Words | Key & Himchan
Even though being on a ship hadn’t been something completely new to Himchan - not at all -, being on a rusty old freighter which was on the verge of breaking in half definitely had been another new experience in his life since he got to join the circus. And he honestly was glad that this trip was finally over; cause it surely was worse than the whole moving in trucks thing. At least that was his opinion.
Now they had arrived on the home island just a few days ago, and things already seemed to be calming down slowly. Not only for Himchan; everything around him as well.
The blonde - who seriously needed a new hair dye; the dark hairline revealing his actual hair color more than just a little by now - pushed his hands inside his pants pockets then, walking along the shore with slow steps while his gaze was focused on the ground in front of him.
Recently, doubts had been popping up in his mind again and every time that happened, he simply just wanted to slap himself. Even though after three months he still didn’t have many friends here and even though not everything went 100 % perfect all the time, he had noticed a change in himself - and he was sure that he had found a place that was worth calling a “home". Whether he was able to consider it a “new family" or not yet - it was more of a family already than his parents had ever been able to be.
He kicked a stone out of the way and let out an audible sigh, as he then suddenly stopped in his tracks when he spotted a familiar person sitting in front of the water, not even that far away from him. Was this who he thought it was? Was this who had seemed to avoid him at all cost for the past month?
A second look told him yes, he was, and Himchan swallowed hard while a hand nervously ran through his hair, inwardly fighting with himself whether he should approach the other or not. He hadn’t even finished his thought yet when his feet already took him in his direction though.
He couldn’t just walk away now, he knew that. Not only because the other might have noticed him already by now anyway; also because he really wanted to talk this out.
His mouth got dryer the closer he got and he took a deep breath before he took his last bits of courage to actually sit down next to the younger male, shooting a quick glance.
"Hey."
Himchan’s voice sounded hoarse and he cleared his throat, embarrassed that his voice had almost cracked even though it was just this one word he had managed to force out.
"Hey" he tried again; successfully this time. He looked over at the other from the corner of his eye and pursed his lips slightly, at a loss for words. Sometimes he really wished that life was just as easy as a movie. “I’m really sorry about last time." Okay, yeah, what exactly was he thinking when he walked up here in the first place? He honestly had enough time thinking about what to say, and this was all that he could come up with now.
It was the truth though, and he hoped that Key wouldn’t misunderstand. All of this was just so… foreign? Probably for both of them. And it hurt him just as much as it must hurt the other.
The remnants of the sunlight made for a not all too cold afternoon and the blonde fox faced boy had decided to spend the remainder of it not doing much of anything really. Resting on his elbows, half propped up, Kibum observed the sea through his lashes until his eyes finally fluttered shut. The sound of the waves breaking truly was a calming one. There was a breeze, he noticed then without visuals to distract him, but it was light and hardly cooling. It was pleasant though, the entire atmosphere enough to paint a soft smile on the fox’s face.
After a particularly heavy lunch, courtesy of one Kim Jonghyun, Key had made do with a simple dinner and was now merely resting. If anything this vacation was proving to be rather relaxing. As it should be.
With the closing of his eyes a sense of serenity washed through him has he was momentarily saved from the bustling and overpower sense of life that made the circus what it was.
Unfortunately his enhanced ears were not exempt and so he heard him coming from a while off. At first it could’ve been anyone, of course, but by the time he would have been within seeing distance there was no doubt about it. He had a certain way of walking and their recent meeting had jogged the memory of it. It was a fox thing, Kibum decided, he wasn’t actually that creepy.
Still, for the other’s sake he pretended to at least be a little surprised as Himchan eventually made his presence known. He owed him that much. There had been no stop in the near music the waves were producing, obviously, and it’s soft sloshing somehow made the elder’s greeting sound just that much more raw. Kibum’s mouth twitched and the smile disappeared, not altogether voluntarily just as Himchan uttered his second attempt.
Looking at him, as they were now sitting next to each other, instead of where his eyes were previously fixed on the sea, Key tilted his head a little.
Himchan had actually come to apologize to him. Huh. He hadn't actually expected that.
“You’re…sorry?” by now the surprise was one hundred percent genuine and it almost gave his tone some kind of fringe of offence though where that came from Kibum couldn’t say. It was solely surprise, that what he felt, and that what coloured his features.
Last time.
Just the mention of their previous encounter brought back emotions that were all too real. He’d been quite angry. Upset. A small crease in his brow betrayed his reflections and he cleared his throat softly.
“I’m..” he began, “I’m sorry, too. “ Yep, that’s right. Kim Kibum was apologizing. Best not get used to it.
His eyes searching for a reaction, or anything on the other’s face the blonde continued. “For..you know.. kissing you. I- It just. It made sense? Then, I mean. But..I totally. I mean, I understand- I should not have done that. So, yeah I’m sorry too.”
That wasn’t that hard, now was it?
He didn't feel relieved though, not like he’d expected. If anything he kind of felt like an idiot. This was..this was a whole lot more awkward than he could’ve imagined.
“So..that’s what you wanted to hear right? Why you came? Can I suggest you leave me alone now, Himchan?” The words came out a lot sharper than he’d intended but he guessed they’d serve their purpose well anyway. A sudden, unpleasant feeling of shame had gotten the better of him all of a sudden and he just wanted Himchan to leave.
The resolution of trying to at least be civil conveniently forgotten Key had turned snappy again and shifted his gaze back to the waves.
