Dead Account

Chicken... give me tendies!!!! REEEEEEE

[mockingbirdie]

do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.

[mhysa-daenerystargaryen]

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

[smoothsister-deactivated2016032]

OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FOR MONTHS NOW I GET IT

[thegreatbigfourmain]

I DONT GET IT

[notmusa]

i expect ill be able to solve a lot of my problems once my baby brain falls out & my adult brain grows in

[yiffmaster]

this is why you proofread the paper you wrote at 5 am

[sucka99]

[hijerking]

mom: you need to learn how to cook for yourself

me:

[wreckurs]

*stays alive just in case things get better*

[binches-deactivated20220521]

[mayahan]

Clever Illustrations by Danish illustrator HuskMitNavn 

[patydin-deactivated20181026]

[disimba]

Deep.

[bongtokingprincess-deactivated2]

THISS LITERALLY JUST FUCKED ME UP

[walkingonsmoke]

Agreed ^^

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via blessthenasty / MetroUK)

[victorious]

[rednines]

If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s

[darkbookworm13-deactivated20240]

Whoa.

[kvnbksa-blog]

Handy just in case someone decides to… build a wall… or something…

[c3po]

man 2008 had some bangers!!!!!!

[slimetony]

there was a financial crisis

[c3po]

sorry i was like 11 i only remember the bangers 

[flawstronaut]

[bob-belcher]

[thegoodvybe]