m welcomes U! @everythingseasoningtalks - Tumblr Blog

now I ask for MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE!

#empowerment #unfortunately I think I need to ask for less and less and less and less with the right people #this is me being vulnerable

Oh my god maybe I finally fucking matched with somebody thoughtful…

#me when Rafayel

Not drop dead gorgeous but good looking and cute, and I guess that’ll have to be enough sigh

#I finally am better understanding how the world sees me #been putting things together since middle/high school

everythingseasoning

I hate HATE HATE HATE MEN WHAT THE FUCK

everythingseasoningtalks

Some of them are so horrible because tell me why he wrote “I’m almost there” on something about tenderness

You’re ruining something good you fucker

oh god make it stop … my anxious avoidant attachment and also demisexual orientation is flaring up HARD.

I recoil if it’s too fast. Me and my homies are the same way. Like you don’t KNOW me. Stop it. Do you even see my inner world. Do you see me as a complex human.

being obsessive and driven crazy by ambiguity

#a fucking theme huh #this needs to be unpacked #because it started from a very very deep wound and now I use it as proof of lovability #and it permeates how I approach other relationships #(would you choose Me? am I good enough for you? maybe if I just analyze how you view me— and change— then I can be loved)#m talks #<- alluding to me and them

There’s a hole in my heart for people and animals and also anime

#I miss being warm

There’s something deeply fucking humiliating about swiping right or left to find human connection, and the idea that somebody is doing that to you … like what have I been reduced to … and years ago on BFF mode I learned that most people DISAPPOINTINGLY aren’t actually curious about me in the way I wanna read into who they are. (That surprised me. Like oh! What the hell. You have the brain depth of a fucking puddle re: other peoples’ inner worlds. —I thought we’d connect...) Also I’m terrified people will recognize me irl. Like oh. God. No. Please. No. Hellll no.

#m talks

my ding dong dumb dumb butt matched with a bald 34 year old white man. ew

“looking forward to meeting you” hah as if.

#ew #I’m too young I’m still too young for this #not naive and sweet and vulnerable like I was at 19 but still #I have gained more knowledge to say fuck those older perverted men and I wanna pass the torch down to the other babes out there #the torch being: don’t do it my loves #precious deserving babes

The crazy thing is that people don’t realize the cost of care.

Good and caring people don’t offer it to be praised or to have it reciprocated.

But it does hurt when others who receive it don’t actually appreciate it and the effort/energy/time it takes.

And what it says about the person giving that care.

#m talks