Internalized Duality

Hi. You interested in gore shit? I got plenty of gore shit to go around. Also got some clickable circles. (M!A: None. Event: None. Header by Me. Icon by @flavoredfungus. Mun is not a minor.)

[expertspy]

(Surprise, I guess. Bet none of you really expected one more post out of me here, right? Well, neither did I. Then again, life always has surprises in store, doesn't it? I suppose this is simply one of them.

Anyway, I've still been eyeing this site from time to time, even though I'm almost certainly never doing anything substantial here anymore at this point. I've learned long ago that once I lose the drive for something, I'm most likely never getting it back. I've also learned that my motivation really depends on my perceived success, and if I feel like something is starting to go downhill for me, my drive just tanks. Is it a bad mindset to have? Oh, almost certainly. Not much I can do, though.

Honestly, I wish I could change a lot about myself. If I hadn't been so impulsive when I was younger, if I didn't focus so heavily on results, if I could just move on from every little mistake I've made, I probably would be a lot happier right now. Alas, it just wasn't meant to be. I don't have anyone else to blame but myself for the hole I find myself in right now. It's all my fault, and I'm the only one who can get myself out of it.

Ah, sorry about the surprise vent post. It's probably not what you wanted or expected. Maybe I'm just speaking into the void, desperately hoping against hope for some kind of response that I don't deserve to get. Maybe this feels less like a vent and more like I'm fishing for attention. Or maybe, I'm just overthinking this like I do for most of the stuff in my life. Who knows? Well, it's probably the last part. Curse me and my brain.

In any case, that's about it for this. Maybe I'll feel a little better after I post this, or maybe I'll just delete this in a little while out of guilt or something. Whatever happens, at least I did something on here. If this stays up, then thanks for sticking around to see this. If not, then at least you got to see a little glimpse into my broken ass mind or whatever, and now you have inside info. Take care, and enjoy life.)

[expertspy]

Hello 👋,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞

The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔

Your support can make a difference. Whether by reading our story, donating, or sharing our campaign with others, you can help us reunite, find safety, and start anew. 🙏🕊

Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for your kindness, compassion, and solidarity during this difficult time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/58268669 🔗

Donate to Help Reunite a Family Torn A part by the War, organized by Jumana Elmadhoun

My name is Jumana Elmadhoun I am writing on behalf of… Jumana Elmadhoun needs your support for Help Reunite a Family Torn

[expertspy]

(Happy New Year, everyone. Yes, I'm a little late, but whatever. If you see this on your dash, then thanks for still following. I'm pretty certain at this point that a comeback to Tumblr is not in the cards anymore, so this might be the last post. Who knows, though, maybe I'll get inspired or something and hop back on here.

My time on Discord has led to some pretty big developments in my muses in between the very few posts I've made since I kinda faded away from here, so if by some miracle I come back here, there will most likely be some major catching up to do. That, plus the major shift in the landscape that's happened during my absence, really puts a damper on any comeback effort. Even now, I still get nervous about interacting with new people, and that probably contributed to why I wasn't really that well known even during my heyday. Not having my friends here anymore certainly doesn't help, either.

Still, I can't fully say that I'm completely done with this site forever. I still fondly remember the fun times I've had and all the friends I've made here. Plus, I've technically already made a comeback once before, so it's definitely still a possibility. Don't bother looking at my pre-Danganronpa days, though, cuz I was god awful at RP and didn't understand a thing about it back then. You'll probably cringe. Actually, you'll definitely cringe. So don't do it, for both your sake and mine.

Anyway, I guess that's about it for this surprise post. If you get to the end of this, then thanks for sticking around and reading my little yap fest. I'm not sure why you'd still be following a blog that's made like five posts in the past three years or so, but I appreciate it. I don't think this qualifies as a teaser or anything, but life is full of surprises. May 2025 be a good year for you all.)

[expertspy]

Remembrance

Remembrance If you’ve ever been brave enough to tread the path to the famous Grand Narukami Shrine, high up on the peak of Mt. Yougou, chan

(Hi, dead blog here. Just here to drop off this short story I wrote a while ago. If you guys like Genshin Impact, this might be up your alley.)

(If I feel like it, I might drop off a few other drabbles later on. No promises, though.)

[expertspy]

I don't know if you keep in contact with any of the other muns but know that I hope you guys are all doing alright! Best wishes from a mun that was around the space back then 💕

(Oh, don't worry, they're not dead or anything. They, like me, ended up transferring to Discord as their main platform. We're still roleplaying and stuff, just over there instead. Also thanks for the well wishes!)

[expertspy]

(Uhh, hello? Hello hello? Anyone still there? Cuz if there is... well, I have no idea why you are. I've been radio silent for the past year or so, and let's not get into like actual blog activity.) (But, uhh, hi! I'm still alive, just not here. If you guys know Court, Ellie, Pluto, Elijah, Tori (who goes by Ashton/Leon nowadays), they're also still alive too, just... also not here.)

(Not gonna lie, I've been tempted every once in a while to come back here and try to reestablish my footing here, but I never really had the drive to commit. I've taken on/made a whole bunch of new characters during my absence and have occasionally been wondering how they would do here.)

(So... uhh, if you're still alive and maybe interested in what I have, well, maybe there's something brewing. Feel free to check out @a-perfect-wish, it'll probably be where I test the waters.)

[shittysawtraps]

hello mr habick. yesterday you sent an email to my trans masc boyfriend asking if he wanted to come to the gym and train on tuesdays, the girls day, because they needed more “females and gender-diverse people”, even though he has everything legally changed and is of a binary gender, not gender diverse. therefore you now find yourself trapped in our school gym, im which a hundred bitchy netball girls have just been told that you think that the prettiest girls always play goal defence. survive if you can.

[thewordiswoman]

I mean she is a girl so it makes sense she'd be invited to girls day

[xakumi]

no he isnt. fuck off transphobe

[thewordiswoman]

Yes she is sweetheart,no amount of delusion changes biology

[xakumi]

No he isn't, sweetheart. It isn't hard to fucking respect someone's pronouns. It isn't delusion, it's his damn identity. It isn't hurting anyone to respect that.

[thewordiswoman]

Still doesn't change your biology, and Biology is always right

[xakumi]

K

[autistichyena]

U

[expertspy]

N

[silkypicrew]

let’s call it what it is 💞

[philconnorz]

K

[isopawwed-deactivated20240115]

U

[theaviskullguy]

N

[threearclight-deactivated202211]

G

[xakumi]

P

[tracobuttons]

O

[fungibrainz]

𝚆

[expertspy]

P

[expertspy]

also how much do you know about, well,,, us?

"Well... how much do you know about yourselves? Because, well..."

Spy reaches into his jacket and takes out a familiar mask. Grey, with completely blacked out glasses. There's smoke coming out of the back.

"...everyone starts somewhere. My start was this mask. It took some time for me to take it off. I still use it, but... not so much anymore."

[expertspy]

hit or miss, i guess they never miss, huh? you got a boyfriend, i bet he doesn't kiss ya (mwah!) he gon' find another girl and he won't miss ya! he gon' skirt and hit the dab like wiz khalifa!!

The narrator would like to inform everyone that this anon has 5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

...this anon is now dead.

[expertspy]

Can't you find the captor that way?

"It's really hit-or-miss, not gonna lie. Also... plot armor. I know pretty much nothing about the guy. Or if they're actually a guy. I just know they have Wren's cousin and are asking for a rather large ransom."

[expertspy]

so.. about that forbidden knowledge you can access...

"What about it?" Okay this seems totally unnecessary-

[expertspy]

who's that?

"Oh, that was Wren. Some of you probably know her already. Ultimate Cardist. Was thrown into the same killing game I was forced to mastermind."

[expertspy]

Can we help at all? Or is this a "Please just let me be a badass" moment?

"Umm... maybe. Depends on how fast you guys can deliver a message. I can handle most of it on my own. I just need someone to act as... insurance, just to make sure it doesn't end poorly."

[expertspy]

Tell Wren the anons say hi!

"...hey, Wren, please. Just tell me what you know. We'll get her back. I promise."

Spy goes silent. Seems Wren's giving him the information.

"...okay, I see. I think I can work with this. I'll call you back, okay? Might need to call in some favors for this. Alright, bye. Please don't do anything stupid."

He hangs up.

"...you know, you guys fucking suck sometimes."

[expertspy]

Hewwo? Who's on the othew end of the wine? Hewwo?

"...you... you can't be serious, right? She was kidnapped?!"

Spy seems to be in complete shock and disbelief. A fair reaction, considering the news.

"Hey, listen, okay? Wren, listen to me. Things will be fine. I can help you. Don't worry. We'll get her back. Please, just calm down..."

[expertspy]

Oh deary, not a good look for you.

Spy walks into frame. He's on the phone. Seems to be a casual conversation. He's even smiling.

"Oh, hey. How's it going? Been a while since the last time we've spoken."

The smile disappears. Uh oh.