Such spooky ghosts

[uss0]

i highly recommend finding yourself a clingy (healthy) lovey dovey partner who's always super excited about you. life is too short to spend it with someone who acts like showing love is a chore.

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[helenvaughans]

[marcy-the-martian]

Remember when covid lockdowns would only be 2 weeks? Yeah, this ain't going away in just 1

[lookninjas]

I'll be honest with you -- I think people who ride extremely loud motorcycles late at night past residential areas should be very very glad that no one has yet figured out how to kill people with their minds.

[afreemanlearns]

[aromancy]

I want to shoot whoever made this app.

[yellow-cat]

when im 45 years old ill still be here posting like take my hand. lets go into menopause together

[nongunktional]

i do think the negative interpretations of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job right now" are kind of reaching. it's obviously a waste of time to theorize the op's intended meaning, so instead i think it's better to recognize how the phrase can be a useful framing device to criticize how much of a fucking hassle it is to get gendered correctly. "but i have a job" e.g. will face discrimination that could threaten livelihood; e.g. don't have the mental bandwidth to explain gender to others; e.g. don't have the time and energy for the soul-searching necessary to confirm. all three of these are labor issues. yes you could interpret it as "but being nonbinary isn't important enough to worry about", despite that being a blatantly bad-faith read. it's more useful to interpret it as "but being publicly nonbinary requires a lot of social effort that, in many cultural contexts, will create more problems that you can't afford to deal with". like cmon it's a really good jumping off point for productive conversations about queer labor rights

[lizardsfromspace]

What dark secret a small town is concealing, by region:

Northeast - ancient cult from old country

Midwest - a monster betwixt the corn

South - that reclusive family no one dares speak of

Southwest - experiment gone wrong

Northwest - eerie unsolved murder

[lizardsfromspace]

Alaska - something buried under centuries of ice, rising when the days draw short

Hawaii - a curse in the lava the mainlanders are too arrogant to fear

Florida - no one in Florida keeps their fucked up shit a secret

[feedyourdeadnametothevoidfish]

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

[anarchistmemedistro]

62 8

[technofeudalism]

[g00burr]

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

[anarchistmemedistro]

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

[garaks-padded-bra]

this fuck ass kitten somehow got behind the kitchen cabinet built into the wall and INTO THE WALL . i got him out with funny toy on stick and shredded chicken but i got so scared i almost threw up and now the entire house must be babyproofed

[garaks-padded-bra]

I had to take him into the utility room with me while i was finding duct tape to close off the bottom of the fireplace as well, so he wouldnt despawn when i was gone, and WHEN I PUT HIM DOWN TO GET THE DUCT TAPE, HE MANAGED TO NUTTY PUTTY CAVE HIMSELF IN ANOTHER CRANNY I DIDNT KNOW EXISTED. AND AS I PULLED HIM OUT BY THE ASS HE CRIED LIKE A HUMAN BABY. do NOT make me feel bad for saving your dust bunny spelunking ass you SICKO

He had me doing this shit 3 times today

[garaks-padded-bra]

he is SICK of it

[yume-fanfare]

i think it's really fun when a rly specific trope is super popular in one particular medium but in other ones it's just totally unheard of. it's the time knife. visual novel players are suuuuper used to death games but many others encountered them for the first time in squid games. the other day my mom showed me all excited the summary of a super original novel she found and it was about a girl who got reincarnated as the main character in her favorite fantasy book

[paperjoshi]

what the fuck is a time knife

[bramblepatch]

[strawberrylovely]

[undeadentropy]

Time knife is a form of time knife

[viohra]

The Angel of Death

FISTS YOU

And then you Die

[viohra]

Context: my teacher translated the verb “to grasp with one’s hand” as “to fist” since that’s kinda what it literally means, but you can’t translate it like that into English because “to fist” means something ENTIRELY different, but she doesn’t know that.

So she was explaining how they use the verb to describe the angel of death taking your soul — he rips your soul out of you with his fist. Now that’s pretty damn metal, but she said word for word “the angel of death fists you, and then you die” which is the single most terrifying and powerful sentence to ever grace my ears

[cassidyrld]

Op i appreciate the context but i was going to rb anyway no questions asked

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[strawberry-crocodile]

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

[strawberry-crocodile]

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

[sniperct]

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[penny-anna]

get im

[penny-anna]

[ashlgcostumes]

As someone who is both trans and has a child, absolutely hilarious to me that society presents one of these as absolutely only to be done if you are 110% certain and have proved to several people that you want it bad enough and are ready, and the other is like. You might as well everyone else does. Just do it nobody feels ready. You don’t want to? Yes you do

Especially since one of those is pretty reversible if you change your mind after a couple years and the other one, well, technically but that’s pretty frowned upon

[enba-and-luka]