Queens joker @thequeenofalljokers - Tumblr Blog

there are two types of white heterosexual women who are into fantasy genre, the ones who cling to some twink character whose chances of being attracted to women is around zero percent and the ones who write self insert erotica about some bland ass dude who looks like he would play golf but he’s not rich enough but he swears that his bitcoin investment will pay off

leninthesixth

ladies neither of these men will fuck you, one is too busy calling me slurs and the other is too busy posting hole on grindr

tikkety-tok

Nothing like the relationship between a dad and the pet he didn't think he wanted 😂

bgm05

supper mario broth mad scientist moments

angel-xeno-deactivated20250211

So what you're saying is...

I can run DOOM?

scope-dogg

Expanding the size of my genome until Todd Howard ports Skyrim to me

ccasino

My life has not known peace ever since I posted this

anxietyproblem

arktham

Atlantis: The Lost Empire 2001, dir. Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise

larvitarr

seite

and then they proceeded to be the worst at their jobs for the next 20 years

sindri42

No no, you don’t get it. Jesse and James are the absolute best there is at their jobs, but they have no idea what their jobs are.

They think that they’re thieves, agents of an elite criminal group led by Giovanni, stealing rare pokemon and advanced technology and such. And there might have been a time this actually was their jobs. In the first season or two, they frequently get angry phone calls about how they’ve fucked everything up, or get their expense account cut off because they have literally never turned a profit on their criminal enterprises and constantly procure and then lose/destroy expensive and elaborate devices.

But then the world came within a hair’s breadth of being destroyed, several times, and Jesse, James, and their weird cat rescued everybody. As terrible as they’ve always been at criminal endeavors of any kind, when the apocalypse approaches and they’re forced to step up, they’re really fucking good at saving the day.

And Giovanni is over here like… if the planet is destroyed, or time/space becomes unrecognizable, or civilization collapses, there’s no way for me to run a profitable criminal enterprise anymore. I need this planet, because it’s where I keep all my stuff. And I don’t pretend to understand the why of it, but these couple of bumbling nutcases that I should have fired years ago seem to be an important component of that? Somehow? So you gotta stop thinking about them in terms of acquisitions and start considering them… loss prevention. As in, even if you waste a million dollars a month on giant cat-faced robots and a vast array of fancy ball gowns and they never turn a profit, they are preventing all of your assets from going away at the same time because of something you can’t do anything about.

And that’s the great secret behind Team Rocket. These guys aren’t thieves, they’re professional superheroes (sponsored by organized crime). Of course, nobody ever bothered to tell them that.

edgar-allan-possum

“To protect the world from devastation…”

atopfourthwall

Plus, as is frequently pointed out: Jesse and James are good at every other job EXCEPT Team Rocket. They’re actually smart businesspeople and run successful food and merchandise stands and are great salespeople. Hell, even in Team Rocket situations where they’re not chasing after Pikachu they’ve done better. It’s just their Achilles Heel is one damn OP rodent.

antique-scarecrow

…does this make pikachu a supervillain?

secrets-ill-take-to-my-grave

weaver-z

https://www.change.org/p/department-of-land-and-natural-resources-protect-pololu-valley

I saw this on Tiktok and thought it needed to be passed on. Pololū Valley is sacred land currently at risk of being developed into yet another "scenic tourist attraction" for profit. Activists like @/melemaikalanimakalapua on Tiktok are fighting to have this petition seen by as many people as possible in order to prevent the senseless destruction of this land.

Note that the petition says not to donate to change.org--donations to change.org do NOT protect Pololū Valley.

I hope that by spreading this to tumblr, I can help it reach more people. Please sign this and reblog it if you can!

https://www.change.org/p/department-of-land-and-natural-resources-protect-pololu-valley

weaver-z

^^ A link with more information (especially pertinent for Hawaii residents)! There is no central donation fund for the activists yet, but I will update if one is added.

nothinglu

Ohhh

daughterofaphrodite828

Incredible 😍😍😍

1oldbear

Eat your heart out, Bilbo

enigmaticpink

Do you like enemies to lovers because it’s hot or do you like enemies to lovers because you think of yourself as unlovable & unworthy of love and therefore like the idea of someone seeing all the worst in you right away and still falling in love with you anyways

gratatata-shalala

assassinregrets

ankle-beez

that time Mandy was so annoyed with the plot that she got up and left the fucking episode

guiltiest-gear

O s hi t

BUSH???

mrspider-deactivated20221213

murderers are so embarrassing like how does a grown ass adult have so much free time on their hands that theyre out killing and attacking people…. dont you have like a job or something 😕 idk just like pick a cuter hobby

mrspider-deactivated20221213

if i got attacked by a serial killer i would feel so embarrassed for them like thats so sad. youre like obsessed or something dont you have anything else to do