Breathing till there is no breath

Hey, I'm 20. I like cats. Have fun. My side blog is sarcastic-tone.tumblr.com

[nothus-ex-lnferno-deactivated20]

i can't believe i'm real i hate this

[verpasstzuleben]

The saddest kind of sad is, when your tears can't even drop anymore and you feel nothing. It's like the world has just ended. You don't cry. You don't hear. You don't see. You stay. For a second the heart dies.

— The emptiness is the worst.

[killed-long-ago-deactivated2021]

“My mind commited suicide way too long ago”

— (via killed-long-ago)

[abcs-ofgrowingup]

[notienedesperdicio]

[battling-my-demons]

[precision-instrument]

Man, remember when we cared about our themes? I haven’t checked my theme in at least three years. Is the html broken? Has it been ripped to shreds by formatting changes? Boy I sure hope so. I want this shithole to be as inaccessible and ugly as possible

[3840293843293-deactivated202211]

give me one good hershey’s kiss and i’ll be alright

[fuckgender-deactivated20200831]

me raiding my pantry after the third emotional breakdown of the night

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Anne Sexton, from The Complete Poems (1999); “Suicide Note,” ed. by Maxine Kumin (x)

[its--5am-deactivated20190318]

[abcsofadhd]

So I found out a few months ago that wanting to ‘not exist’ or wishing you could ‘just sleep forever’ is also considered suicidal (specifically suicidal idealization). It shocked me cause I used to think that way when I was younger but had previously thought that being suicidal meant explicitly wanting to die.. but it actually involves wanting to not live too.

I think its an important thing to note cause it might allow someone to realize the severity of their condition earlier.

[rad-lilithh]

This was the funniest thing to me. Because I was talking to a counselor, and they were like “Are you suicidal?”

“No not really. But sometimes I don’t want to exist though”

“You do know that’s suicidal ideation?”

“…what?”

I wish I kind of knew before. Like honestly, we know so little about mental health.

[expiredvampire]

Same goes for wanting to run away, I had this urge for the longest time, to just leave, I thought it was because I was looking for thrill or something but after a few dozen times of googling “why do I want to run away so badly?” And “is it normal to want to run away?” I found out that that’s also a symptom of depression and suicidal idealization, obviously not as strong but definetly also a part that’s not talked about a lot

[strawberryspoons]

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future

[c0ffeekitten]

Alternatively: I went through periods of depression so frequent and intense that I never considered that I’d actually make it to my 20s so now I’m kinda just making it up as I go

[marrrym-deactivated20170604]

Sometimes your heart cries, while your eyes are dry. And I think that’s the worst.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“She’s lost a little battle here today, but it’s a minor battle in a big war that she’s been winning and that she’ll go on winning.”

— Ken Kesey

[archbudzar]

[d1rtypaws]

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

[angelictrauma]

im hot

H ard to love O bnoxious T errible