it is you do all day that’s oh so very important. One time offer, can be saved for a rainy day. When I win, you refer to yourself as the ugly twin officially, because this kinda shit is only fun if it’s petty and a little childish. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

whosthemonsternow:

I’m entirely sure the Director pays all our bills but okay. 

Hey fucker, I’m not the slow one here, first off. Secondly, I’m definitely the hot twin, probably hottest person on this ship, hell, even this quadrant! And- if you really need the help on a mission Tex, all you gotta do is put in the paperwork. Can’t promise I’ll put my neck on the line to hep you but, the mission’ll get done one way or another. 

Well, you’re definitely more confrontational than your brother, so I guess that counts for something. 

I’ll put in the paperwork if you’re willing to make it a friendly little competition. Nothing that’d get anyone in trouble, just a ladylike wager. I know the Director has a few smash and grabs he needs done involving important tech in the wrong hands. Simple stuff even you could handle, get to the objective first and bring it home safely. I’ll even let you set the stakes. Win whatever you want, lose whatever you want. That way you don’t even have to worry about anyone’s ass but your own. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

whosthemonsternow replied to your post:whosthemonsternow replied to your...

I’m pretty sure you’re never around because you’re “kept busy” and you need the extra time to even finish your job to begin with. And I’m half sure you’re hitting on me there, pretty sure the Director would frown on that.

Keeping busy pays the bills or whatever. Maybe I’ll let you tag along next time I’m in the field, show you how it’s done. Though I’d definitely need extra time to make sure your slow ass keeps up. And don’t flatter yourself, sweetie. You’re not the hot twin.

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

thatguywasadick replied to your post:thatguywasadick replied to your post:Will we also...

How is liking chore wheels stupid? You sound like you’ve never been on a chore wheel before.

Well, talking to you is a bit of a chore. Does that count?

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

thatguywasadick replied to your post:Will we also be receiving gold stars based on...

I like chore wheels.

I don’t even know what to say to this. It’s too stupid. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

comeoncarolina replied to your post:Will we also be receiving gold stars based on...

Part of being a good soldier is following all the regulations. Not all of us need reminders to keep our quarters up to snuff. You could add cleaning up your attitude to your chore wheel while you’re at it.

I wouldn’t worry so much about cleaning up my attitude when you’ve still got some shit on your nose from all your ass kissing.

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

whosthemonsternow replied to your post:whosthemonsternow replied to your post:Will we...

You say I’m “kinky” and you’re the one talking about muzzling a person. And fuck you, my figure’s perfect. Some of us actually do our training, not “keeping busy” with the Director.

You ever consider I’m never around because I actually do my damn job? Like, sorry you’re so ineffectual that you constantly have to be training. I’m actually good at what I do, so I don’t have to waste my time.

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

whosthemonsternow replied to your post:Will we also be receiving gold stars based on...

He let you off your leash? Amazing.

Kinky, South, but the Director just likes to keep me busy. We can’t all be sitting around on our asses getting your fine watermelon figure. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

Will we also be receiving gold stars based on performance or is it solely leaderboard based? Also, when will we be implementing a ship wide chore wheel? Do we get bonus points for keeping our rooms neat and tidy and making our beds every morning? 

[thecoyotestate]

Mm, if anything, should have been surprised I’d actually give into her begging for me to marry her. /Gives her a little elbowing to the side/ Mostly teasing you, but if you did need backup, got Wash out of a hot situation the other day- literally, crazy pyro chick tried to cook him alive.

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

Wash over his head in a situation? Well that's unheard of. Sounds like you guys have managed to have a good time without me, though. That's good, I guess.

[thecoyotestate]

Well yeah, wouldn’t be married to Carolina if I wasn’t the best, you know, kinda a requirement. /Squints at her again, humming and shrugging/ Yeah, well if you need help next time, can call on me for help, if I’m not busy, I can help you. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

Huh, woulda figured the only person good enough for Carolina would be herself. /frowns at the proposition/ Uh, sure, I guess. Never hurts to have a second set of hands, I suppose.

[thecoyotestate]

I don’t know, pretty weird still, but then again, not everyone can be as great as me so, not too surprised /She snorts, shaking her head/ Yeah, uh-huh, you sure it’s not gonna be another difficult mission? 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

Yeah, South. You're definitely the standard everyone on the ship works towards. No guarantees. I don't really get to decide my missions all that much. I don't plan on having them ever be difficult for me ever again. 

[thecoyotestate]

Difficult job for you? Really Tex? I’m surprised, wow, musta been some job. /Just  gives another cheeky grin at the roll of her eyes/ Yeah you better, asshole, won’t give you a third chance. 

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

All right, all right, simmer down there champ. I'm only human, right? I'm allowed difficult missions once every lifetime. /crosses her arms but smiles anyways/ Two strikes already? That's fine I work better under pressure anyways.

[thecoyotestate]

Dude, no, this was longer than normal, kinda hoped you died- oh I mean, thought you died, not hoped, gotta wait until news about the lightsabers before that /Gives a grin and shakes her head/ No way, you still gotta get me that drink before you can do any pinching.

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

Yeah, well this job was a little more difficult than anticipated. We hadn't really planned for...contingencies and things got complicated. But I pulled through like always, even if it did take me longer than it should have. /rolls her eyes/ Well now that I'm back, I'll make sure to find the time for that drink. 

[thecoyotestate]

Just trying to decide if you’re really here or not, first you’re gone forever, then you come back all happy holiday folks, kinda weird. /Proceeds to poke at her face/

[everythingisbiggerhere-blog]

What can I say? I thought everyone knew by now that I'm the Director's precious little pet. I get all the really fancy secret missions where I get to disappear forever. /frowns at face poking/ You want me to pinch you so you know you're not dreaming?