OOC; Important
Read More

#extradirty
Fai_Ryy
Show & Tell
No title available
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
𓃗

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

Jimmy Eat World

oozey mess

izzy's playlists!
d e v o n

bliss lane
Sade Olutola
hello vonnie

blake kathryn
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Keni
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Spain
seen from Kenya
seen from Thailand

seen from Costa Rica
seen from Ecuador
seen from Croatia
seen from Colombia

seen from United States
seen from Senegal
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from United States
@ex-cirque-kyuhyun
OOC; Important
Read More
Confession || Kyuhyun X Donghae
Donghae had taken to getting out of his tent more often. More often than not, however, he had found himself turning quickly to make sure that he didn’t run into Kyuhyun. It wasn’t a secret that he and Bom had gone on a date, and it wasn’t a secret that it had gone well. Everyone had finally started talking to him again since he had stopped drinking, although some of them still scolded him for smoking. Something inside of him didn’t allow him to stop – he knew that it upset Kyuhyun, and he was so upset with the other, that he felt like the other should be upset with him. It was only fair, right?
Donghae hit a new pack of cigarettes against the back of his hand, packing the tobacco perfectly so that the cigarette would burn longer and not be so light. He idly unwrapped the package and pulled out the foil, stuffing all of it into his pocket so that he could throw it away later. He pulled a cigarette out and fumbled through his pockets, looking for a light. However, he stopped in his tracks when he heard the piano.
He had always been attracted to music. Although his father had told him that anything musical was for women and that men shouldn’t be part of it, it didn’t keep him from listening to it. The melody of the piano was sad, like whoever was playing was hurting deeply. He frowned, the cigarette dangling from his lips as he moved forward, searching for the tent that the piano was coming from. He lit the cigarette just as he got to the tent, not exactly caring if the person inside disliked his smoking habits.
When he pushed aside the door flap, however, his eyes widened and he stood still, shocked to see Kyuhyun playing the piano. And singing? He stood there, mesmerized by the sight. What had happened to upset the other so much? Had his buddies from the bonfire finally broken things off with him? He felt his heart beat as the other sang, watched as the beautiful hands flowed across the piano. “You’re such an idiot..” He managed to choke out, softly but still audible. Why couldn’t Kyuhyun be upset over him?
“Kyuhyun…” He said in a voice that the other should have been able to hear… “Kyuhyun, I love you.” He couldn’t hold it back any longer. He felt tears spill down his face. He could cancel with Bom, he could explain everything to her. He just needed the other to respond to him, to tell him that he felt the same way. His heart beat heavily in his chest but a feeling of sadness washed over him. He had just told Kyuhyun his biggest secret without even thinking about it. What would happen if the other responded negatively?
He would break. Donghae would finally fall into several pieces. The death that he had been contemplating would be the only way out. He couldn’t leave, he had nowhere else to go. He had dropped everything to be here with Kyuhyun. He wanted to feel Kyuhyun’s lips against his, to know what it was like to be held as a lover instead of just a friend. He wanted to be the only one that Kyuhyun wanted, the only one that he needed. But what if that fantasy was shattered, thrust into a world of darkness, never to return? His hand clutched at his heart, but he stood still. There were only two ways that this could go, and he was ready for either one.
“Kyuhyun … Kyuhyun, I love you.”
The music stopped and Kyuhyun let out a shrill, bitter laugh as his arm draped over his face. Of course his mind was playing tricks on him now. That perfect voice, saying the words he spent his entire life longing to hear. He fucking hated his imagination. Blood welled from his lip when his teeth decided to finally let it go and he felt a shudder snake up his spine. Digging the heels of his palms into his eyes, he tried to shove the tears back inside. He didn’t cry. He got drunk and fucked his problems. Never cried.
“I love you too you fucking bastard.” Kyuhyun whispered as he started playing again. Those words were too easy to say to no one. It meant nothing when the person you so desperately wanted to scream them at can’t hear you. That was probably the one thing he hadn’t tried yet. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he’d follow Donghae and actually yell the confession over and over again until he lost his voice. Then, maybe, he would be heard. That would never happen. No amount of alcohol in the world could give him the courage to do that.
Instead, he was stuck with soft whispered declarations that fell on deaf ears. He had actually confessed once, years ago. When Donghae was sleeping in his arms, he couldn’t remember who snuck into whose bed. It had just slipped out when he tucked strands of hair behind the other’s ears. Kyuhyun thought he was going to die if Donghae opened his eyes, but they never did. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.
The blare of a missed key struck his ears and Kyuhyun stopped playing the piano altogether. He still sang, letting his voice waver and shake. “Gieokhae dareun saram manna-“ The words stuck in his throat. No matter how many times he told himself that he could do it, the only noise he made was a choked back sob. So he stopped, stared at the piano keys, his empty hands, wondering about all the what ifs.
What if he just kissed him? The next time he saw him, just grab Donghae’s collar, spin him around and forget about the rest of the world for a second. Kyuhyun sniffed and scowled. Smoke? His head turned and he wanted to turn to shatter. Eyes wide, jaw slack, he just stared at Donghae froze. All the what ifs vanished and he was stuck with the violent, raw, pulse in his chest that threatened to swallow him whole. His throat croaked, snapping his mind back into his body.
“Hi.”
Hair Trouble | Bom & Kyuhyun
Waiting for the male to come near her, Bom kept her gentle and half assuring smile present on her face. Not that it took her any effort, though, because she really was just glad that she could help this man out. Looking at his face when the man finally looked up at her, she nodded lightly when he stated that this would be a good place. Narrowing her eyes lightly she looked at his hair in a rather pensive way. Humming softly she thought about all the possible things she could do with his hair. Not once thinking about how his hair had ended up in that pretty weird way. He definitely had to be one of those trend-setters.
Bom found it somewhat frustrating that the man didn’t give her any direction. She really didn’t want to mess his hair up and if maybe she would cut it too short to his liking he could become angry at her or something like that and that was the last she wanted and needed right now. But anyway, she’d deal with that once it had come that far. Looking back at his face when he asked her if he needed to sit down, she breathed out a soft chuckle. “Yes, that would come in handy, yes. I can’t really make myself bigger or levitate myself like Harry Potter can.” Trying to be a bit funny with that Bom also tried to somewhat break the ice between them. Even though she rolled her eyes at herself the moment the man turned away from her so he could sit down in the snow. Finding her own attempt to be funny always a bit of a fail when she was around strangers.
Taking a step back so she could give him enough space to sit down, she then went to stand right behind him. Reaching out with her free hand, so she could put it on top of his head and go through his hair, the male turned his head to her. Not having expected this, she immediately pulled her hand back as she blinked in surprise at him. Although the next moment a warm smile graced her face. “Oh… Oh, then I remembered it correctly. It’s nice to meet you, Kyuhyun-ssi.” She stated as Kyuhyun turned his head back to the front. Looking back at his hair next, she finally did put her hand on his head as she first went a bit through it. Finding that it was hard to inspect his hair with one hand, she hummed “I have brought a mirror with me. If you’d like to see what I’m doing, I’ve put it at your right side.” Leaning a bit over to the right as she told him that, Bom placed the round mirror at Kyuhyun’s right side. “I think you sometimes need to lift the mirror up for me too.” She added as she straightened up next. Putting the scissors in the pocket of her jeans she then went with both her hands through his hair. Seeing where the short parts were and then forming an image in her mind of how she wanted his hair to look like. Treating him as gently as she could of course, because she sure knew how much pain you could cause someone when you pulled a bit too hard at their hair.
It was but a couple of moments later that Bom took the scissors again out of her pocket. “Okay, I’ll start now.” She announced with a soft smile before she took hold of some strands of hair at the back of his head and started to cut his hair. Her expression now being serious since she concentrated herself on her job while she sometimes wiped away a couple of long strands that had fallen on his back or his shoulders. Working in silence for a little while, Bom had moved over to the left side of his head after she had finished with the back for now. “I bet it will feel so much better after the haircut. But it probably will feel cold too.” Telling him that, another thought came to mind. “Oh, by the way, if you’re too cold just tell me. I don’t want you to freeze your butt off in the time it takes me to cut your hair.” Pressing her lips together, her eyes widened slightly for a moment because she hadn’t used a very formal or polite way of speaking. But oh well, it had happened anyway.
Fingertip dragged into the snow again, cutting open the crisp layer so he could doodle random lines in an attempt to emulate his inner Donghae. If he could remember how to laugh, he would’ve. He knew he didn’t have an inner Donghae; he just wanted to pretend he was half as amazing. Half as strong, half as kind. Kyuhyun’s fist crushed his drawing as he wiped it away.
Eyes flicked over to the mirror beside him, his fingers gingerly curled around it; a grimace formed as he felt the cold metal sting against his skin. Hesitant, he held the mirror and avoided looking at it. He didn’t want to see himself, see the effects of losing his heart, just yet. The fact that he knew he looked like a broken man was enough. He liked the façade of being gathered too much to let it all go.
Bom’s voice anchored him back into reality, without realizing it; he started purring softly as she played with his hair. Kyuhyun felt his eyes flutter shut so he let himself enjoy the moment. For a second he toyed with the idea that she was petting him right now, but it felt too dehumanizing. People petted things that they liked anyway.
“I’m fine.” The cold didn’t faze him, “I’ll just be glad to not look like someone attacked me with garden shears.” Holding the mirror up, he angled it away from his face, trying to be somewhat helpful. His purring had subsided as soon as the scissors came out; tiny fear of blades chased it away. “I never caught you name.” Growing wary of an awkward silence, Kyuhyun forced himself to socialize. Not that she was a pain to be around, so far he found her to be rather pleasant company. He might even dare to call her sweet.
Confession || Kyuhyun X Donghae
Yoogeun was nowhere to be found.
Panic was an understatement for just how terrified Kyuhyun was. Sprinting through the tents, practically running into everyone and everything; he almost started screaming for the boy before he caught his scent. Closing his eyes, he ignored the murmurs of the people around him as he let his stripes grow, increasing his senses. Inhaling deeply, he let out a sigh, smelling Fei as well.
As his eyes opened, he laughed lightly, trying to get over how scared he had been. It was stupid of him not to realize that Yoogeun did have other people in his life that he’d spend time with. He was probably playing with the wolves or asking Fei if she knew any dinosaurs. “Dumb kid.” Kyuhyun muttered before freezing on the spot.
Brushing the flap of a tent away, he blinked blankly at the sight of a piano. Immediately drawn to it, he let his fingers tap at a few keys. It had been so long since he last played. Without realizing it, Kyuhyun was sitting on the bench with his hands hovering over the keys. Clearing his throat, he idly played a few melodies, trying to remember any songs he could. One naturally started flowing and he quietly sang the lyrics. Memories were stirred, his voice rising as his eyes fluttered closed.
“Ni saenggake nan himdeulgon hae” It hit him that he was singing to Donghae, despite actively trying to avoid thinking about him; which wasn’t that surprising really, everything was about Donghae somehow. There were times he was holding Yoogeun, fiddling with the boy’s curly hair and humming him softly to sleep and Kyuhyun was stuck remembering the countless times he held Hae the same way. The way they felt together, where his arms just seemed to fit perfectly against him, the softness of his hair, the scent of his shampoo, everything about Hae was engraved into his mind. Etched in his being so well that forgetting him was like ripping out an organ.
“Meoreojigi jeone” A tear slipped out and he paused to wipe his face. With a sigh, he started playing again. He had been trying to ignore the hole in his chest. The one that only ripped open when he was away from Hae. For the few weeks he had him, it had disappeared. He felt so raw, so empty, even around Yoogeun. The pain hadn’t been this bad. Before, it was just a nagging reminder of what he was without, but now it hurt to breathe. Every fleeting glance of Donghae in crowds or in the dining tent made him want to shatter. Being so close and so impossibly far was nothing but pure agony.
“Naega neoui gyeote jamsi saratdaneun geol” He thought he had a home again when he found Hae in the snow. The only thing keeping him here was Yoogeun. Even then, the boy commented on how sad he was. Appa carries too much. More tears spilled from him, but he was too lost in his head to notice. He didn’t want this anymore. All the unsaid words were weighing him down, and this time he knew there was no hope he would ever be able to say them. Every “I love you” he had bitten his tongue to stop from admitting made a crack in him. Now he was just pieces, barely held together with a child's hands.
Changing Too Fast || Solo
“Kyuhyun-Appa! How come you don’t look like a tiger?” “I have stripes, you know that.” “But tigers are orange, Appa! You’re brown.”
It had taken him a second to get that Yoogeun was talking about his hair; all he could do was laugh and fiddle with his bangs.
“Guess I’m not a very tiger-like tiger then.” “Kyuhyun-Appa is the only tiger I like.”
Picking the boy up, Kyuhyun- WACK.
“Yah, Boy, don’t be falling asleep in my chair.”
Blearily, Kyuhyun lifted his head and raised his eyebrows at the lady. He supposed it was a bad idea to piss off the person who was bleaching your hair, so he was oddly polite to her.
“Sorry, ahjumma.” “Noona.” “Sorry, Noona.”
She was like fifty, obviously not a noona but whatever. He wasn’t about to give her an excuse to make his hair blue or something. Heaven forbid she actually made him blond, he wasn’t ready for that much of a change. If Yoogeun hadn’t said anything, Kyuhyun probably would’ve gone his whole life with his natural brown hair.
He wasn’t like Donghae. He didn’t get the point in having to celebrate everything by making your head a different colour. It didn’t stop him from suggesting a few different cuts in the past, but he’d never consider it for himself.
Without realizing it, his eyes were drifting closed again as he thought of Hae. Their old apartment formed in his head and he smiled slightly. He could even bring back the smell of cooking despite his nose stinging from the bleach and toner. The blurry photos that he insisted belonged in frames, not because they were of anything special, but Hae had taken them and that’s all that mattered. He was pretty sure one of them was his butt.
Another slap jerked him awake. Glaring, he followed the old lady to get his hair washed and listened to her complain about her previous customers. Her voice was grating and shrill, but at least she gave good head massages. Kyuhyun kept his eyes open to not fall asleep again.
“Young people, always the same. Had another boy, handsome thing, come in get his hair completely blond. Such a shame, his hair was so long. Thought he was a girl when he first walked in.” “Really?” The more she talked the more she kept him awake, so he obliged her. “Dumb name though, probably the only reason I remember it. Who names their kid after the ocean?” “That is dumb.” “It’ll fade when you shower to an orange, I didn’t mess up with the colour.”
Slapping him again, the old lady ushered him forward and threw a towel at him, babbling on about the price of a colouring. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and handed her the money, drying his hair himself and adding a decent tip. To his surprise his red hair actually looked good. Running a hand through it, Kyuhyun played with it in front of a mirror.
Maybe he should’ve changed it when Donghae first asked him to. Ah well, it was just like him to fulfil a promise when they weren’t friends anymore. As he stepped out of the hairsalon, Kyuhyun smirked, remembering Hae mention something about liking red heads a while back. Asshole will finally know what it feels like to lust after something that’s unreachable. The smirk faded as he started walking back to the Cirque, knowing he was just lying to himself to try and feel better.
Happiness refused to last without Donghae.
Cho Kyuhyun - 한번만 (Just Once) [Han & Eng]
Aftershock || Self
It wasn’t that people had left that bothered him; it was that they left without saying good bye. He didn’t care that they had found something else; he didn’t even want to know what it was. He actually didn’t know what he wanted exactly. He could care less about Tao, or Minhyuk, or Ahyeon, but Min? She’d just leave? It didn’t make any sense. The girl didn't like leaving her tent without oranges, but she was ok with leaving the Cirque?
Kyuhyun was sitting on his bed, pretending to play a game so no one bothered him. With a screen in front of him, he looked focused instead of disengaged. Yoogeun was on the foot of the bed, watching more Abaranger, being disturbingly still. Seeing the boy shudder, Kyuhyun leaned forward and gently tapped him on the shoulder.
“Did the goblins get her?”
Gathering Yoogeun up in his arms, Kyuhyun held onto him as he cried. “No. Min’s too smart to get tricked by them. She had to go help someone.” Small hands clutched onto his shirt and started trembling. “Why?” Squeezing the boy gently, Kyuhyun started rocking slowly, trying to calm Yoogeun down anyway he could. “I don’t know, Yoogeun. Sometimes people just have to go places.”
“Will you leave?”
It was his turn to shudder. “Never.” Pulling away slightly to wipe some tears off Yoogeun cheeks, he pressed a kiss to the boy’s forehead. “I’ll never leave you.” Yoogeun reached up and moved his cheeks into a smile, “Appa, be happy so I get happy.” Kyuhyun pushed Yoogeun’s cheeks with his thumbs so the boy was smiling, “There. Now we’re both happy.”
Motorcycle Scare || Yongguk & Kyuhyun
So far, everything that night had turned out well. He had seen the spider girl, Jia, perform and had talked her into letting him meet the leader, Hongki. Both of them had needed demonstrations, and both of them had gotten them. His power might be strange, but he was still incredibly proud of it. However, the fact still remained that he was there, at the cirque, without any of his belongings that were currently sitting in his apartment. He had already called in and gotten the power, water and internet turned off, but he needed to talk to his landlord about moving out and get all of his things. He was sure the landlord wouldn’t mind. In fact, the ahjumma would probably be happy considering how many complaints she had about Yongguk being too noisy over the past few years.
There was still the issue of him going back to town. He had specifically been told that he couldn’t leave the cirque grounds by himself, but he needed to get his stuff and he didn’t know anyone. He supposed that he could ask Jia, but he had absolutely no idea where she could be. And he doubted that Hongki would want to go into town with him considering how fast the other had gotten away. That left him with two choices. The first choice was that he could walk into a tent, grab a random person, and bring them with him. Of course, that could easily been seen as kidnapping, and he’d rather not get started with the cirque known as that type of person.
So he went with the second choice: intentionally breaking the rules and heading off on his own even though Hongki would probably murder him if he was caught. So he hadn’t gone to sleep, but had waited until it was light outside to head out. Not many people would be up, that he knew, so he knew he should be ok to sneak off. So around 9AM, he snuck out of his tent, taking care not to wake his new tent mates. All of them were there, even the one Known as Donghae that he had been warned had been on a bad drinking binge lately. He knew he couldn’t get caught, not now. He needed his things. At least the picture of him and his father on his bed side table.
Finally, Yongguk made it to where his black motorcycle was parked. He picked up the helmet and fastened it to his head before hearing a tree branch crack. He looked up, startled, to see another man standing there looking at him. He had been caught. “I-I was just moving my bike closer to Camp. Y-yeah…” Of all the things he could do, telling a convincing lie wasn’t one of them.
It was like the kid never slept. Kyuhyun had no idea how his tentmates where able to block out the light from the DVD player, at least he had been smart enough to invest in headphones so he didn’t have the theme song stuck in his head. It didn’t help that Yoogeun would bounce with excitement on his chest every time the Power Rangers transformed. He had resigned to playing solitaire on his phone, hoping that Yoogeun would just fall asleep after each round.
Around 9 there was finally a break, the DVD player closed and Yoogeun took off his headphones. “Appa. I want more.” Blearily, Kyuhyun lifted his head to stare at the boy, too exhausted to make the mental connections himself. “More Abaranger.” With a sigh he lifted Yoogeun off of him and tucked the boy in. “I’ll go get the second season. Get some sleep while I’m gone.” Ruffling the boy’s hair lightly, he started getting dressed as quietly as possible.
Now it was a matter of sneaking out undetected. It was easy enough in the trees as a tiger; most people didn’t look up when going for a walk. Reaching the outskirts, a metallic stench turned his instincts on overdrive. A jolt of fear shot through him at the sight of a motorcycle, but some sick sense of curiosity swelled in his gut. Cautiously he watched someone approach the bike and his eyes narrowed.
He was fully aware that he was breaking the rules, but he had been at the Cirque for a while now. Rules only applied to idiots or the new recruits. A snap forced him to shift back into human form; people didn’t shot at other people in trees, but they shot at tigers. Kyuhyun remained still and waited for an explanation, finding it funny that people thought they had to justify themselves to him. He held no real power at the Cirque, but he didn’t mind that people thought he did.
“Yeah, right.” Dropping down to the ground, he shoved his hands into his pockets and gave the guy a once over. Overall, nothing too intimidating. “You know you’re not supposed to go into town alone.” He knew he was in no position to talk, but sometimes berating others was just too fun. If the guy wasn’t wearing a helmet, he would’ve flicked him on the forehead to drive his point home.
Kyuhyun calming a crying kid.