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@expandhong
*gets hurt in video game*
me: ow
All. The. Time.
Just about died laughing when this happened. Have a video!
I just storytimed one of my scrubby games to the HoN forums, and I'm reposting it here. Let's talk about Flint. He's that hero I want to like, just like every other scrub, but I usually end up wondering why I picked him because despite the nice attack animation, he's a nightmare to last hit with because his damage is just SO low to start, and flash farming is a bit mana prohibitive, so if you don't get a strong start in lane, you're probably fucked. I especially had reservations about picking him in this game because I was at the low end of a 200 mmr spread.
So anyway I was sent to long lane with a Lodestone, against Glacius and Berzerker. Kind of a nightmare. That Lodestone saved my ass a couple times and managed to get me a kill on Berzerker at about 8 minutes, didn't take a death til about 10 minutes, but i wasn't really getting farm either and got forced out a couple times. After that death a fight broke out top which I got back to a little too late, misplayed horribly and dead again.. another soon later. 15 minutes or so, our Gladiator and myself make the mistake of walking around Legion ancients where there's a MQ. He asked over voice what I'm doing, because I'm gonna get ulted. "Good point" and I head back out, he runs into her first. Poor bastard. Totally embarrassing performance at this point. 19 minutes I've got phase boots (I felt like it!) and a power supply. I've had better farm at this point on supports! We've got few wards and a couple of flash farmers, so I feel like I've got nowhere to be except these fights that keep happening that we don't seem to come out on top of. Our Klanx is pretty much the only one doing decent. 20 minutes I port bot, I'm a little slow running in on a clearly dead Glacius, get the kill because I really expected that Flare to happen sooner. Sorry not sorry! I get another kill soon after but die in that fight due to generally playing like crap, another soon after, give up and make a couple Soulscreams at 25 minutes. Totally embarrassed. At 32 minutes I end MQ's streak for about 500g and I can finish a Firebrand. Still crap farm, but I felt so much better for getting payback on her. 34 or 35 minutes the enemies are attempting our mid rax. No kills for me, but some OK assists, wind up getting a Warhammer, as I seem to now be a bit more on top of my "stay out of the way and shoot people" game but I'm feeling like my damage sucks. 37 minutes they're able to get our mid melee rax, but Klanx is getting scary, most of them die and we're able to get a tower a minute later, I pick up the Shieldbreaker. 40 minutes they attempt our top tower, they fail miserably. Their next push goes to finish off our mid (still got the ranged rax). It stays up and I'm able to get a couple kills out of it. SB3 now. 44 minutes I decide my attack speed is horrible and ask team if they think I should get elders "like every other scrub Flint" and get no answer so I say **** it and grab the Beastheart. I've got EP finished before the next real fight (for our bot rax now) at 47 minutes, where I get zerged down inside the base before even popping it. Team is able to salvage the situation though, like I say to all chat, "me for 3? ok." MQ sneaks away and takes out our mid ranged rax, but she is now the only opponent alive. Team chases her to opposing top rax by the time I rez, so I decline to attempt running up there, but I'm ready to help defend against their next push. This one's for our top rax. MQ almost dies, shrouds up IN OUR BASE with about 10% while we kill her teammates. Glad is able to get a showdown on her right before she TP's out. So we kill her, tear ass up mid, take down melee rax, but wind up losing a fight. Real back and forth stuff. They make another half assed attempt at top, defense is successful (with me finally swinging back to a positive score at freaking 52 minutes) ... but at the cost of MQ ninja pushing our bot base tower. I add a Riftshards cause why the hell not, right? We get their ranged mid rax, win another fight against the respawns that gets me another kill and costs them both their mid and top rax, while MQ once again chooses not to fight us and tries to go solo our base towers. They concede before I can have my full Riftshard upgrades delivered. So in the end, it's gone from being a horrible performance to "eh, could be worse." 11-9-23 with 323 gpm. What's the point? Not sure. I'm still not really sure how I wound up recovering farm at all. I kinda hate having two flash farmers on my team when I'm not one of them, I hate that feeling of "nowhere safe to go except these fights so we better win them!" ....but it was worth it because Klanx pretty much won that game for us. Yes, I'm aware that on top of being extremely slow to get anything, that was probably the wrong order to go about it, and probably shouldn't have picked Flint in the first place.. I was just in a mood and SD dropped him in my lap.
Asshole of the evening didn't believe I should have quick picked Chronos, so he made one of the typical cracks about how I'll still be useless at 40 minutes, then went Dampeer jungle. This sticks me in long lane, with a decent Blitz (who wound up getting damn near every kill I was involved in, not that I mind that), against Torturer and Puppet. What a goddamn nightmare and what a fucker. Admittedly I came out with a mildly negative score, but a lot of assists and even a couple wards (nobody would buy the fucking things for a long while).. while Dampeer did next to nothing all game long. Really? Is this necessary? "You're gonna suck and I stand by that, so I'm gonna fuck up the lanes to make sure of it!" Self fulfilling prophecy in the extreme. I hate people.
We did win, though.
ass TO MOUTH
MY BONER IS COLD
WARM IT UP WILL YA!
I wANNA RIDE yOUR ROOSTER
"magebane this isn't the game for cleaver, get helm" -our Dampeer. Tell me that shit before I already have Sustainer, and I disagree anyway! If you can have it in that 15-20 minute range, why the fuck not? I was literally about to order it at 15:39 when the enemies conceded, already sitting pretty with 3-0-3 on the board at 328 GPM, which could only go up from there.
Cumming in CuntS #17
Delicious vagina
pyro dosen’t mind hearing scout’s stories about himself, but he could get tired someday,
The pic took a sec to load, I was sad when I saw it's not the pyro and scout I was thinking of!
More facts on Ultrafacts
That bottom one. Obviously somebody doesn't play HoN.
Oh, Pyromancer, do you think you could refrain from power farming when your team has 3 carries? Especially when one had a 20 minute Cleaver he couldn't really take advantage of because of your selfishness..
And if you really just compulsively eat all the farm you see, the least you could do is buy a fucking PK before all that Shards/Staff bullshit you wasted your sabotage money on..
LOOK out
its DicK CrushinG time
ASS FuCKER
SPOOGE
BLACK DICK ANAL CHALLENGE
Play 12 Games and win!