Everything's Not Lost

[mistersingle]

[bricesander]

If Kris Jenner Quotes Were Motivational Posters

[vikingfighter-deactivated201909]

When someone uses an abbreviation and I have to look it up

[foreveralone-lyguy]

Make sure you take notes this is going to be on the final

[saalvaje]

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

knew it

[ejaculot-deactivated20140601]

[anotherbritishboy]

Welcome back

[consider-this-global-abortion]

[tickle-me-jacob]

I seriously almost just woke up the entire house.

[pyropotter]

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

[paigecorrina-blog]

Did Ernest Hemingway write this post

[cocaineteas]

[kingsleyyy-deactivated20160914]

Why is the blonde bitch just standing in the window weeping? Like bitch, that’s your child. Are you stuck to the fucking floor? Are you allergic to air? How are you just gonna let this bitch stick your damn baby on the BBQ grill like a fucking beef sausage link as you watch through the window? You’re a stupid bitch. You clearly don’t want your child and are giving an Oscar worthy performance just in case the neighbors are watching. I hope she makes you eat your charcoaled baby on a sesame seed bun.

[methhomework]

me as a laywer

me: so you took a shower and then you heard the gun shot

witness: yes

me as a lawyer: isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate

witness: i’m bald

[crebitordedit]

[iwishihadafather]

[saiasus]

[popgoth]

Me

[illinoisbysufjanstevens]

remember those boys in middle school whose digital watches would always go off in class … what were the alarms for … why did they never learn how to turn off the alarms

[burrowedfoxes]

[sweet-bitsy]

Who IS Princess Zorldo

[captincannabiscrunch-blog]

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

this is the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life

[tropius2-deactivated20160313]

wheres the vine of the news reporter asking a dog a question and then putting the mic to his snout and then the dog makes sniffing noises

[funnyfecker]

[tropius2-deactivated20160313]

thank you