昨夜遅く、木花庵にて、白い猫１匹が、器物破損・建造物破壊・脱走の罪で拘束されました。同猫は、最近脱走の犯行予告を行っていたことから、監視対象となりソフトカラーを装着されていましたが、驚くべきことに、その「食パン」を装着したまま風呂場の網戸を破壊して逃走し、2.5hにも上る夜の散歩を楽しんだとのことです。調べによると、犯猫は終始「春だから」と述べるに留まっており、反省の色が見えないことから、速やかにへんがおの刑が執行されました。また、被害者は、網戸が修復不可能な被害を受けたことから、今後夏に向かうにつれ、快適な入浴環境が損なわれるとし、犯猫に対し継続的な補償を求めていく希望があるとのことです。
なお、本件に関しては、黒い猫１匹が犯猫幇助の疑いにより、現在取り調べを受けているとのことです。
Late last night at Konohana-an, one white perpetrator was taken into custody on charges of property damage, destruction of private infrastructure, and escape.
The perpetrator had recently made a public declaration of intent to flee and was placed under surveillance, fitted with a soft collar in the shape of a slice of bread.
Amazingly, while still wearing the “bread,” the perpetrator destroyed the bathroom screen door and escaped, reportedly enjoying a nighttime stroll that lasted approximately 2.5 hours.
During questioning, the perpetrator repeatedly stated, “Because it’s spring,” and showed no signs of remorse.
Accordingly, the punishment of “funny face penalty” was swiftly executed without trial.
The victim, the screen door, is reported to have suffered irreparable damage. With summer approaching, concerns have been raised that bathing comfort will be compromised. The household has expressed intent to seek ongoing compensation from the perpetrator.
In connection with the case, one black accomplice is currently under investigation on suspicion of aiding and abetting the escape.
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